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Time passed.
The team was back together, united under one roof. Not all together, of course. They were still two people– and an arm and a half short– of “all together”. But at least everyone else was visibly intact.
Of course, only visibly. Words couldn’t begin to describe the kind of mental and emotional turmoil behind the eyes of each team member.
Sofia staying up late into the night was normal, but now she refused to eat or take a break from her projects. Lamar was quieter. He didn’t make nearly as many jokes as he used to, and the jokes he did make often fell flat. Masa of course spent his nights out on the roof of the hideout, staring up at the moon in complete silence. And when he did speak, he would just mutter about missed chances and agonizing guilt.
Belle hadn’t touched Ultra Jump Mania. In fact, she hadn’t touched a single game on the shelf. Everything from her voice to her hair seemed to lose its brilliant fire.
But, despite the fact Lucinia had sustained several physical injuries– everything from burn scars to starvation– she was the most “normal” out of everyone.
But “normal” just didn’t feel normal anymore.
“Normal” had become dizzy spells, violent coughing fits, and waking up in the middle of the night gasping for air but never taking in a full breath. She couldn’t climb a single flight of stairs without getting lightheaded. Her meals were getting fewer and farther between, and the food she did eat didn’t seem to add any weight to her figure.
“Here, do you want a few of these potstickers…? I’m not real hungry anymore,” Belle murmured, interrupting Lucinia’s dissociative lapse.
“No, I’m… I’m good.”
She was onto her. Belle of course was trying to trick her into putting more food down. And now, Lucinia was beginning to realize it.
The rest of the team sat around the table in silence. Each sound made Lucinia more and more uncomfortable.
The clink of Lamar’s chopsticks against the edge of a bowl.
The ambient whirring of Sofia’s laptop, and the occasional tap tap tap of her hands flying over the keys.
Masa cleared his throat.
Then, Belle set the bowl of potstickers back down.
And then, more silence.
“You haven’t eaten anything, Sensei,” Belle murmured, looking Lucinia in the eyes.
“Yes, I have. I had… coffee this morning, and then… a bagel for lunch. I ate food.”
One by one, Sofia, Lamar, and Masa all left the table, trudging back into their respective rooms. Lucinia ducked her head, realizing Belle’s gaze hadn’t strayed.
“You know I’m just trying to take care of you… right?” the phoenix murmured. “Like how you used to take care of me… back before all this happened…?”
Lucinia bit her lip.
“And it’s not just about your eating habits,” Belle continued. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”
Lucinia’s eyes fell closed.
“N-noticed what?”
“Don’t play dumb with me. The way you struggle when you’re trying to breathe, Luce.” Belle’s voice lacked any evidence of an accusatory tone. “And all the coughing and the wheezing, it… it’s scaring me, babe.”
Lucinia didn’t look up.
“Look, I know you don’t like it when I call you out like this,” Belle murmured. “But listen. All I’m saying here is… there’s something seriously wrong with you, and I can see that, but you keep lying to me about it. I’m tired of you pretending that nothing’s wrong .” She paused, voice breaking. “Because the last time I turned a blind eye… all of… this… happened.”
Lucinia chewed her lip again, then hesitantly, she nodded.
Belle sighed through her nose. That was rare. Usually, Lucinia would give some kind of defense.
“Luce…” she breathed. “Please… don’t let me make the same mistake twice.”
“You won’t,” Lucinia muttered, shaking her head. “It’s just allergies. It’ll get better once the weather gets normal.”
“Yeah, I’m calling bullshit on that. You never had those before.”
“I was living at TAS Corp, the… the air in there was different.”
Belle scowled at that, shaking her head. “No. Bullshit. We’re taking you somewhere and getting you help.”
Lucinia stood up from her chair, gripping the edge of the bar counter.
“No we’re not.”
“Don’t try and argue with me about this.” Belle stood and pointed a warning finger at her. “I get that you’re stubborn. Only problem is… so am I.”
Lucinia took a few slow steps in the other direction, head down and arms folded. “Can we just save it for another time? L-like… maybe tomorrow?”
Belle let her arm drop to her side.
“Okay, sure, whatever. I get that you’re probably tired and all, I… I get it. Just… please don’t push me away.”
Lucinia didn’t look back at her, but she nodded.
“I’m gonna get ready for bed.”
“Uh… I’ll join you in a minute,” Belle called after her, trying to smile.
Silence fell over the MD-5 hideout, yet again. Even the traffic outside seemed to be eerily mute at this time of night. Sofia had moved into Tari’s old room, Masa and Lamar each had their own, and Belle was sitting up in the bedroom reserved for her and Lucinia. She’d dimmed the mood lights to a soft, magenta hue; she knew Lucinia loved it, and she wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible.
It was about 22:00 now. If anyone was still awake, they were being awfully quiet.
Belle shifted her position under the heavy covers, laying on her back with her arms crossed behind her head. The warmth of the blankets and the dim, cool atmosphere of the room began to weaken her.
She hung in a balance of sleep and wakefulness, and she had no idea how long she floated there– but then she snapped awake at the sound of something crashing to the floor.
Adrenaline surged through the Meta Runner’s body, and she bolted upright, immediately aware.
She drew back the covers and slipped out of bed, opening the door and venturing out into the darkened hideout.
“Oi,” she called out tentatively, poking her head around the corner to look at the bathroom door. It sounded like the crash came from there.
The light was still on.
Belle furrowed her brow, then gently rapped on the door with her first two knuckles.
“Hey, who’s in here?”
No response. She knocked again, a bit louder this time around, and yet again, she was met with silence. The hair on the back of her neck stood up, a cold sense of dread pooling in her stomach.
Acting on instinct, she opened the door, and felt her heart leap into her throat when something on the floor stopped it mid-swing.
Her eyes darted to the obstruction and cried out in alarm once she realized the door had been halted by Lucinia’s motionless body.
She muttered curses under her breath and held back tears as she wrapped her arms around the violet-haired Meta Runner, pressing her first two fingers against Lucinia’s neck to make sure she still had a pulse.
She lowered her ear to Lucinia’s chest next, to make sure she was breathing.
It was hard to hear over her own panicked gasping. Sure, it was shallow, but it was there. Breathing a sigh of relief, she lifted Lucinia off the floor, then carried her bridal-style back into the bedroom.
“You never tell me anything; you never… y-you never admit when you’re in pain, I swear to god–” Belle choked out, teeth gritted. “I swear to god, I’m never gonna forgive myself for this.”
She lowered Lucinia down and laid her flat on her back, still gripping Lucinia’s hand. “Okay, come on, speak to me…” she whispered. “Come on, don’t do this to me…”
I don’t know what to do. She’s still breathing, she’s still got a pulse, but what the hell do I do? Goddammit, get yourself together!
Just before she called out to Sofia for help, Lucinia took in a ragged breath and gripped the blankets beneath her.
Belle wasn’t the type to be soft, but as soon as Lucinia’s life was apparently in danger, the tough exterior came right off.
“Shhh-sh-sh-shh– hey– what’s happening?” she asked in a hushed tone, eyes still wide with worry.
Lucinia’s eyes snapped open.
“I-I don’t– I don’t know–” she whispered, voice hoarse.
Belle glanced over her shoulder at the humidifier on the desk, and then the water bottle right beside it.
“Just hang in there, Luce, I’ve got you.”
“W-where are you–”
“Just right across the room, gimme a sec.” Belle jumped up from the side of the bed, darting over to the desk and turning on the humidifier. She snatched the water bottle and set it down beside her, taking Lucinia’s hand again. “Okay, do you think you can try just– one breath? Just one deep breath in for me?”
Lucinia gritted her teeth, tears of sheer panic rolling down her face. She wanted to, sure, but she just couldn’t.
Belle muttered a curse under her breath. “Okay, just squeeze my hand then. Don’t worry, I can take it.”
Lucinia gripped Belle’s hand in response, as if it would save her life.
Several moments passed. The silence was broken only by the sound of pathetic, wheezing gasps.
Each labored inhale seemed to do nothing for Lucinia’s condition. Sweat broke out on the Meta Runner’s forehead, and Belle did her best to wipe it away with the corner of the blanket.
“Shhhh, you’re doin’ great, Luce,” she murmured, voice breaking. “We’re getting there, just… just hang in there…”
Lucinia’s grip became weaker and weaker.
"Come on, don't give up now," Belle choked out, voice breaking. "I'm right here, I'm gonna... I-I'm gonna help you. Please, I can't lose you… I can’t… I can’t fail again…”
Lucinia struggled for what felt like an hour, clawing at the blankets and whimpering through the terror of suffocation.
Then, when it seemed as if she’d completely given up, she squeezed Belle’s hand again. Belle snapped to attention, looking up at her with bloodshot eyes.
“...A-are you okay…?” she choked out, wiping the tears off her face with her free hand.
Lucinia swallowed, and almost nodded– but then she shook her head “no”.
“Are you breathing better, though?” Belle asked, to which Lucinia nodded.
“...Water…” Lucinia rasped, eyes falling closed again.
“Oh, shit– right–” Belle muttered, and opened the thermos to give her a drink. She reached one hand under the back of Lucinia’s head and carefully tipped the water bottle, so she could drink out of it.
After setting the thermos to the side, she gazed down at the raven with worried eyes.
“What the hell happened?”
Lucinia hesitated, then closed her eyes, sighing through her nose.
“...I-I fell.”
“Yeah, no shit. I meant before that,” Belle grumbled, her protective nature showing through.
“...I-I don’t… really remember,” Lucinia admitted. “A-all I remember is… washing my face, then… stretching a little bit, and then… n-next thing I know I’m here, writhing around and… gasping like a fish out of water.”
Belle went silent, processing the statement. She bit her lip, then shut her eyes and bowed her head.
“So you passed out?”
Lucinia’s lower lip trembled. “...I hope so.”
Belle pulled herself up onto the edge of the bed, then slowly brought Lucinia into a tender hug.
“Please don’t… ever keep quiet about this sort of thing… okay?” she breathed, holding back tears. “I-I thought… I thought I was gonna lose you…”
Lucinia hugged her back– or at least the best she could do with one arm, burying her face into the warmth of Belle’s chest.
“...I’m sorry.”
No sooner than Lucinia uttered the words, Belle burst into tears, clutching at Lucinia’s back and weaving her flesh-and-blood fingers into Lucinia’s damp, lavender hair.
They stayed like that for a solid few minutes: Belle a weeping mess, clinging to what was left of the raven, and Lucinia tucking herself into the hug, trying to comfort her.
Then, finally, when she could manage words, Belle sniffed, “Please let me call you an ambo or something.”
“Belle, I’m not… I’m not wheezing anymore, I’m okay now–”
“Like hell you are! I just saw you collapse and almost suffocate to death. I am not letting you go on living like nothing’s wrong!” Belle hissed, pulling back and cupping Lucinia’s face with one hand.
Lucinia could see the terror in her eyes– feel it in the way Belle grasped at her hair. She couldn’t argue her way out of this one. Not anymore.
She breathed a soft, defeated sigh, then hugged the phoenix with all the strength she had left– which wasn’t much, of course.
“...I’ll go.”
Belle nodded, then hugged her back, whispering a weak “Okay.” She pulled up the phone on her arm’s holographic display and dialed the non-emergency hospital line, then cradled Lucinia protectively with her free arm.
As the dial tone sounded, she glanced down at the raven, realizing all over again how it felt to lose her.
Never again, she vowed silently, planting a gentle kiss on the crown of Lucinia’s head.
Never again.