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Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

Summary:

Regina Mills is not a competitive person, she's lived long enough to know pride can be a person's undoing. Still someone has to make sure Emma's ego stays in check.

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It was finally Friday. All her paperwork was done, there was no magical forces threatening the town, and tonight was Snow's turn to make famiIy dinner, so all she had to do was show up with her part of the Charming clan. As she gathered her belongings to leave, the door to her office swung open and the two loves of her life walked in laughing.

Henry walked up and hugged her, "Mom you'll never believe what Ma did."

Regina smiled, "What kind of shenanigans did she get into now?"

"Ma beat Coach Henderson in a wrestling match infront of the entire team!"

Emma shrugged, "Just wanted to show him some new moves for the next meet."

Regina raised an eyebrow, "So that has nothing to do with him hitting on me at Granny's last week?"

"I have no idea what you're taking about. Now lets go before my mom thinks we were kidnapped by trolls and calls another emergency search party."


After dinner, Regina found herself sitting next to Snow on the couch, holding Neal as Emma, Henry, and David battled it out in Mario Kart.

"Hell yeah!" Emma thrust her fist in the air as she knocked Henry off the course and crossed the finish line, " first place again suckers."

Henry rolled his eyes and David huffed in frustration. Emma always got over excited during Mario Kart. Actually, she got over excited in any competition, no matter how insignificant it was. Usually some entity was trying to destroy the town, so there was no time for idle competition, but in this peaceful time, Emma's competitve streak came out. While it was endearing at first, Regina, and every other person Emma tried to beat at something, grew tired of the blonde's ego and now was the perfect time to knock Emma down a notch.

"You know, that game doesn't look too hard."

Emma paused mid victory dance, "Not that hard? I'd like to see you try and do what i just did."

Handing Neal over to Snow and taking the controller from Henry, Regina sat down in front of the couch, "Alright then, lets go Savior."

Emma plopped down and smirked, "Show me what you got Queenie."

Two minutes later, Emma threw her contoller down and crossed her arms, "That was beginners luck."

Regina smiled, "Better luck next time dear."


The next day, after spending all morning in their pajamas, the Swan-Mills clan found themselves sitting in a booth at Granny's waiting for their food. Emma and Henry were currently entertaining themselves by trying to see who could blow the biggest bubble with their gum.

"Haha nice one kid, but check this out," Emma took a breath before blowing a bubble twice the size of Henry's last one, "Booya! In your face."

Regina took a sip of her drink, "You really enjoy excelling in the mundane dear."

"If its so easy," Emma pushed the pack of gum towards her girlfriend, "why don't you give it a shot?"

Keeping her eyes locked on Emma, Regina put a piece of gum in her mouth and blew a bubble that dwarfed Emma's.

"Your turn darling."

Emma would not lose to Regina twice in a row. She chewed her gum and blew and just when she was sure she was going to win, Pop.

"Sorry, for the wait guys," Ruby paused as she looked at the table, "what happened to your face Emma?"


"Its no problem at all, I'd be happy to help."

Emma walked into the kitchen hearing the last part of Reginas's conversation. Wrapping her arms around her girlfriend from behind, Emma kissed her neck and asked, "Who was that?"

Regina sank into her arms, "Oh just your mother. She asked me to bake a cake for Neal's party next week."

Emma released the brunette and frowned, "I asked her earlier today if she needed help with anything and she told me no."

"Thats probably because you'd burn down the kitchen before making anything edible."

Emma gasped, "I would not."

"Do you not remember the time you tried to make your parents an anniversary dinner. No one wants to end up in the E.R. again."

"First of all," Emma huffed, "I'm pretty sure that guy sold me spolied fish, and second baking is different from cooking. I can totally make a kick-ass cake for my baby bro."

Regina smiled and patted Emma on the head, "I'm sure you can darling, but for this occasion I think it'd be best if I just did it, don't you?"

"Yeah whatever," Emma rolled her eyes and walked away.


"Go ahead and go inside Henry, I'll poof up in a minute."

"Ok," Henry nodded and disapeared inside the building.

Carefully balancing the train shaped cake and wrapped gift, Regina gave a wave of her hand and found herself in the middle of the Charming's living room.

"Regina," a relieved looking Snow walked up, "thank goodness you're here. Emma is about to destroy my kitchen and I need you to stop her."

Taking the gift and cake from her, Snow sent Regina to the kitchen with bump to the hip. One look at Emma and Regina burst out laughing. The blonde was covered in flour and various colores of frosting, the floor was littered with broken eggs and an empty cake mix box.

Emma look up with murder in her eyes, "Do not say a word."

Before she could give a give a proper response, a timer went off and Emma pulled a pan put of the oven.

"Don't you think two cakes is a little much? You are aware I already made one right?"

Emma gave a cold look, "Yes I am aware, but there is nothing wrong with a little variety. Besides Neal can pick which one is his favorite." 

Thirty minutes later, Neal did pick his favorite, which had Emma sulking and calling him a traitor under her breath.


Days like this were Regina's favorites. Just her, Emma, and Henry spending time together. Moments like these made her so grateful to have been given a second chance. It was Henry's turn to pick their family activity and, on a childish whim, he had decided he wanted a trampoline for the day.

"Whoo, beat that Ma."

"Ha easy kid, check this out!"

Emma and Henry's voices reached her as she walked out the back door. Seeing the glasses of lemonade in her hands, Henry jump of the trampoline and ran to her.

"Hey Gina!" Emma yelled still jumping, "why don't you bring that sexy behind over here and let me teach you something new."

Regina smiled and sauntered over to the blonde, "Well if you insist my dear."

Henry grimaced, "Eww guys, I did not need to hear that."

Regina laughed as she climbed up next to Emma. She began bouncing softly, but found that the closer she got to Emma's height, the higher her girlfriend jumped.

Emma was determined to make sure she won this time around; there was no way the former queen was going to beat her at a childhood game.

Realizing what Emma was doing, Regina put more effort into her jumps. With each jump, both women tried to outdo the other as their amused son watched from the porch.

"Hey Ma!"

"Not now kid, I'm trying to concentrate."

"But Ma-"

"Not now!"

All of a sudden Emma's foot hit the edge of the trampoline and she found herself on the ground with a sore bottom.

"Oh my gosh, Emma!" Regina jumped down and helped the blonde stand up.

"That is it!"

Both Regina and Henry jumped at Emma's volume.

"You," Emma pointed at Regina, "have been beating me at everything lately."

Regina scoffed, "You have been acting like a pentualent child with all your little competitions."

"If I'm a child, what does that make you?"

"An adult attempting to make sure her girlfriend's head doesn't get too big!"

"Well if you're sooo great, prove it!"

Henry looked back and forth between his parents.

Regina raised an eyebrow, "What exactly do you mean by that?"

"I challenge you to a food eating contest," Emma smirked, "unless you don't think you can win."

Regina rolled her eyes, "Of course you would involve food. Fine I'll accept your challenge, but if I win no more of these petty competitions."

Emma smiled, "Deal."


Henry could not believe this. His mothers, the very people in charge of making sure he was a responsible young adult, were currently sitting on opposite sides of the dining room table with plates piled high with oysters. Both women despised the food, which was why he had picked oysters for their challenge.

Regina kept a mask of calm on her face. Behind her Snow stood with Neal ready to cheer her on. Across from her, Charming stood behind Emma, rubbing her shoulders like she was about to step into a boxing ring.

"How ya feeling Queenie? Ready to back out?"

"Ha, in your dreams Savior."

Henry looked at his mothers, "You have one minute to open and eat as many oysters as you can. Puking or failing to complete the challenge will result in a forfeit and the other mom winning. Are you ready?"

Regina and Emma locked eyes and nodded at the same time.

"Ready, set, go!"

"Lets go Regina!"

"Come on Emma, she's got nothing on you!"

The blonde and brunette shucked and swallowed as fast as they could. With every oyster eaten came a gagging sound that pretty muched blocked out all the noise around them.

"Crush her Regina!"

"Snow!"

"Grandma!"

Snow looked sheepish, "Sorry its very exciting."

Henry looked at the stopwatch, "Ten seconds left."

Out of the corner of her eye, Regina saw Emma get up from the table. Right as the stopwatch went off, Regina opened her last oyster. Inside, instead of finding a slimey mollusk, Regina found a beautiful diamond ring. Looking up, she saw the smiling faces of Charming, Snow, and Henry, and Emma down on one knee.

"I love you so much. You've always seen the best in me, even when I didn't. Being with you has been the greatest gift in my life. I would do anything to be able to wake up next to you for the rest of my life. Regina Mills, will you marry me?"

With tears in her eyes, Regina threw her arms around Emma's neck and kissed her.

"Yes! Of course I'll marry you!"

Henry and the Charmings cheered and gathered in for a group hug.

"So," Emma smiled and slid the ring on her finger, "I win this round right?"

"Just this once my love."

Emma shrugged and grinned "I guess I can live with that."