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Fit was trying his best to forgive Pac for what happened when they were previously on opposite teams in Purgatory.
It was a bit harrowing, admittedly, hearing the voice of his friend who had promised he wouldn’t kill him during the murder he refused to stop that his teammates committed. It put Fit in a weird place, still feeling the bitter betrayal thick on his tongue even after he recovered and days later when his team was eliminated from the running. Luckily, they were simply moved to a different team, and fortunately Fit had been moved to Pac’s team by choice from Tubbo. He still remembered the blazing joy behind Pac’s eyes when he saw his clothes in strands of blue instead, followed by the almost immediate wavering of anxiety and uncertainty when Fit walked up to him and gave him a small nod before moving along, tending to whatever tasks they had that day as if nothing had happened between them.
But of course, both of them knew they couldn’t just pretend after the weight that was pressing both of them down became more evident in their tense glances and shoulders slowing down their progress. They had sat down later that night after everything was done, Pac apologizing sincerely and offering an explanation of his point of view of the fight and how he tried and failed to stop them and never laid a hand on Fit. Fit listened patiently, remembering the glimmers of the fire they sat in front of and the void of nighttime staring around them waiting for his judgment call as Fit decided to forgive him. Pac seemed genuine, and the world was already darker due to all of the Purgatory hell; there were too many other things going on to truly hold a grudge. It wasn’t like he wanted to anyways; his heart had started aching the moment Pac’s face almost collapsed in tears. And my God, I might as well damn myself if I make him cry.
Seeing Pac’s face glow now instead with a relieved smile was much better to see, and Fit was going to do his best to forgive him entirely later. It’s not that he was lying with his apology; he just knew it would take a bit of time for it to fully set in. But he was going to try. Pac was certainly worth it, and he knew he couldn’t hide how much he had missed him anyways.
So he and Pac thought they would be able to have a nice morning walk together in celebration of reuniting and to try and return to normalcy of the times before Purgatory, brushing shoulders and laughing softly under the array of pine trees sheltering their laughs and company from the rest of the world as if they hadn’t be thrown into their emotional turmoil at all. Fit remembered glancing aside at Pac a few times in an attempt to convince himself it was all still real, seeing a blissful smile and the late afternoon haze swirling around his sleeveless shirt with a ripple of relief that it all felt familiar. The cuts and bruises running along his body were still ripe in color and show, but his dark eyes were filled with nothing but peace for a moment as he relaxed with Fit’s company.
Fit felt the flutters in his chest, a catch of breath when his friend got caught in the sunlight for a moment. It was an odd feeling; a feeling of peace, of things being okay for just a moment and an urge to say something despite not even knowing what exactly he wanted to put into words. I feel like that’s happened a lot; we’d just be standing and talking, or just doing something, and I’ll get this… Feeling. Even before Purgatory. How it’s occurring now, I don’t know…
But before Fit could try and delve into it more or the sea of thrashing emotions bubbling up within, they heard something fire off nearby and let out a high-pitch whistle from a weapon launched their way. Pac and Fit both jerked away instinctively from whatever was charging towards them before they froze, eyes flashing to each other in alarm. There was a deep fear that Fit was startled into seeing in Pac’s eyes as they flicked behind him, looking to where the arrow came from. There was only a brief moment of pause before there was another whistle behind Fit, hands reaching out to grab him and yank him forward as his feet instantly started into action as they sprinted through the trees. Red team? Mobs?
Whatever it was, it was now a game of predator versus prey. Sights blurred as the hunt was on, Fit and Pac splitting apart to shrink the target and barreled through the trees in quick glimpses of forestry around them with faint shrieks behind them, still unsure whether it was all entirely human or not. Fit caught Pac dashing and hopping through the woods, his lean body fit for swiftness with his thick black hair bunched together to try and cover the flashes of fear and adrenaline coursing through his eyes. Fit was charged along with him, using the muscles in his legs to keep up with Pac while they heard a few stray whistles of projectiles flying around them to try and land a hit. There was a sharp sting with one cutting across the back of his arm, a faint hiss elicited from his mouth but not even stopping to see how bad it was.
He let his mind sink back into its natural hunting zone, instantly starting up calculations on the run and rewiring his system to get accustomed to everything but still spinning a bit too far out of his own control. His eyes flashed around to try and find any sort of escape or anything that could benefit them in the moment, desperate for some sort of anchor or leverage. Where do we go? Any hiding spots? How many are there? What gear do they have? Can we turn around and take them? What do we do?
There was a hiss from nearby, Fit whipping his head around to where Pac was waving at him desperately with his feet on the cusp of a small dip in the hill, pointing down to a group of boulders sheltering a small cave entrance isolated away behind them. Fit nodded quickly, sliding down the hill in a shower of dirt before hustling over to where Pac was slipping in between the crevices, a hand reaching out to him with a glimpse of desperate dark eyes.
Fit reached out to snag his hand, and the two figures backpedaled and collapsed together against the back wall with heaving breaths, doing their best to steady their thundering hearts as they heard further calls in the distance and felt the faint patters of the earth from their footsteps. Fit’s hand instinctively shot up to cover Pac’s mouth to hush his breathing, a moment’s pause before Pac’s hand came up and muffled him as well with a certain blaze in his eyes as they could only stare at each other in their rattling silence. They didn’t try to speak, Fit’s eyes straying away with a much louder beat in his ears than before as he closed his eyes to listen instead while feeling Pac’s pulse by his lips under his hand. Wait… Just wait…
There was shuffling of leaves and thundering of dirt, louder thumps above them before stilling as they came to a pause. More calling and chattering above, still muffled by their hiding place as they remained still while they did their best to listen above. There was a bit more shuffling for a moment, followed by a faint but distant cry, “Where did you go? Come on out! Come play!”
Fit could hear the familiar thickened words of Etoiles’ accent from his new red team, eyes flashing open and sharing a startled look with Pac beside him. His companion looked much more afraid now, feeling his chest thumping harder against the faint brush of Fit’s elbow against it as they remained as silent as they could. Neither of them moved, the noise above stilled with only a few hisses and growls from frustrated hunters.
There were only brief acknowledgements in his mind of the position they were in, but Fit didn’t even bat an eye at it as he stayed poised right on top of Pac and clenched his jaw hard enough to feel his heartbeat heavily thud through it. Don’t you dare fucking move. Don’t think, don’t breathe. Just wait. Ain’t no way I’m letting them find us.
Finally, there was another frustrated hiss and the louder thumping of footsteps moving away, staying on top of the hill and moving away as the red hunters shuffled through the rest of the forest, looking elsewhere. Fit and Pac shared the same thought, still not moving as they waited for them to disperse entirely. Pac’s hand had slipped from his mouth, moving down to Fit’s shoulder instead and gripping at the thin strip of clothing lined above his collarbone as his breaths were still muffled by Fit’s hand that didn’t try to move away. They both had evened out, still pressed up against each other and the stony wall behind them until the roof was no longer trembling and they heard nothing but the shivering of leaves in their wake and the soft rustling of pine needles outside trying to soothe the disturbed peace around them.
When the other people were long gone did Fit finally let up and take a few steps back so he was no longer shielding Pac, his brain slowly focusing back in from the silent thudding it had been trapped in as he took a deep breath. Pac followed his breathing a moment after, staying against the wall and leaning his head back with a faint flutter of his eyes, closing them with his inhale and long sigh. Fit pressed one of his hands to his face, closing his eyes as he let his deep breaths shudder through his lungs and remind him that he was still alive and standing. Jesus Christ… That was… Fuck. That was too close.
“Gone?” Pac was the first to break the silence out loud, but his voice was still hoarse and hushed in a thin whisper to not tempt the foes from returning. Fit glanced over at him to see his eyes opening again, brushing his hair out of his face and glancing towards the crease again with a fearful glint still ruminating in his eyes.
Fit took the risky part and edged towards the small peek in the rocks as he glanced in between them, studying the stilled blades of grass scattered on the forest floor and the long fronds from the tree he could see shadowed out and stretching beyond. It all had resumed back to its normal sway, only the faint hums of the forest heard instead of pounding feet, but Fit grunted softly in response, “I think so, but… Don’t wanna peek out too much in case. Might need to lay low for a bit to make sure we aren’t snuck up on and caught.”
Pac let out a soft mumble in agreement, taking a few more steadying breaths and pressing his arms above his head to let his shirt ruffle up a bit more and expose the delicate skin underneath. Fit squeezed back into their small cave, luckily having enough room for around four people to be around and therefore giving them enough space to have a little bit of a personal bubble. They were still a bit closer than normal, but Fit kept his distance to let Pac and himself breathe. Easy… Come back to me, brain. Reconnect. Can’t be vulnerable out here if they’re still around.
He took that moment to let his brain finally register the intimate position they had sandwiched themselves in, face starting to burn as he glanced down at his hand and the feeling of Pac’s mouth situated in it. Parts of his skin felt as if they were starting to welt up as well, now recalling how they had been pressed together with Fit shielding Pac from the entrance to protect him from anything that could have come in. The more the memories returned, the more his face started to flare up until he quickly warmed up again from the cold shivers of sweat that had previously taken over him. Well… Surely we don’t have to acknowledge it, do we? Just a spur in the moment thing, nothing… Nothing more.
Pac didn’t seem too intent on remembering what happened, still having a hand on his face and running back his hair as he finally slouched down to a sitting position with a soft grunt. Fit followed his lead across from him, his legs curled up in the same position as Pac’s and hunched up close to himself, both of them sitting on opposite ends with their feet pointed towards the other’s head. He rubbed his arms and rubbed away the sleek sheens of sweat lining his prickled skin, letting out another breath before turning his head up towards the roof, as if listening beyond. His gaze was contemplative, fingers tapping his head and arm.
Right… Arm... Seeing Pac’s tapping fingers reminded Fit to reach over for his arm where the arrow had seared him, letting out a soft hiss at the angry sting in return and pulling his hand back to see a smear of blood now coating along his fingertips. The aftershock aggravated his wound more, wincing at the awakened throbs his touch caused, and Pac’s head lowered as he heard the sound with an alarmed look. “You okay? Did you get hurt?”
“Got nicked by an arrow,” Fit grunted, rolling his arm off of the wall so it didn’t touch the poking stones behind him. It wasn’t a horrible wound, only stinging mildly, but he still winced from the initial shock and did his best to roll his arm around to try and nullify the stinging there. “Not horrible, I don’t think.” Stings like a bitch though. I’ve had worse, but damn does it burn…
Pac let out a soft noise in worry, shifting so he was on his knees as he crawled up to Fit with an insistent hand held out to him without a moment’s hesitation. Fit blinked at him in surprise at how quickly he moved, but felt his arm go limp as he offered it up while Pac gently situated it in his hand and tilted it out towards the beam of light trickling into the cave, squinting down. Fit turned his head to assess as well; it seemed to have grabbed a good chunk of skin from the velocity with some blood still leaking from it, but it wasn’t super big and could be handled. I can just let it scab over; I’m not worried about it.
But Pac clearly was, a lurch in Fit’s chest as he saw his viciously rip at a portion of his shirt hanging near his ribs with a small huff from the effort, scooting forward and squinting at the wound before reaching again, starting to wind the piece of cloth around his arm. Fit winced from the initial touch, Pac’s eyes softening in apology and continuing only when Fit was settled and not in any noticeable pain again. Fit stayed silent while Pac worked on his craft, his heart thumping much louder now than it was with the physical exertion while he watched the soft hands work to place the bandage over his arm. This is… Normal. Friends do this all the time, right? He’s just… Being friendly…
Pac eventually finished up, his fingers trailing over the bandage with a contemplative hum before glancing up at Fit with a slight head tilt. Fit swallowed, unable to fully clear the lump away or his thumping heart beside the fizz in his as he mumbled, “Thank you.”
Pac gave him a small smile in return, slumping by Fit’s side instead of returning to his corner as he shielded Fit now from the outside world, head resting on the wall with a small sigh. Fit flexed his arm to test out the wrap Pac had; it was a little stiff and awkward to move as he expected, but his heart still softened and mushed up from the gesture, seeing how tenderly it was wrapped. It probably would’ve been fine, but he still…
God, it’s fine. It’s whatever. It’s just a friend thing; I would’ve done it for anyone else too. Could be a pity thing as well… His brain flashed quickly to the memory before his death; of seeing eyes flashing far away with horror. His heart squeezed faintly with it, a small frown returning to his face as he shook his head to try and clear his thoughts. Yeah, right… Just covering for that. Nothing else behind it. Stop trying to make this complicated.
Pac let out a soft noise in question, seeing his head shake with his own head tilt, and Fit let out a small huff and waved his metallic hand on the other side of them dismissively, keeping his reassurance small and blunted, “Nothing.”
Pac pressed his lips together as he studied Fit, clearly not buying it but not wanting to push either. For a moment, both of them simply just stared at each other as they tried to pull their thoughts out with their eyes, feeling Pac’s eyes sinking into his to try and dig up whatever he was feeling. There were a lot of things Fit was feeling; it would take eons even for himself to figure it out. If you figure it out, let me know. Because I have no damn clue what’s going on.
But instead of trying to sink in further, Pac’s eyes drifted downwards now with a line pressed into his lips as his eyes drifted towards Fit’s chest. His eyes lingering made Fit’s chest thump harder, most definitely noticeable if Pac was staring down there, but his quiet voice didn’t seem to imply anything as he instead asked quietly with a slight hitch in the back of his throat, “Are you still upset with me?”
Oh. Shit, well… We’re doing this now? Fit was startled into a few rapid blinks, shifting around and adjusting the small wrap on his arm as he tilted his head down at his companion. He wasn’t sure if he was expecting that, and the uneasy flickers of what felt like static starting to hum under his skin wasn’t entirely welcoming. “Huh?”
“Sorry, I just…” Pac shifted a bit away from Fit, almost teetering outside but remaining against the small cleft of rock sheltering them from the outside world so he wasn’t fully exposed. He rested his head against the rock as the front of his body stayed turned to face Fit, wincing from the soft thud but relaxing when Fit gave him a concerned look. Pac shrugged, nestling further into the wall with his eyes still askance. “You’ve just… Been on edge. Around me, I think. You just seem very tense, and I just wanted to know if… If it was because of me.”
Fit couldn’t help a small chuckle leaving his mouth, confusion still stirring within his chest as he shrugged and glanced behind Pac’s shoulder where the exit was and the howls of hell were nulled by the lulling peace of the forest for now. “Well, we did just get hunted for sport. Probably outnumbered, on the brink of death with nothing on our mind but running as fast as we can.” He shrugged again, turning his focus specifically to Pac’s legs curling up and pressing closer to his chest, trying to look into his clouded eyes with as much conviction as he could. “It’s not because of you; this whole place has me a bit tense.”
It wasn’t entirely true, he could admit. The brief images of pressing up against Pac with their skin fully brushing and his hand situated above Pac’s mouth without a moment’s hesitation. The trust he had seen in Pac’s eyes in that moment alongside his fear, recalling the way his body locked and stiffened thinking about if they tried to get to Pac. It also skirted towards the other’s hands, coated in blood and scratches but having the most gentle grip as he had wrapped a portion of his own shirt around Fit’s arm to stop it from bleeding.
Do forgive me if I seem a bit tense, Fit’s mind chortled, a bit bitterly but also peaked with anxiety as his eyes flicked away for a moment. But with all of these messy as hell feelings in this shithole of a wasteland, it’s a bit hard to try and not be tense with it all. Especially when I don’t understand half of what I’m feeling. So yes, sure, it maybe does have something to do with you. Maybe most of it does. He doesn’t need to know that, though.
Pac didn’t look soothed anyways, squeezing his knees with a few anxieties still flickering within his eyes as he remained dubious. He turned his head away when Fit didn’t try and speak further though, staring at the patch of ground he had previously sat on across from Fit. His voice was subdued, uncertain and uneasy with fiddling fingers dancing on his knees. “I mean, I just… I wouldn’t blame you, after… After what happened with us…”
Fit’s chest clenched thinking of it as well with those brief images he saw before his demise flickering into his mind. He forced himself to try and unclench his jaw, closing his eyes as his body coiled up slightly with tension. He tried to shake his head and shake the memories out of it, chastising himself, Stop it. Don’t hold that against him anymore. I don’t want to. He apologized, I already forgave him. We’re better now.
But… That’s me I’ve been thinking about. Fit snuck a look over at Pac’s face, heart twisting faintly with the brief glimpses of agony and sadness he caught oozing from him. More aches and faint throbs clutched his chest, fingers twitching at the thought. Him? He’s a fucking wreck. He’s still beating himself up over it…
There was a lapse in his heartbeats before they were more steady, still fast but much more sure as his body seemed to soften just slightly with his conviction. I don’t want him to. I don’t want his last thoughts in the face of death thinking I’m upset with him. I’m not.
So how do I fix this? Looking for some sort of sustenance and distraction, Fit did his best to let his body relax as he reached forward for Pac’s wrist hovering nearby in his own fingers. Pac twitched in surprise when a ghost of Fit’s touch was felt, eyes flashing up in alarm and another twitch that almost yanked away his wrist entirely, but Fit secured his grip and kept his gentle hold on him, his voice as soothing as possible as he reassured him gently, “Pac, it’s okay. Really. I’m not mad at you anymore, I swear. I don’t wanna hold that against you, especially since you’ve apologized.”
Pac’s eyes scanned him in surprise, not moving away from his touch but seeing a slight quiver go through his shoulders and feeling the faint thrum under his own hand with his friend’s twitches. His eyes were round and worried, his other set of fingers still twitching anxiously on his knees. “Are you sure?”
I don’t want to lie to him, but I also… God, I hate seeing him like this. Fit hesitated for a moment, studying the worried face in front of him glazed still in that ghostly haze of sadness he had seen. His own hands were twitching a bit, glancing down at his chest where he could still feel the aches of the sword piercing through if he focused on it enough. FIt shook his head again, however, remembering the eyes in the distance in his mind. Stop it. He wasn’t directly a part of it. Give him some mercy.
“It stings a little, but it’s okay. I do forgive you. Just give it a bit of time.” Fit did his best to give him a reassuring smile even though it felt too crooked and loose on his lips, shuffling so the light cascaded down his wrapped arm and along Pac’s face as he scooted a little closer and nudged him with a foot. “We’re on the same team now; things are better. We can put that behind us. We’re okay.”
He hesitated, unable to stop the slight edge in his voice as he added on, “Besides, we do have more important things to worry about. Like winning this stupid war and getting our kids back. I don’t want either of us to be worrying about the other in our potential final moments.”
Pac’s eyes seemed to glisten oddly with his words, a half-way mix of comfort and straying further into despair territory. Fit wasn’t entirely able to read what was going on through his friend’s face, the odd haze still creasing over it covering him from being able to see through especially as Pac turned away, his voice muffed as his lips were buried into his leg with a mumble, “Yeah…”
Fit and Pac sat like that for a few more moments in the silence that was only inhaling the tension thick between them, Fit feeling his face warm up a bit more as he kept a hold on Pac and adding energy to the awkward aura in the room. He glanced up at him, ready to let go at any sign of discomfort, but there was a faint nudge in his heart when he saw Pac’s eyes on his hand as well, a timid but soft expression finally leaking through onto his face with a glimpse of red cheeks in the small peek of light given to them. Fit couldn’t help the sudden forceful twist in his heart, followed by the quiet but affectionate whisper in the back of his mind, There he is. Come on, come back to me…
Both of them remained in their silent flailing in the tension however, Pac’s lips pressed together but not saying anything as his eyes stayed fix on where their hands were close together with an unreadable expression. Unable to stop himself and trying to find some solace in the drowning tension, Fit let out a deep chuckle as he observed teasingly, “You seem really concerned about me. That’s very kind of you.”
Pac’s head tilted up, now lulled out of the small trance he was in looking down at their conjoined skin. His face seemed to turn a little more crimson with the comment, but it seemed to be only for a moment as his expression drooped slightly and he finally tugged his hand out of Fit’s grasp, folding it close to his chest with pursed lips. As Fit’s hand tingled with the loss of touch, his heart sinking a bit lower with a miniature throb in panic, Pac’s muffled voice spoke up from his lap as he burrowed his face into his knees, “I… I wasn’t able to save you the first time. I don’t want it to happen again.”
A fissure coursed through Fit’s chest, the tension finally breaking with the emotional shift that Pac now leaned into. His own lips pressed firmly together, tucking his hand away and he glanced down at the rubble by their feet. Shit. Dammit. Come on, Fit, take it easy on him.
He shouldn’t have to worry about me; I can take care of myself. But his heart was softening, the walls that had been around it always now folding away with the image of Pac cowering now in front of him, only seconds away from bursting into tears. But when was the last time someone cared about me this much? I got friends, sure, but this… This is new.
And God, I don’t wanna break it. I don’t wanna lose it. And I really don’t wanna see him hurting over it all this much.
Fit felt his heart soften once more, shuffling forward and hesitating a moment again before finally reaching up and resting his hand on Pac’s knee, feeling the desperation in his grip he tried to keep light in a plea to stay connected. When Pac didn’t flinch away and only tilted his head back up to blink thickened eyelids up at him, Fit hesitated one last time before reaching out and grabbing his wrist once more, the buzzing in his fingertips subsiding with the gentle grasp as he ducked his head to look into Pac’s wet eyes with a soft smile. “I’ll be alright, Pac. You don’t have to worry about me.”
Pac’s round eyes focused on him as best as they could, blinking with a small sniff and a clear attempt of him trying not to get too emotional seen by Fit. His hand twitched under Fit’s grasp again, but he didn’t try to move away and almost seemed to have a quiet yearning in the back of his eyes he didn’t act on as he looked away instead with the most heartbreaking expression that made Fit’s chest ache even further. I wish I could never put myself in harm’s way again if it continues to make you feel like this. I hate seeing you so upset, and over me especially…
Fuck, what do I do? How can I help him? Right now, all of his body was simply yearning to be closer; to be much closer than they were now. But that was crossing a thin line established; there wasn’t much weight, but it was there. I just… I wanna be close to him.
Fit’s fingers gently brushed against Pac’s skin, a silent attempt at comfort and daring a bit more than usual as it gently ran up from his wrist towards his fingers. There was a faint shudder underneath his touch, but Pac still didn’t pull away as they both registered the new ground they were in, sitting there in the small steps they were taking and soaking in the new territory they were still trying to go through slowly. Fit’s hand felt alight with electricity, eyes fixed down on his fingers as they started stroking along Pac’s slender wrist and trembling when it ran up along his knuckles.
Something. Some sort of solace for the both of us. I have no damn clue where this is in relation to the line, but… I don’t think I care right now.
Pac seemed to eventually sink into it a bit more as his face grew more noticeable in color, finally starting to hide it again as he buried it within his knees. He didn’t try to pull away from Fit’s touch still, but his voice was wavering as he mumbled through his knees, “You don’t get it.”
Do I not? What am I missing? Fit paused with the stroking rhythm of his fingers and tracing his veins as he opted to give him his full attention instead and tilt his head at him. He shuffled against the wall, leaning towards him with a small frown. “What do you mean?”
Pac slowly brought his head back out from his lap, but his eyes still couldn’t quite meet Fit’s as he stared outside at the gap to the outside world that was still humming with its own energy and birdsong in the distance, somehow melodic despite their circumstances. His eyes looked more vacant and clouded than before as his body reflected that through a new line of tension Fit’s fingers found in his hold, Pac’s voice faint and sunken, “Don’t you miss home? Your son? Your old life?”
What? What does he mean? Is this a trick question? Fit blinked over at him, trying to read the mess of emotions on his face under the mess of hair now flowing around it as protection. There was a small lurch from the glimpse of puddling emotions trying to trickle in at the sight, but he reigned himself in as he responded in a confused murmur, “I mean- Of course I do. Doesn’t everyone? I’m doing this for Ramon and the other eggs I can help save. That’s why we’re here, that’s our goal.”
“Right. Exactly.” Pac kneaded his lip in between his teeth, Fit clearly seeing now how his face was glowing with color as he kept his eyes firmly fixed anywhere but Fit’s. There was a return now of the tension as there was a pause in between them, Pac clearly weighing his next words carefully while Fit could only wait with his chest feeling as if it were tugging him down from the heavy weight in the room. Both of them regarded each other still, Fit almost swearing he could see their line they had established within his eyes.
Fit didn’t speak up, only sitting and waiting in the most vulnerable position his heart had been in as he stared at the man that could break it. His breathing was softer but somehow thicker on his mouth, doing his best not to tremble. What are you thinking, Pac? What’s making you so scared?
Talk to me, please. How can I help you?
Pac seemed to squirm slightly from the weight of it all, but he finally gave in as he burrowed his head once more, still trying to hide away but his wrist twitching still in Fit’s hold as his voice came out in a squeak somehow muffled by his lap, “So that’s why I- I want to protect you.”
I mean… I think I could’ve guessed that. But why does this seem… Different? Fit was doing his best to get accustomed to the weird energy around them, glancing down at their hands and resuming the gentle pattern his fingers had started making on his skin as his eyes flicked back up to study Pac and try to understand where he was going. “What do you mean exactly?”
Pac didn’t seem to hear him at first, eyes casted away and clouded still as he fell away into his thoughts. He furrowed his brow before he finally took in a deep breath, eyes closing but head lifting up to try and turn slightly towards Fit. It was only at the last moment when he finally opened his eyes, Fit shuddering at the oddly empty gaze he seemed to hold, now uneasy with the look that was given to him he had never seen before. It was completely raw, the line they had built up now in shambles as Pac’s heart was given entirely to him in the darkness of his eyes. Oh God… Pac…
“Not only did I have to watch you die,” Pac murmured, his voice breaking slightly as he spoke but continued on anyway with the thickened air in between them. His skin was trembling under Fit’s hand, a faint tear escaping from one of his eyes and making Fit’s heart crack just a little more with how sorrowful he sounded. “But now it’s just… Now that we’re on the same team, I just… I want you to win. I don’t want red to win, I don’t- I don’t care what happens to the others on our team if it means you don’t get what you want. I want you to win.”
Fit’s heart felt as if it ran to a complete halt with no more bearings of what was sheltering both of them, choking his breath as his eyes blew wide. He stared at Pac, breathless and in shock as the man shuffled and uncurled slightly so he could see more of Fit, his face clearly red but marching on with a faint spark of certainty in his cloudy eyes. “You deserve to see your son after all of this. Have all of your friends with you. To have the life you want after all of this. Out of all people, you deserve that. And I want nothing more than to give you that, no matter what it takes or what happens to me.”
What…? Fit couldn’t respond for a moment, his brain short-circuiting as it all seemed to run him senseless with the confession. His heart leaped up into his throat, pounding right under his jaw and residing there as he gaped his mouth at him. He tried to find something to say, something to fill the void as Pac finally looked embarrassed and shifted his eyes away, face burning all the while. With his brain spinning, something within Fit’s soul seemed to finally peer above the surface, the release of their borderline now letting it start to rise up. Is he… Is that…? What…?
“Pac, I…” Fit’s breath was still caught in his throat, feeling his pulse thrumming all the way down into his hands and where his skin was touching Pac’s. Both of them stared at each other now with crimson faces and thumping hearts, Fit swallowing to try and shove down the lump in his throat and to try and understand the spinning thoughts in his head. “What… What do you mean? What about you? Why aren’t you-“
Pac cut him off now by shifting in front of him, sitting down on his knees to face Fit and both of his hands now reaching for Fit’s as the slots of warmth instantly seared his skin and made them blaze with the contact. His heart further collapsed his throat, making words unspeakable for a moment as Pac gave him a thin smile that didn’t meet his eyes. The only thing keeping Fit from entirely dissipating was the distant look still in Pac’s eyes, ghostly and haunting as the sad smile lingered on his lips and his eyes casted astray.
I’ve never seen that look on him before… And dear God, do I hate it.
“I don’t matter to anyone, Fit.” Those words were spoken with such clarity, such conviction, it sent Fit into whiplash from the previous energy in the room and yanked him from his thoughts viciously. He could only stare as Pac went on with a waver in his voice, “I don’t- Richas has his other fathers. Mike is… Different. He’s not the Mike I know anymore. I don’t feel like I have anything to return to. I don’t think anyone would really… Miss me.”
Oh, no. No, no. The absolute stone that his words placed in Fit’s chest, grounding him from the airy thoughts and settling him back down on the ground to see the man in front of him. His hands clasped Pac’s even tighter until he could feel the blood rushing between both of their hands, distracted now by the pounding protests in his heart and mind coming to the surface. “Don’t you dare. Don’t say that.”
But Pac wasn’t convinced, the weary smile still on his features as he finally looked up into his eyes. The darkness there, already paired by his deep brown eyes, made them look empty and sightless. It made Fit’s heart crack, the hopelessness in his friend’s voice causing more fissures to spurt through, “It’s true, Fit. Don’t you see? It’s all felt so off since I started those pills, it’s all been so off since our kids went missing. I did nothing but try to be happy from some stupid pills and forget about everything happening.” His voice broke with the next few words, cracking and emotional as he bowed his head with another quiver. “And I already- I betrayed you. I couldn’t save you. I couldn’t even fulfill my promise to you. How can I be around when I’ve only done nothing but hurt you?”
His voice continued to break off, trying to tug his hands away from the ironclad grip Fit had on him. It was to no avail, his eyes swimming now in pools of paranoia and pain as he let out a weak laugh and a shake of his head, the cutting beam of the sunlight accenting his messy hair and the tears now escaping down his cheeks. “If I can’t save you, if I can’t save my team… It’ll be my fault if we don’t get Ramon back. I’ve only been holding us back. Holding you back.”
Oh, hell no. I will not have you put that on your shoulders. Fit gripped his hands even more, willing Pac to look back as his head ducked down further with quivers noticeable on his faintly gasping lips. Fit bowed his along with him, keeping his voice as gentle as possible despite the roaring protests scorching in his body. “Hey, hey. No, that’s not true. I would never blame you for that. You’re not a deadweight, Pac. You’re my friend.”
How long has he felt like this? His own despair was starting to cling onto him like cobwebs, the agony of realization that his friend had been feeling this way now sticking onto him like threads of tar. He did his best to squeeze his convictions and everything he meant into their conjoined hands, but nothing could break through the stained glass expression his friend was bearing. He’s not… I don’t… God, Pac…
But Pac didn’t seem convinced, trying to lean back into the other section of the cave despite their hands being connected. He was out of the sunlight now, the tears still falling as his hopeless smile remained beside the empty glass look that further made Fit’s pulses throb now more in fear. “You know I am, Fit. I don’t matter here. I wouldn’t be that important, even if I helped save the eggs. I don’t matter in the end.”
No. The thought was so loud, a deep rumble within his mind that it further made the odd feelings within his chest start to stir. And deep in his chest where it all resided, he felt it click into place. It teetered on the edge, waiting for a moment as Fit scooted a few inches closer to him and gave him a very gentle but also assertive plea, “Pac, shut up.”
“I’ve only hurt you,” Pac continued to whisper, shaking his head and letting out small hiccups now with his small sobs. He lifted one of his hands up, despite it still being connected to Fit’s, to try and muffle his words into his knuckles with another soft hiccup as his eyes slammed shut. “I couldn’t- I couldn’t protect you. I don’t deserve you.”
No. The click and release in Fit’s chest was starting to burst, everything threatening to come alive in one huge eruption as he finally unraveled his hands to shoot them up to his companion’s cheeks now. Fit tugged him towards him slightly, both of them in catches of the sun now as he gave him another mild warning in an attempt to keep the storm within him as mellow as possible before it fully rolled in, “Pac.”
Pac was trembling still, his hands going up to cover over Fit’s. The tears were still there, his hands shaking when they covered Fit’s as he shook his head slightly in his grasp as he further whispered on, “I’m not good enough, Fit. I’m sorry I couldn’t hold our promise, I’m sorry I couldn’t be a good friend. A good person for you, or good enough for-“
No. Fit squeezed his face with a more firm grip, his heart pounding even further as his voice finally pitched with a slight hint of desperation and the peak of emotions brewing within and now just appearing at the surface, ready to shoot through and take them much farther beyond the line than before. “Pac. ”
I’ll shut you up myself. I swear to God, I will shut you up myself. Don’t you dare keep talking. His hands were trembling where they held Pac, but his grip was still ironclad as he focused on the feeling of his face in his hands. There was no more turning back, but Fit was only looking forward now into Pac’s face as he charged forwards without a second thought. Don’t do it, please.
There was a moment of heavy silence between the two as Pac got shaken out of his mind for a moment, eyes flashing up to him and blinking rapidly through the thickened air now much more tense than anything they had been in before. His eyes were wide again, still teary as he stared at Fit with a hesitant glint and something hidden within his eyes as he studied him. “Fit?”
Fit didn’t relent in his hold or in his intensity, everything pouring over and blaring in his ears. There was something he wanted to do, something he needed, or else everything would feel as if it were burning him up entirely. Pac was staring at him now, somehow still tipping over into one of the best sights he had the blessing of experiencing as he didn’t let him go despite the frantic energy he could feel running below his skin.
You shouldn’t ever feel like this. Not around me, not with me. Never. And I… God, I…
His brain finally fizzled out, running out of thoughts to say as he finally let the steady but quickened beats of his heart guide him forward like he wanted to for ages. Fit brushed his thumbs along where he saw the tear lines and the small droplets on Pac’s cheeks, rubbing his fingers down to where they rested at the corner of his lips. His eyes strayed there too for a moment, face burning with the closeness, but he was able to drag them back up to his eyes and ask in the smallest but most sincere voice he could muster with how choked he was from it all, “Pac, please let me prove you wrong about all of that. Please.”
Pac’s eyes were round in confusion, studying him for a moment before things finally seemed to start clicking for him with the ripple in his eyes. There was a hitch of breath in between his small sniffles, finally giving Fit a nod that made everything within him burst as he finally surged forward, eyes closing and hands bringing Pac in as he kissed him at last. The dam that seemed to have held everything by crumbling foundations finally let loose, pouring further and melting his heart in golden ichor rich in floods of adoration as Pac finally leaned back into him, lips moving in response and his hands going to the collar of Fit’s shirt to tug him in with just as much desperation as Fit had.
They both wasted no time in soaking in what they had wanted for ages, Pac now situated in between Fit’s legs and kissing him just as earnestly as Fit was as their hands didn’t dare stray from the other’s touch. Fit could feel Pac’s death grip from one hand on his shirt, the other hand delicately tracing a portion of his collarbone and floating up to the pulses in his neck. Fit situated Pac’s face into one hand, pressing his palm into his cheek to cradle it while the other hand caught on the portion of his shirt ripped up for his arm’s bandage before it circled around his waist to bring Pac even closer, finally within distance to feel the heat radiating from the rest of his body. He kept his hand in the center of his back, letting himself taste the absolute yearning that seemed to be returned from Pac and the soft sigh he let out with their kiss. It was all flowing and mixing with Fit’s own desires, not realizing how scraped and scarred his body was until Pac’s soft lips were on his.
It was an unfamiliar feeling, one he knew his past self would yell at him for. This vulnerability in this capacity would’ve sent the old Fit straight into the grave with how dangerous it was. To be this vulnerable, to love something or someone this much… Would’ve gotten me killed. Could still lead to dangerous things. That’s why that line was there for both of us; both of us didn’t want to feel this because of the risk it has.
But with every thought of how dangerous it was, the more Fit wanted it. The more he tightened his grip on Pac’s waist, the more earnest he made the kisses as he let himself feel it all at last. And Pac only reciprocated further, the grip on his collar more intense and the hand trailing to run along Fit’s ribs and rest on his hip as well with fingers curling into the creases over his shirt. They both basked in the sliver of sunlight they were offered, and Fit basked in all of these emotions with an internal heavy sigh of relief of his own.
I didn’t know what this was like. I didn’t let myself feel this way. But then I met Ramon. And then I met Pac. And now things are a bit more complicated. But now that I have these feelings, this family and this person I love… There’s no way in hell I’m giving it up. I’m not letting any of it go. And I wouldn’t change it for the damn world.
Both of them finally disconnected to reach for air, their breaths lost again and seemingly a bit more taken away than their sprint away from the enemies that had been chasing them before. Both of their faces were the same shade of red, staring at each other with slack jaws and shining eyes. Fit did his best to remember it, letting his heart pound in joy at the wondrous but elated expression now sweeping away the clouds that had been in Pac’s eyes. And as he gained his bearings, Fit acknowledged out loud with a small breath, “So that’s- That’s what this is. That’s what we were hiding from.”
Pac faltered for a moment as his hands fell to Fit’s sides, looking up and stuttering in between breaths he tried to catch as rose-colored tints still rubbed over his cheeks, “H-Huh?”
Fit let out a small breathless laugh of his own, situating his hands underneath Pac’s so he could reach for his hips and tug him closer. With a faint squeak from Pac as he was tugged onto his lap, the taller man finally let himself admit with a crooked smile, “I’ve been trying to figure out how I felt for ages. What we are, what all I was feeling but couldn’t quite pinpoint down. I thought it would take me ages to figure it out, but when you were saying all of that… I just… God, I couldn’t keep it hidden anymore.”
He let his eyes flick over the man now within his grasp, one hand moving back up to Pac’s face and gently cupping his cheek. Pac jumped in surprise, feeling burning heat coming from his skin as he let Fit cup it in his hand while he ogled him with the most abashed and wondrous expression still that made Fit nothing but giddy and flushed with adoration once more. He was clearly struggling with his words, mouth fluttering open and closed as he tried to stammer out, “Fit, I-“
Fit wasn’t going to let him try, the hand on his waist tugging him in and his fingers rubbing the soothing message into Pac’s face as he breathed out firmly and full of the most certainty he had ever felt, “Pac, I need you. God, I need you so bad. You have no idea how dull that stupid morning sun is when you’re not with me, and you had no idea how lonely it was not being beside you when we first got sent here. It was Purgatory because you weren’t with me.”
All of the worries now cleared away from Pac’s eyes, now happily replaced by his entirely bright red face and the flustered expression there while he gave Fit a blushing but tiny smile from disbelief as his body quivered faintly on top of him from all of the emotions finally being released. “Fit…”
Fit gave him a faint smile of his own, squeezing his hip briefly to get his point across while his other thumb traced his lips and went down to his jaw, his fingers brushing away a few strands of hair to see his face better. He met his eyes, making sure they were connected before he murmured, “I want you. That’s what this feeling is. Wanting to be around you and be beside you through everything. When I think of life after Purgatory, my ideal life I would want, it has my son and you. It has you right beside me. And it won’t be complete without you, I know that for a damn fact.”
Now at last he could see his words taking hold, Pac leaning fully into his hand and reaching up to cover his with a tearful grin. Her let out a flustered laugh, Fit’s heart soaring as he saw a small grin fighting its way onto Pac’s lips. “Fit…”
God, I forgot how beautiful your smile was and how much I love seeing it. Fit tucked him in closer, now feeling Pac’s legs unfurl and wrap around his waist as they got even closer to each other. All of Fit’s body was glowing and filled with light, letting out a soft chuckle at the thought with a smile as he continued running his fingers along Pac’s shining face. “God, I can’t believe it took this long to figure it out. To figure out what this all was. It feels good to finally know.”
Pac was still giving him a small smile, still looking as elated as Fit felt, but he saw a brief flicker appear in his eyes as he gazed at him. His eyes flicked aside to Fit’s hand, closing them briefly as he took in a shaky inhale while he clarified gently, “Fit are you… Are you sure? Even after everything, are you…”
His hand twitched where it covered Fit’s, opening his eyes again at last and giving Fit a long look. It was clearly agonizing at the thought of leaving it all, especially after what occurred now, but Fit understood the conflict there as Pac stressed once more, “Are you sure?”
Oh, Pac. You dumb, beautiful soul. Fit couldn’t help but let out a soft huff, adjusting his hand to make Pac look back up into his eyes. His arm tightened around his waist again too, startling another small squeak from Pac and returning some of the lost color into his face while Fit reassured him firmly but affectionately, “I’ve never been more sure of something in my life, Pac. You’re who I want beside me at the end of it all. You make me happy. You make me vulnerable. And it’s scary as shit, but it’s worth it. It’s worth it for you.”
Pac was glowing in their line of sunlight, looking breathless again as he stared down at Fit. So many emotions seemed to be swimming around in his eyes, some Fit were still unable to fully interpret as Pac could only return his gaze wordlessly. He could feel their heartbeats synching up with the thumping evident in Pac’s chest, his heart matching it while they gazed at each other. “I…”
For a moment, as he saw the faint clouds still filtering around in his eyes, did Fit finally hesitate after it all. His hands started drifting slightly off of Pac’s skin, a few of his own doubts starting to stir with a blunted but earnest kick in his gut. Maybe this wasn’t the right time. We are in a death zone after all… “Shit, I… Do you… Not-“
He was instantly stopped by Pac surging forward, a muffled yelp silenced by Pac’s lips as he responded by kissing him once more. The force of his movement pushed Fit back into the wall, a soft thud behind him as his hands went down to pull Pac closer, gripping and secure. Pac’s hands had found Fit’s face, holding it gently and continuing to run his fingers along his cheeks even after he pulled away from the kiss. It was only for a moment, but the energy that surged from the other felt as if it could fuel him for days. Jesus Christ.
As Fit sat there for a moment, dazed beyond comprehension, Pac let out a quiet giggle and held his face when giving him the softest look that instantly made his heart fold over and his chest flare with warmth, everything swirling around in a numbing joy as Pac confirmed, “No, I do. I very much do.”
Fit was still trying to recover from the jolt of their kiss, but Pac’s words sent a breathless grin to his face as they now both shared a dopey smile on their lips as their bodies shared the peek of sunlight they sat in. He secured his arms more around Pac, tugging him in now for a hug as he chuckled. “Oh. Perfect. Good. Thought so.”
Pac giggled as he was brought into Fit’s chest, head tucked now underneath his chin. There was a small pause as their laughter died off, Fit feeling Pac’s fingers tighten on his collar and drift around his chest as his voice came up muffled but still rich in nerves, “I just… Worry. For it all. For if things aren’t better afterwards, if we somehow don’t get the eggs back and it’s all… What if it doesn’t work? What if it’s still awful?”
A tighter grip coursed through Fit’s collar with the rest of his shirt bunching up from the force as Pac’s hands clenched him, a sudden shudder coursing through him when he felt lips on his skin as Pac whispered the words right over his collarbones, “I don’t… I don’t want to mess up again. I don’t want to lose you.”
Fit’s heart caved and quietly fissured a bit more, holding onto him a bit tighter. He closed his eyes and breathed it all in; this moment, holding him against his chest and embracing the peace despite the apocalypse they were in. He let his brain sift back in only for that moment, taking Pac’s words to heart as he considered it all.
We are more vulnerable now because of this. I mean, everyone was already aware of our “roommate” situation that there was… Something else going on. That we were closer than others. We were already vulnerable. And even with this good thing in our life now, there’s still no telling what the world is like outside of this cave at the end of the day. We still don’t know if we can save everyone, save our kids, and get the life we really want.
His fingers trailed through Pac’s hair again, trailed along the skin underneath his shirt and playing with the tears again where Pac had sacrificed a portion of his cloth for the wrap around Fit’s arm that Pac’s hand was brushing near. The sacrifices they were both willing to make, the love and care already between them…
It makes us more vulnerable for sure, but it does also make us powerful. It already makes me feel even more hopeful for finding the kids, for getting out of this island. If I’ve got him by my side, much closer than before… It’s an anchor. It’s some sort of grace during this hellhole. I want him by my side, I know that. And I know it’s risky, but…
I don’t want to do this alone. I never really wanted to. I want to do this with him. I want to do it all with him now, because God it feels good to finally trust someone that I believe in wholeheartedly. And if he’s killed me once before, if I can still feel this way about him… I don’t want to let him go.
I won’t ever let him go. His brain finally settled down as he exhaled with his somewhat organized thoughts, as much as they could be. He let one of his hands come up to run through Pac’s hair again, using it as an anchor of sorts as he rumbled, “Well… At least we’d have each other, right?”
There was a small shift of movement below, Fit seeing Pac’s face peeking up and giving him a deer-eyed look that made his face burn with the softness and hope there. Fit let out a soft chuckle, curling his hand up and around to cup Pac’s face gently and hold the softness there. “I know, cheesy as shit. But even if we don’t know what’s gonna happen next, I know I’d be able to handle it better with you by my side. We’ll handle whatever comes our way together.”
Pac’s eyes widened even further somehow, his face burning, and Fit felt his smile widen seeing it. There's nothing that would ever take you away from me now. Not when I get the chance to see you like this now forever. His hands tightened whatever hold they had on him, keeping him as close as possible as he let his words ghost over the skin on his face, “You also would never lose me, no matter what you think. Even if you mess up, I know that we can get through it. I’ll probably mess up too. I’ve messed up a lot of things before.”
His fingers traveled over the small cut on Pac’s chin and the small discoloration on his skin under his eye, his own flicking up to meet him and see the glow within them as he could only stare and listen to Fit’s words. Fit kept them as firm and as soft as possible, full of conviction and adoration both that flowed with all of the strength and love he had ever felt. “We’re a bit messy, and that’s okay. I still wanna be messy with you, no matter what it is. I want you, Pac, and I don’t wanna let you go.”
Pac’s eyes seemed to sprinkle a bit in moisture, a soft hitch of breath felt through his own body with their closeness. He let out a shaky exhale afterwards, reaching one of his hands to rest over Fit’s and gently twine his fingers in him as he gave Fit a trembling grin that was still filled with uncertainty but glowed nonetheless as he let out a small whisper, “Okay.”
For a moment, Fit hesitated as he saw the conflict running around in Pac’s eyes even as he leaned into his touch more. Fit swallowed the small knob in his throat, his fingers on Pac’s hip tapping with uncertainty as he regarded him hesitantly. Maybe I came off a bit too strong. Going from nothing to this, maybe I shouldn’t have… “If that’s… Okay with you. If that’s what you want, unless it’s… Too much.”
Pac’s eyes flashed open instantly, his hand squeezing Fit’s even tighter and scooting all the way up on Fit’s hips, eliciting a sharp inhale from the man he was still sitting on as he reached down to settle his hand back on Pac’s hip. He started nodding afterwards, leaning closer and his words coming out in quick stammers, “It is! I just- I want you to be happy. I want you to be sure.”
Fit took a moment to let his fluttered breathing settle from the movement, taking that time to soak in Pac’s insistent eyes and one hand coming back up to run along Fit’s neck and chest. Their breathing finally matched up, Fit feeling his chest grow alight with Pac’s faint touch as he finally chuckled again and felt his smile widening. “I want you to be happy too, idiot. So stay with me.” Squeezing his hip once more, he added in a quieter plea, “Please.”
He saw Pac hitch again with his breath, a bright burning face making Fit’s chest shine even more as he finally relaxed, letting out a relieved smile as he closed his eyes in bliss. “Okay… Okay. I will.”
Fit grinned, wrapping his arm around his torso now to pull Pac back into his chest in a hug. Pac let out another faint squeak from the movement, his cheeks burning more with his widening smile as his hand ran through his hair and fiddled with the strands there. It was all a mess, much messier than it had ever been with no proper combing or treatment in Purgatory, but it was now Fit’s favorite thing and would forever have the touch lingering in his fingertips. “Good.”
Pac let out a small mumble in response, but Fit wasn’t able to hear what it was and didn’t push it when Pac only nestled in further, content in hiding away into Fit’s chest. Both of them fell into a comfortable silence, the sun slanting down and letting in more of an orange gleam into their cave. Fit had him close, Pac’s lean arms fully around his waist as he hugged him and kept his face buried into Fit’s chest as his gentle breaths warmed his collarbones and the divot right into his chest. Fit didn’t dare try to push him or move, letting a content smile linger on his face.
We’re in the epitome of hell, yet there’s nothing more I’ve wanted then to be here. And there’s no other place I’d rather be.
It was only a little past then when Pac finally mumbled a bit louder so Fit could hear, shifting slightly in Fit’s hold, “Do you think those people are gone now? Will our teammates be looking for us?”
I don’t care if they weren’t gone; I’d kill all of them if it meant keeping you safe. Fit tilted his head up towards the roof, giving a moment to listen but knowing they were much too far gone to worry about them anyways. He still offered his companion a shrug, humming thoughtfully. “They’re probably gone. And yeah, our team might be looking for us. We’ve been gone for a while.”
Pac copied Fit’s motion, blinking a little out of Fit’s chest to try and listen along before trusting Fit’s word and nuzzling back in, letting out a small huff of his own. Fit could feel the smile on his skin, a soft lingering touch on his neck that took all of his energy to not let his back shudder as Pac murmured into his neck, “Nothing wrong with staying a little longer though, right?”
Fit closed his eyes and tilted his head back, hands tightening around Pac’s form to keep him as close as he could. “Yeah… Yeah. I’m not in a rush.” Don’t ever take me away from here.
Pac let out a soft giggle, seeing Fit’s bumbling reaction and snuggling back into his body. They spent a good chunk of their own alone time simply staying in their cuddle spot, Pac comfortably nuzzled in with Fit still running his fingers through his hair and then along his back. He felt all of the taut muscles Pac gained from Purgatory and all of the rips in clothing, all of the little cuts and bruises he remembered seeing in the light earlier from the sun. He tried to let his fingers run along each one, hoping the love and adoration oozing from his own skin helped soothe them somehow.
It did seem to help with Pac relaxing into each touch, but Pac eventually pulled away from him slightly, only giving him a small twitch of a smile that sent Fit’s head haywire as his companion leaned back in, this time locking their lips together once more. A deep inhale came from Fit at the gesture and the warmth now pooling down through his system, instantly relaxing as Pac’s hands moved to his face and ran along his skin. He could feel the burns of previous cuts soothed by Pac’s cool skin, the newer laceration touched by some sort of magic when Pac’s fingers grazed over the bandage as if it wasn’t ever in pain in the first place.
All of it made Fit’s head fuzzy, much fuzzier than anything before. And he drank it all in, keeping Pac close and vowing quietly to himself, I'm never leaving you again. Nothing could pull me away from you.
It was only when Pac’s lips teased at his neck, a faint smirk on them as Fit’s body jolted with the touch, did they finally hear a shout from nearby and slightly above that made them both jump out of their own skin, “Fit! Pac! You both down there? You two better not be shagging!”
Pac pulled his lips off of Fit’s neck, Fit only feeling the sting of it briefly before he pinched his grip on Pac and whipped his head towards the cave entrance, one hand coming up to hold Pac’s head close and guard him from whatever was creeping in. As they stayed resting on and against each other, a familiar figure finally shoved his way through the grass and poked his blonde-brown head in, blue eyes flashing as he took in the sight of the two men staring at him before he groaned loudly. “Oh, bloody hell, they’re making out!”
“Hey, easy there!” Fit huffed, his fingers twitching in Pac’s hair as he continued holding onto him. Even with his friend’s teasing and exasperated face, Fit couldn’t find it in himself to let go of Pac just yet as he glowered in defense. Pac didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave either, feeling a brush of his nose and faint giggling by his neck as he hid into Fit’s chest.
“You can’t say that to me when you’re literally holding him like that and slobbering all over him!” Tubbo reprimanded, waving a dramatic hand at them and backing up out of the cave with a hiss. “Come on, out! Both of you! Get off of each other! I don’t wanna know what I interrupted!”
“Take it easy, damn!” Fit hollered back at him, Pac now bursting out in laughter as Fit finally gave in and joined, snickering and rolling his eyes as he finally let Pac go when he scooted out of his grasp. He felt much colder now without him fully pressed against him, but Pac’s hand reached out to him to help him onto his feet and didn’t let go as he gave it a faint squeeze, lifting it to his mouth and giving Fit’s fingers a quick kiss as well.
Fit’s face burned, blinking and giving him a flustered smile as Pac tugged him outside back into the emerald-clementine light of early sunset. The forest greeted their return back into the world, dripping in hazy evening splendor and swaying slightly within the faintest of breezes coursing through. More blue team members of theirs flocked around with the escort, but Tubbo was still giving them an unimpressed look as he eyed their two conjoined hands. “You two had enough of that?”
Fit let out a huff again, nodding to his team leader while still not letting go of Pac’s hand. As Pac gave Tubbo a wide and innocent grin, Fit only gave Tubbo a steeled look in return. “Yes, we’re fine. We’re fine.”
Tubbo wrinkled his nose at them, rolling his eyes as he finally waved another dramatic hand again and turned his back to them, calling out loudly, “Let’s head back then before we’re caught. No smooching on the way there. Smooch free.”
“Yes, sir,” Pac chirped before Fit could shout out a rebuttal, letting the Brazilian give him a cheesy smile as they started on their way back home in guarded company. The trees were whispering again, but they seemed much brighter and more joyous in their windy whispers as they noticed the two men now holding hands instead of distancing like before. Fit couldn’t help but smile at it all, even with the horrid sun and the apocalypse ready to collapse on them at any moment. Can still take on the world if it means keeping his hand in mine. Dunno when I became such a romantic, but I think it works.
There was a faint squeeze from the hand in question, followed by a soft note to catch Fit’s attention, “Hey.”
As Fit turned to Pac, the man stepped up to him and gave him another firm squeeze of his hand, still smiling faintly but having a deeper and more determined glow in his eyes similar to before, showing all of his heart and soul to him. “I’m still gonna make sure you get that happy ending at the end of this. No matter what it takes.”
Fit’s chest was sent into a faint shower of sparks, squeezing his hand in return and bringing up his metal one to gently cup Pac’s face again. He gave him a small smile in return, stepping closer so they were both encased in orange-gold light under the shower of tree leaves. He made sure to memorize as much as he could within those eyes and smile, keeping it safe and sound within his heart. “As long as this happy ending has you in it. That’s what I want.”
Pac’s smile unfurled into a grin, and they both understood the silent message as they leaned in to kiss again under the shining sun. Even with all of the dangers hissing and bubbling around them, even with everything that was happening and the worst Fit knew was yet to come, Fit held on and kissed Pac like the rest of the world didn’t matter. And he got that reciprocated, warm lips and hands and all, as they pulled apart to grin against the other’s lips.
Only when Tubbo screamed back at them again did they fully pull apart, laughing softly to themselves and Fit rolling his eyes at the dramatics. Pac made sure to keep one pair of their hands ensnared, fingers locking with Fit’s as he tugged him along with a smile that would have Fit locked in an instant no matter what. His feet obediently followed, heading back out towards Hell and the home that resided there.
There’s still so much we gotta do; we still need to win this thing. He squeezed Pac’s hand again, the tension within his chest subsiding with the squeeze in return. He looked up through the trees to where the sunbeams cut through, watching them accent Pac’s shoulders and hair as he watched his world glow with a small smile.
At least I got some sort of glimpse of Heaven though to keep me going through this hellhole. And there ain’t no way I’m letting him go.