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Lilly stood before the staircase leading to the hidden depths of the church. With a heavy sigh, she steeled her nerves and began her descent. The truth of this world had been made public, but access to this place was still restricted. Coming here was a risk, but one she felt she needed to take. There was something she desperately needed, deep in her soul.
“U-um, TAIM? Are you there?” she called softly. The bright light flashed, illuminating the server room. An image of a young girl materialized before her, smiling gently.
“Greetings, Lilly Lilium,” TAIM called in her usual monotone. “How might I be of assistance?”
“I-it’s nothing, I just had a request,” Lilly said. “Or, more of a favor, I guess?”
“If it is within my abilities, I will do what I can,” TAIM said. Lilly understood her position. She couldn’t do anything that acted against the administrator. But surely something like this would be permissible, right?
“M-maybe I should start by explaining.”
“Your explanation is unnecessary, but do as you wish.”
“D-do you remember when we were under your hypnosis spell?”
“I recall.”
“A-and...the memories you gave me.”
“I do.”
“R-right, well, when I had those memories, I felt...different than I do now,” Lilly explained. “More...I guess confident? No, that’s not the right word. Experienced?”
“I believe I understand,” TAIM said. “You wish to fabricate greater sexual experience than you possess, in order to seduce Rae Taylor.”
“Wh-what?! No, it’s not like that!” Lilly shrieked. “I just...wanted a romantic experience, is all,” she muttered.
“Understood,” TAIM said. “In order to perform hypnosis, I require the permission of the administrator. I will contact Claire Francois and-”
“N-no! Please don’t!” Lilly cried. Clair would never permit such memories of Rae.
“Then, perhaps I can provide you a more direct experience?” TAIM offered.
“Wh-what do you mean?” Lilly asked nervously.
“Simply put, I will create a romantic scenario for you to act out whatever you wish,” TAIM said. “I am able to project a great many situations, and can simulate reality with near perfect precision. I’m sure whatever I create will be satisfactory.”
“D-do you need permission for that, too?”
“Not for a simulation,” TAIM said. “However, the administrator has also required that I obtain her permission to use hypnosis, projection, simulation, and dreamcrafting on Rae Taylor, or to use her person in such efforts.” Lilly’s face fell dejectedly. Claire had thought of everything. “I can ask for permission on your behalf-” Lilly quickly shook her head “-or I can provide a comparable experience using another person. What is your preference?”
Lilly grumbled to herself. Asking permission from Claire wouldn’t just be rejected, she’d be in huge trouble over it later. Claire liked her well enough as a friend, but as a romantic rival she was vicious. But the idea of using someone else didn’t sit right either. There was no good outcome. Why did Claire have to be so thorough?! Completely dejected, but longing for something she’d forgotten, Lilly said “T-the second option, please.”
“Very well. Please wait while I generate an appropriate scenario.” Lilly began to tremble as she waited, the whir of the machinery escalating as TAIM processed. “Initializing.” Suddenly the room went dark. Dim candlelight illuminated the room in a dull orange glow. The room was small and unadorned, with a large bed the only defining feature. Lilly whined, her face breaking into a deep blush. Another figure appeared in the room, their eyes slowly opening. Even in in this light, Lilly would recognize Rae’s features easily. Though her attire was different; deep black robes and a veil obscuring her face.
“U-um, TAIM?” Lilly called.
“You are requesting this experience to learn how to seduce Rae Taylor, correct?” TAIM asked. “Therefore, someone who would act approximately like her would be best to simulate accurate responses. Additionally, behavioral research suggests that the closer the trial is to the anticipated task, the more likely the target behavior will be elicited in the desired moment. In short, it would be best to use her image for practice. Given these parameters, I selected the best person for the job.”
“So you’re forcing me into this fantasy?” the Demon Queen asked. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were holding a grudge, TAIM.”
“I am not programmed to feel anger, much less hold a grudge.”
“And yet, here we are,” the Demon Queen sighed.
“You agreed to support this system during your stasis,” TAIM said. “We have a request for a romantic simulation, and you are best suited to the role of her partner. Will you reject your duties already? I could simply eject you back to the world early. I’m sure the Church would be merciful.”
“Fine, whatever” the Demon Queen spat. “Are you alright with this?” she asked Lilly. “I’m not exactly a romantic.”
“This is fine,” Lilly whispered, locked in place under her gaze.
“If that’s what you want, I’m all yours,” the Demon Queen shrugged. Lilly stood completely still, staring back at her. All hers. The words echoed in Lilly’s mind as she processed their meaning. Even if they weren’t the same person, her heart beat wildly in her chest, being alone with someone who looked like Rae. “Are you just going to stare at me?” the Demon Queen asked.
“O-oh! Yes! Right,” Lilly said, trying to collect her scattered thoughts. This was her chance! She had to be bold! Right now, this was her scenario! She could ask for anything! Her skin ran hot at the thought, but she pushed aside her doubts and made her declaration. “Th-then, if you would,” she began, stopping short as her eyes locked with the Demon Queen’s. Lowering her gaze, she extended her arm. “Please hold my hand!” she cried.
There was an uncomfortable moment of silence, followed by a sharp snicker. “How daring of you,” the Demon Queen’s cool voice echoed, an edge of sarcasm clear in her tone. Lilly began to shrink away, when a gentle pressure suddenly squeezed her palm, holding her still. The Demon Queen’s soft skin brushed against Lilly’s as their fingers intertwined. “Like this?” she asked. Warmth spread through Lilly’s skin at the touch, and she raised her eyes to look at the person now holding her hand. Her expression was colder than Rae’s, a bit more distant, but this feeling and the sight of her beloved drew an excited giggle from Lilly’s lips. Emboldened by success, she acted on her next impulse. With a slight skip, she wrapped herself around the Demon Queen’s arm.
“I always wanted to do yuri-yuri,” Lilly sighed contentedly, nuzzling against her side.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“W-well, it’s like, cuddling and stuff.”
The Demon Queen smiled, her expression a mix of amusement and pity. “You are so innocent,” she said.
“Stop making fun of me, you mollusk! Must you question everything I tell you?” Lilly snapped. The Demon Queen seemed stunned, a faint pink glow beneath her wide eyes. Lilly quickly averted her gaze, trying to ignore her own outburst. “This is supposed to be my time. Shouldn’t you be nicer to me?”
“Am I not being nice?” the Demon Queen asked. “Rae wouldn’t have been so accommodating of these direct demands.”
Lilly groaned. “Th-that’s true,” Lilly muttered.
“Don’t look so sad,” the Demon Queen complained. Lilly tried to compose herself, sniffling softly. The Demon Queen grumbled, the pink spreading across her face. “Ugh, I’m still weak to this kind of thing,” she grumbled.
Lilly looked up at her, eyes moist. “D-does that mean...you think I’m cute?” The Demon Queen didn’t meet her gaze, but nodded once. “Then, Rae must think so too!” The Demon Queen’s expression fell flat. “Then I have a chance! The mistress position is still-”
“Is that what you want for yourself?”
“Huh?” Lilly hadn’t expected that kind of response, much less how sharp the tone was.
“You can do anything to me here,” the Demon Queen said. “Yet all you’ve asked for is holding hands and cuddling. You expect me to believe you’d be happy as a mistress?”
Lilly’s body began to relax, but her grip on the Demon Queen’s hand tightened. “A-are you...worried about me?” she asked hesitantly. The Demon Queen averted her gaze, and Lilly felt her heart skip a beat. She was worried about her. Someone else worried about her...
“Forget it, it’s not my business what you do with your life,” the Demon Queen sighed. “Are we finished?” she asked, starting to pull her hand away.
Lilly wrapped herself around the Demon Queen’s arm, holding her in place. Her body was trembling, and she tried to steady her breath. There was some truth to what the Demon Queen had said. It wasn’t all she wanted. She knew what being a mistress would entail, and it didn’t seem all that bad if it was with Rae, but...
Lilly turned toward the face of the woman she loved. Her expression was colder, more detached, but still beautiful. Still looked like Rae, who she truly wanted to be with, but who could never return her feelings. Maybe this fantasy was juvenile. This was her chance to do whatever she wanted with Rae’s body, and to have Rae do to her what she’d always dreamed. There was so much she could finally do, but there was more that she wanted before all of that. More that she could never have.
It wasn’t just about sex. She thought about that, too, but what she wanted most was for Rae to love her back. She’d spent her life believing her feelings to be wrong, being criticized by everyone at the Church for who she loved. For the first time in her life, when someone stood up for her, and told her these feelings were okay...they were already taken. She knew it could never be, but she had to try; who else was there in the world who cared for her like that? And for a short time, in those fabricated memories, she felt what it was like to truly be with someone. To be loved. But even that was taken away from her as memories of Claire broke through. Of course it needed to happen. Of course she wanted Rae to be happy, even if it meant she couldn’t be. But that wasn’t easy to do. Did no one care how hard it was for her, giving that up? Was it so childish to just want someone to hold her again? To let her feel what she had always wanted, without shame or regret?
She knew it could never happen. Not with Rae. Not like she wanted. But here, in this moment...it felt like there was someone else. Someone who cared. Pursing her lips, Lilly pushed herself forward and upward, toward a kiss.
Yet she encountered an obstacle. A single finger, pressed firmly against her lips. Lilly opened her eyes, dejected. “Don’t force yourself,” the Demon Queen said, her tone surprisingly gentle. “You want to save that for Rae, don’t you?”
Lilly recoiled slightly, averting her gaze. “B-but Rae doesn’t…love me that way,” she said weakly.
“So that’s all I am to you? A consolation prize?”
“Th-that’s not…” Lilly trailed off. It was true, she looked exactly like Rae, so being intimate with her would be the next best thing. But it was more than that. She wanted someone to return her affections, and so far, the Demon Queen had done exactly that. She held her hand, let her cuddle, and yeah, maybe she was teasing her about her inexperience, but Lilly felt, earnestly felt, like she cared about her. She looked like Rae, and made her feel the way Rae did, even if she wasn’t Rae. Wasn’t that still love? “I want to kiss you,” she said, mustering all the confidence she could.
“Are you certain?” the Demon Queen asked. “You’re still trembling.”
“I do,” Lilly said, a little weaker this time.
“You want this to be for someone you love, don’t you? You could do better than someone like me.”
“I just want…” Lilly choked back her words as tears began to blind her. I just want someone to love me.
The Demon Queen sighed softly. Her hand slid under Lilly’s chin, forcing her face up to look at her. Lilly’s eyes widened, taking in the sight of that devilish grin, brown eyes alight with mischief. “Careful what you wish for, saint,” the Demon Queen hissed. “I warned you before: that shyness is appealing to me. If you keep pushing like that, I may not be able to control myself.”
Lilly froze in place, completely pinned under her stare. Her face burned, her limbs trembled, and she could hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears. The Demon Queen’s expression darkened. “I was trying to be threatening. Don’t tell me you’re into this,” she muttered. Lilly could only squeak, nodding so slightly she didn’t seem to move. “Alright then,” the Demon Queen sighed, raising her other hand to part her veil. “I may as well enjoy this,” she whispered.
The Demon Queen leaned in quickly, like a snake lunging to devour its prey. Her lips pressed forcefully against Lilly’s as she wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her in closer. Lilly let out a high-pitched squeak, her body freezing up at the sudden sensation. She remained rigid, unable to fully react to anything that was happening. This was…a kiss. With how close together their bodies were pressed, the experience was much warmer than she’d expected. Her head began to swim, her thoughts scattering.
Lilly felt the Demon Queen’s lips curl into a slight smile, her eyelids fluttering faintly open to gaze at Lillie’s expression. Her tongue firmly pressed between Lilly’s lips, forcing them to part with a startled yelp. The Demon Queen began to slowly, delicately roll her tongue over Lilly’s. Lilly let out a shuddering sigh and went limp, the Demon Queen clutching her tighter. The heat in her body burned so strongly she couldn’t move. Each gentle caress and forceful grasp sent shivers up her spine, blocking all other sensation but the throbbing of her heartbeat and her own soft moans.
After what felt like an eternity, the Demon Queen relaxed her hold and hesitantly pulled away from the kiss, her eyes shining with mischief. “Is that what you wanted? Are you satisfied now?” she asked softly, her breath hot on Lilly’s face. Lilly stood shakily on her feet, her breathing heavy. “Nothing to say to me?” the Demon Queen pressed. Lilly wanted to say something, anything, to her. But her mind remained blank. Try as she might, nothing she could say seemed to match what she felt. She simply clung to her, staring back into her eyes. The Demon Queen sighed. “Right, too much at once. TAIM, we’re done here. End the simulation.”
The room around them began to grow hazy as the Demon Queen released her and began to turn away. Lilly’s body reacted before her thoughts could catch up, and she grabbed the Demon Queen’s sleeve tightly in her fists. Tears welled in her eyes, her lips trembled, but still no words escaped them. All she could do was stand there, shaking and clinging to her. The Demon Queen smiled warmly at her, whispering “Come see me again soon, Lilly” as she gently pat her head.
All at once, the simulation faded. Her hands now grasped at nothing, and the bright lights of the server room seared her eyes. “This concludes your requested simulation,” TAIM’s voice said. “Well, Lilly Lilium? Was the experience to your liking?”
Lilly’s only response was a sharp, high-pitched squeal as she covered her crimson face. She kissed her. Like, really kissed her. And she liked it. All her old memories only carried the marker that she had kissed, but to feel it? It was everything she’d ever hoped a kiss would be. The scene replayed over and over in Lilly’s mind. She pressed her palms harder against her face, emitting a discordant whine as she felt her skin tingle at every tender touch, the Demon Queen’s taste lingering on her lips. These impure thoughts swirled, her entire body aching for more. Was that what it was like, when someone loved you back? She felt pure, unbearable embarrassment, first for what she’d done, then for how badly she wanted it again.
How was she supposed to face everyone like this?