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He was drifting. Lost in the darkness, he was only aware of one thing: he wasn’t really awake. He was in a sort of coma and had no idea of how long he’d been. Something had changed, though; at a certain point after he’d closed his eyes in front of Belle for what he’d thought was the last time, he’d felt a different kind of magic pulling at his heart, a magic that wasn’t as poisonous and as painful as the Dark One’s, but that had hurt him horribly nonetheless. It had ripped his curse from his heart, but the Dark One had tried to cling to him with all of its strength, leaving him devastated.
For the first time in way too many years, his battered heart wasn’t burdened with the darkest of magic, and for a moment he’d almost reveled in the newfound sensation of freedom. But soon after that guilt had kicked in.
Without the curse convincing him that he had done the right thing, the memories of all the horrible deeds he’d committed through all of his life came crushing down on him, taking his breath away.
He’d killed so many people.
Ruined so many lives.
Broken the heart of everyone he’d ever loved.
He was nothing but a coward and a monster; he didn’t deserve to live and he didn’t want to. He was so tired, so tired of running, of fighting and losing, of having his heart broken over and over again.
Now he had a way out of it all. He could just let go and finally free the world and himself from the burden his life had always been. It would probably be the best decision of his life.
“Rumple…”
Someone was talking. He could hear it, a faint, distant voice calling for him.
“Rumple, please, wake up.”
He tried to focus on it, and the voice seemed to get stronger.
“Don’t leave me alone.”
His heart missed a beat. It was Belle.
Belle. Who he’d hurt more times than anyone else. Who had loved him so much and only gotten a broken heart out of it. Who had been the victim of anyone who wanted to take revenge on him. Who had more reasons than anyone to hate him.
She was by his side.
And she was crying.
“Please, don’t die. I’ve already lost you too many times, I couldn’t survive another one. Please, come back to me.”
He couldn’t physically be crying right now, but he felt like he was. She was begging him to come back. After everything he’d done to her, she was still fighting for him.
All of a sudden, he wished he had the strength to wake up. He wished he could open his eyes, wipe away her tears, wrap his arms around her and never let her go again, unless she wanted him to.
He wanted to hug her and protect her from every pain in the world, because he never wanted to hear her cry again.
She deserved to be happy, deserved the world to be kind to her just as much as she was kind to the world. And if his death would make her sad, than he would fight to live. After all she’d gone through because of him, he owed her to at least spare her this new heartbreak, no matter how hard it was for him to keep going.
He would wake up.
And he would come back to her.