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Sanji was in utter disbelief, as though standing on a cloud amongst fairies and Klabautermänner.
And yet, after Mermaid Island, how could he doubt anymore?
At the present moment, the Kuja Pirates' ship was alongside their own. The “Most Beautiful Woman in the World” herself was paying them a personal visit. She arrived gloriously loud and proud, regal and exquisite, bringing with her an entire deck full of... meat.
“Luffy~!” Spotting the Straw Hat captain, her demeanor and tone did a complete 180. Ahhh, it was just as radiant!
“Oh, Hancock!” Luffy beamed, waving. Too familiar! He recalled that Luffy had been flung to the Maiden Island during their time apart. (Sanji would forever hold that against him. Insanely unfair!) But Luffy acted this way with everyone, would have addressed Gold D. Roger himself in the same manner. The telling part was that he had pronounced the name correctly. “Where did you get all that meat?!”
“It's a gift for you! Let me on board, and I'll explain.”
A gift...? All of that?!! Grrrrrr, he was so jealous!
Sanji let that thought pass as quickly as it had come. Promptly, he laid the gangplank in place and humbly offered his hand to aid the empress across, grateful that he wasn't suffering through a nosebleed to do it. Boa Hancock regarded him with cold indifference, ignoring his hand completely as she stepped onto the Thousand Sunny lawn. In her eyes, he practically wasn't there. How dignified! She strode out toward the middle of the deck as if this ship she had never been on before was just another in her personal armada. They say she could command the entire world, and Sanji didn't doubt it.
She went straight for Luffy, blushing with surprising shyness. She stammered, even. “I-I heard you've become an Emperor, Luffy. When I found out, I thought 'I should pay him a visit at once to congratulate him', so here I am.”
“Oh, thanks!” Luffy said, accepting her gracious well-wishes far too easily, “But you know, you should have waited for when I become the King. That would actually be something worth celebrating.”
“I'll come then too!” Boa Hancock assured, eager, “Um, the food on my ship is a congratulatory gift for y-you. It's a traditional specialty of Amazon Lily: Scrumptious Serpentine Skewers. I-It's not actual snake meat, of course, since snakes are holy in my empire; it just looks like them.”
Sanji could see it now: the niku signs in Luffy's eyes. His dribbling drool predictably turned into an unflattering downpour, voice shaking with unbridled excitement. “Really?! All this for me?!” He launched himself forward— and knowing what was coming, Sanji tried to stop him— 'Wait, Luffy!' —but of course it wasn't quick enough— Luffy leapt upon the tall frame and blasphemously wrapped his limbs around the empress in a rubbery embrace. Aghhh, he was soooooooooooo jealous!! “You're the best, Hancock! THANKS SO MUCH!”
Luffy was gone like the wind, off to the other ship and its precious cargo. Sanji's whiplashing emotions went from green-eyed envy to genuine concern. “Hey, make sure to watch out for the sticks!” he called out after him, “Don't just gulf them down all at once!”
Luffy spun where he landed to briefly acknowledge him, barely losing his momentum. “I will, don't worry!” Then he was gleefully upon his feast.
He let his gaze linger a bit to make sure Luffy was actually following through before returning his attention to the empress. What he saw gave him a shock. Rather than appearing affronted, Boa Hancock had collapsed. Some of the Straw Hats were around her in concern. She held out an arm to hold them off, despite her shaking, weakened state, face flush. “I'm fine,” she hissed, “Just... give me a moment.”
Sanji frowned, curiously looking on. Sure enough, she stood up, regaining her perfect composure. He looked again to the ridiculous mountain of carefully smoked and seasoned skewers and then back to her.
“Did you cook all of that yourself?” he blurted out, surprising himself. He felt mortified when the Boa Hancock looked his way for the first time. “Er, s-sorry. I'm not sure why that impression came over me just now.” How stupid could he be! She was the ruler of a kingdom. Far be it for him to say cooking was beneath anyone, but there was no need for her to go to such lengths when she had helpers abound.
“Who are you?” she demanded in answer, her apathetic demeanor returned, “The cook on this boat?”
“Y-Yes!”
His heart sped up as she scrutinized him for what felt like an eternity but was probably only seconds. “...You should count your blessings you were born a man.”
He saluted. “Hai! I count today as one of the most blessed of my life!”
She appeared bored by that response and looked away again. “To answer, I did.”
Sanji gaped, taking a moment to connect the reply to the earlier question. So she had cooked that entire mountain of meat herself...
He had to try it!
Usopp, Chopper, and Brook were already leaning over the rail in the direction of the Kuja Pirates ship, mouths watering. No doubt they wanted the same thing. But Jinbe appeared to be warning them against it, even sweating a bit.
It was likely a smart idea. Even so, this was something he was willing to risk his life on.
Sanji threw up his arms, ecstatically declaring, “Upon this sacred day I partake of the scraps that fell from between the divine goddess' graceful slender fingers and become an enlightened one!”
Before he could attempt anything, he was kicked by an almighty force of heavenly bliss, heeled in 6.5 cm tall pumps. “You may be Luffy's friend, but don't get ahead of yourself!”
“A~~~nn!” As he went flying through the air, bloodied, hearing the cries of angels, he turned to stone. If it hadn't been for Franky catching him, he would have broken into a myriad of pieces on the deck and died a happy man.
“Wha... I didn't use my powers on him,” he heard Boa Hancock wonder out loud.
“Don't pay it any mind.” Ah, the lovely Nami-san, kindly explaining! “That's an illness, unique to him. It'll go away in a minute or two.”
“I wasn't asking you.” Something was wrong. The voice wasn't impassive coolness but a scathing frost.
“...From your reputation, I know you're generally this way with people outside your closed-off little island, so I won't take it personally, but you are a guest here on our ship. Mind your tone.”
“I do as I please. I'll be forgiven of everything because I am far more beautiful than you.”
The resulting silence passed as a gust over no man's land, the two warring sides standing off.
“Hey, hey, hey!” Usopp tried to appeal, voice shrill, “Let's go back to celebrating, okay? That's what we're doing, right? Yey, Monkey D. Luffy is one of the four largest names on the sea! Hip hip hoo—“
“I'm not looking past that. She better damn apologize, or she gets off my ship.”
“Oh please. This is not your ship. This is Luffy's.”
“I'm part of his crew who lives here and navigates this hulking thing! Who are you?”
“That... That... That's between me and Luffy!”
His observational ability was razor sharp when it came to women, always had been, only became more finely attuned over the years, especially after acquiring haki. That's why Sanji knew without a doubt what the pirate empress felt towards his captain was no small crush.
He stepped out of Franky's hold, having long thawed out in the presence of the two heated figures, and watched on helplessly.
Jinbe made the next attempt to intervene. He sighed deeply. “I know I'm risking a lot to say this, but the truth is our snake princess here has proposed to Luffy no less than thirty times in the two-year span they knew each other. Every attempt a rejection.”
Sanji's jaw dropped to the deck, mind blank. His beating heart, however, was not so quiet. His crew seemed to share his speechlessness.
“Don't patronize me, Jinbe.” Boa Hancock glared at the fishman. “I understand Luffy. His free spirit craves adventure and will not be constrained to any one place. I will wait for him until he's ready to settle down. As long as it takes.”
“You'll be waiting a lot longer than you think,” said Nami-san, crossing her arms.
“How dare you—“
“Sorry, but it needs to be said. Your Luffy is already taken. Not by me, though.”
Boa Hancock recoiled back a half-step. “Ridiculous. How could some plain woman lure Luffy away from adventure and succeed where I couldn't? It's utterly absurd.”
Nami-san's eyebrows rose. “Are you calling me a liar on top of everything else?”
“Then I demand you show me this... this impossible seductress.”
Woefully, Nami-san's perfectly manicured nail pointed towards himself, and Sanji became the focal point of several pairs of eyes. He strained to give an apologetic smile to the empress.
It took a moment for realization to dawn, and Boa Hancock gasped. “No...!” She dropped to the deck, head hanging tragically, her long ebony hair fanning around her. “I lost before I had even started,” she mourned.
No, that's not how it was. Sanji wanted to explain it to her, comfort her in some way, especially being the cause, but how could it mean anything coming from him?
“Hey, what gives? None of you came to join me!” Ill-timed and oblivious to the atmosphere as always, Luffy's amply bloated figure waddled precariously across the plank connecting the ships. “There's hardly any left now!” He was instantly the center of attention. “What? I left a little bit!”
“Luffy...!” Teary-eyed, Boa Hancock started for the walking, talking rubber balloon and collapsed at his feet, grasping onto folds of skin since no clothes were in reach. Sanji felt suddenly blindsided by the sight. As if he had just run smack into a wall. “Tell me it isn't true...!”
“Oh, the skewers were delicious! Thanks a million, Hancock!”
It should have been a dream come true, meeting the world-renowned Pirate Empress Boa Hancock in person. At a distance, she was a goddess, even more beautiful than the most effusive praise gave her credit, for no mere words could justly capture her splendor. But now that she was here on the Thousand Sunny... Sanji found it difficult to call this divinity's arrival an auspicious event, as he definitely would have just a few months ago. Gorgeous, fierce, commanding, exalting, fickle, neither benevolent or wrathful, but in love with his Luffy.
That little bit of praise seemed to reinvigorate her, and she was quickly back on her feet. Oh, she was truly smitten, though for the life of Sanji he couldn't figure out how it came to be. This empty-headed, sloppy village boy attracting the gaze of the famously man-hating, globally worshiped queen?
But he knew exactly why. Knew it as much as she did. And that was a thought he could scarcely bear.
“I won't give up,” Boa Hancock declared, “Especially to this drooling ape who ogles at others and is no doubt violent towards you!” A lovely finger was again thrown in his direction, this time berating. “He does not deserve you! There's no way I can accept this!” The finger retracted for a hand to cover her heart in a pledge. “Luffy, if it's the cooking you love, I will train harder and cook dishes better than the Scrumptious Serpentine Skewers every day for you! You'll love my cooking the most! Because I pour my all into it, and I love you more than anyone!”
“I'm sorry, most of what you say may be true, but I can't let that last part slide.” Sanji stepped forward, hardly believing what he was doing. He jutted a thumb towards his chest. “The one who will cook every day to satisfy Luffy is me!”
Several gasps and hitching breaths sounded around the deck. The shock was palpable.
“What a farce. See how he can't even face me with his eyes open? Your true desires betray you, boy.”
“I have to keep them closed or I'll lose my resolve!”
The baited breaths all around were at once released as a collective sigh. That was his crew, those backstabbing bastards (minus the wonderful Robin-chan and Nami-san)!
“I challenge you to a barbecue cook-off!” he went on, desperate to prove himself.
A beat. “I'm listening...”
“The point of contest is those skewers you specialize in. Luffy will be our judge. Do you agree to these terms?”
“...The recipe has been handed down through the history of our people. I won't share it with you.”
“Thank you, but I don't need it.”
“Hmph. Since Luffy is judge, I accept. We will provide the meat for both sides, but you're on your own for any other ingredients. I look forward to trampling that tenuous pride of yours. Luffy, please cheer me on! I shall earn your favor yet!”
“Sorry, Hancock, but Sanji wins all his cooking competitions.”
“Gah...!” The noise of stumbling back. “I won't give up... I won''t....”
Though it twinged in sympathy for the lady, Sanji's heart soared to hear Luffy's vote of confidence.
“Luffy, do you even get what this contest is really about?” Usopp's voice.
“They said it. It's to see who's the better cook.”
A deep sigh.“Someone please explain to me why this meathead is so popular.”
“Don't call him that! And that's because...because... tee hee... tee hee... Gosh, don't make me say it out loud!” A deafening slap, and Usopp's ensuing cry of pain. Lucky bastard.
How badly he wanted to see the empress' tee hee face! He must hold strong...
~~~
The unspoken agreement was that the two contestants had free reign of their respective ships and all that lay therein, but all work must be done by their own hand. No assistance.
Sanji planned to do his prep in the kitchen, make use of the stove, and also set up the charcoal grill on deck. Fortunately, the day was a calm one and the weather agreeable for a cookout.
He had several trusty skewer recipes on hand, but the objective was to embrace the bold smokey flavor of the Kuja specialty. Since he didn't get the opportunity to taste it, he had to rely wholly on the smell that carried over on the sea breeze and from Luffy's rank breath. He had a good idea. He was confident.
Cut the meat into thin, uniform strips for even cooking and maximum flavor penetration. He picked a marinade for increased juiciness and eliminating the gamy flavor over a caramelizing spice rub, even though it would take longer. The Scrumptious Serpentine Skewers definitely had cumin and chile flakes. It was best to support those with garlic, fennel, and peppercorns. Eliminate the chile flakes for Chopper's portion and substitute brown sugar. Extra spice for Usopp. A dash of mikan juice for Nami-san's portion, vinegar for Jinbe, sake for the Marimo. Robin-chan and Brook's portion would be smoked with a mixture of tea leaves, sugar, and puffed rice in a covered wok. Franky would prefer the complex mixture of flavors and aromas produced by the grill.
And Luffy... Luffy would get everything. He loved and deserved it all.
“Whacha smiling about?” A genuine, happy question.
Speak of the devil...He really must have been caught up in what he was doing to not hear those lanky sandaled footfalls, not to mention a failure on the part of his observation haki.
“Because I'm confident I'm going to win,” he answered, pounding fresh spices in his mortar and pestle. It wasn't entirely truthful, but he wasn't going to admit the true reason out loud. ”Though I'm sure it will be close,” he added in afterthought, thinking of the hardworking, determined empress.
He heard the other's approach. “It smells so good already...”
How Luffy could work up an appetite after literally gorging his face was a question Sanji had learned to give up long ago. “Too bad, you're the judge, so you're going to have to wait for the final product.”
A protesting moan. “But I'm so excited I can't stand it...”
I'll say. You're not king yet, but you're sure being treated like one today!
“You probably shouldn't even be in here. What would..” He stopped, feeling a little hollow. “...would your friend think?”
“Hancock?” He knew that inflection in voice was the excitement Luffy usually had when speaking about his cherished friends, but now it bugged him. “Oh, Hancock's cool! She always helps me out. She smuggled me into Impel Down, got Smoker off my back during the war, and a whole bunch of things.” Really irritating. “And she let me use her island for two years to train and she always brings me lots and lots of yummy food. She's strong too! She uses a kicking fighting style like you.”
Actually... Sanji set the pestle firmly on the table and turned around. “You bastard, so you already had someone so deeply in love with you all these years. How could you reject the most admired woman in the world?! I'm so jealous!”
Luffy's smile receded at his reaction. He crossed his arms. “Are you jealous of her... or of me?”
“Both!” he exclaimed, worked up. He paced a bit to and fro, then suddenly lost his steam, stopping. Mortified, he covered his face with both hands. “...Her,” he admitted.
To be honest, he felt a bit insecure. Sure, they were pirates and had no reason to follow the so-called status quo, but wasn't a male-female couple better in line with the natural order of things? Well, his own parents were a terrible example of it. He loathed men who lauded their power over their wives for that reason. Usopp's were better but not by much. The rest of his crew were a mystery. Maybe, in the end, it didn't matter the 'what' of a person but the 'who' when it came to relationships. Luffy seemed to think so anyway.
If he compared his flawed self to a goddess, that was a rabbit hole his mind wouldn't be able to return from.
“I won't go off in her ship, Sanji.” Luffy's adamant tone, breaking him from his musing.
His hands dropped. He looked back. “Huh?”
“I won't go off in Hancock's ship like you didn't leave with Tra-guy in his submarine.”
“Wha...” He suddenly got it. “Wait, hold on, the reason you were mad back then was...” He couldn't even finish that sentence. Luffy got jealous? Seriously? Maybe he had seen a little bit of it, looking back...
“I'm not going to marry her,” Luffy went on, as if stating a fact, “I'm together with you.”
“You can't know that for sure. Maybe in the future you'd prefer—“
“In the future I'll be with you too.”
Sanji stood there, rendered amazed, the last of his doubts slipping away, just like that. Luffy rarely spoke about the future. It was always today, not tomorrow with him. The only other times he could think of was when Luffy declared his dream or announced he was going to kick someone's ass.
Shit. He desperately lit up a cigarette before he revealed his emotions any more than he had.
Luffy seemed pleased by this action, raising both arms behind his head and grinning wide. He always saw through him, in the end. How fair was that? “You may have me, but you're going to lose the competition if you keep diddlling-daddling!.” The world was ending, he was learning how to be sassy.
Sanji swerved back towards his prep work. “Stop acting smart. I always have perfect control of everything that goes down in this kitchen,” he groused. A lie.
Luffy stayed with him in the galley throughout the entire process, leafing through the Sora, Warrior of the Sea comics, though he was wholly distracted towards the end.
“C'mon, just one bite...” came the expected salivating plea.
“Oh no no, not this time,” Sanji shot down. He bunted the incoming rubbery form with a shoe as he effortlessly balanced the tray of skewers he had just removed from the wok. “We're doing this right. I'm winning this competition fair and square.” He set the tray down on the counter next to the ones that had been prepared on the grill and removed his apron.
“But it's meant for me anyway!”
“Yes, you'll get it no matter what, so there's no reason you can't wait.”
Luffy flopped over the table in a smash pool of himself, pouting.
Smirking at the other's antics, Sanji smoothed down his clothes and righted his tie to make himself presentable. His eyes caught a glimpse of black fabric at the end of the counter. “Ah.” He remembered. He took the bandanna between two hands and held it out before him, considering.
“Oh, that's Zoro's,” Luffy pointed out.
“Yeah, I'm borrowing it.” On threat of withholding the booze skewers. “I thought I'd use it as a blindfold as soon as I stepped outside, but...” Now he wasn't so sure he needed it anymore.
A beat. “Why Zoro's?”
“Why the bandanna? Because it's suitable. It's an old one he doesn't use as much. He can burn it, if he wishes to. I don't care.”
He only heard incoherent grumbling in reply.
“I can't hear you.”
“I said you can use any of my clothes for that.”
Sanji looked to the table, confused. “What do you have that would work better? Aren't there just shirts?”
“What's wrong with a shirt?” Luffy retorted.
Is he that upset about not getting food early? Then it came to him, their conversation from before. “...Are you serious? The literal plant life?” He emphatically waved a palm before him, holding his head. “Wait, wait, don't even go there or I'll throw up.”
The bandanna was left behind when they went out.
~~~
Mother Sea, there was an even greater mountain than before.
“Behold!” The Snake Princess exhibited it with commendable pride. She was in an apron that only served to flatter her figure, splattered cutely in cumin. “The fruit of my love!”
Looking at her and her devoted work, Sanji could only feel a great pity. He was sure that was the last thing she wanted from anybody, however.
Why, oh why did he have to be the bad guy in this situation?
“Yahoo! Finally, it's time to eat meat!”
Sanji eased into a smile. Thank the sea for Luffy's enthusiasm. That was sure to make her happy, as it had always made him happy.
“What is all this?” Boa Hancock demanded, looking at his several platters.
“Variations of the same dish,” he explained, “To suit the palette of my crew.” He tapped the plate on the end, pulling out his cigarette with his other hand. “This one should be the closest to the original, though I think you'll be surprised by the rich aromatics and depth of flavor.”
“Luffy will be the judge of that,” she spat, turning aside to attend to said rubberman.
But of course the foodaholic had already stretched his limbs to seize handfuls of skewers from both ships simultaneously. Sanji continued to smoke, perhaps pretending more disinterest than he felt. What gives? It was just Luffy!
“Dewisious!” Luffy was positively glowing from eating the empress's food, cheeks full. “Deez arf 'ven bedda den dez mornin'!
“You really think so?”Boa Hancock was squirming in delight. He was truly glad for her.
“Yeah!” Luffy swallowed. “You're a great cook compared to before!” Though it came from a good place, that compliment could have been phrased better. Fortunately, Boa Hancock didn't seem to mind, maybe she hadn't even noticed. She was basking in the praise instead, cradling her rosy cheeks.
Miraculously, Luffy had the sense to finish chewing before turning his attention to Sanji's creation. His mouth enveloped a skewer completely, and a hand pulled the bamboo stick out clean. He said nothing, simply moving onto the next skewer and the next. Finally, he ran out of what he had on hand and swallowed. “Yep, Sanji wins.”
Sanji allowed himself to smile, just a little.
Boa Hancock remained composed, facing away. “Congratulations to you, boy.” The tone was completely flat. “It was a trifle contest anyway. My love got across to Luffy, and that's the only thing that matters to me.”
“I—“ Sanji started, wanting to apologize somehow.
“Nothing that will come out of your mouth could possibly interest me.”
He shut up at that.
“Whoopie, we can finally dig in!” Graciously, his attention was drawn to the rest of his crew, all scurrying towards the feast with equal parts excitement. He stepped up to serve them, delivering their respective dishes.
“Ow, ow! These are fire!”
“He's the winner for a reason!”
“You've outdone yourself, Sanji.”
“Eat up!” he hollered, riding on the bliss of the moment, “There's a lot, but I don't want to see a scrap of this go to waste!”
“You don't need to tell me twice!”
Suddenly, Chopper gasped. “Sanji, your eyes are open!” So someone had noticed such a silly thing.
“Oh they are! That's amazing, Sanji!” that darn long-nosed cheered.
Franky started bawling of all things, using a miniature robot hand to ineffectively wipe his eyes with a tissue. “It's always so beautiful when a boy becomes a man.”
Sanji erupted at that. “I don't want to be patronized by the likes of you lot!”
“I'm so proud of you, Sanji-kun!”
“N-Not you too, Nami-swan...”
Once he was satisfied his crew was satisfying themselves, he took up a platter and arranged a few of the different skewers on it. Then he looked for the empress, finding her standing rigidly near two other Kuja women on their ship, not eating. That wouldn't do.
Putting on as an innocuous of an air as possible, he crossed the plank and stopped just short of the women. The two he wasn't yet acquainted yet were at once wary, staring him down and even gripping their weapons. To be under the careful watch of such beauty!
He needed to put them at ease. He looked to the mountain of meat. “May I try these? They smell divine.”
Boa Hancock narrowed her eyes, looking between him, his platter, and her own skewers. She seemed about to say something but stopped, glancing in Luffy's direction. The fight in her eyes died, then, and she turned away once more. “Do as you please. It's a failure anyway.”
“I must disagree.” Sanji used his free hand to reach for one of the delicacies, taking it in hand and examining it closely. “It is very much a success.”
“I don't need your pity,” came the emotional retort.
“No self-respecting chef lies when it comes to food.” He bit down, analyzing the aromatics, flavor, and texture in his mind, comparing it to his own attempt. “Very tender, the spice rub is a perfect blend, and toasting the fennel seed is a nice touch. I can see why this recipe has been passed down through so many generations. Though I only made an imitation, my crew loves it. I'll have to save it for the books.”
“And yet your 'imitation' won.”
“I've been cooking and competing for many, many years, that's all. More importantly, I love trying new foods, so thank you for this.”
“,,,”
He held out his platter, though she couldn't see it as she was. “I'd feel honored if you tried mine. Food should be eaten while it's nice and hot, no?”
“Don't pretend you made it for me. I didn't make mine for you.”
“Maybe so, but our contest has turned into a feast now, and a feast is for everyone.”
Boa Hancock spun around— “Enough! Get your grungy food away from me!”— and smacked the platter from his hand. Ah! He was unable to react in time to save it. The untasted meat was lost, splattering everywhere. The metal tray rolled across the deck in a deafening clatter before at last falling still. Sanji stared, unsure of what to do.
That's why, when the familiar plodding of sandals came, it was a great comfort.
There was Luffy, bending down to scoop up some of the fallen food. “Wait, Luffy—!“ Against the empress' protests, he gripped the crumbling meat by hand and plopped it into his mouth. He didn't say a word as he chewed, only swallowed. Then: “Hancock, Sanji isn't a good cook just because of his skills. It's also because he shares his food with everybody who's hungry.”
Her expression turned vulnerable, a desperate look in her eye. “I can do that too! I can become anything you need me to be! Just say the word, and I'll... I'll find that okama queen from the war and change my sex!”
Egad, that would be too great a loss upon the world!
“You can become whatever you want,” said Luffy, “but I can't decide that for you.”
The poor woman hung her head, long raven hair cascading over her shoulders. Her voice was strained: “Why him?”
“I don't know. That's how it turned out.” Luffy grinned. “But when I saw him, I wanted him!”
Sanji's face grew so hot, he was sure it was about to explode. The sight before him, however, kept his temperature in check. He elbowed his companion, who was still eating. “Hey, a word.”
Luffy raked up the last of the spilt meat bits and snatched a greedy handful of skewers from the pile beside him. “What?”
“C'mere.” He pulled him close, huddling so they touched head to head. “Look, I know this isn't exactly intuitive for you, but can't you be a little nicer? She really likes you.”
“Wha d'ya mean?” This clueless bastard, chewing away! “This is the kindest way, isn't it?”
Sanji stilled, letting that sink in. “You're not wrong, but...”
“Like I said, Hancock's strong. She'll be okay.” And just like that, leaving him those few confident words, Luffy pulled away and threw up his arms, shouting, “Mmmnnnnnnnnnn, alright!! There's lots of food, so it's time to party!”
An answering cry resounded from the Sunny. The captain bounded away to rejoin his crew.
“Here.” Sanji started at the new voice, turning his head. The Kuja woman with matching emerald hair and eyes was holding out the dropped platter to him. “If Luffy thinks so highly of you, I know you're not one of those insufferable types of men.”
He was so happy to be spoken to, he shimmied in place. “It's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance! What might your names be?”
“I'm Sandersonia, and this is Marigold,” the beauty introduced, “We're Big Sis' younger sisters.”
“Sisters, of course! No wonder you're all so stunning, you share Lineage Factors!”
Sandersonia blinked cutely, flicking her tongue. “This is untrue. We could never compare to Big Sis' beauty.”
Sanji paused, thinking carefully. “The flowers in the meadow or floating down the river or on a tree... individually, we admire them, together they are magnificent. I don't see a need to compare them. Do you?”
“Watch out, Sonia, this one's got a silver tongue,” warned Marigold. Their close-knit sisterly bond was immediately apparent. He couldn't think of anything sweeter!
“I don't mind hearing more...”
At that moment, Sandersonia was firmly but not roughly pushed aside by a smaller figure. Boa Hancock appeared in the center of them. Wordlessly, and to the surprise of everyone there, she bent down (and Sanji saw heaven!), finding a small piece of meat on the deck. “This is what beat me? What's so special about it?” She plucked it into her mouth.
“A~~~nn.” Right then and there, the Snake Princess turned to stone, hearts in her eyes.
“Big Sis!”
“I never thought I'd see this day... Big Sis herself has turned to stone!”
~~~
Every last scrap of meat was eaten or packed away to save for later. The Straw Hats made sure of that.
When the party was over, the Kuja pirates announced their departure.
“I won't give up.” The empress was as stubborn as she looked. “...But I won't interfere either. Luffy, I wish you the greatest happiness your love can grant you.” She glared Sanji's way. “If you ever dare hurt him, I will grind you into meal for Salome.” Sanji gulped.
“Bye, Hancock!” Luffy waved, full of smiles. “Sail safe!”
Boa Hancock stumbled back, flushing. She held her face, turning around. “...Bye Luffy.”
Like a dream, the Kuja pirate ship came and went. Sanji joined Luffy in waving until the tips of the sails were out of sight.
“Man, I'm stuffed,” Luffy said suddenly, “I might not be able to eat for a couple of days.”
Sanji half-staggered to the side, shocked. Luffy voluntarily missing 10 meals in a row? The World Government must have disbanded!
“Just kidding. It was all good though.”
He recovered, sighing in relief.
The carefree voice turned serious: “I didn't really understand Hancock's feelings before, but I do now.”
In due respect, Sanji lit up a cigarette and left the words to mingle with the smoke in the air. He watched the smoke dissipate, wondering once more at its visible intangibility. “I do now too,” he admitted, “So often I thought I was in love in the past, but now that I know the real thing, I wonder if what I felt before was just... a type of idolizing. Like worshiping celebrities kind of thing.”
“Shishishi, you were jealous.”
He unsuccessfully flicked some ash in his companion's direction. “Where are you getting off to, acting so smug?”
Luffy didn't lose an inch of his smile. “But you were!”
“Bah!” Sanji puffed a few times on his cigarette. “She doesn't know you like I know you. You love food and meat and always cause a battle royale at dinner, but that's not everything.” He crossed his arms on the ship railing, resting his head on top of them. “She hasn't seen you when you discover something new and fun, how your first thought is always, 'I want my crew to have this!' And you do everything in your power to get it to us. That, more than anything, is the kind of man you are.”
“That's why you love me?” Luffy stated with glee.
He pulled away from the railing. “Alright, enough of that. Anymore, and your head will be too large to fit through the galley door. Then what would you do?” He started in the direction of said galley.
“I will smash it like this to fit.” Luffy demonstrated the action as he joined him in leaving.
Sanji laughed. “So flattering. I can see why the Snake Princess fell for you.”
He laughed and laughed and laughed, happy to be the one who was chosen.