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Theodora walked into the shop, a little ding! announcing her presence. She was relieved to be back, a weight lifting off her chest.
The shop was as orderly as always; so hardly acceptably so. The sky was a hazy blue outside, cloudy weather reflecting a cool, crisp atmosphere into the shop.
With a sigh, she pulled off her coat and slung it onto a chair, caring less about decency at the moment.
She stepped forward into the empty shop silently.
It's quiet.
"Hello?" She called out, looking around.
Outside, familiar paced footsteps could be heard muffled on the other side of the wall. Shuffling down the stairs.
Ah. He's here after all.
And sure enough, the presence comes down the staircase leading to the barbershop before swinging open the emporium's door unceremoniously. The door handle hits the wall with a thud.
And there stands Sweeney Todd in the doorway, one hand pushed against the door, and an unexpected expression on his face. A multitude of fathomless emotions.
At first, he looks somewhere between alert and confused, then it quickly distorts into shock and pain.
"Theodora " he says, eyebrows pinched slightly and a frown tugging on his pursed lips. But it wasn't anger or displeasure.
Because the next thing that happened –once again completely unexpected– was when Todd swiftly crossed the distance between them.
Theodora was in the middle of raising a half-joking half-questioning eyebrow with a grin and a "yes…?" before Todd was pressed up against her in an all-encompassing hug.
He held her close and emotionally, almost grief-stricken. A broken man. His curls brushed her cheek slightly as his arms wrapped around her, as though trying to absorb her whole.
She froze for a moment, hands stuck in the air and caught off guard, before softly returning the hug.
"You're here…" he whispered, though she couldn't tell if it was a question or not.
She took this grateful albeit confusing opportunity to press closer to him, enjoying this feeling of his care for her. She felt his warmth from his chest and arms pulsing into her body, the slight stubble of his jaw against her face, the softness of his curls pressed to the tip of her nose.
She breathed it all in while she could, that faint smell of warm leather, an unidentified hair product, and clean linen. An undertone of rainwater and the city smoke lingering on his clothes.
His firm hold on her burned pleasantly into her back and waist as he held her close. Her heart swelled as one of his hands began to feel her hair in gentle strokes. He held her as though he wished to forever feel her there in his arms.
She was very reluctant to move from this spot, and so she turned her cheek instead, whispering softly to him.
"Sweeney," she called gently. "What's wrong, darling?"
Instead, to her brief disappointment, it was Todd who first pulled away. Slowly, he pulled apart just enough to face her attentively, hands sliding to her waist.
—come to think of it, she doesn't remember what she had been doing before coming into the pieshop…
His inscrutable eyes narrowed slightly, studying her. His lips vaguely pursed. All the telltale signs of an active pain.
For a moment, only a terrible brief moment, Theodora's mind latched onto a very real possibility that could explain it all. Fear gripped her entire being, and anxiety tensed her muscles.
She shot it down instantly.
At the look in Todd's eyes, mixed with her own fear, she lifted a hand to his cheek, cupping it warmly.
Todd instantly leaned into her touch, quietly breathing in sharply before closing his eyes. A shaky exhale leaving his nose.
Was he going to cry?
One hand on her hip slides to the small of her back as the other leaves to press over hers on his cheek. As his eyes open slowly, his fingers curl around her own, taking her hand from his cheek and sifting his fingers through hers.
"Love," Theodora began again. "Sweeney, what is it?"
His dark, stormy eyes met her own. Flashing with pain and denial.
"Please, you're scaring me."
His eyes flickered with something indistinguishable. A question dangled on his lips wordlessly.
Of course, she knew he was never good with too many words. In a difficult situation –usually pertaining to emotion, like this was evidently becoming– she knew he would struggle to find words.
Nevertheless, her anxiety began to grow.
One million thoughts flew through Todd's head, ranging from grief to indecision. He wanted only to continue to hold Theodora for evermore, to never be without her touch.
The raging storm inside of him begged to only brush her off and be done with the struggle, but his complete and utter longing for her overcame his need to escape the strife.
He knew what he was willing to commit to, but this next step was the most difficult.
So Theodora took the leap.
Her hand squeezed his own, sudden tears brimming in her eyes. Rare tears, meant for delirium alone. Not when she was fully awake and with him.
She inhaled as though a web was spun throughout her throat.
Her watery eyes met his deep ones. A dry laugh escapes her throat. Thick with irony.
"I'm dreaming, aren't I?" She asked.
Todd looks down, eyes narrowed once more, but for another reason.
"You really…" his eyes flickered to her, "can't remember."
She offered him a weak and watery smile, tears flowing down her cheeks. That confirmed it.
Throughout their encounter, she began to suspect that this may not have been the same Sweeney she had been with last.
Her last Sweeney was not nearly so physical. He never accepted her touch so lightly.
So this was a Sweeney she had been with before. At this confirmation, a sob broke through her lips.
She pulled him flush to her, hugging him closer to her shaky body, wracked with sobs. He took her instantly, holding her with just as much desperation.
Her eyes were pinched closed as tears streaked freely down her cheeks. Cheek-to-cheek, her mouth moved with indistinct, hurried words. Usually apologies and vague pleas. Occasionally something about her mother…?
Todd's eyes were wide by only a fraction, flickering back and forth. His eyebrows met slightly, and a frown painted itself across his face. He listened distantly to Theodora's ramblings.
She had always been there to distract him in moments of weakness. Always there to bring comfort to his shifting life, to bring words of depth to change his life.
She was constantly challenging how he saw the world. Never guiding him through the storm, and instead bringing him to more only so they could together frolic in the waves until they could then tame them.
And yet, now as she falls apart underneath countless weights, all he could do was this. Stand by her and listen. She would forever change his life, every time, and he cannot even shift her own.
His longing for her mingled painfully with his hopelessness in the situation. With this, the feeling to have her in his arms again, and the sound of her crying, tears threatened to form in his eyes.
"I'm so sorry," she would whisper. She never apologized for anything.
"It's my fault. I'm sorry," she would beg. She always held herself high with pride.
"–oh, Mother. Why–" she would break out. She never lamented anything.
"Sweeney, my love," she would mourn, despairing. She was always moving forward.
"I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry," she would cry. She was never taking anything seriously.
"I died, didn't I ?" She asked, delicately and fearfully despite already knowing the answer. She was always smart. Always untouchable. She found herself in trouble the same amount of times she bound her way out, laughing all the while.
"I left you alone…" she breathed. She was always with him, a lighthouse in the raging dark storm.
"I failed, again," she said. She always bent the impossible around her, like she was otherworldly. She always achieved what she set out for, against everything else.
"Everything, all again," she breathed out, hopeless and despairing. Theodora was the strongest, the constant. She was sharp, quick. Witty. She never had been absent, and had never been slow.
She shook in his arms, dry sobs and hoarse breathing. His hand, shaking unsteadily, sifted through her hair, curls parting between his firm yet –rarely– gentle fingers.
Not even when she had lain dying in his arms did she feel so weak. Not even when she experienced the most threat she'd ever been in did she cease her laughter. Not even when they returned home to fire and blood did she shed a tear. Not even when she lost it all did she express regret. Not even when she was hopelessly thrown back did she seem powerless.
Until now.
Now, when it all came crashing upon her. Now, when the weight of memory becomes too burdensome to bear.
And Todd didn't know how to shake the weight from her. For once, he too was at his most powerless.
He held her tightly, almost cradling her. Chest contorting at having her again. Grieving still from her loss. This was all he could do to support her as she had him.
"Sweeney," she whispered, as though his name was a cherished prayer, before separating from him with her hands pressed on his arms warmly.
He looked up at her in acknowledgment. She met his eyes.
"I love you," she stated. Todd inhaled. His cheat felt heavy, swelling at her words. "I am so proud of you. You are so strong, so passionate."
Her hand ran through his hair, the other lining the lapel of his vest before feeling up across his shoulder.
"I love you so much. That love grows stronger every day. I admire your fight, and will gladly go on watching after you forever," she continued, feeling across his cheekbone with her thumb. "I will see you again. Of that I am certain.
"But I have a terrible feeling this may be our last meeting. That Mother will be taking me away soon," she smiles, gazing into his with a small, watery chuckle. "I know you don't understand. I've never–" her hand pats as she looks away breifly, cutting herself short, "–but, that's okay. Maybe some day…"
Todd watches, absorbing it all with a stoney expression and a pit in his stomach.
"I don't know when you might see me again. But, please , my love, don't let go ," her eyes soften with a bittersweet smile, tears again forming in her eyes. " Live. Live like I know you can. I love you. Move forward as though I am by your side still."
"Theodora–"
He grabs her hand.
"Because, Sweeney, I am. I will be there with you, walking by your side," she promises, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Whether by the sunlight in your hair, or the lightning across the sky, or the shadows engulfing your room. By candlelight or in red blooms. In the falling rain, or the reflection of the rippled moon."
She smiles. He frowns.
"Or even if you find me in the echoing screams of your late night victims, or their pooling blood," she half-jokes, kissing him again. "I want you to know I will never give up on you. Whether or not Lovett is still there being a nuisance."
"Please, Theo–"
She shakes her head.
"I love you, Sweeney," Theodora said, gripping his vest. "You will always be my best friend. I'll see you again someday."
He gripped her by the cheeks strongly, captivating her attention. Her eyes widen by a fraction as he shouts.
"Theodora!"
And pulls her closer to he by the cheeks, eyebrows furrowed, pressing a rough kiss to her lips. She is caught off guard, before quickly reciprocating his energy. His lips move against hers heatedly and demanding, and his hands slide down to her neck and the small of her back. Communicating his frustration.
Theodora grips the back of his vest tightly with one hand and grabs his curly hair with the other. He leans into her, capturing her lips quickly again and again, feeling hot and breathy.
And he pulls away, heaving breaths leaving his lips silently. Heartbreak wracks his chest. Theodora's eyes open as his lips leave her. She is depending on his arms alone to keep her from slipping backwards now as she leans back.
His hard eyes bore into her with all seriousness as he speaks firmly. Her heart swells pleasantly at his next statement.
"You are not leaving " he states. Closest to anger he had ever come with her directly.
She smiles, ever unexpectedly, and slips a hand to 'boop' the tip of his nose.
"There's the Sweeney I know," she jokes, demeanor changing completely. She kisses the tip of his nose. "I love you."
She was so very fond of saying those three little words today. Todd curses how each one melts away his anger to reveal his sorrow.
And yet, even so, his eyes soften neigh unnoticeably. And though the frown does not leave his face, Theodora knows his mind almost better than he.
"I feel the same," he says. Quiet, resentful toward the situation in which they found themselves.
Theodora's heart swelled in his words, and again as he wrapped his arms around her, burying her into his chest. One hand held the back of her head, and the other was on her back. She gripped the back of his vest.
"I'm grateful…" she whispered into him, "that, aleast once… I finally get to say goodbye…"
And, with his head resting on her's, his cheek on her crown, he finally did cry.
"I won't let you go," he promised with an unwavering voice, silent tears leaving him. He didn't believe himself.
Theodora didn't respond, merely burying here head closer to him. She feels like laughing at the irony.
He had no choice. She would always leave. He couldn't promise that.
He wouldn't remember anyway.
"I won't let you go," he repeats, almost to himself.
"I love you," says Theodora in response. Todd curls around her.
"Theodora," he whisperes to her, begging, "don't leave."
His voice breaks, and Theodora feels her gut clench at his voice. But she is too tired to cry any longer.
"I'm not, silly," she tries, voice also wavering with tears despite her attempts. "I'll still be right here with you. I promise."
And with that, she spaced away from him, before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. Todd cradled the base of her head, returning the kiss softly.
His hand slips to her cheek, pulling her closer. Becoming desperate. He cannot bare to let her go. Not when she just returned. How long had she been with him? How long had she been his only pillar?
More even; how long will he survive without her? Before he breaks?
She parts from him gently, before she cannot, eyes reflecting unfathomable sadness and strength at the same time. She offers him a gentle smile, her hand slipping from under his with incredible reluctance as her light footsteps retreat through the door with a little 'ding' of the bell as he is left staring. She disappears.
She felt like a dream.
She slipped through his fingers so quickly…
He feels like it was never real. Like his mind and body are not his own. Numb.
His face slowly tightens into a vague, pained and almost angry scowl. Few numb tears go unnoticed as they slip down his face. He gazes after her for a moment.
I love you.