Actions

Work Header

such a funny feeling

Summary:

okay so hear me out jenny alderson but she's queer and has her very first real crush (this is important to me)

Notes:

pinterest board for this fic:

https://pin.it/5YXYJV8

update: i cant believe i partially predicted doris

Work Text:

Jenny felt a little like she was going to throw up. She thinks to herself that she doesn't want to feel anything else ever again.

----

The girl had arrived in the dales only a month ago, coming for the summer to help her aunt and uncle, as her uncle had injured his back. The poor lass had been clueless. She hadn't had any suitable clothes, and she had no choice but to muck up in a dress and saddle shoes. When Jenny first saw her, something pulled in her stomach. She saw this strange girl, shorter than herself, with her perfect silky curls, rosy cheeks, and elegant yet casual dress, stroking the nose of a lost sheep that had wandered all the way to the corner of her aunt's property, and it was like staring at a painting.
Next thing she knew, the girl was in the mud, and the sheep was running back to the flock. She stared for a moment, frozen in both shock and….another strange feeling, before hopping the fence to help the other girl up, and to walk her to her aunt's house to change.
"Oh..Oh, thank you! I'm really sorry you had to see that, it was quite embarrassing! I haven't the foggiest as to what I'm meant to be doing. My aunt doesn't explain things very well."
Jenny blinked, her mouth working faster than her brain.
"A-ah, no it's alright! It happens more often than you think. You're not…dressed, which doesn't help."
Oh my God.
"For work, I mean. Obviously you are dressed-"
She decides to just stop right then before she makes it worse.
"I'm Jenny, by the way. Alderson."
The girl smiles, and Jenny feels that ache in her stomach again.
"Ella. It's very nice to meet you. You're very kind."
Jenny feels her face get a little hot. What is happening to her?
They thankfully arrive at Ella's aunt's house, and the girl thanks her again before going inside. She makes the trek all the way back to her own house, feeling that strange pull in the pit of her stomach again.

The next day she bucked up the courage to stop by the aunt's house, and she brought over an old pair of Helen's overalls. Jenny had worn them too, but she had grown out of them. They were very, very worn, but it was what they had to spare. Ella thanked her profusely, as if she had given her a car, rather than a single worn out hand me down.

----

The next time that Jenny saw Ella out working, she was wearing the overalls, but she had sewn her own patches and embroidery into the holes and worn-out parts of the fabric. That funny little feeling was back in the pit of Jenny's stomach. Ella caught sight of her, smiling and waving. Jenny waited a few seconds too long before reacting and waving back, and Ella chuckled softly. The pit in Jenny's stomach tightened,and she turned back to her work, her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment.

----

She ran into the other girl next while they were in Darrowby, at the market. Ella seemed excited to talk to her. Jenny almost wanted to avoid her, but found herself near giddy when the other girl called out for her anyway. The two girls talked for a while, with Ella asking for tips on different chores as they made their way through the market together. Jenny felt like she was a nervous wreck. Ella didn't seem to notice, and if she did, she was gracious enough to not say anything. God, what was wrong with her? She's usually praised for being clever, being quick witted and sarcastic…but as soon as she's looking at Ella, it suddenly takes all of her focus to not stumble over her words, or say something odd. Despite this, Jenny finds that she doesn't want to stop talking to her. She wants to come over and help her with her chores, she wants to run into her in the market every time she goes, and she has no idea as to why. She realises she hasn't been paying attention, and is suddenly brought out of her thoughts when Ella sighs, seeing the bus stopping for one of its runs out of Darrowby.

"Well, I'd better head back. Are you coming with?"
Jenny takes a moment to process.
"Er, ah no. Not this time, sorry."
Ella's face falls, but she nods. There's that feeling in Jenny's stomach again.
"Oh, alright. I'll see you tomorrow then?"
"Yep! Unless you want me to come over later and show you how to fix that gate?"
Oh my God!
Ella's face lights back up again, and she smiles.
"Yes please, that'd be lovely!"
Jenny feels like she's going to throw up.
"Alright! I'll see you after tea then, yeah?"
Ella nods, and makes her way to the bus, leaving Jenny standing in the market, concerningly giddy, squeezing the life out of a carrot.

Before she goes back to Heston Grange, she stops by Skeldale to talk to Helen.
She usually has good advice about emotions.
She finds herself sat across from her at the kitchen table with a cuppa while Mrs. Hall works in the background.
"Go on then, Jenny. What's botherin' ya?"
She blinks, deciding that the best way to go about this is to be as vague as possible with the details of Ella.
"So I've made this…friend…and I just…Every time I talk to them, I feel like I'm suddenly dumb. I feel like all I do is act a fool. I talked to them earlier, at the market, and they left me feeling…giddy. I just don't understand it."
Mrs. Hall and Helen share a look. There's a certain glint in their eyes. Jenny suddenly realises how she's made it sound.
Oh no.
Helen leans forward, giggling a little.
"Well, you know, you're reaching that age when boys-"
"No! No, it's not like that."
Was it like that? It couldn't be, right?
Mrs. Hall chuckles softly.
"It sounds an awful lot like it, Jenny."
"I promise it's not."
Helen rolls her eyes.
"Let me guess, with this friend, you get butterflies, and you never want to talk to them, but you also never want to stop talking them?"
Jenny's cheeks go pink.
"Well, yes, but-"
Helen shares another look with Mrs. Hall, and they both laugh a little.
"Jenny Alderson, finally gaining an interest in something other than the farm!"
Jenny feels her face heat up, and she downs her tea and leaves, feeling it burn her throat as her face burns in shame.
"Oh, no, Jenny wait-"
"Nevermind."
"No, we're sorry-"
She closes the door with enough force that the shelves next to it rattle.
Mrs. Hall raises her eyebrows and turns back to the stove. Helen is left sitting at the table in shock, and frankly, quite a bit of worry.

Great. Now Helen and Mrs. Hall both think she's enamoured with a mystery boy. Jenny frets about it the whole way back to Heston Grange. She manages to act normal in front of her dad for dinner, but she's a bit of a wreck when she goes to meet Ella at the gate. It's only been a week or so since Ella first arrived, and she doesn't want to put her off with her odd behaviour.

As Jenny approaches the gate, she sees Ella standing there. in those overalls she gave her, decorated with patches and embroidery. Her hair is a bit of a mess as it's the end of the day, but it doesn't even matter. The golden light of dusk shines on her, and Jenny gets that feeling in her stomach again. She tries to fix the gate, as one of it's posts is sort of in the ground at an angle, preventing the gate from being functional. She hands Ella a shovel, and the two get to digging the post out of the ground so they can replace it. Ella starts asking Jenny about her day, and Jenny gladly takes the opportunity to rant about Helen and Mrs. Hall, to which Ella says that everyone always seems to either peck about like a mother hen and take things too seriously, or they don't take them seriously enough. Jenny snorts, and they get to talking more, falling to the ground laughing about things they don't even remember. Jenny goes home that night more relaxed than she had been since Ella had arrived.

----

The weeks continued on like this, the two girls getting closer very quickly. Jenny and Ella met up whenever they could. They synced their routines so they could go to the market together, work near the property line at the same time, everything. Once their tasks for the day were all done they'd meet each other on a rooftop or out in a field with some fruit or a pastry made by Ella herself to decompress. They laughed and talked for hours, staying out longer and longer. Jenny did get told off by her dad a couple of times, but it was worth it. She doesn't think she's ever been so at peace as she is when she's just talking to Ella, slicing a ripe apple in half with her pocket knife for them to share. That feeling sits more comfortably in her stomach now.

It's about halfway through the summer that during one of these talks, Ella mentions she has to leave back to Lancashire come September. Jenny's heart drops. She didn't ever want this to end. Ella hands her an apple fritter, and her hand covers Jenny's hand for a moment as she reassures her.

"I don't have to leave yet. We can make the most of our time for now, Jen. Plus, I'll write you, okay?"

Jen. Her stomach's all in knots, but she nods.

"You promise?"

"As long as you promise to write back."

The girls giggle, and mood is back to it's usual lightheartedness. They were happy.

----

One week, Helen comes back to Heston Grange for a night or two just to visit. That first night was fun. Helen hadn't knows where Jenny had run off to that night, and was quite worried about her. Helen looked outside and called for her. She could just see, out in one of the fields, Jenny and another girl, sitting huddled together. It was starting to click in her mind what had Jenny so upset during that conversation weeks ago, now.
Jenny was just talking to Ella about Helen's visit during their usual nightly picnic, They were sitting shoulder to shoulder, feeling that wonderful feeling again. Ella had just begun to lean her head onto Jenny's shoulder, when Helen began to call for Jenny. The girls looked at each other, panicked, and scrambled to clean up and go home.

Jenny went to bed without a fight, not wanting to deal with angry Helen. She went to sleep filled with worry for what Helen might say. Maybe she had though Ella was a boy, and that she was sneaking out to go….She wasn't even sure what. She didn't want to think about it.

Helen sat her down the next day, but she didn't get shouted at like she had expected. She got an apology for upsetting her all those weeks ago, and a warning that she just needed to let her or Dad know where she was going and who she was with. She was so relieved that when she met Ella to go walk to the bus stop, she nearly didn't notice the sharp pull in her stomach again as the other girl took her hand.

That night, Ella invited her to her aunt's house to bake with her. She ended up spending the night, sleeping in Ella's bed, in one of Ella's nightgowns. She ended up keeping the nightgown. It was as soft as Ella's hair. She felt like she had been dreaming the entire time.

----

A week later, late in the night, Jenny found herself laying in a field, with her head in Ella's lap. She didn't remember putting her head in Ella's lap, but the other girl just had some sort of effect on her that made her act a damned fool. Jenny managed to ather her thoughts just long enough to know that she should be embarrassed, and then she felt something in her hair. Thinking it was a bug, she jerked upwards, causing Ella to giggle. "Just me Jen, sorry."
Jenny's stomach hurt a little, the giggle causing butterflies to swirl around. She laughed it off, truly embarrassed now, and awkwardly laid her head back down as Ella began to play with her hair once again. Jenny tried to get her heart under control, as it felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest. It was quiet and calm, and the night was warm. She never wanted to leave this moment. She looked up at Ella, and Ella looked down at her, runnung her fingers through her hair. The two girls giggled softly. They have a few more weeks.