Work Text:
“Roll for dexterity”
The room the group sat in was, as perhaps only a room that exists in a mindscape could be, impossibly messy. When assembling their living space, they couldn’t touch recent or important memories, so they had to build the humble abode out of what they could find.
“17.”
The Count of Monte Cristo, Edmond Dantes, King of the cavern, Avenger, “Asshole lightning wizard” (a name used mostly when he was out of earshot) was seated on large gold chair, borrowed from the memories of a strange bar. While he was not fond of the spider, at least he had good sense in furniture.
When he had arrived first, he had lived in darkness, which didn`t particularly bother him. His job was to protect his master`s mind, after all, not bunk in her head!
The others however, once they arrived, had different ideas.
“You jump over the gap with ease, looking back to your companions.”
Merlin, the mage of flowers, sat himself comfortably on a rather large pile of plushies. More specifically, large cartoonish caricatures of Fou, his “Arch-Rival” (as declared exclusively by the fourth beast). While Merlin claimed it was a “subtle” taunt, the others knew well he picked the seat because it was comfortable.
Merlin wasn’t a permanent resident of the master`s head, often lurking around the knights of the round, but he could come and go as he pleased, much to the master`s chagrin. Thankfully, her personal memories were kept personal, thanks to the… “reassuring presence” of a fairly reliable Wizard repellent.
“21.” “I don’t think that’s how this works, but the dice says it, I suppose… damn mind bullshit…” “language.”
First Hassan, King Hassan, Old man of the mountain, or most often, much to his chagrin, Gramps, simply sat by the table. As the one of the master`s personal guardians, he often lurked in her head when not working, mostly to keep the more nefarious servants in check. On his lap sat Abigail Williams. She mostly followed King Hassan around, since his presence kept certain… issues… at bay. The duo formed one player, and thus, thanks to the magic of the mind, their dice fused together. It left their character as the strongest by a mile.
"...12"
The biggest shock of their impromptu Table top session was the fact that they convinced Oberon to play a story-based game, let alone one managed by Merlin. Typically, the mage of flowers would find talking to the Moth quite impossible, but the mind made it work. He would forget again once he left the brain, but that hardly bothered either party.
The only reason they could convince Oberon to play was out of sheer boredom and the fact that they had already made him a character, knowing full well he couldn’t leave a story to die so quickly. Despite this, his small stool, borrowed from one of the masters many trips to Japan across time, spent most of it`s time empty.
“ONE!? REALLY!?”
The last member of their table, BB, who really just wanted to get info on the master at first, but kind of just floated afterwards, sitting at the end opposite of Merlin on a sleek chair straight out of a certain starship, was clearly devastated. Questioning why she ever came to Merlin`s game nights, she sighed, waiting to hear the results.
“while most of you make it across the chasm, BB falls into the pit, managing to repeatedly bounce of the side walls, somehow miraculously building up enough momentum to rise back up. Critical fail.”
As some members of the motley group chuckled at the usually smug woman`s misfortune, The Count began to question if he should start locking the door to the master`s brain behind him.
Once the game had ended, the group began to pack up their stuff.
This process was, of course, surprisingly simple. When all you have to do to pack up shop is to “unremembered” the furniture, the process becomes fairly simple.
Except when you’re Merlin.
The count prodded the mage of flowers with an old cane. “Out. The masters going to sleep soon, and I don`t want you haunting her dreams with your presence”.
Merlin sighed dramatically, feigning weakness. “Oh, but my dear Count, this mind is simply so… Comfortable! I couldn’t possibly leave just yet.”
The Count, used to the mage`s shenanigans, looked to his simple solution.
“Out.”
The Hassan always got the mage out quicker than he could.
The group went quiet.
“Huh. Usually, my little escape route doesn’t malfunction like this…”
The group looked around the mindscape as reality set in.
They were stuck.
“Well shit. Looks like somethings going on with master. Can`t we go one day without anything happenin-”
Oberon would have his answer as a strange haze, not willed by any of the group to appear, skulked into the room.
As this haze entered, the Adults of this group looked at each other, blinking.
Abigail Williams, knowing more then she often looked to, sighed darkly.
“Well damn. Master`s doing the deed, isn`t she?”
“Fuck.” “That sounds exciting!” “Why not with me!?” “Correct.”
As the group turned to each other, they all felt the same strange feeling. Dread, mixed with a slowly rising presence of a certain other emotion.
Abigail looked to the group. Thankfully, due to the dispositions of her master, she remained unaffected.
“I think I am going to leave now”.
“Please do."
And with a click of the silver key, the adults were left to their own devices.
The room had quickly been modified to suit the needs of the group. With the feelings going on at the time, none of them thought to question why the master had such vivid memories of a padded room. Most thoughts led to Nightingale.
BB, suddenly feeling far more vulnerable in her standard outfit, looked to her cohorts, dared to ask the question that was in most of the groups mind. “Now what?”
Merlin, who was miraculously more used to this then the rest of them, spoke first.
“We wait, I suppose. I guess we should have seen this coming, what with all the advancements master was making with Them. But I suppose if you all can`t keep it in your pants you can always just go sit in a corner and… wait a minute.”
As Merlin pulled at the hem of his pants, the people in the room saw Merlin`s serene face turn to one of fear.
The count looked to the caster with a look of frustration that rivalled even El Melloi II`s greatest scowl. “You don’t have one down there, do you.”
“Our master has never seen thine penis, and thus it is filled in with empty space.”
“You don`t have to word it like that!”
As BB and the count looked down, they found the same issue applied to them. King Hassan probably didn’t have one. Hopefully. Maybe?
All eyes turned to the one person who hadn`t said a word.
While Oberon intended to speak seriously, it was interrupted by his sheer bewilderment.
“WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WITH A DICK?”
It turned out that seeing the insect of the abyss was close enough for the master`s brain to have considered him naked, so their mind “graced” The king of fairies with the private parts granted to none else in the room.
Of course, Oberon wouldn’t touch anyone else in the room with a 30 foot pole, so the others were left to deal with their emotions on their own.
It had been two hours, and the people stuck in the master`s mind were beginning to get desperate.
As BB banged against the wall of room, as if it would effect the outside world, she groaned. “For...For the love of god could you speed it up a little out there?!”
Merlin, beginning to falter, chuckled dryly. “Heh., and here…here I thought you would have wanted our dear master to last a little… longer.”
“You KNOW that’s not what I mean you... you Dick wizard!”
The arguing was interrupted by faint laughter.
The count left the corner where he was working on “the way out.”
In the laughing count`s shaking hands, the group saw a large, clean shaft of... stone.
“We`ll have to make do. This should at least either diminish these feelings in our heads or have us die trying.”
The group was shocked. It turned out all it took to turn the count of Monte Cristo to the dark side was to wait two hours while in a land that seeped with literal refined Oxytocin.
As the whole group looked to the last seemingly sane member of their group, the most devout of all the Hashashin, all hope of a peaceful solution to leaving their master`s brain was lost.
“As Abigail says… fuck it.”
The master of Chaldea opened their eyes slowly, but once she realised she wasn`t in her room, she quickly snapped to attention. She quickly found that she was in the infirmary, seemingly unharmed, with 4 servants occupying the rooms other beds, and Abigail Williams, reading a book, sitting on one of the rooms visitors chairs.
Abigail looked to the master and smiled.
“I see your finally awake. I am glad none of last nights events caused you harm.”
The master sighed. What happened this time? All she remembered was going to bed after having a fun night with…someone? She forgot who.
“Care to elaborate, Abigail?” “This better be good”
“Oh course, Master. While I do applaud you for your fun last night, congrats by the way, you and your partner should be great, you DID forget to make sure that no one was in your head while you did it.”
"Well shit” “Oh dear.”
“Oh dear would be correct. Being trapped in the head of a master during… fun times… can lead to some poor effects on a servant`s psyche. At least after a while they got spit out. We took you with just in case.”
The master looked to the servants in the room. Abigail looked perfectly fine, which thankfully meant she got out safely. BB, Oberon and Merlin got out with minor scrapes and bandages by their lower halves, which she figured could mostly be blamed on whatever they used to substitute an assumed lack of private parts, as well as Oberon`s sharp, creepy bug legs, which were thankfully hidden behind his normal form. The rooms last occupant, however,…
“what happened to him?” “looks more like the count of Monte Cut-up-so now”
The eternal avenger was clearly the most affected, covered head to toe in bandages. In fact, the only reason the master could tell it was him was thanks to his trademark hat and scarf, still resting on his head.
“Oh, him? He was apparently affected the worst affected by the whole thing, residual build-up of energy and all that, so he went a little wild. As far as I can tell, he threw himself at the biggest thing he could find. Which happened to be the spikiest person in the room.”
The master groaned, and looked at the count, who, unlike the other three, seemed to be awake.
“And what do you have to say for yourself?”
The count of Monte Cristo, one of Chaldea`s strongest, muttered a simple response.
“worth it.”
The shared room of the Hassans` typically only had three people within it. After all, the great founder was always busy, meaning his spot was mostly there as a symbol. However, he had kicked out the trio of Hassans, and had not left the room, which meant that something was up.
One brave soul volunteered as sacrifice.
Hassan of the rain swallower hadn`t done much in his brief existence, but he would make up for it with a grand gesture.
As he manifested himself into the large room, he found the Large Hassan sitting at his table, seemingly staring into the void.
“L-lord founder? Is everything alright?
“Thou shalt not speak of this.”
“Founder, we would like to help yo-“
“THOU SHALT NOT SPEAK OF THIS!”