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Lucy is just settling in for the night and she picks up her phone and sighs when she sees there’s no new messages from anyone or him. It’s not like she was expecting him to call, they hadn’t exactly talked before she left for UC school.
It’s time for you to move on was still ringing in her head. And she hates it because Tim is the one person in her life that she can rely on. And now…
She signs and puts her phone back down and falls against the pillow hoping to get at least a few hours of sleep.
***
Lucy is back in her hallway watching Tim walk away again and again. It’s like it’s on a cycle filtering through. She stands there, tears in her eyes as she watches him leave. His words echoing against the walls. And then she walks back in and suddenly Tim is on the sofa bleeding and she cries out because no she can’t lose him. She just can’t.
She back in the hallway, and then Tim is walking away again. And it’s like she losing him over and over again.
Lucy sits up straight and she’s covered in sweat. She swallows as she glances at her phone. She taps it and the screen lights up. No new messages.
It was a dream. It was a dream. Her fingers hover over the screen and she’s itching to call Tim, just to hear his voice.
But he doesn’t want to talk to her, it’s time for you to move on. So she doesn’t call him, she just falls down again and hopes she doesn’t have that nightmare again.
***
She doesn’t dream again that night but the next night she has the same dream and then again the next night. It’s a little different each time but one thing remains the same. She loses Tim in the end. Every single time.
And every night when she wakes up sweating, her fingers hover over her phone just itching to call him to make sure he’s okay.
One night after a particular bad one, she does end up pressing his name her hands shaking as she holds the phone up to her ear. He answers but she hangs up right away, not knowing what to say. He calls back three times but she ignores them all. He’s okay. He’s okay.
The next night she goes out with Noah maybe to have fun or maybe to avoid sleeping. She has fun, she does but she can’t help but think about what it would be like to have Tim besides her. She goes back to her room that night exhausted. And maybe that’s a good thing and she won’t dream.
***
Lucy is on the couch with Tim trying to stop the bleeding and she cries out in agony, pain. Why did this have to happen to her? To him? This is all her fault. Why. Lucy calls 911 and falls to her knees begging Tim to stay with her…
Lucy sits up once again and snatches her phone up. She presses Tim’s name without even thinking about what she is going to say. He answers on the first ring and before she can hang up, he talks.
“Lucy, what the hell is going on?” He growls. “Why do you call me and then hang up?” She doesn’t answer right away, she rubs her eyes and bites her lip.
It’s time for you to move on.
“I’m fine.” She says.
“That’s not what I—” Tim starts but she hangs up before he can get another word out. He calls back a few times but she turns her phone off.
***
The nightmares last throughout UC school and then she goes home. Tim doesn’t ask her about the phone calls (even though she knows he wants to). And things are shaky with them, he hurts his back and he has emergency surgery and she feels like her world is crumbling.
She can’t lose him.
But having him in front of her and visible makes it real that he’s okay. And because of that.. the nightmares don’t come back until they do.
***
Lucy gets her first nightmare again after their fight on Valentine’s Day. And it’s silly really because Tim is in bed with her. He’s literally living and breathing besides her and she still has the nightmare.
Lucy is once again in the hallway watching Tim walk away except it’s different this time because he doesn’t forgive her for the five player trade. He walks away again and again. And then she finds herself in his office. And he’s slumped over in his chair, bleeding and it’s too late. She can’t do anything.
She wakes suddenly to someone shaking her, whispering her name desperately trying to get her out of the thrones of her nightmare.
“Luce.” It’s Tim and he’s shaking her gently now. She opens her eyes blearily and sees him looking down with nothing but concern in his face. She pulls him down, desperate to feel his lips on hers so she knows this is real.. he didn’t leave her.
“Lucy.” Tim says pulling back but cupping her face. “Baby, what’s the matter?” She blinks at him. The nightmare. He left and then he was gone forever.
She swallows and looks away from him, but he pulls her right back to him. “Lucy, what happened?” He asks and he has the same tone he did when she called him at UC school.
She couldn’t avoid him now, he was in her bed. And while he wouldn’t push her, she knew he just wanted help. “I uh had a nightmare.” She says. “About you.”
Tim makes a soft noise and then tucks her into his side. “What was it about?” He asks. She sighs and blows out a breath.
“You left me in the hallway and then I was in your office and you had.. bled to death.” She says and she buries her face into his bare chest. She hears Tim sigh and he lifts her face up.
“Is this because of our fight?” He asks. She bites her lip and nods.
“You didn’t forgive me.” She says. “And you bleeding to death that—” She looks at him and he looks concerned.
“I had this dream before but it was.. after you told me to move on. And you were bleeding out in my apartment like—”
“Chris.” He finishes. “Oh Lucy.” He leans forward and gives her a soft kiss. There is silence and it’s nice but Tim breaks it and there’s a slight crack in his voice when he does.
“When you kept calling me—” He starts and she stiffens but he rubs her arm. “Where you having nightmares?”
“Yes.” She says quietly. “I didn’t know how to—” Tim leans forward this time and kisses her.
“I’m sorry Lucy. I had no idea how.. much that affected you.”
“I didn’t have them much when I came back. After Rosalind died.. they tapered off. I knew you were safe. I just needed to know you were safe.”
“Baby, I’m so sorry and I’m sure how to make this up to you.” He says softly tucking some hair behind her ear. “And I was upset about the metro thing but I know you did it because you care and you didn’t want to see me miserable and I l—appreciate that.” He falters over his words but Lucy gets it.
“It’s true.” She says. “I didn’t want you to resent me because you took a desk job and gave up something you love.”
“You matter more Lucy. More than anything okay?” Tim says. “I would have stayed at that desk job no problem.”
“I appreciate it Tim.” She says running her hand through his hair. “But I would rather see you happy.”
“You make me happy.” He says softly against her lips. “And I don’t think I could ever leave you even if I tried. I’m happy and we are going to have our arguments but that doesn’t mean I want to give up. You are worth it, all the arguments and fights. Everything. You are everything.”
Lucy smiles and kisses him again and then pulls back to see Tim has a smirk on his face.
“What?”
“Well we had an argument and we both know we are good at that..” He trails off and Lucy knows where he is going.
“You aren’t tired from before?” She questions. He rolls over so he’s hovering over her.
“Nope. Do you still have some fuel left in you?” He asks and she rolls her eyes at him. He grins at her some more and swoops down to kiss her and when she falls back to sleep tonight she knows only good dreams await her.