Chapter Text
In the dim corner of the bar, under the fractured glow of neon lights, a golden-haired girl in a hoodie curled into the shadows.
The sunglasses she’d used as a disguise lay discarded beside an empty wine bottle. Utau Hoshina tilted her head back, draining the last of the red wine in her glass. Her trembling hand nearly toppled the stemware as she set it down, but she caught the base just in time, averting disaster.
She felt dizzy—but not enough. The image of that blue-haired figure remained stubbornly lodged in her mind. She wanted to forget, to sleep, to escape, even briefly, the shackles of a love that had tormented her for years yet left her with nothing. The pain clung to her like a shadow. When sober, it was a knife plunging into her heart over and over, agony seeping into her bones.
Should she order more? But would it interfere with tomorrow’s schedule? Ah… Sanjo-san would scold her to death if she found out. Utau could already guess what she’d say—years of working together had made that much clear. Sanjo’s heart was an open book to her.
But she was just so tired. After nights of sleeplessness, Utau needed respite from the anguish, even if it meant drowning herself like this.
She’d finished an entire bottle, yet it wasn’t enough. Her reflexes were still sharp enough to steady the glass. A bitter smile tugged at her lips. This was her first time drinking—fitting, for someone as stubborn as her.
Maybe one more bottle, she hesitated.
[Kaito-nii-chan!!! Shuimizu sent me to drag you home, not to join your drinking—!] The bar door swung open as a rowdy group of boys tumbled inside, shoving each other.
[Hah—? The hell you yappin’ about? Weren’t you the brat who’d yell, ‘I’m a man too, lemme drink!’ every time you saw us with a bottle? Why’re you acting shy now?]
The eldest Sōma brother—Kaito Sōma—drunk but exuberant, had his younger sibling locked in a headlock, dragging him further inside.
[Unkai! Rento! You’re just gonna stand there and watch?!] Trapped under his brother’s arm, Kuukai Sōma flailed uselessly at his smirking third and fourth brothers. [Ugh, what kind of adults are you…?]
Forced into a chair, Kuukai’s gaze suddenly caught a familiar figure in the corner. [Huh?]
Utau gripped the table, unsteady as she rose—then stumbled, colliding with someone nearby.
[…Utau?] A familiar voice. She lifted her head, violet eyes struggling to focus in the dim light.
[…Kuukai?]
[What’re you doing here?] His eyes widened.
[None… of your business…] She tried to step past him but swayed again.
A strong arm hooked around her shoulders. Catching the scent of alcohol, Kuukai’s expression darkened. [I’m taking you home.]
[Don’t—] He crouched, hauling her onto his back before she could protest. Her limbs felt leaden.
The bar door shut behind them, leaving the three Sōma brothers gaping.
[Seriously… A girl out this late alone isn’t safe.]
[Did something happen?]
[If you wanna talk, I’m here.]
Cold fingers pressed against his lips, silencing him. Only then did he hear her ragged breathing.
Alarmed, Kuukai hurried to a nearby bench, carefully setting her down and retucking his jacket around her.
[You okay?] He nudged her hood back slightly. Moonlight cast her face in pallid relief.
[…Gonna be sick.] The jostling ride on his back had churned her stomach past its limit. Shoving him away, Utau twisted aside and retched.
[Cough—!] Tears welled as she gasped for air. She’d never wanted Kuukai to see her like this.
[Hey, hey—!] Flustered, he rubbed her back until the spasms eased. Fishing out the water he’d brought for Kaito, he offered it to her.
Utau took it silently, still turned away.
Patting his pockets fruitlessly for tissues, Kuukai hesitated.
[…Better now?]
A slow nod. Clenching his sleeve, he crouched and gently wiped her mouth.
[No tissues, sorry. Gotta improvise.] Her wide-eyed stare made him shrug. The usually fierce girl looked so fragile tonight—sacrificing his sleeve was worth it. Except… wait. Was that a pack of tissues in her other hand?
[Huh—?!]
[I had them… Why’d you—?] Dazed, Utau shoved a wad into his hand, then scrubbed at his sleeve.
[Idiot. Always doing unnecessary things.] She turned away, hiding her face.
[Ouch…] But her sharper tone reassured him.
[Rest a bit longer?]
She nodded weakly, leaning back.
Silence settled between them.
[…Was it Ikuto?] He knew. The only crack in Utau’s armor was her brother—the blue-haired man she loved too deeply.
She didn’t answer.
Kuukai sighed inwardly.
[…I want to go home.]
[You sure?]
[Work tomorrow.]
[Like this?!]
[Sanjo-san scheduled it.]
[Lemme call her—]
[Don’t. She’ll nag.] A coughing fit cut her off as wind gusted past.
[C’mon, let’s get you home.] He bundled her tighter, hailed a cab, and slid in beside her.
Thankfully, her apartment wasn’t far. Kuukai patted his near-empty pockets—looks like he’d be walking home.
Tucking the blankets around her, he stood—only for Utau to clutch his sleeve.
[Stay…]
Tears trailed down her cheeks. In all their years, he’d never seen her cry.
[Ikuto… don’t go…]
After a pause, Kuukai sat back down, clasping her cold hand.
[I’m not going. I’m here.]
酒吧昏暗的角落，破碎的霓虹灯下的阴影里，蜷缩着穿着兜帽卫衣的金发少女。
桌上掩人耳目用的墨镜被随意丢在空酒瓶旁，月咏歌呗仰头将杯底的红酒一饮而尽，放下高脚杯的手有些颤抖，连带着高脚杯晃了一下，她抬手按住了晃动的杯底，避免了酒杯不小心粉身碎骨的事故。
似乎是有些晕乎了，她想，但是好像还不够。脑子里那抹蓝色的身影依旧死死钉在她脑海里。想要忘记，想要睡着，想暂时逃离这份挣扎多年却空空如也的感情的桎梏。这份痛苦依旧如影随形，她若清醒着，便是一下一下往她心脏狠扎的尖刀，痛入骨髓。
是不是还应该再加点酒呢……？但是会不会影响明天的行程？啊……要是被三条小姐知道的话一定会被唠叨死的。她甚至都能猜到她想说什么，这么多年的合作已经有这份默契，三条小姐的心她知晓得一清二楚。
只是真的真的太累了，已经失眠了几天，月咏歌呗需要暂时将自己从这份苦楚中抽离出来，即使是用这种仿佛自暴自弃的方法。
已经喝完了整整一瓶葡萄酒，但是她觉得还不够，自己的精神力还足以自己及时扶住差点打翻的酒杯。月咏歌呗暗自苦笑，这是人生中第一次接触酒精，作为一个不服输的人，战斗力确实与她自己相称。
要不再来一瓶吧，月咏歌呗踌躇着决定。
[海童大哥！！！我可是秀水哥叫来催你早点回家的耶！！不是让你拉我一起喝酒的——]酒吧门被打开，几个闹哄哄的男生推搡着走了进来。
[啊——？你小子在说什么屁话——你小时候看哥哥们喝酒的时候可是一口一句我可是男子汉了我也要喝……怎么长大了还开始扭捏了？]
人高马大的相马家长男——相马孩童，醉醺醺但兴致勃勃地想要开启下一趴，正强行扣着自家吱哇乱叫的小弟往门里拖。
[云海哥，莲斗哥！你们就这么站着看他闹腾吗——]被强行锁在自家大哥胳肢窝下的相马空海看着身边兴致盎然看戏的三哥和四哥，但无法逃离酒醉的大哥的蛮力，只能对着空气张牙舞爪。
[都是什么不靠谱的大人啊……]相马空海被大哥硬生生地拖到桌子边按在椅子上，眼角突然瞥到角落里一个似乎熟悉的身影。[咦？]
月咏歌呗扶着桌子缓缓站起，不小心一个趔趄，撞上了一旁站着的人。
[……歌呗？]一个熟悉的声音响起。歌呗抬起头，迷蒙的紫眸努力了一会，才从昏暗的灯光下看清了面前人的身影。
[……空海？]
[你怎么在这种地方……？]相马空海瞪大了眼睛。
[小屁孩……别管我……]空呗试图绕过空海，身体却又不受控制地晃动了一下。
一只有力的手臂及时地箍住了月咏歌呗的肩膀。嗅到她身上的酒味，空海的眼神暗了一下。[走，我送你回家。]
[别管我……你……]空海直接蹲下背起歌呗就走，歌呗想要挣扎，才发现自己的身体比想象的要无力。
酒吧的大门关上，留下三位目瞪口呆的相马家的三位哥哥。
[真是的……这么晚在外面，女孩子一个人真的太不安全了……]
[我说你啊，发生了什么事吗。]
[你愿意的话，我很乐意和你聊聊唷……]
背上的女孩抬起手，冰冷的手指覆上空海喋喋不休的嘴。空海才听见她难受的喘气声。
空海连忙走到路边的长椅边，小心地放下歌呗，再次将披在她背上的外套小心地盖好。
[你不舒服吗？]空海稍稍拉下歌呗兜帽的下沿，清冷的月光照着歌呗的轮廓显得格外苍白。
[嗯……有点……想吐……呃……]在空海背上一路颠簸，歌呗觉得越来越晕乎，腹腔被挤压的不适感终于到了临界点。歌呗一把推开空海，扭过头呕吐起来。
[咳咳咳——]歌呗艰难地呼气，眼泪不争气地充满眼眶。她没想过今天会在相马空海前表现得如此狼狈。
[啊喂喂你没事吧……]空海瞬间有点慌张，帮忙顺着女孩的背，试图让她舒缓一些。等歌呗平缓了一些，空海拧开原本为相马海童准备的冰水，递到歌呗手边。
歌呗依旧低着头背对着他，沉默地接过了水。
空海左摸右找地掏遍了自己身上的口袋，无奈地发现自己确实没有带纸巾。踌躇了一会，空海开口。
[歌呗……好点了吗？]
见少女依旧沉默，但缓缓点了点头。空海握紧拳，攥着自己的袖子蹲下，轻轻地给歌呗擦拭嘴唇。
[没办法啦，我没带纸巾，要麻烦你将就一下……]看着少女陷入震惊的紫色瞳眸，空海耸耸肩，没办法，毕竟往日里女孩硬派的作风对比下今晚的她实在是楚楚可怜，为此牺牲一下自己的衣服也……欸？空海突然瞥见女孩另一侧微微举起的手上，拿着的，好像是，一包，纸巾……
[欸——！]
[我自己有纸巾啊……你突然……]歌呗也一阵发懵，反应过来后赶紧抽出了几张干净的纸巾塞在空海手里。空海感觉到女孩的手拿着纸巾在自己的袖口用力擦了一下。
[真的是笨蛋，尽爱干多余的事……]歌呗扭过头，不想让空海看到自己的表情。
[欸……怎么这样……]虽然回答是苦哈哈的，但是空海从歌呗略微拔高的音量里感觉到她确实好了一些。悬吊着的心总算是松了一些。
[好点了吗？要不要休息会再走？]
歌呗闭着眼靠在椅背上微微点头。
……两人之间陷入沉默。
[……是因为几斗吗？]犹豫了一会，空海还是问出口。他知道，要强的月咏歌呗，唯一的弱点便是那个蓝发男子。月咏几斗，她的哥哥，她热烈爱恋着的人。
……沉默许久，歌呗依旧闭着眼没有回答。
空海在心里暗暗地叹了口气。
[……我想回家了。]
[欸？你可以了吗？]
[嗯……明天还有工作……]
[啊都这样了还？]
[得工作啊……三条小姐安排好了……]
[你都这样了……不然我和三条小姐说一声——]
[别说……她又会唠叨的，咳咳——]突然起的一阵风又让歌呗咳嗽了起来。
[啊不行……我先赶紧送你回家休息。]空海拉紧了歌呗披着的外套，为她带好了兜帽和墨镜，拦了一辆出租车。
好在歌呗住的公寓离上车点并不远，空海庆幸着自己还好带够了车费。不过……空海摸了摸自己口袋里仅剩的几枚硬币，搞不好今天连地铁都没得坐得走路回家了……
再次给歌呗掖紧被子，空海站起身。歌呗却突然伸手拉住了他的衣角。
[别走……]
空海扭头，惊讶地发现歌呗像在梦呓，泪珠一颗接一颗从闭着的眼角缓缓滚落。这应该是他印象中，金发女孩第一次在自己面前流泪。
[几斗……别走……]
空海沉思了一下，重新在歌呗床边坐下，回握住歌呗冰凉的手。
[我不走，我在。]