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I've tried time and time to be someone you really deserve—And I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to say that I've done enough. I've done–said horrible things. Things I never wished would be to you of all people. ...I know you tell me that "I've done plenty! I proven myself 'worthy' countless times!" Yet, for me, I'm still not there, and I will keep trying; keep being better.
I'm not sure on a lot of things, but I know this is what I want. And It's selfish to say– I want you.
You brought out a side of me I thought I'd never get back, feelings I believed couldn't be found again. I thought for the longest time that love and loving someone meant getting hurt, that love can crush you and only lead to wound upon wound.
But with you, it all feels different. A good kind. You taught me that it can be sweet, gentle and warm.
You're warm, comforting. A comfort I haven't felt in ages. A light in what was a dimly lit world.
It's not always as easy as that, everything isn't perfect all the time—There's disagreements, arguments, the moments of weakness. And through all that, I'd still love you the same.
I'm so glad to be yours, knowing you feel the same. I get to wake up to you, come home to you. You're the first thing I get to see in the morning and the last thing I see before I sleep. If I'm lucky you'll be in my dreams. And I wouldn't want it any other way.
It feels wrong to be saying this. To be doing this. But...You make me so happy. And—I've never been so sure about something until now.
However for us, marriage can only be evidenced by a ring. But if at least I can look at this band wrapped around my finger and know that I have the rest of my life to spend with you by my side—Then I'm okay with that.
I love you Haruki.
"Marry me."