Chapter Text
This year, Remus couldn't bring himself to simply walk though the wall at platform 9 3/4 as he usually did. Instead, he ran at full speed, almost knocking the wind out of himself, in his desperation to escape his muggle life again.
When the young werewolf broke through on the other side, a brief wave of tranquillity washed over him, soaking him in that familiar, wonderful feeling of the magical world. Remus would never understand his father's insistence on living in muggle London. Brixton was, in Remus' humble opinion, just about the worst place on the globe. He hated the atmosphere, the people, the smell.
So, when he finally ran through the brick wall separating him from his real home, even in that dazed, strung-out state, even with the memories of the summer laying thwart across his mind, he really- really- liked it. Reality came crashing back, however, when his eyes landed on one Sirius Black.
He stood as he always did- tall and proud, with the confidence of someone who was told how handsome they were far too often. Not that it wasn't true, of course. Sirius was the pinnacle of beauty. His high cheekbones, refined jaw and long, silky black hair drew the attention of young witches and wizards alike- though the girls were thoroughly disappointed when Sirius rather loudly and publicly came out as gay to the entire student body at the Marauders' famous annual Halloween party last year:
"And, for your information, I will not be snogging Mary tonight, as- quite frankly- I could not think of anything worse than getting with a woman, thank you very much." He was, admittedly, off his face on muggle vodka and was not in the clearest of minds (he had also indulged in a "cheeky spliff", as Remus had introduced it, but don't tell Lily that).
Remus had had a little revelation of his own during the summer- which he found down the throat of his new 'mate' Shaun when playing a particularly inappropriate game of truth or dare with his London friends. After figuring that, hey, maybe he did enjoy the occasional quickie with a bloke, he decided to use the summer to experiment, taking full advantage of his incredibly lax London friends, and had concluded fairly quickly that he was definitely into both boys and girls.
So, when he finally saw Sirius after two months, and for the first time since his big revelation, he realised that he was absolutely- positively- fucked. In every sense of the word. He found himself caught in a strange stupor when he looked at the boy- all of a sudden, Remus wished that he could hold his beautiful friend in his arms. It would be peaceful- completely peaceful. Like the falling of sleep, but awake in it together. Something inside him felt hollowed out, then, like someone had taken a spoon to his stomach and scraped the sides clean, because Remus couldn't handle this too.
Squaring his shoulders, he glazed his eyes over to hide his inner turmoil and attempted to portray peak casualness as he approached his fellow Marauders. James was the first to spot him.
"Oh, Moony! My, what a strong man you have become!" Was how James beckoned him over, gesturing to him wildly.
With a fond roll of his eyes, Remus quickened his pace, unable to help the grin that spread on his reddening cheeks.
"No but seriously, mate, you're like two feet taller, how much chocolate have you been munching on?" James, predictably, did not drop the subject, even as Euphemia briskly bundled Remus up in her motherly embrace. Remus heaved a slow, heavy breath from his nose, relishing in the comfort the woman so easily brought to him. One thing about Mrs. Potter was that she always knew when someone needed a hug, and she would always give one without mentioning the motive behind it. Remus couldn't help but revel in what a wonderful, wonderful woman James was lucky enough to call his mum (and if there was any envy to this thought, well, nobody else had to know that).
Peter and James spoke easily about their summers whilst boarding the train, having spent much of it together as they lived close by. Sirius did not contribute much to the conversation, as expected by the rest of the gang. They were all painfully aware of the reality of his home life, with his cruel mother and distant father. It was, however, quite strange that Remus was keeping quiet, also.
Noticing this, the others turned expectantly to the boy with a hint of worry on each of their faces- it was not unusual for Remus to be more of a subdued character, but he had always caught the boys up on his two months away from them, especially now that they knew about his... furry little problem. It did not go unnoticed by the other boys that Remus had a new scar running the length across his nose.
"Remus, mate, what about you- how did the holidays treat you? Causing trouble for poor old Lyall?" Sirius didn't mean to strike a nerve, he really didn't. So, when Remus looked at him with poorly concealed rage, it felt almost like a direct hit to the stomach.
He pretends to consider the question for a minute, but really he's just biting down until the razor in his throat goes away and he's able to smile, just a little. "What? No. It was fine. Uneventful. Boring, really. You don't want to hear about it." Sirius felt more than heard the guardedness with which the words were spoken. James and Peter were, of course, completely oblivious and continued to ramble on about the continuous pranks they pulled on Pete's poor, unsuspecting parents whenever they found themselves bored during the holiday.
Remus drifted off to somewhere unreachable, eyes dark with some unfathomable emotion and shoulders slumped as if the weight of the world rested there, and Sirius looked at him with an understanding so crushing he felt as though he'd die by the pain of it.
Upon entering the dorm, Remus allows himself to face-palm into his bed. His bed. Not that too-big uncomfortable one in his father's house where he can never get a restful nights sleep, and which always leaves him with back pains no sixteen-year-old should be having. His bed, in his room, with his friends. He unclenches his jaw for the first time since he left the castle two months ago.
Sirius, ever the overly-affectionate, mangy dog that is his animagus, immediately follows suite, collapsing next to Remus and nosing his face into the boy's shoulder, clearly content. Sirius' shoulders relax immediately and he feels the tension seeping from each of his muscles as he acclimates to his Moony's warmth. He feels for a moment as if he is hugging the sun, that is how much brightness and warmth Remus brings him. Mortifyingly, Remus feels a heat rising to his cheeks as he instinctively wraps his arms around his friend.
Yes, Remus, friend. Christ on a bike.
James whistles at the pair, snickering to himself at the way they're so soft with each other.
"Poofters." he remarks, with no real malice. Sirius merely snorts into Remus' neck, sending vibrations through the werewolf which rattle his brain and he forgets what James had said before he even had the chance to be bothered about it.
Peter is bouncing from foot to foot in the doorway, chattering indistinctly about how he's hungry and would like to go eat now, thank you very much. But the pair on the bed pay him no mind, so James stops unpacking and volunteers to accompany him to the kitchens after grabbing the invisibility cloak from his trunk. Once alone, the two bodies on the bed, which have seemingly merged into one now, relax even further, enjoying the safety that comes with the embrace of the other after missing that security during the summer.
Sirius almost wants to ask Remus why he wont speak about his past two months, but doesn't want to disturb the other boy now that he seems to have finally unworried his brow. So, he decides against it, but promises himself not to pussyfoot out of questioning Remus on the subject once they're all settled in later in the week. All he can do is hope that he'll be enough, and that the Casanova of Gryffindor Tower will confide in him. He wants nothing more than to comfort the boy who touches like the sun.