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Jungkook’s exhaustion was bone deep but not in a physical way. His body was not weighing him down. He wasn’t slouching or dragging his feet. His head didn’t hurt. His eyes weren’t bloodshot red even though he had been on a flight that lasted several hours. He felt tired in a way people do when they’ve been away from home a little too long, when they’ve been thrown into the middle of a raging storm and had nothing to center them. The strong winds had blown him in every direction and he’d been more than happy to go along for the ride. He’d asked for it after all. It’s been dizzying new, exciting, and nerve-wracking at the same time. All he had to do was close his eyes and the beautiful face of that ten-year-old girl crying at the sight of him made his heart full. Or the video of the man staring at him with stars in his eyes while Jungkook performed for thousands in the middle of Times Square. Or his personal favorite. The story of the old married couple who came to see him for their 50th wedding anniversary.
There were times when he questioned the very meaning of his existence and wondered whether all of the constant bullshit was worth it. What was the point of it all? And it wasn’t as though he was one hundred percent all right in the head now. But he has gained a new perspective. He’s had an epiphany of sorts. He decided to trust in himself, in his heart, in the man millions of people adored for no reason he could comprehend. He realized he didn’t have to. It was enough just to bask in their love, in the precious moments created, frozen in time, immortalized on film. Long after he leaves this world, stories of the singer he had been, the Golden Maknae of Bangtan who provided so many with comfort, positivity, and hope will live on. What else could a mere Busan boy ask for?
Jungkook stepped out of the car and discreetly slipped inside the building of the apartment complex he knew as well as his own. He rode the elevator all the way to the highest floor, his heart thumping in his chest. It wasn’t mere excitement that propelled him forward. It was more like a magnetic field that made his limbs glide toward the apartment door at the far corner of the hallway. There was a beep that reverberated when he swiped his key card. He pushed the door open and stepped inside. His suitcase was dropped unceremoniously and he looked around, trying to adjust to the dim lighting of the living room.
Jungkook saw him then. He was sitting on the floor. His phone was tightly clutched, lips bitten ruby red. He was drowning in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie too big for his small frame. They were Jungkook’s clothes. Jungkook swallowed the lump in his throat and walked inside, closing the door.
Jimin had looked up the second the door clicked open. Jungkook saw it register in his eyes. He was truly back. He wasn’t daydreaming. Jungkook smiled then, his eyes lighting up as he opened his arms wide. Jimin rose to his feet in one breath and ran to him. He jumped into his arms and wrapped his legs around his waist. Jungkook held him with all the care in the world. After all, there was nothing more precious to him than the man clinging to him for dear life. If he was going to lose it all, the only thing he would die to keep would be Park Jimin. Jimin was the only anchor he’s ever needed, his true North. He only wanted to go far so he could return right here. The only home he’s ever known.
When Jimin started to sob, Jungkook dropped to the ground in order to hold him properly. Jimin wrapped himself around him like a koala, and Jungkook caressed the length of his back, doing his best to comfort him.
“Hyung,” he whispered in his hair, “Jimin-ah, I’m home. Your baby’s home.”
Jimin only cried harder at that and Jungkook chuckled in his hair because this was him the last time they had been away from each other a little too long. It had taken Jimin a while to stop his flow of tears. And he did know how worried Jimin had been this time around. He’d verbalized it time and time again. But he’d also watched his birthday live when he had a moment to himself to wind down. He’d seen the way Jimin’s gaze had lowered when talking about how worried for Jungkook he was, his palpable concern, and the pout he’d directed to the millions of fans watching even though he knew they were just as helpless in this situation. Jungkook had cried then, because he missed him so much, especially the little things, like the way Jimin kissed each of his eyelids right before he slept in his arms.
Before Jungkook could recover his bearings, Jimin’s lips were on his and he was being kissed within an inch of his life. They rolled around on the floor, Jimin’s legs still wrapped around Jungkook, his hands tangled in the younger’s hair. He pulled at the roots in a way that made Jungkook hiss in pain but he didn’t utter a complaint. Instead, he reveled in it. He was going to let Jimin take whatever he needed. It’s what he’s always known how to do best anyway.
***
Jimin had run a bath for him before his arrival. He took his time stripping him of his clothes. In fact, he almost bit Jungkook’s head off when he said he could undress himself.
“Get in,” Jimin said. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?”
“What’s that smile? You look like an idiot.” Jimin rolled his eyes and propelled him into the bathtub. “Please get in before the water gets cold.”
“Okay, okay,” Jungkook said, laughing, heart light and full of unadulterated joy. “I’m getting in. What’s your problem?”
“Aish, this kid,” Jimin muttered to himself as he waddled over to the sink and grabbed Jungkook’s hair shampoo.
“Will you stop calling me kid? Like ever?” Jungkook was pouting even though Jimin couldn’t see him. He splashed his fingers in the bubbles because why the hell not.
Jimin turned around and gave him a glare, stemming whatever complaints he was contemplating uttering. “It’s the best term of endearment as far as I’m concerned.”
“Huh,” Jungkook’s jaw dropped and he splashed the bubbles some more. “It’s never kid when I’m balls deep in you though. Then, you’re all, right there, Daddy, you’re so big.”
Jimin choked on air where he stood, holding the bottle of shampoo. He was such a comical sight in Jungkook’s oversized hoodie and sweatpants that Jungkook started guffawing.
“You’re actually more delusional than your fans,” Jimin said when he recovered his speech. “We both know you’re never getting called Daddy.”
“There are millions out there dying for the chance to do so,” Jungkook retorted, tilting his head because he was sassy like that.
Jimin walked over to the tub and placed the shampoo on the floor. He stripped out of his clothes and climbed in behind Jungkook, caging him with his legs and sitting on the edge. “You’re welcome to walk right out of that door and be with one of them. I mean, I’m sure there isn’t a single thing they wouldn’t be willing to call you.”
Jungkook scoffed at that, eyes narrowing in slight annoyance. Jimin was now applying the shampoo to his hair, his deft fingers massaging his scalp in a way that made Jungkook melt. “So, that’s the final verdict? Really, Jimin-ah? It’s never going to happen?”
“Oh for fuck’s sake Jungkookie, you aren’t Kim Namjoon,” Jimin said. “You’re my baby. A big baby who could probably out fuck the most prolific porn stars out there but is still very much a baby. So, no, it’s never happening.”
“But Joonie Hyung would have gotten called Daddy, huh?” Jungkook bit out, his annoyance morphing into anger.
“Without asking,” Jimin said, still shampooing Jungkook’s hair. “Have you seen the man? All he has to do is look at you and the word would be out of your mouth before you knew what was going on.”
“You know what, let go of me.” Jungkook made to move away from him. “Joonie Hyung isn’t far from you. You’re welcome to go and jump in his bed.”
Jimin pulled him back with force, hands tightening in his hair. He leaned down and began to husk in his ear. “I don’t want him. I’ve never wanted anyone else but you, baby boy, and we both know that, so I have a proposal for you.” Jimin paused for dramatic effect, letting Jungkook stew in the suspense because sadists loved to torture their willing victims. Jungkook would know. He’s lived with one his whole life. “How about I call you Hyung instead? Just for tonight?” Jimin’s voice dropped even lower and Jungkook felt a shudder run through him at the prospect. “We both know that would turn you on so much more than Daddy ever would. So, what do you say, Jungkookie hyung? Do we have a deal?”
“Yeah, we do,” Jungkook croaked out, willing his head to not fog up too soon. He needed to keep his wits about him. He had a feeling Jimin won’t go easy on him tonight. “I mean yes. I accept the terms of your deal.”
“There we go,” Jimin said, the smirk evident in his tone. “Tonight, you call all the shots. So where would you like to start?”
Jungkook wriggled out of Jimin’s hold and submerged himself in the water face down. He might as well drown himself in the soapy bubbles. There was no way he was coming out of this night alive.