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Weak rays escape through spots of the unhidden window. The night is pin-drop silent, even the quietest footsteps can be heard. The shimmer of the moon reflects onto the metallic gear laid on Rui’s desk.
He tries to work on the gadget at hand, but truthfully, his mind is preoccupied with thoughts consisting of things not so similar. His tool in hand, he manages to push one screw onto the device before musing again.
A soft yawn is heard from the back, where Rui’s bed is situated. Tsukasa lays comfortably inside a few blankets (that Rui gave him, even though he said he didn’t need any) with his papers in hand. His energy for the day has almost depleted as the night longs into tranquility and his eyes start to feel heavy.
A serene moment as it is, it is interrupted by a soft call of his name.
“Tsukasa-kun,” Rui calls out from his desk.
“Hm? You need something?” Tsukasa says, looking up from the script in hand.
The other drops the tool in hand and pushes his chair back slightly, just enough to be able to gaze properly at Tsukasa. Even from that distance, Rui swears he can count the boy’s lashes. He wishes he could get closer to count them.
“Hmm,” Rui says. “I wouldn’t go as far to say it is a ‘need’, but, you could say it is urgent.”
Tsukasa narrows his eyes as he fixes his gaze onto the other boy. “Why do you have to make everything sound so suspicious?”
He simply smiles his signature foxy grin in return, shrugging. His hands itch to wipe the singular strand of hair away from Tsukasa’s eyes.
“Anything is urgent if I need it from Tsukasa-kun,” he says.
Typical, Tsukasa mumbles under his breath and rolls his eyes. Or, at least attempts to, with the exhaustion creeping up to him and trying to lull him to dreamland. His enervated demeanor whenever he is tired, Rui thinks, makes him appear even more delicate than usual.
Another yawn bubbles in Tsukasa’s throat. He covers his mouth with his hand as he yawns.
“Ah, it’s past the time you usually sleep, right?” Rui asks, suddenly remembering how the other boy likes to sleep in early. “Time for you to go to bed, I fear. My bed isn’t all that bad, y’know.”
Tsukasa didn’t think his bed is bad at all, really. Despite his suspicions when he first entered Rui’s room, his bed seemed to be warm and just soft enough to sleep on. He never minded sleeping on his bed.
Or, at least, he doesn’t mind when Rui sleeps next to him. And when Rui brings the boy closer to him if Tsukasa ever feels cold.
Ignoring the last remark, he replies, “It is. But, I’d rather help you with what you need— want first, I mean,”
“Fufu, so you’ll give into whatever I say so easily? You flatter me,” Rui teases, smiling. Tsukasa mumbles a ugh, you, too tired to even argue back. Not that what Rui is saying is untrue, but he will never admit that.
They bask in comfortable silence for a while. The only sounds are the hushed breaths of Tsukasa mixed in with the creaking of Rui’s chair.
“Well..” Rui says, taking a moment to stare at the other boy. “How do you think I love?”
Tsukasa blinks, taken back by surprise. His breaths become even as he is brought back to reality. His mouth opens to speak something, yet nothing comes out, and he shuts it back again.
“I— Huh?” he sputters.
Rui tilts his head slightly, as if to tease the boy. It barely helps calm his own nerves.
“Fufu, did I leave you speechless?” he says, chuckling. If the chuckle sounds slightly shaky, neither comment on it.
"Was.." Tsukasa trails off, "was that what you wanted help with?" he continues, his voice barely above a whisper.
Rui searches for any sign of disgust, confusion, or repulsion on the other's face. And, yet, in this search he only finds soft understanding in his eyes and encouragement to keep talking. He gives into his own selfish want of keeping this Tsukasa to himself only.
"It is," he says. He begins again, truthfully, "It's been on my mind this whole day."
Tsukasa nods in response, his eyes following the trail of light in the room.
“Isn’t that something you should be knowing?” Tsukasa utters with a playful undertone, due to his habit of giving snarky remarks.
Realizing what he just said, he shuts his mouth promptly in doubt of whether it was the right thing to say in this situation. He hopes it didn’t make Rui think he didn’t care — he does, a lot in fact, but he can’t help cracking jokes in vulnerable moments. That was, if he ever even shows vulnerability.
Leave it to me to never be able to communicate properly with others in moments of weakness, he thinks.
However, all his self-loathing thoughts and fear is shut down when Rui’s lips curve upwards and he proceeds to chuckle. Rui knew him too well, it was almost scary to Tsukasa.
Unbeknownst to the other boy’s inner turmoil, his words bring Rui more comfort. If anything, it only made him more comfortable to continue speaking. For somebody claiming to never have serious conversations with Tsukasa, he sure made the biggest effort to do that exact aforementioned thing.
Though, he also supposes, him and Tsukasa have been getting a lot closer nowadays. Closer than they used to be, at least. Rui can’t help but want more of him.
“Hm, I suppose you’re correct,” Rui says, as if pondering to be in deep thought.
“I haven’t been able to come to a conclusion on my own. So, I thought I’d ask my star. Simple, no?” he continues.
Tsukasa suddenly feels warmth crawling onto his face and now, he’s all the more awake, the exhaustion dissipating into a much warmer feeling he can’t pinpoint himself. He pretends not to notice the shift in Rui saying our star whenever he’s around other people to my star when it’s just the two of them. Not that it truly matters, really. Really.
"Is it really?" he huffs, redness still visible on his cheeks.
The other boy laughs lightly in response. He seemed completely okay with straying away from the initial conversation, but Tsukasa was not going to have that. Of course, he wanted to give his director what he wanted.
And what he wanted right now was an answer
Tsukasa tries to think about the right way to phrase his words. "I think.." he starts, tilting his head to his right side.
"Agh, I don't know how to phrase this!" he exclaims, frustrated, hiding his eyes with his hands for a second.
"It is a peculiar question, isn't it?" Rui asks, with the signature grin. "Ah, it's okay, Tsukasa-kun. I know coming up with an answer like this isn't easy."
"No!" he replies, defensive.
Rui blinks, surprised at the sudden burst of energy in his reaction. After realizing his loud reaction, Tsukasa's voice gets whispery again. He clears his throat.
"I meant, I know my answer," he says. The blush adorns his face in a way that even with no light, Rui can see the spots of pink. "I just don't know how to phrase it."
"It's just," Tsukasa continues, not giving Rui a chance to counter his statement. "I.. don't really know what you mean exactly."
"But, if you were to ask me," he says, now gazing directly into Rui's eyes without breaking contact.
"I think.. you love gently."
The beat of silence after the statement stays for a few seconds. It seems that Rui is at a loss of words, for once.
"Oh."
Now, with a determined look, Tsukasa says, "Like how you treat even your robots softly, and your friends. You.. you really are kinder than you think."
He wasn't the best with his words in such unfamiliar situations, but he hopes what he means got through to Rui. Judging by the boy's reaction, it seems to have worked.
Rui's expression contorts into one of surprise and dots of blush are visible on his face. Ah, am I really blushing right now? The things you do, Tsukasa-kun.
The reaction is quickly replaced with something more Rui-like, with an unfazed and cool demeanor once again up.
"Fufu, you are quite the romantic, Tsukasa-kun. Since when did that happen?" he teases.
"Hey, I've always been this way," Tsukasa retorts, albeit weakly, the fatigue once again creeping up to his body.
Rui laughs. "Hm. It's gotten quite late now, hasn't it? My star should get his beauty sleep now."
And, to that, Tsukasa agrees. He brings Rui's blanket, hiding his body, and his paper kept on the side table.
"Don't stay up too late this time, okay?" Tsukasa says, yawning.
Tsukasa doesn't see it, but Rui has a soft smile on his face. "I'll try my best."
"Oh, and, Tsukasa-kun?" he calls out.
Tsukasa lets out a sleepy hum, now having the blanket fully over himself and his face towards the lamp on Rui's desk.
"Ah, nevermind," he says. "Goodnight, Tsukasa," he whispers.
Tsukasa muffles a good night, Rui from under the sheets as he blissfully lulls to dreamland.
He doesn't know, but his answer kept repeating itself in Rui's mind and he truly felt as if it was the answer he needed.
Rui went to sleep early that night, too. As per Tsukasa's request.
And, he might've given into his yearning to hold Tsukasa in his arms whilst he sleeps. But, that's unrelated.
☆
It's one night after a few months that Rui's mind wanders off to that particular moment in time once again. He'd be lying if he says he hasn't thought about that night a lot.
This time, he supposes, things are quite different. For, they're both in bed in Tsukasa's room instead.
And, instead of him yearning desperately, he actually knows his love is requited by Tsukasa this time.
"Rui?" he says, breaking his train of thought. "What's on your mind?"
"Caught me red-handed it seems," Rui says, grinning.
Tsukasa rolls his eyes. "Not that hard to know. You have that distant look on your face when you think."
And maybe I just know you is on the tip of his tongue, but it remains unsaid.
"Do I, now?" he teases, raising an eyebrow. "My, my. You pay quite a lot of attention to me."
Tsukasa groans. He pushes his head further onto Rui's chest, hiding his face. "Oh my god."
Endeared by his lover's reaction, he laughs. "You wound me, Tsukasa-kun," he says, pout evident in his tone.
"Though, if you must know," Rui starts. "I was just thinking about that night."
Tsukasa brings his head further away to look at Rui, a confused look on his face.
"The night before I confessed to you," Rui continues.
It's as if Tsukasa has an eureka moment and his face lights up with recognition. Cute, he thinks.
"I remember!" he exclaims. "I knew that question hadn't come out of nowhere."
"My star has gotten so smart," Rui teases, his face on the verge of laughter at the way Tsukasa very unthreateningly narrows his eyes.
"I'm smarter than you guys think," Tsukasa huffs, making a face of annoyance.
"I know you are," Rui replies, softly.
The tone of voice did weird things to Tsukasa's heart.
They stay like that for a while, basking in each other's presence on Tsukasa's bed as the midnight stars shine light from his window.
"Tsukasa?"
"Yeah?" he says at the sudden call.
Rui appears slightly nervous, though nervous in the sense that he didn't know how to phrase his words. That is an uncommon occurrence in itself; he always has words on the tip of tongue.
Ah, so this is what Tsukasa-kun felt like that day.
"When you told me that I love gently that day in my room," he says. He continues, "I wanted to tell you that I love gently because—"
His hands graze Tsukasa's knuckles, the touch so tender that even his words couldn't express it. He draws small, soothing circles with his thumb on the boy's hands, still holding them close to his chest. One hand reaches further to find a way to cup Tsukasa's cheek, with him blinking in surprise at the warm touch.
"Because I love a gentle person like you," he whispers, eyes locked onto Tsukasa with an unwavering gaze.
Tsukasa's cheeks turn a subtle shade of pink.
"You think so?" he mutters.
Rui smiles, a genuine one, the type he doesn't show others. "I know so."
Tsukasa's heart beats faster at the praise. The two are barely inches away from each other, and he just wishes Rui can't hear it.
"Your heart is skipping so fast," Rui remarks.
"Is not," Tsukasa denies, weakly. He has an evident pout on his face and yet his heart continues to skip.
The boy chuckles. "Ah, you're really cute, aren't you?"
No, I'm cool, is what Tsukasa would like to say but he doesn't. His heart is all fuzzy and skipping weirdly and he doesn't have it in himself to answer.
With one hand still cupped onto Tsukasa's cheek, he brings the other on his hand to Rui's chest, right onto where his heart is.
"Can you hear mine, Tsukasa?" he asks, voice low.
Tsukasa can so clearly feel the vibrations on his hand and the fast rate at which it is going.
"That's how my heart feels when I'm around you," Rui says. "You always compliment me for the way I love, but, I learnt how to love from you."
"You showed me what it feels like to be loved gently," he continues, softly.
He has a smile on his face. "So will you allow me to love you gently as well?"
Tsukasa is rendered speechless. "Rui, I.."
Rui brings his face closer to Tsukasa's. Now, at this proximity, Rui can even exactly count Tsukasa's lashes.
"Have you noticed you have a kaleidoscope of stars swimming in your eyes?" Rui asks, though the question is more of just a statement. "They shine brighter than any star in the sky."
"I love those stars, they lighten up every room they're in," he says, smiling.
"Ah, sorry. This isn't about those stars anymore, is it?"
It is then that Tsukasa catches on to what Rui is hinting at. And if it is possible to get even redder, he has achieved that now.
He lets go of Tsukasa's cheek in favor of wrapping his arms around his waist.
"You're the brightest star for me," he murmurs.
Tsukasa stares back at him, yearning to get even closer. With Rui's hands around his waist, he is pulled closer to him.
After a moment, Rui tilts his head, looking down at Tsukasa's lips for a moment. He whispers next to his ear, "May I?"
Tsukasa nods hastily, an action which makes Rui laugh at how cute and endearing it is.
"You don't need to ask," he says, softly.
Slowly and carefully, he feels a weight against his lips. Their bodies press together. Rui leans in closer, holding Tsukasa so delicately as if one wrong move and he'd break like fragile glass.
Tsukasa tastes like strawberries, probably from the chapstick he uses with how particular he is with his hygiene.
Rui intertwines one of his palms with Tsukasa's as he continues to kiss him. He is gentle in the way he kisses him, so delicately soft like somebody would be with a precious jewel.
Tsukasa pulls away, panting and gasping, trying to catch his breath. Rui wishes he could stay like this forever, with Tsukasa in his arms.
Tsukasa is beautiful. He’s always been beautiful. If Rui could only sit like this forever, being able to fawn over every intricate detail of his, he would comply.
“I love you." Rui whispers on his lips. "I’m in love with you. I really like you so much, Tsukasa.”
Tsukasa's eyes turn glossy with millions of unwavering emotions swirling around in them. Water wells up in his eyes as it threatens to stream down his face.
Even like this, Rui thinks, Tsukasa still looks ethereal.
"I love you, Rui," he chokes out, though with a soft smile despite the tears.
The coldness of the night is erased by the warmth they feel in each other's embrace. Nothing in the world could replace this for the both of them, just the two simply alone together.
Rui comes closer to kiss the tears away, much to Tsukasa's protest.
"Use your hands!" he exclaims, blinking away the tears.
Rui laughs, shaking his head. "No can do. You sound like a wife."
Tsukasa scoffs, though Rui can tell affection is laced into it as the boy's hands grip Rui's tighter.
Laying like that for quite a while, Rui hears soft breaths on his chest. Tsukasa's heart beats quiet down and go back to normal as he dozes off.
Rui looks down and smiles fondly at the sight. A smile with so much fondness and affection laced with it that even he himself couldn't have believed it if he saw it himself.
"One day, I will marry you for real."