Work Text:
Ichigo’s pov
“Have you eaten today?”, he asked me over the phone, making me roll his eyes. It was a normal question in everyday life I suppose. Loved ones and friends asked one another this question all the time. One would assume he was just being a thoughtful significant other towards me.
“Yeah, before class”, I sighed while setting my textbooks on the desk of my dorm room. “I grabbed a sandwich and a pudding cup from the cafeteria. I’m actually thinking of heading out for lunch though”.
“Way ahead of you, ginger. I’m heading your way. Got you something from that café downtown”. My stomach jumped a little. I still got butterflies whenever Grimmjow did something sweet and thoughtful. It’s not that he wasn’t good to me. It just doesn’t seem to be in his nature from the way he comes across, you know?
The only reason why he asks me that question is cause I’m in recovery.
“Why are you doing this to yourself son?”, my dad asked me with a hurt and exhausted expression. It pained me.
The weight of life was so heavy.
“Ichi-nii, you’re wasting away”, Yuzu cried as she hugged my thin frame, feeling my ribs poke at her. It stung me.
At least I could control that.
“I’m not gonna sit here and watch you starve yourself to death!”, Karin yelled as she got up and left the dinner table. It broke me.
At least I could control food.
No one knew how weak and helpless I felt after my mother’s death. It led me throwing himself into my karate classes and performed excellently at my tournaments. In high school I took up track and won every meet I ran in. I also took up swimming and excelled at that as well.
Tch. They called me Karakura High’s golden boy. I didn’t understand why everyone put me on a pedestal. Scrutinizing me non-stop. I wasn’t in control of anything in my life. I put my level best in everything I did so that I could be smarter, faster, and stronger. For my family. For their protection. So that they never had to go through that kind of loss again.
“I bet Ichigo’s gonna beat the record!”, Orihime exclaimed.
“Oh my God, did you hear? Our golden goose got into all the good universities”, Renji told anyone that would listen to his ramblings.
And then it hit me on the early days of summer, during my mother’s death anniversary. I couldn’t control what people spewed about me nor how I felt, but I could control food. It’s the only thing I felt I had control over and once I realized that I grabbed the bull by the horns and went for it. I started small. Not finishing one fifth of my meals. Then it moved on to cutting out chocolate, my favourite snack. That one stung a little, but at least I had a say in it. I started sharing my meals whenever my friends and I had food outings. It all just added up, and before I knew it, I was barely eating. Some days I wouldn’t eat at all. The thing was that I did it so gradually that I managed to go unnoticed for so long. I just wanted some sense of control in my life, and it made me feel as though I had it in a sense.
However, there was no hiding it when my clothes began to somewhat hang off my body. I was always cold, having to dress in layers. I was frequently tired and dizzy. Not to forget that I always got sick with the flu. Gone was my healthy 145-pound fit frame. I’d managed to starve myself down to 110-pounds in a span of a year. It didn’t help that I was still extremely active while in the woes of my anorexia.
The wake-up call came when I blacked out in the pool at a swim meet. It was so strange. Being in the water at one moment, then opening my eyes to find nearly a dozen people tending to me frantically the next.
“I-I need help”. That’s what I told my dad after sitting in silence for a very long time after the incident. And that’s how I ended up going to therapy. And throughout all of this, Grimmjow was there.
He was there for me when my mother passed.
He was there whenever I was feeling down on myself.
He was there when I discovered I was gay.
He reciprocated my sentiment when I told him that I liked him since I was 15.
He was there when all this food obsession shit started.
He was even there for my therapy sessions, sitting through them with me.
Grimmjow was always there.
There was a knock at the door. I knew it was Grimm, so I didn’t say anything as he stepped in. “That was fast”, I said to him as he tossed the paper bag of takeout onto the desk. “I ordered it thirty minutes before your class ended”, he explained while sitting himself down onto the chair at the desk.
“How thoughtful of you”, I softly stated, deciding to sit myself onto his lap with my legs on either side of his hips, facing him. “Thank you”. I kissed his cheek. “So, do you have some time before you have to go back to work?”. Everything about this man stirred something inside of me. Twelve years of knowing this man, ten years of friendship, and two years of companionship. Still, after all this time I can’t explain it.
“Yeah”, he groaned as he let one of his hands slide down to my ass and he kneaded it through my jeans. “An extra half hour won’t hurt”, he smirked before connecting our lips. Before I knew it, he had me moaning into his mouth. Grimmjow’s an intoxicating individual. He does things to me. I can’t explain it, but nobody else needs to understand it.
I remember the day we met. It was summer vacation and little 7-year-old me was just happy to be out in the sun with my family. Mom was watching me, and my baby sisters splash in our blow-up kiddie pool when a moving truck pulled up right across the street.
“Oh, look honey. The new neighbours are here”, mom said with a smile to dad, who was just making his way outside.
As soon as a blonde-haired woman appeared next to the moving truck, my mom asked me if I’d like to go and meet them. Happy little me agreed and grabbed her hand. We left Karin and Yuzu with dad.
“Hi. I’m Misaki Kurosaki. This is my son, Ichigo”, mom beamed at our new neighbour.
“Hi, Misaki. Nice to meet you. I’m Geneviève Jaegerjaquez. I know it’s a mouthful, so don’t worry if you get it wrong right off the bat”. She spoke so fast and with exaggeration. I could tell from her accent that she wasn’t from here. Blonde long hair and blue eyes, accompanied by a beautiful face and almost pale skin.
Next to her stood a girl with long foam green hair and hazel doe eyes. She had a birthmark across her nose and a dusting of freckles on her cheeks. She gave me a toothy smile as she clutched at her mother’s arm. She was a bit shorter than me.
“Hi! I’m Nelliel and I’m 7 too! You wanna play, ITSYGO?!”. She stared up at me with hopeful eyes.
“My husband’s at work at the moment. The main reason why we uprooted to Japan honestly. But what about we stop by once he’s back? Then we can talk some more”, Geneviève spoke with a smile. And then she went silent for a second as if she had just remembered something important. Waving her arm at nothing at nothing she says, “Oh, Grimmjow, come and say hello to our neighbours. The boxes can wait”.
And that was the first time I laid eyes on him. I could tell he was older than me as he was much taller than me. He had this wild looking powder baby blue hair and these blue eyes that swirled. They weren’t ice blue like his mother’s. They had a depth to them, but they weren’t dark by any means. They reminded me of the ocean. His skin was sun kissed. One could tell he enjoyed his time in the sun.
“This is my son, Grimmjow. He’s 12 and will be attending Karakura middle school”. And from that day on, I just had this curiosity about him.
Grimmow had me moaning so wantonly. I wouldn’t be surprised if the students on my floor heard me through the walls.
“You’re literally telling everyone your ass is mine”, he groaned into my ear from behind as he thrusted into me over and over again. He had his calloused hands all over me and I loved it. Yes, I still felt somewhat self-conscious about my body. Still felt ashamed. Still felt guilty. I felt disgusting. And yet, he still wanted me.
“I like that”, he nearly growled before nipping at my earlobe. “I fucking like that a lot”. He spanked my ass so hard; I knew it would bruise. But I didn’t mind. I actually liked it, in all honesty. It made me feel wanted. It made me feel like I belonged somewhere. I belonged with him.
“Oh my G-God, Grimm~”, I moaned out loud as his hand stroked my wheeping length. It felt good. Grimmjow always made me feel good. His thrusts were becoming harsher and faster as he groaned into my neck. “Don’t stop~”, I told him, reaching a hand behind my neck so that I could put my fingers through his soft blue tresses.
“Fuck, Ichi”, was the only warning I got before he bit the crook of my neck. He groaned around my flesh as we both came. My mouth hung open in a silent moan as shivers travelled throughout my entire body. Grimmjow had me seeing white. I let my body fall onto the bed and his larger body followed suit. He was considerate enough to not fall onto me. We laid there, side by side, just staring at one another with sated gazes.
I love him so much. I don’t know what I did to deserve him. No matter how bad things got back then due to my eating habits. All the arguments and shouting matches I instigated simply because he’d offer me some food. Hiding myself away so that he didn’t have to see my sorry state. At one point he asked me if I didn’t want him anymore because we hadn’t had sex for nearly three months. I was too embarrassed to admit that I couldn’t get ‘it’ up. I left him lonely. Even now, I see the worry in his eyes if I skip a meal due to forgetfulness, and he remains patient with me. He puts up with so much of my crap, and I don’t know which deity I should thank for that.
“Okay”, he said while he stroked a thumb over my blushing cheek. “Now I’m gonna feed you… in the literal sense this time”. I couldn’t hold back my laughter as I swiped a hand at his chest playfully.
I swear sometimes Grimmjow can be a vulgar idiot, but he’s my vulgar idiot.