Work Text:
The song the One Shot is based on- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtLtZoCwquw
Simon was on the stage singing one of his songs at his weekly gig at a bar in the middle of Stockholm. He performs here every Saturday night, it's a good gig, he gets good money and he can still easily attend university during the week.
When he finished he song 'Mama' he announced to the crowd he was going on a quick break in which he went to the bathroom and went to grab a bottle of water from the bar. He payed for the water and headed back to the stage as his break was almost over.
As his break ended he picked up his guitar, and said to the crowd "hey everybody!" they all yelled back at him "this next song is a bit slower, I hope you all like it" they yelled back in acknowledgement.
He gently started strumming the beginning chords to the song and the bar got quiet so they could hear him. After a few moments his voice started coming and singing they lyrics softly
Feeling used
But I’m
Still missing you
And I can’t
See the end of this
Just wanna feel your kiss
Against my lips
And now all this time
Is passing by
But I still can’t seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realise how much I need you
His eyes closed as he mindlessly plucked at the strings.
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to, but I can't put
Nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I′ll never be her
Simon opened his eyes and looked around the bar, all eyes on him and barely anyone else talking. When he glanced at the bar, his jaw almost dropping as he saw him, his first and only ever love. Willie, staring at him with sadness in his eyes. Simon continued on with the song, his eyes never leaving Willie's.
I miss you when I can′t sleep
Or right after coffee or right when I can't eat
I miss you in my front seat
Still got sand in my sweaters from nights we don′t remember
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Fucked around and got attached to you
Friends can break your heart too
And I'm always tired but never of you
If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn’t like that shit
I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that shit
I type a text but then I "never mind" that shit
I got these feelings but you never mind that shit
Oh, oh, keep it on the low
You′re still in love with me, but your friends don't know
If you wanted me, you would just say so
And if I were you, I would never let me go
He couldn't believe it, he was still staring intently at Willie. He was still playing the song as the chorus came up but barely registering it as he sang with so much emotion as the reason for the song was literally staring at him with so much love and sadness right now.
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to, but I can′t put
Nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I′ll never be her
He felt his eyes brimming with tears as he began to sing the next verse, memories from high school that he's tried so hard to forget flooding in his mind.
I
don't mean no harm
I just miss you on my arm
Wedding bells were just alarms
Caution tape around my heart
You ever wonder what we could have been?
You said you wouldn′t and you fuckin' did
Lie to me, lie with me, get your fuckin′ fix
Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fuckin' mixed
Always missin′ people that I shouldn't be missin'
Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance
I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscin′
But I learned from my dad that it′s good to have feelings
When love and trust are gone
I guess this is moving on
Everyone I do right does me wrong
So every lonely night, I sing this song
He felt so much emotions while he looked at Willie, anger, hatred, love, sadness. He felt everything.
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to, but I can′t put
Nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her
He couldn't take his eyes off Willie even if he tried, he was still as beautiful as he remembered.
All alone, I watch you watch her
Like she′s the only girl you've ever seen
You don′t care, you never did
You don't give a damn about me
Yeah, all alone, I watch you watch her
She is the only thing you've ever seen
How is it you never notice
That you are slowly killing me?
He saw Willie slightly flinch at the lyrics and slight aggressiveness in his tone at the last verse.
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don′t want to, but I can′t put
Nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her
Simon finished the song, still staring at Willie and Willie staring at him. Simon got snapped out of his trance at the applause that followed.
He said a quick thanks to the crowd, secretly glad that his gig was finished and instead of sticking around like he usually does, he quickly packed his things and tried to rush out the door but everyone was stopping him and thanking him for a great show. He just said thank you and eventually he got out the door.
He took a big gasp of air and leaned against the wall. After a couple of minutes, he pushed himself up and began to work home.
As he was rounding the corner when he heard his name being yelled out.
"Simon! Wait!"
When he turned around he saw Willie running at him, he stopped in his tracks as he watched shocked.
Willie stopped in front of him, a little out of breath, Simon waited a minute and when he was about to ask Willie what he wanted, Willie spoke up.
"Hey"
"Hey" Simon replied, kinda confused, after another minute. Simon asked a question
"Is there something you wanted?"
Willie looked at him with a hint of sadness and so many other emotions. It took another minute to get an answer to his question
"Was that song about us?" Willie asked
Simon was taken aback at the bluntness of the question, he still got slightly embarrassed though and looked at the pavement that was beginning to get a little wet at the rain that slowly started to trickle around them. That was all the confirmation that Willie needed.
Before Simon could reply, Willie spoke again.
"I've always cared about you Simon, I'm sorry about what I did in high school. I've had so much time to reflect on my past actions and I treated you horribly. I wish i came out then, that way I wouldn't have lost the one person who I genuinely love, the one person who I never stopped loving"
Simon looked at Willie shocked at the confession. Willie still loved him? Simon wanted to jump with joy, but then he remembers something. Felice. High school. All the pain that he caused him.
"What about Felice? Aren't you two together?" Simon asked, arms crossed over his chest as the rain began to fall harder around them.
"How did you know?" Willie asked, genuinely confused.
"Well, when the son of Kristina's Cosmetics gets engaged to a noble daughter, word gets 'round" Simon replied with a sassy tone.
"We're only getting married because our parents are making us" Simon looked shocked, he knew Willie's parents are assholes, just didn't realise how much.
"She loves someone else and I..." Willie stopped his sentence but Simon knew what he wanted to say.
"What about high school? You really hurt me" Simon said, still unsure if he should slap or kiss Willie.
"I'm gonna come out, I have enough money saved up in case they do cut me off like I'm expecting"
"How can I believe you?"
"Because" Willie started but then stopped unsure if he should continue the sentence. Simon saw something click in his brain then he continued.
"Because I love you" Simon was shocked. "I love you so much, I never stopped. I want to be with you, it's always been you. I would give up everything if it meant getting to be with you" Willie stated, stepping closer to Simon putting a gentle hand on his cheek, wiping away the tear he didn't even know had dropped.
"You promise, this won't be a secret? That I can actually tell the entire world if I want to that I love you" Simon asked.
Willie smiled and nodded is head.
Simon smiled a wet smile as the tears has began to fall freely, he was so happy. He finally heard the worlds he's longed to hear for nearly seven years.
Willie's hands dropped to his waist and Simon put his arms around Willie's neck.
"I promise, I'll do anything to make you happy" Willie whispered, so it was just between them. He pulled him in so he could finally wrap his arms around the slim waist of the boy he's never stopped loving for seven years.
They hugged each other for a few minutes before Willie broke it.
"Can I kiss you?"
Simon pulled away slightly and asked "What about Felice?" Simon asked, genuinely unsure if he should kiss Willie.
"She won't care, I'm sure she's done more then kiss with other guys since we got engaged" Willie replied, slightly laughing
Simon giggled and then pulled Willie in for their first kiss in years and it was everything. He felt fireworks in his stomach, and his entire body felt like it was on fire despite the cold rain falling around them.
If you told Simon this morning that at 11pm on a random Saturday that he would be kissing his high school sweetheart, on a crowded street in the middle of Stockholm with rain pouring around them, he would've laughed in your face.
The universe works in mysterious ways Simon thought
But he could definitely get used to this, being able to kiss Willie without having to worry about if other people saw or not.
Yep, he definitely could.