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Kurt was late.
Well, not late late, he still had ten minutes to find the classroom he was supposed to be in, but for his own liking he could very well have missed half the lecture already. Stupid class and stupid school. Couldn’t they have moved into a new building before Kurt started at NYADA? No, they had to wait a year and move the summer when Kurt wasn’t in town to make himself familiar with the new layout.
And now he was late because he couldn’t find his fucking classroom in time. He wished fervently that he’d taken the course last year, just like any freshman did. But he’d been lured in by another course that’d been held by a special guest lecturer from London and he wouldn’t have missed that for the world. So he compromised and, after talking to an advisor, pushed the required course back for a year.
The downside of this was that he didn’t know where to go now. Kurt shouldn’t have gone back to Ohio for the summer, he should’ve stayed and scouted out the new buildings so he wouldn’t flounder his way through his first week of classes. He felt like an idiot, and he hated that feeling.
He sighed and stopped on the staircase he’d just climbed. He was pretty sure that he’d been in the upper hallway already and the lecture hall wasn’t there. Fuck, what was he supposed to do now? Find the administrative offices and ask? Yeah, right. With his luck he wouldn’t find the administrative offices either.
A large group of students started descending the stairs at that point. They looked like they knew where they were going, which was more than Kurt could say for himself. Maybe one of them could help him out.
Tired of bumbling his way through the buildings, Kurt looked back down the stairs, biting his lip. Someone brushed by him and his arm shot out before he could help himself. “Excuse me?”
The young man stopped, turning around and looking up at Kurt. His hazel eyes were friendly but questioning and a small, inquiring smile played on his lips. Kurt couldn’t help but notice how damn attractive he looked in his black, short-sleeved shirt and grey pants, a messenger bag slung casually over one shoulder.
He pushed those thoughts aside quickly and smiled down at the young man. “I’m sorry, but I can’t find the classroom I’m supposed to be in for my next lecture.”
The young man’s brows furrowed, his hand - strong, slender, slightly tanned - gripping the strap of his bag to pull it higher. “Did you miss orientation last week?” he asked and, wow okay. That voice was fucking gorgeous.
Kurt shook his head. “I’m actually a sophomore, but I missed the course last year and we were still in the old buildings last semester.”
That earned him an understanding head nod and a smile. Kurt’s heartbeat picked up suddenly and his breath caught in his throat at the sight of that smile. Jesus, what the fuck?
“I’m a freshman,” the young man said. “What lecture are you heading to?”
“Introduction to Medieval Composition,” Kurt said, which earned him another blinding smile and what the hell, these things should come with a warning!
“I’m heading there right now myself, I can show you.” He held out his hand for Kurt, adding, “My name’s Blaine.”
“Kurt,” he replied, grasping the hand to shake it. A small flutter of something started up in his gut and Kurt smiled tentatively back at the other man - Blaine - before waving a hand. “Well, lead the way.”
Blaine turned, looking over his shoulder to make sure Kurt was following him, then started down a hallway behind the staircase that Kurt hadn’t even noticed.
“How come you haven’t taken the course last year?” Blaine asked, curiously looking at Kurt while they walked briskly down the hall.
Kurt shrugged. “There was a guest lecturer from London Theatre here and I switched the course for one from third year,” he explained. “It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and luckily, I was allowed to do it.”
“I probably would’ve done the same, given the chance,” Blaine said, smiling again. Kurt felt another flutter in his gut which he tried to ignore, but without much success. Blaine was nice and cute and pretty hot, and Kurt wasn’t sure if it was a good thing that he noticed all that, that he was interested.
He hadn’t exactly let anyone close to him in a long time.
They got to the lecture hall with two minutes to spare, and it was in unspoken agreement to sit together. The lecturer started his introduction of the course, talking about organizational stuff before going into the syllabus. Kurt still wasn’t sure why he was forced to take a course on medieval composition when his goal was to get a Bachelor’s degree in Musical Theater. It was probably just to annoy them.
“Have they ever clarified why musical theater majors need to take an introductory class in medieval composition?” Blaine asked under his breath, leaning slightly over to Kurt.
Kurt stared at him, thinking for a horrible second that Blaine could read minds. When Blaine turned his head and gave him this mix between puppy dog eyes and mischievous grin, Kurt knew he was a goner for this guy.
Leaning over as well, he whispered back, “It is my firm belief that the administration of this place tries to drive me insane, whether it be with ridiculous courses or moving into maze like buildings.”
Blaine’s blinding, amused grin hit Kurt in the gut like a freight train. He looked back to the front, trying to concentrate on the lecturer, but he remained hyper aware of the man next to him who had started taking notes. Who did that on administrative shit?
It became pretty clear about half an hour into the course that it wouldn’t be an easy credit and that the lecturer was a massive, self involved douchebag. Kurt could already see his GPA drop thanks to this dick and tried to think of anyone from his own year who’d taken the course and could help out. He realized pretty fast that he didn’t really have anyone he could ask. Most of the people he talked to in his year were casual acquaintances, people he sat next to in lectures so he wouldn’t sit alone. Maybe Henry or Jacob would be willing to lend him their notes, but really, those two couldn’t exactly be classified as go-to guys for academic pursuits.
Kurt bit down on a groan and, just like Blaine, started taking meticulous notes on what the lecturer expected them to be capable of by the end of the semester.
When he let them out, Kurt remained seated and started packing up his stuff slowly, already worrying about how much time and energy the course would take just to pass it.
“Hey, you okay?” Blaine asked above him, startling Kurt out of his musings.
He looked up and into concerned hazel eyes. Kurt tried to smile but gave it up pretty fast when Blaine started frowning. He shook his head, closing his bag. “It’s just... I don’t think I’ll be any good in this class, and I’m worrying if I can pass it. Don’t mind me, I’m a worrier.”
Blaine seemed to think about Kurt’s words and then started following him out of the classroom when Kurt got up and walked to the doors. They didn’t say anything for a few moments while they walked down the hall. Kurt was mentally cataloguing how much time he could spend in the library without cutting too much into his practice time when Blaine suddenly said, “You know, if you want we could... I don’t know, open up a study group for this thing?”
Kurt stopped abruptly and turned his head. Blaine seemed nervous, gripping the strap of his bag tightly. His head was slightly cocked to the side and his smile hesitant, as if he wasn’t sure if Kurt would decline or rip his head off for even suggesting that he should work with a mere freshman.
Kurt gripped his own bag’s strap, worrying his lip with his teeth. “Do you have any idea what he was talking about back there?”
Blaine opened his mouth, but closed it pretty fast, his cheeks puffing out with the breath he was holding in. He looked ridiculously cute like that.
“Well, not exactly,” he finally admitted, “but I was involved in a partition or two for our show choir back in high school?”
That made Kurt stop short. “You were in Glee club?” he asked, a little excited.
Blaine’s smile was back in an instant. “Yes! For my school in Connecticut. We never really made it very far, competition wise, but we were a good enough group I suppose. It was fun.”
“And you rearranged music for the group?” Kurt asked, starting to move again. Blaine followed suit.
“Yes, I did. I don’t think it’ll help much with the medieval part of this course but I guess I’ve heard about a few of the techniques at least?” He gave Kurt an encouraging smile. “Come on, Kurt. It’ll be fun. We can bitch and moan together.”
Kurt couldn’t help the small smile appearing on his own face at Blaine’s obvious excitement. It wasn’t like Kurt had many options to choose from here, and Blaine was offering. He knew Blaine as well as he knew any of his other acquaintances at school, so why not? Maybe they would be able to survive the course together?
“Okay, count me in,” he said before he could change his mind. Blaine’s smile widened even further, almost blinding Kurt with its intensity. The flutter in his gut was back.
“Great!” Blaine exclaimed, swinging back and forth on the balls of his feet. “Do you have time for coffee right now? We can talk schedules and I can give you a copy of the map we got last week of the campus buildings.”
Kurt didn’t even have to think about it before he said yes to that.
That’s how they found themselves in the nearest coffee shop fifteen minutes later, talking about their schedules over mocha lattes. Blaine was copying the map for him while they talked, and Kurt stared at his hands while he did it. They really were beautiful hands and Kurt had a brief mental flash of what they would look like on his skin, encasing his hips.
He squashed that thought immediately. This was so not the time to develop a crush, and especially not on this guy who had managed to put Kurt at ease within minutes of meeting him. Besides, Kurt and sexual relationships didn’t have the best track record so far.
He’d lost his virginity six months ago to an exchange student who went back to Finland a few weeks later. Kurt hadn’t been in love with him or anything, but Jalo had been nice and charming and looked really great, so Kurt took a chance and made his move, and for once in his life wasn’t rebuffed. Quite the contrary, and Jalo certainly knew how to use his hands and his mouth. Still, while the whole thing left Kurt physically satisfied, emotionally it hadn’t. And the guy after Jalo, one he’d met in a bar a couple of months later, didn’t do the trick either.
‘But it would be so easy to fall for this guy,’ his subconscious whispered to him while he listened to Blaine talk about how they better find somewhere else to study aside from his dorm room because his roommate was a giant homophobic asshole.
The moment the words were out of his mouth, Blaine stopped short, then looked up hesitantly at Kurt. “I mean, you know that I’m gay, right?” he asked, an odd undertone in his voice that made Kurt’s gut clench. He knew that color of voice. He’d used it himself, on many more occasions than any teenager should ever be forced to.
He swallowed and nodded. “I kind of figured,” he replied, waving at Blaine’s outfit. “Straight guys usually don’t favor the body conscious clothes.”
“And what a shame that is,” Blaine agreed immediately, impish smile gracing his lips. It was that more than anything that made Kurt blurt out, “I’m gay, too. In case you were wondering.”
And wow, he’d never outed himself in front of a virtual stranger before. He’d never felt comfortable enough doing that, even though most people had him pegged within a minute of meeting him. Still, it was so new and strange and yes, a little terrifying, that he trusted Blaine this much this fast. But Blaine didn’t seem inclined to hurt him, and all he did after Kurt’s declaration was smile and go back to copying his map for Kurt.
“We still need a place to meet for studying,” he took up their earlier conversation. “Maybe the library? I hear they have study rooms, but I don’t know how comfortable they are.”
“It’s okay, we can study at my place,” Kurt said before he could help himself. When Blaine looked at him questioningly, he added, “The roommate I was supposed to have this year quit before they could reassign anyone else. So far I’ve had the room to myself.”
“You’re a lucky bastard,” Blaine pouted, but the small grin belied his tone. That probably meant he wasn’t objecting to the idea. Kurt relaxed back into his seat.
They went back to scheduling study sessions, then somehow drifted off to theater productions they would love to be a part of, which naturally led to Kurt talking about Broadway. He blinked in surprise when Blaine met his enthusiasm and eagerly talked about having watched 'The Book Of Mormon' when he came here over the summer and how much he wanted to be one of the guys on stage.
It was a foregone conclusion that, when both of them had to leave for more lectures, they parted with each other’s phone numbers programmed into their cell phones.
“Hey Kurt!”
He was flinching away before he even processed whose hand had just landed on his shoulder. It was more a reflex than anything, and he regretted the impulse immediately, doubly so when he whirled around and caught sight of Blaine’s startled face. His hands were raised in a non-threatening gesture and Kurt wanted to kick himself for being so jumpy all the time.
“I’m sorry,” Blaine said after a lengthy pause, his arms lowering carefully. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
It was clear that he had no idea what he’d done to scare Kurt so much, and how could he have? They’d known each other for all of three days. Still, as soon as Kurt saw the mix of confusion and hurt in his hazel eyes, he wanted to turn back time and not flinch away from the other man. Blaine, bless him, tried to mask his feelings by smiling reassuringly at Kurt yet not demanding an explanation for the violent reaction he’d elicited.
Kurt wanted to give him one anyway.
That was a surprising thought. He’d never wanted to talk about what he’d endured during high school, not to anyone. Having the urge to spill all his secrets to this virtual stranger was unsettling and confusing. Yet here he was, biting his tongue in order not to blurt out his sob story.
He realized that the silence had gone on too long yet again, so he forced himself to smile, tightened the grip on his bag’s strap and replied, “It’s okay. I was somewhere else in my head.”
Blaine seemed a little dubious about that, but his smile turned understanding and fuck, Kurt still wanted to tell him everything.
“I know the feeling,” Blaine said. “You wouldn’t believe how many embarrassing incidents there have been in my time when I went into a writing frenzy because inspiration struck.”
This time, Kurt’s smile was more real. It was weird how much he felt at ease around Blaine, and so fast, too. They barely knew each other, after all.
“So what were you doing at the library?” Kurt asked, reflecting further from his earlier slip. He had been deep in thought when Blaine had addressed him. He’d just finished a five hour long study session and had been descending the stairs, going over his notes in his head while walking. Blaine, it seemed, had left the library at almost the same moment as Kurt, with the difference that he hadn’t spaced out completely and then almost thrown Kurt down the stairs with his violent reaction.
Blaine ducked his head and shrugged with one shoulder. “Just English Comp. I have a paper due in a week and thought I’d get most of my notes done in advance.”
Kurt raised his eyebrows. “Oh my, a model student.”
From Blaine’s smile, Kurt could see that he understood it as the friendly tease it had been intended as. Still, there was an abortive move in Kurt’s direction, as if Blaine had wanted to bump their shoulders and then caught himself at the last second.
Kurt felt oddly bereft at the realization that Blaine was respecting his personal space.
“So are you done for the week?” he asked, glossing over his weird reaction to Blaine not bumping shoulders with him by looking questioningly at him.
Blaine shrugged once again. “I suppose. There’s always something you can do to study, but I’m kind of looking forward to a free weekend.”
Kurt nodded, intending to wish Blaine fun with that. But what came out was the complete opposite.
“Me and a couple of guys from my acting class are going to see an improv theater play tomorrow night,” he said, out of nowhere. “You can come too, if you want.”
He’d barely issued the invitation when doubts crept in. What was he thinking? Blaine had just said that he was looking forward to a free weekend, and after Kurt’s strange behavior mere minutes before, he was probably not keen on spending more time with the weirdo who’d almost killed him by startling him off the stairs of the university library.
But Blaine surprised him by beaming at him. “I’d love that,” he agreed immediately. “Text me the details?”
“I will.”
Silence reigned once more while they stared and smiled at each other. Then Kurt came back to himself and shook himself out of his weird contemplations. “Okay, I’ve got to run. See you tomorrow!”
“Looking forward to it,” Blaine replied, still beaming. Kurt gave him a quick wave that felt a little awkward, then turned and headed for the subway.
True to his word, he texted Blaine the details as soon as he got home and had talked to Henry about an additional ticket for the play. He’d heard the curiosity through the phone, but Henry assured him it wouldn’t be a problem and if his ‘friend’ wanted to go out for drinks afterwards with them, that would be fine, too. Kurt reminded him that they were all under 21 and weren’t going to get any good drinks anyway, then hung up. But not before he’d thanked him once more for getting an additional ticket.
The next evening, Kurt was waiting in front of the entrance to the theater with Henry and Jacob, talking about their professor for interpretive dance. When he spotted Blaine walking towards them, he smiled before he could stop it, and Henry who had clearly followed his line of sight, whistled quietly next to him.
“Would you look at that,” he said, catching Kurt’s eye and wiggling his eyebrows at him. Kurt rolled his eyes in return, then turned back to Blaine who had come to a stop in front of them.
“Hey,” Blaine greeted them, wiggling his fingers in a quick wave and smiling shyly. “Thanks for inviting me.”
“Not a problem, honey,” Henry chirped and Kurt sent him a glare. Henry just raised an eyebrow and made a face that clearly signaled, ‘Bitch, please. Really?’
Before the staring match could escalate into something more violent and less playful, Jacob stepped forward and asked, “So how do you know Kurt?”
Blaine’s gaze switched from Henry to Jacob, then back to Kurt. “Oh, we both take Intro to Medieval Composition.”
Henry and Jacob both winced at once. “That was a nightmare,” Henry said, shaking his head. “So glad I survived that. I’m still not sure how, to be honest.” Suddenly he thrust out his hand, giving Blaine a blinding smile. “And I’m Henry, by the way. This is Jacob, and I’d like to know your name too, if you don’t mind.”
“Blaine,” he said, taking Henry’s hand and shaking it politely. “My name’s Blaine. Nice to meet you guys.”
“Oh, believe me,” Henry purred. “The pleasure’s all mine.”
“Okay,” Kurt said, plastering a fake smile on his face and gesturing to the entrance. “Time to go inside now.”
Henry shot him a very telling look, but let go of Blaine’s hand, linked his arm with Jacob’s and preceded them into the theater.
“I’m sorry about Henry,” Kurt said immediately and quiet enough that only Blaine could hear him. “He can be a bit much.”
“It’s fine,” Blaine said, a small smile on his lips. “Your friends are nice.”
Kurt opened his mouth to correct him, to tell him that Henry and Jacob were just acquaintances who’d started talking to him in class one day for a group project in their second semester and hadn’t stopped talking to him ever since, but then let it go. What good would it do, except show Blaine how much of a loser Kurt was who didn’t even have friends in New York? Besides, Henry and Jacob probably came closest to being his friends than anyone else he knew in the city.
“Let’s go inside,” Kurt said instead, waving his hand at the doors. Blaine nodded and followed him.
They took their seats, with Blaine sitting next to Henry and Kurt on his other side. They’d barely gotten comfortable when the house lights dimmed and the curtain lifted.
Improv theater, if done properly, could be a revelation. Sadly, it wasn’t the case for this performance. There were hints of some good thoughts, but altogether the whole thing didn’t hold together very well. At least the lead was kind of cute, which was probably the reason why Henry had wanted to see this play in the first place.
They were in the middle of Act 2 when Blaine leaned a little in Kurt’s direction. He met him halfway and could see from the corner of his eye that Blaine didn’t take his gaze off the stage either.
“Am I missing something,” he whispered as quietly as he could, “or is this really horrible?”
Kurt couldn’t help but snort, then whispered back, “He’s certainly no Cary Grant.”
Blaine’s head turned and Kurt followed suit. He was met with a beatific smile. “I know, right?” Blaine said. “Cary Grant would’ve owned that stage.”
“Tell me about it,” Kurt quipped. Then he got shushed by the guy next to him and rolled his eyes, but fell silent and slid a little deeper down in his seat.
Blaine stifled his giggles behind his fist and pretended to be deeply engrossed by the play, but when the curtain fell, him and Kurt were almost the first to get out of their seats and leave the theater after some polite clapping. Henry and Jacob didn’t seem to share their opinion and clapped enthusiastically, maybe hoping for an encore, though Kurt was pretty sure even improv theater didn’t allow for that.
By almost silent agreement, they decided to wait for them outside. Kurt donned his scarf and jacket, getting a glimpse of Blaine doing the same with his coat and striped scarf. They smiled at each other briefly and made their way outside.
“So,” Blaine said when they came to a stop on the sidewalk, his hands buried in the pockets of his coat. “Cary Grant?”
“Oh god, you too?” Kurt asked and grinned full out at Blaine who didn’t even pause in replying with an equally wide grin. “Which one is your favorite movie?”
Blaine looked at him as if he was crazy. “From which era?”
It was exactly the right answer to the question and he couldn’t help the little bounce he did, making Blaine laugh a little in surprise but also obvious delight. Kurt could barely restrain himself from clapping his hands together. He’d never met anyone who was as much of a fan of Cary Grant as he was. Finding someone who not only got it, but was equally as dorky about it was just too good to be true.
Before they could get too deeply into the topic of favorite Cary Grant movies from which era, sorted by most favorite female partner, Henry and Jacob emerged from the theater, looking blissed out.
“Ah, that was great,” Henry sighed, raising his arms. Kurt, knowing him well enough by now to know what was coming, took a step to the side to evade him. Henry didn’t seem deterred and let his arms fall over Jacob and Blaine’s shoulders instead.
“What do you say, kids. A few drinks?”
Blaine had a curious look on his face while he looked at Kurt, then at Henry. “Uhm, I’m only 19,” he pointed out.
That got Kurt’s attention.
“Wait, I thought you’re a freshman?” he blurted out.
Blaine’s face turned neutral so fast that Kurt almost got whiplash. “Long story,” he said, not quite meeting Kurt’s eyes.
Huh. So they probably both had some baggage to carry. Kurt wanted to take him somewhere, get them comfortable and spill all his own secrets to Blaine, wanting to hear everything about him in return. He knew that was stupid. They were acquaintances. Okay, they shared an obsession for Cary Grant, apparently, but that didn’t have to mean anything.
“You two are such sad little troopers,” Henry said suddenly, shaking his head and squeezing Blaine’s shoulder before letting him go. His other arm remained on Jacob’s shoulders though, much to Kurt’s surprise.
“I know a bar that’ll let you in. Nobody said we have to drink alcohol, though,” he continued, winking at them. “How ‘bout it, boys? You up for a little bar scene action?”
Blaine’s gaze met Kurt’s once more, a question in his eyes. Kurt didn’t want the evening to end already, and he wouldn’t mind having a soda or two while talking to Blaine a little more and getting to know him better. Blaine seemed to interpret Kurt’s gaze correctly, or was in the same boat. Whichever it was, it prompted him to turn to Henry and say, “Sure, sounds great.”
“Lead the way,” Kurt added, giving Blaine a small grin.
The bar they went to was nice. They’d settled down in a booth and Kurt and Blaine had continued their earlier conversation right away. They went at it for close to an hour, losing Henry and Jacob somewhere around minute 25. When they were done with that topic, they moved seamlessly on to their favorite books, getting into a heated discussion about the last part of 'The Hunger Games' and its construction before agreeing wholeheartedly that the Twilight Series was just a cheap copy of many, many popular books and 'The Princess Bride'.
“I’m not saying that I didn’t want to clog Buttercup over the head once or twice,” Kurt argued. “Because seriously, girl. How could you be that stupid? But she got nothing on Bella in the stupid department, that’s for sure.”
“Oh my god, I am still scarred by the whole pregnancy storyline,” Blaine replied, shuddering. “No gay man should be subjected to something like that. Then again, nobody ever should be subjected to that.”
“Plus, Edward was a creepy stalker,” Kurt added. Blaine nodded approvingly and took a drink from his fruity non-alcoholic cocktail. The wrist band marking them as under 21 jiggled on his arm, catching Kurt’s eye for a moment. It reminded him of the earlier revelation that Blaine was the same age as him. It made him forget about stupid sparkly vampires entirely and focus on other, more interesting topics.
Kurt was still curious about why they were the same age, but he also respected Blaine’s desire not to talk about it. God knew Kurt had enough of skeletons in his own closet that he’d rather not bring up. Still, a few personal questions should be allowed, shouldn’t they? Especially if they were planning to still talk to each other after the semester was over, which Kurt definitely was.
He took a deep breath, rubbed his thumb over the rim of his own glass and asked, “So did you grow up in Connecticut?”
The sudden change in topic took Blaine a little by surprise, that much was obvious. He scratched his temple briefly, then let his hand move to his neck before it fell back to the table top. “No. I’m from Ohio, originally,” he said after a moment. “Born and raised in Westerville. But my parents sent me to boarding school in Connecticut when I was fifteen. Well, technically fourteen on the verge of fifteen.”
Kurt stared. He couldn’t help it. This... perfect boy had been living not two hours away from him and they’d never met because he’d moved away before they could. Life really was a bitch sometimes. He huffed a bitter little laugh at that realization and stared down at his drink. “I grew up in Ohio, too.”
Silence answered him and he dared to look up after a moment. The raw emotions in Blaine’s eyes told him everything. He knew what it was like, knew what it meant to grow up as a gay teen in rural Ohio. They didn’t need to put it into words because clearly, they’d both had first hand experience with people’s bigotry.
“High school leaves you bruised and a little scarred, doesn’t it?” Blaine said quietly, a sad smile on his lips.
Kurt swallowed hard, thinking back on all the shoulder checks into lockers, and slushie attacks and verbal slurs and... everything else.
“Sometimes it leaves you a little broken, too,” he whispered back in a rough voice, his gaze catching Blaine’s once more. And something seemed to click for Blaine at that moment, because he got this knowing look. Kurt knew, he just knew that Blaine wanted to grab his hand in reassurance at that moment, but he didn’t. Instead, Blaine’s grip on his own glass tightened before he raised it and, waiting until Kurt did the same with his own, clinked it against Kurt’s drink.
“To surviving,” he toasted, giving him another small smile.
The lump in Kurt’s throat tightened further and he could feel a prickling behind his eyes that he hadn’t allowed himself to give in to for several years now. So he swallowed past the lump and replied, “To surviving.”
By the end of the night, Kurt knew that he was in a shitload of trouble.
The thing was, Kurt didn’t trust people. He’d always had difficulties with it, but being bullied the whole time he was in high school and being abandoned by your best friend for greener pastures right after graduation had left him scarred. He hadn’t let anyone close ever since he’d moved to New York, even though he’d always told himself everything would be different once he got out of Lima, Ohio and to the big city.
But then he’d arrived, freshly disillusioned and disappointed by Rachel’s departure to L.A., still angry and hurt and confused why she could leave all their plans behind just like that. And the picture perfect life he’d painted for himself while growing up didn’t come true, because everything just looked scary when you were alone, and nothing was like he’d imagined his college life to be. He lived in a dormroom, for starters, instead of the small apartment he’d wanted to rent together with Rachel. Granted, his roommate had been nice, a laid back fellow from California who bemoaned that he couldn’t surf in New York, but was otherwise cool with Kurt. But that was pretty much it.
Kurt and his roommate never had heart to hearts about where they grew up and what their hopes and dreams for the future were. The same went for Kurt’s classmates, who were all nice and reasonable, but nobody Kurt wanted to have world changing discussions with. Hell, even after two semesters Kurt still knew next to nothing about Henry and Jacob except that Henry was thinking about switching majors and becoming a makeup artist instead.
Blaine, though? He’d wanted to tell Blaine about himself and get to know everything about him in return three hours into their acquaintance. It just didn’t happen to Kurt like that. Even his friends from back home hadn’t been able to get under his skin so fast. They’d worked hard at their friendships, all of them. With Blaine it didn’t even seem like much work. They just... clicked. And after their evening out, Kurt was realizing that, even though him and Blaine had known each other five days in total, the man was quickly becoming his best friend out here.
And he was only a few steps shy of falling completely in love with him.
It terrified Kurt, how fast and easy and effortless Blaine had made him like him, and that Kurt already had difficulties imagining his life without Blaine in it. They just clicked on a fundamental level, and they had so many similar interests yet had enough differences to not bore each other to tears. If Kurt were in a better place emotionally, he might have made a go of this thing that was slowly blossoming between them. Kurt was pretty sure that Blaine could feel it, too. But Kurt wasn’t in a good place, and throwing sex into this confusing mix would just be a terrible idea.
Even though he found Blaine really, really sexy.
It was a few days later that he realized something else about Blaine: he wasn’t a pushover. He came to that conclusion during their first study session together - and after their first proper class in medieval composition, which had left Kurt seething and almost frothing at the mouth while he ranted about their asshole instructor. Blaine had been listening to Kurt rant for close to ten minutes before he’d lost his patience, shut his book and said in no uncertain terms that if Kurt didn’t grow up in the next two minutes, Blaine was out of there.
That had been a surprise and Kurt shut up faster than if he'd yelled. And Blaine had smiled, nodded his head and went back to his studying. That’s when Kurt realized that Blaine gave as good as he got without being terrified of Kurt’s darker moods or more hurtful words. Kurt wasn’t used to that. Even his old friends, after years of knowing him, had never coped well with these types of moods. But not Blaine. Kurt didn’t have to hold anything back with Blaine, and it was such a new concept that he didn’t know what to do with that.
Not to mention that it was startlingly hot when Blaine had glared at him and ordered him to shut up, sit down and deal with his problem like an adult.
He wasn’t sure how he could ever go back to living without Blaine’s steady presence and reassuring words, his wit and charisma and easy banter that matched Kurt’s sarcastic barbs word for word. It really didn’t help that, on top of that, Blaine was this tiny bundle of energy and raw sex appeal that made Kurt’s head spin.
The conclusion was startling and yet inevitable: he couldn’t lose Blaine, he just couldn’t. For the first time in over a year, Kurt felt alive again. He’d rather die than go back to the fugue state he’d been in ever since Rachel had abandoned him for Los Angeles.
“You know what we should do?” Blaine said half an hour after he’d ordered Kurt to be quiet and inadvertently turning Kurt on in the process. He was lying belly down on the floor of Kurt’s dorm room, looking up at him sitting on the bed. Blaine’s pencil was wiggling back and forth while he pondered whatever had been flying into his head, interrupting Kurt’s own frustrated attempts to make sense of the partition their instructor had given them yesterday in class.
“Kill the bastard?” Kurt quipped, giving up with a sigh and turning his full attention on Blaine.
“No,” Blaine said, drawing out the word and smiling around it, before rolling around and sitting up, his legs crossed. “We should let Cary Grant show us how it’s done.”
Kurt raised an eyebrow. “I doubt he ever had to suffer through Intro to Medieval Composition,” he said in a deadpan voice. “Or made a movie about it.”
Blaine giggled. Giggled. Oh sweet mother of Jesus, Kurt was in so much trouble already. He bit his lip and tried to concentrate on something else except Blaine and how adorable he was.
Needless to say, he wasn’t very successful.
“I mean,” Blaine said, startling him out of his thoughts, “let’s watch some of his movies so we’ll know why we’re doing all this. I know that it’s not exactly Broadway or musical theater in any way, but he always makes me feel better, so...”
Blaine shrugged and fell silent, looking imploringly at Kurt. He’d realized pretty much days ago that he couldn’t really say no to Blaine’s puppy dog eyes when he was really putting his everything behind it. Like right now.
“Which era?” Kurt asked, giving in.
Blaine punched the air like the massive dork that he was. “I vote for the thirties.”
Kurt flipped through his mental catalogue of Cary Grant movies, but wasn’t sure which ones he actually had with him in New York. There should be some of his favorites from the thirties on his shelf, though.
“Okay,” he agreed. “Let’s make an evening out of it. Each of us gets to pick two movies.”
“I knew there was a reason I liked you,” Blaine grinned, getting out his phone and starting to type. “This Saturday work for you?”
Kurt shrugged, taking his own phone out to check his calendar, which he knew was wide open. Because unlike Blaine, he didn’t have any close friends who vied for his attention. “That’s fine. Here?”
“Where else?” Blaine replied. “My roommate’s still a massive douche. I doubt he’d appreciate classic Hollywood movies. Not enough explosions.”
Kurt couldn’t help the laugh escaping him, and when he caught Blaine’s fond smile, he almost forgot how to breathe. Oh god, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.
Kurt didn’t cancel on Blaine, despite his reservations. And in the end he didn’t regret it, because it was fun watching the movies with Blaine, who had insightful stories about some of the scripts, and sometimes just snarked about the female lead when she was particularly stupid.
Kurt wasn’t sure when they fell asleep, but when Sunday morning dawned, he woke up with his face pressed against Blaine’s neck. Kurt wasn’t even sure how it’d happened, how he’d gravitated to Blaine’s side to press himself against him in his sleep.
Kurt wasn’t a tactile person, quite the opposite. He flinched away from people’s touches because it had been conditioned into him that unexpected touches were bad for his health. The incident on the library stairs was still fresh in Kurt’s mind, and he still felt an ache in his chest when he remembered the hurt look on Blaine’s face after he’d flinched away from him. So, no. Kurt generally wasn’t a tactile person, and he didn’t sleep with other people or trusted them to see him at his most vulnerable.
But waking up next to Blaine wasn’t hard or even scary. No, the scary part was that he didn’t want to leave. He just wanted to fall back asleep in Blaine’s arms and trust him to protect Kurt and his vulnerabilities. He wanted to wake up every day with his face pressed against Blaine’s neck, inhaling him deep and wishing he never had to move ever again. It frightened Kurt how much he cared and adored this man after only a few short weeks.
That’s when he knew he had to draw a line, no matter how painful it would be for him. He wouldn’t lose Blaine to his own silly feelings. No, not wouldn’t; he just couldn’t. And he would make sure that it didn’t happen.
Losing Blaine wasn’t an option, screw his silly heart.
Blaine started to stir, waking up slowly. Kurt was looking down at him, sitting next to him while having a quiet panic attack over his own feelings. Then Blaine’s eyes opened, focussed on him without a problem and smiled that gorgeous, sexy smile of his. Kurt felt the prickling behind his eyes again while the bile rose in his throat. He didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to snub something in the bud that could be something incredible, but he knew that he had to do something to ensure that Blaine would stay.
Preferably forever.
So he took a deep breath, let his finger slide over the sheets and said with a small voice, “I’m so glad you’re my friend.”
Blaine blinked, his gaze turning puzzled. He was probably still half asleep and couldn’t make sense of Kurt’s words just yet. He sat up slowly, frowning slightly while he looked searchingly at Kurt. When he still hadn’t said anything after a few minutes and just sat there in the middle of Kurt’s bed, rubbing a hand through his hair and being all adorable and lovable, Kurt could feel doubt creep up on him. Had he read this whole thing completely wrong? Had Blaine just been nice to him because he’d hoped to get laid?
He looked down at his hands, folded in his lap, and asked, “We are friends, right?”
Blaine’s whole face softened at that and he smiled immediately. “Of course we are, Kurt,” he said quietly, reassuringly. “You’re actually quickly becoming one of my best friends, to be honest.”
Something warm bloomed in Kurt’s chest at the admission, the earlier fear vanishing slowly. He smiled back, a little shy now. “Me too,” he admitted, wanting to give Blaine at least that, needing to give him this small grain of truth.
Blaine’s smile widened at Kurt’s words and the warm feeling in Kurt’s chest increased tenfold. He cut it off before it could spread any further.
They were friends now, just friends. And they would be friends forever if Kurt had any say in the matter. He wouldn’t lose Blaine like he’d lost Rachel. He would work hard on this friendship because not having Blaine in his life wasn’t an option. Complicating their blossoming friendship with anything else was just asking for it, and Kurt definitely wasn’t taking any chances. He just had to try hard enough to tamp down on his own silly feelings.
Because in the end, Blaine was totally worth it.