Chapter Text
Jade stared at the doughnuts behind the glass. She couldn’t decide which one to get. On one hand, a jelly-filled doughnut was always a classic. On another hand, doughnut holes were a convenient snack. That wasn’t even taking into consideration cream-filled doughnuts. Or... was she in an apple fritter mood instead?
Ugh , Jade always had this problem. Some would call it her one weakness: her indecisiveness. Well, it wasn’t her only weakness. She had many. Doughnuts were another.
Miles didn’t have this problem. He had the opposite problem, actually. He knew which foods he liked and didn’t like, the latter just far outweighed the former.
Speaking of Miles, he wasn’t far behind Jade with the cart. It wasn’t like he had things to do, places to be. Well, he didn’t, but he liked to pretend that he did. He didn’t have a watch, but if he did, he would check it all the time.
Jade settled on an apple fritter. Doughnuts were overrated anyway. Well, mostly overrated. She paused. Miles bumped into her with the cart.
“U-uh, sorry! ...Jade?” Miles didn’t receive a response. Instead, Jade walked back to the doughnuts, put the apple fritter back, and picked up a pack of doughnut holes. She tossed it in the cart, and walked ahead.
“Why don’t you just buy both?” Miles asked.
“Mm, no it’s more complicated than that. You wouldn’t understand.” Jade said. Miles shrugged and pushed the cart, trying to keep up.
Jade’s attention quickly changed to a pack of cupcakes. That was another thing she had a weakness for. She walked up and took a gander. Miles slided up beside her. He didn’t have as much of a sweet tooth, that was for sure.
“I feel an overwhelming urge to purchase these. Like, if I don’t, I might literally explode, you feel me?” Jade said.
“Wouldn’t want that. Better get them, then.” Miles said. And so, the cupcakes landed in the cart.
The produce section was more Miles’ forte. Jade had little interest in whatever this section of the market was trying to sell her. Miles grabbed a slew of fresh fruits and vegetables in a handful of bags. The only thing Jade grabbed from here were strawberries.
“Ohmygosh ohmygosh Miles, look!” Jade dashed over to a stall selling cookies. Another one of Jade’s weaknesses. The sign on the stall read: MAGICAL COOKIES.
“Hey! Seller!” Jade shouted at the stall owner, who was far away, stocking something. They set their bag down and walked over.
“Hey. Small loud child. Whaddya want?” The seller, who had a fantastically fluffy-looking beard, asked while crossing their arms. Miles showed up with the cart and stared at the stand incredulously.
“In what way are these magical? Will I turn into a dog? Will I grow spikes out of my face? Will I gain the ability to turn people inside out? Will I-” Jade began rattling off.
“No, no. They won’t do any of that.” The seller interrupted, their gruff voice clearly a front. “They give you bat wings.”
Jade’s eyes widened and she gasped. “BAT WINGS?! That’s sooo cool!” She jumped up and down and shook her hands back and forth. The seller chuckled warmly.
“So, you interest-”
“UH, yes I’m interested!” Jade held out a handful of coins.
The seller laughed. “Oh, I’m afraid that won’t be enough.”
“What? How much are they?” Jade asked, stepping back.
The seller pointed their finger to the top of the stall, where the sign that read: MAGICAL COOKIES was. Underneath it, in much smaller print, read: 50 COINS.
“Wha- FIFTY?” Jade grabbed the side of the cart and began shaking it, along with Miles. “That’s too much! Fine! Keep your stupid magical cookies. I bet they don’t fucking work anyway. Probably made them wrong. They probably don’t give you bat wings, they probably just make you shit your dumb pants!”
Miles was dragged along with Jade as she took the cart with her off to a different stand. The seller scoffed behind them, but laughed a little at the same time.
“Really told off that seller, huh?” Miles joked.
“Hah, yeah! Did you hear the thing I said about the pants?” Jade boasted.
“I did, it was really... inspired.” Miles said. It wasn’t. She said stuff like that all the time.
They passed dozens of market stalls, some selling foods, some selling weapons or gadgets, others selling dangerous potions or demonic artifacts. Jade loved the market. Of course, most of the magical items were too expensive for the two of them. Same with the weapons, and the gadgets, and the potions, and the artifacts. Basically, most things that weren’t food. Or dumb souvenirs for kids.
Miles jumped in surprise as a crash sounded from behind the two of them. They quickly turned around to see what the ruckus was all about.
A harsh cackling echoed throughout the marketplace, as smoke began to rise from a distant stand. Jade and Miles glanced at each other, nodded, and Jade took off. Miles rummaged through his backpack for a device. He pulled out a small metal orb, clicked a button on it, threw it in the shopping cart, then ran off after Jade. A force field formed around the cart.
Jade got to the scene first. The smoke was rising from a barbecue that was bumbling about on two legs, spilling hot coals all over the grass.
“Oh jeez, oh man. This is, ah, this is a lot. I’m sorry, I’m, oh no I’m just so sorry.” The barbecue person fumbled. The grass was catching fire from the coals. Everything was going wrong. “I’m pretty new to this whole life stuff, man.”
Jade rushed over to the barbecue person, grabbing a small cylinder from her belt. The cylinder extended in both directions, revealing itself to be a retractable staff. She used the staff to pick up the coals and knock them high into the air, one by one.
“Miles! Pool!” She shouted.
Miles had just arrived at the scene, and immediately set his backpack down to rummage through it for the right device. He was out of breath. He grabbed a small cube out of the bag and began fiddling with it. He threw it hastily on the ground in front of him. It exploded into cheese sauce. That... that wasn’t what it was supposed to do.
“That’ll work!” Jade shouted as she jumped up on a nearby stand, then jumped even higher up towards the hot coals she had knocked into the air. She hit them into the cheese sauce with her staff, her feet landing on a patron’s head, then back on the ground. The cheese sauce began to melt, but the hot coals were harmless now. Jade stamped out the lit blades of grass with her staff.
Miles came up and touched the cheese sauce with a special glove, and it reconstituted itself back into the cube. The coals vanished entirely from the equation. From... existence, maybe? Miles wasn’t exactly sure what happened to items that got caught inside of the cube. He made a mental note to do further study.
“Oh heck, I’m really sorry for all this.” The barbecue person apologized.
“Just be careful from here on out, alright?” Jade bumped the barbecue person on the back with her staff. It stumbled a tiny bit, almost dropping a hot coal. Jade reached out and stopped it from falling over. She noticed a small stack of meat inside its head. That’s... not where it was supposed to go. “What’s your name, friend?”
“His name is Gill Grilligan! And he likes inviting his friends over for DINNER!” A high-pitched voice screamed from somewhere in the crowd. Everyone dispersed to reveal a little kid wearing a big pointy hat and pajamas that had eggs and waffles on them. She waved a wand at the stall behind Jade, and a big purple beam came shooting out of it. Jade quickly ducked out of the way as the beam whooshed past her. It hit a stall selling fresh vegetables.
The purple glow focused around a chunk of leafy greens, which grew legs and sprang forth. “Oh, um. Hello.”
“Your name is Anna Arugula! And you like fashion, going shopping, and gossiping with your friends about hot guys!” The loud pajama-wearing child screeched. “Also you want to ask out Gill.”
“Okay.” Anna Arugula stepped down from the stall and walked over to Gill Grilligan. “Would you like to go on a date with me?”
“Oh, hah, wow, um. This is a lot, but, um. Sure!” Gill jumped up and down, coals falling out of him.
“Oh god no.” Jade panicked as she fought to hit the coals into the air faster than they were falling out of Gill. “Miles, pool this time!”
“U-uh, you got it!” Miles fidgeted with the cube, trying to find the right settings to turn it into a pool of water. Click! He threw it on the ground with as much force as he could. He hoped he didn’t break it. The cube shook violently, then transformed and expanded into a metal box with water inside. The coals all splashed harmlessly into the water. Miles hesitated before he touched the pool with the glove. He stared at the coals. He touched the pool. They vanished. He wasn’t any closer to unraveling the mystery.
The little girl growled and stomped her foot. “Rrrgh! Stop messing with my stuff!” She ran off towards the sugary sweets section.
“Oh, no you don’t!” Jade swiftly got up and ran after her. “You wanna take care of those two, Miles?” She shouted behind her.
She was gone before Miles could really get a response in. “Yeah, sure. I’ll take care of them. Take care of...? What do I-?” He looked on at Gill and Anna, who were sitting happily on a blanket, giggling to each other. It seemed like they were taking plenty care of themselves. Miles looked inside Gill’s head. Meat. He sighed. “You two don’t go anywhere, alright?” He asked.
Anna and Gill nodded and agreed in unison. Miles left the scene to follow Jade and the small, screechy one.
Jade turned a corner, tearing up the dirt beneath her. She had her sights on the pointy-hatted menace. “You’re cornered! Nowhere to go! Now give it up, you little gremlin!” Jade shouted.
The child hissed as she backed into the corner. The crowd fled from her. “My name is Breakfast Wizard! And NOBODY tells me what to do!!” She waved her wand in the air and shot it all around her. It hit several of the sweets stalls. Jade gasped. Three sweets-people jumped off the stalls and onto the grass.
“Aww, they’re actually kinda cute!” Jade said.
“Fritter Frank! You’re a writer, and you’re writing a mystery novel!” Breakfast Wizard pointed at the apple fritter. He put on a pair of glasses, pulled a typewriter out of nowhere, and began writing his masterpiece. “Strudel Patricia! Your husband recently left you, and now you’re out for revenge!” The strudel clenched her fist and growled. “And Waldorf Waffle! You’re perfect!” The waffle smiled. “Except that you’re Patricia’s ex!” Waldorf gasped. Patricia gave him a dirty look.
“Okay, maybe this is getting a little out of-” Jade began, stepping away from the sweet treats.
“YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!!” Breakfast Wizard shouted. She picked up a non-sentient apple fritter and threw it at Jade’s face. She laughed as she ran, ducked underneath Jade, and scampered off.
“Augh! Damn!” Jade cursed as she took a bite out of the non-sentient apple fritter, wiped her face, and ran off after Breakfast Wizard. Frank, Patricia, and Waldorf could sort out their own problems.
“Jade, I think we should get your sister involved in thi-WOAH!” Miles jumped as Breakfast Wizard zoomed past him, nearly knocking right into him, laughing all the way. Jade came around the corner, panting.
“Miles.” Jade took a second to breathe. “I think we need to get Lap involved.” She rested her hands on her knees and breathed heavily.
“I completely agree.” Miles pulled his phone out of his pocket, and dialed Jade’s older sister. The phone rang. And rang... and rang. Meanwhile, Waldorf Waffle came running, screaming around the corner. Strudel Patricia was fast behind him with a knife much too big for her.
“Hey! Put that down.” Jade pointed at Patricia, who halted and stared at Jade, wide-eyed. She threw the knife down on the ground and crossed her arms. “Oh, come on. Don’t be like that. What did he ever do to you, I mean really? You’re gonna be this obsessed over an ex? That’s not healthy, girl. You gotta move on.” Jade said.
Strudel Patricia looked up at her, curious.
“Hey, Jade, she’s not picking up.” Miles interrupted.
“What? Well, try her again!” Jade ordered. Miles dialed the number again.
A shrill yelling rang out from deeper in the market. Jade sighed. “Well, if she’s not gonna-” Jade started.
A person suddenly came from up above and slammed on the ground dramatically. Jade and Miles covered their eyes from the dust. When it cleared, they stared in wonder as a tall figure with a large sword flipped their hat backwards, in a super cool way.
Jade gasped. “Lapis!” She ran over and gave her sister a hug. Miles stood, confused. He had no idea how Lapis had gotten here so fast, or why she didn’t pick up the phone.
“Hey, sis. What kind of trouble are you two getting into this time?” Lapis asked.
“It’s not us, it’s this little girl who’s turning the food alive. Look!” Jade pointed to Patricia, who had since returned to her Waldorf-hating ways. “Oh, shit. I thought I got through to her. I guess nothing can quench her thirst for blood... or, syrup? I don’t know. It’s weird. You gotta help us.”
Lapis looked on in horror as Strudel Patricia caught up to Waldorf Waffle, and began pinning him down. “Yeah, alright, that’s fucked up. Let’s go find this little girl.” Lapis led Jade and Miles through the market towards the sound of shrieking.
Breakfast Wizard was laughing maniacally, standing above an army of breakfast minions. “Aahahahaha! Aaaahahahahaha!! Try and stop me now, you dinks!” She screeched. Beneath her, a plethora of food warriors marched towards Lapis, Jade, and Miles.
“Okay.” Lapis set her sword aside and began kicking the food warriors. One by one, they all fell. Breakfast Wizard looked on anxiously as her army was utterly decimated by some mediocre kicks. Lapis truly was not putting much effort into this.
“NooooOOOOOO!! Popcorn Jon! Retreat!” The bag of popcorn ordered his troops to fall back. “Egg Samuel! Tend to the wounded!” The egg sandwich ran over to those that were smashed or kicked to utter smithereens.
“Should... should we stop?” Jade asked.
“...Yeah. Probably.” Lapis sat down on the grass, crossing her legs, and picking her sword back up. “So. You give up?”
Breakfast Wizard threw herself on the ground, tears welling up in her eyes. She faced away from the trio, grumbling to herself.
“What’s your name?” Lapis asked.
“brkfstwzrd” Breakfast Wizard mumbled.
“What was that?” Lapis asked, holding her hand up to her ear.
“RrrrgGGHH, I said I’m Breakfast Wizard! And nobody! I mean NOBODY! TELLS! ME! WHAT! TO! Oop!” Lapis scooped up the small child and held her in the air.
“Hey. You wanna be tossed up into the clouds?” Lapis asked.
“Wh-what?” Breakfast Wizard squeaked out.
Without hesitating, Lapis reared up and tossed the child into the air as hard as she could. Jade and Miles stood in shock, jaws wide open, speechless.
“What? Usually calms kids down.” Lapis shot back once she noticed their horrified stares. “Worked on you, anyway.” She bent her knees, then launched herself into the sky. She caught Breakfast Wizard in her arms midair. Jade had no recollection of being thrown into the sky as a kid.
“Hey. You learn your lesson?” Lapis asked. Breakfast Wizard nodded furiously, unable to make a sound.
Lapis grabbed a tree on her way down and jumped off it, Breakfast Wizard in hand. The two landed safely on the ground in front of Jade and Miles. She set the child down.
Breakfast Wizard was frozen still, unable to speak.
“Huh. Okay, well you never did that before, Jade.” Lapis said.
Breakfast Wizard slowly stood up, brushed herself off, and took a look around her. She took a deep breath in. “PATRICIA! ASSISTANCE!” She screamed at the top of her lungs. Jade, Miles, and Lapis all had to cover their ears. Clearly she hadn’t learned her lesson.
Strudel Patricia came running up, knife held above her. Lapis bent down and took the knife from her easily, but Patricia held on for dear life. “Hey, seriously. What’s your goal by making all these little fellas?” Lapis asked.
“You’re a stinky grown-up, you wouldn’t understand!” Breakfast Wizard shot back. She grumbled and growled and started fidgeting with her wand. She started cackling again. She stood up and gave her wand a thwack with her hand. The energy glowing around it started changing from purple to red. She started cackling harder.
“Well, that can’t be good.” Jade said.
“I just had my wand set the wrong way. Now let’s see what I can do!” Breakfast Wizard aimed her wand at a nearby stand that sold vegetable stew. Jade, Miles, and Lapis dodged out of the way, ducking to the ground. Patricia held onto the knife with every fiber of her being.
The stand began glowing with sinister red energy. The largest pot of stew began to rattle and shake, eventually spilling over. The stew began expanding, bubbling, rising, crawling out of the pot and onto the ground. It began to grumble and groan, reaching a slimy hand out towards Jade.
“Eek!” Jade jumped back, swatting the stew monster with her staff, but to little effect. Breakfast Wizard was laughing so hard she was on the ground, clutching her stomach, crying.
“Get back!” Lapis shouted as she shot herself between Jade and the stew monster. It had since grown a goopy face. It started to hoist itself up on two legs, and faced Lapis head-on. “Oh, jeez.” Lapis muttered.
The stew monster swiped at Lapis, but missed. Lapis reared her sword back and swung at the monster, but her sword sliced clean through it, leaving no mark. The monster sloppily laughed and snarled, charging at Lapis. It grappled her arms and roared in her face, spewing vegetable chunks at her.
“Hyup!” Jade slid over to Lapis’ side and began whacking furiously at the stew monster with her staff. Stew chunks flew everywhere. “Ugh, is vegetable stew even a breakfast food? What’s your deal, B.W.?”
“ANY meal can be breakfast if you eat it at breakfast time!” Breakfast Wizard shouted.
“It’s not working! We need to destabilize it somehow!” Miles shouted.
“That’s where you come in, is it not?” Jade kept swatting to no avail. Her rage carried her limbs.
Miles ran over to his backpack, which was lying on the ground a few feet away from him.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Breakfast Wizard shot a magical beam at Miles’ bag. It started to glow with red energy.
Miles stopped in his tracks. He had several packs of raisins in there! The bag started shaking, and a pair of claws burst out, pulling the bag open from the inside. Out slid a lizard-looking thing composed of raisins.
“D-d-drryyyy...” The lizard rasped and coughed. It meandered its way over to Miles and took a swipe at him with its claws. They harmlessly squished up against his leg.
“Huh.” Miles picked up the raisin lizard. “That’s unfortunate for you.” He tossed the lizard in Breakfast Wizard’s direction, who recoiled as it crashed into her with full force. Miles rushed back over to his bag and rummaged through it.
“RRRNGH, get off of me, you lump!” Breakfast Wizard growled, pushing the raisin lizard off. “You’re all a bunch of... a bunch of... aaAARRRGGGHHHHHH EAT DIRT!” She started blasting randomly into the sky in a fit.
“Miles, any day now!” Lapis shouted, still fighting to get her arms back from the stew monster. Jade had since given up on slashing at it, and was now sitting on the ground, panting.
“I’m looking, I’m looking!” Miles started sweating furiously. Destabilizer, destabilizer, destabilizer... the cube caught his eye. Cube...
The cube came hurtling towards the stew monster, getting stuck inside. It vibrated slightly inside the goop. The monster paused, allowing Lapis a moment to wrestle her arms back. The cube shook, and expanded into cheese sauce, which mixed with the creature, making it bigger and cheesier. And drippier. It roared at Lapis.
“Miles!” Lapis yelled.
“S-sorry! My fingers must’ve slipped! Also, my destabilizer isn’t in here! I have no idea why!” Miles shot back.
“Uhhh, I might have an idea.” Jade began. “I maaaay have used it to play a prank on Tim.”
“Tim? That kid who got his leg stuck in an icewasp’s nest?” Lapis asked.
“Yeah, that’s him.” Jade replied.
“A prank? What kind of prank?” Miles asked.
Jade shot up, and her eyes lit up. “Well, I baked this cake, see? And-”
“Hey, dorks, eyes up. Stew and cheese monster.” Lapis interrupted. “Any ideas? I’d rather not my cause of death be ‘slain by living food,’ you know? I love food.”
“Why don’t you just cook it?” A booming, bassy voice rang out. A moment later, a plume of flame gathered around the stew-and-cheese monster, boiling it in an instant. Lapis jumped back, the heat strong on her face. Jade ran behind her. Breakfast Wizard looked on in horror as her creation was utterly destroyed, hot chunks flying everywhere.
The plume of flame disappeared, revealing a goopy mass of stew on the ground. Breakfast Wizard looked beyond the mass, at a tall fiery figure standing off in the distance. She glared.
“Breakfast Wizard, you know you’re not supposed to be here.” The figure called out. “Not after the last time, where you-” The figure looked around at all the food people Breakfast Wizard had created. “Well, where you did exactly this.” He said. Breakfast Wizard snarled back at him.
“Woah, do you know who that is?” Jade’s eyes lit up as she realized who was talking. “That’s Flame Wizard! He’s like, one of the coolest wizards there is! He once thwarted an entire dragon battalion by himself!” Jade laughed. Flame Wizard approached. “Yeah, he just hit all their fireballs back at them. It’s pretty cool, you know, since he’s made of flame.”
“Yeah, I am pretty cool, aren’t I?” Flame Wizard boasted as he walked up to the scene. “Pretty cool for a fire guy.” He struck a pose. Some of the crowd members cheered and hollered. Jade was awestruck.
“Here to squash my fun again?” Breakfast Wizard growled.
“Yup. You were banned from this market, remember? Banned means you can’t come here.” Flame Wizard walked up to Breakfast Wizard. “And what is this?” He shot a glance at the raisin lizard. “Getting experimental?”
“They pushed me to it!” Breakfast Wizard pointed at Lapis, Jade, and Miles. “They attacked first!”
“That’s a lie! We were just putting out the fires that Gill started!” Jade yelled.
“Now, now, there’s no reason to-” Flame Wizard started.
“But she kicked everyone! Kicked everyone with her dirty, gross, grown-up feet!” Breakfast Wizard shouted in Lapis’ direction.
“I think my bigger offense would’ve been throwing you into the sky, no?” Lapis asked, placing a hand on her hip.
“You, wait- What?” Flame Wizard asked.
“Speaking of Gill, somebody should go check on him to make sure he hasn’t set anything else on fire.” Miles interjected.
“He can do what he wants!” Breakfast Wizard shouted.
“Alright, everybody quiet!” Flame Wizard shot a fireball in the air to get everyone’s attention. “Where are the rest of these creations?”
“I’ll go round them up.” Miles offered, running off to find Gill Grilligan and Anna Arugula. As he did, Strudel Patricia walked up, knife in hand. Popcorn Jon appeared from the sidelines, bruised. Egg Samuel was dragged along, as he had passed out from exhaustion. Fritter Frank walked up excitedly, manuscript in hand.
“Where’s Waldorf Waffle?” Breakfast Wizard asked, looking around at her collection. Patricia put the knife on the ground and shrugged. Breakfast Wizard eyed her. “That’s my girl, Patricia.” She whispered. Patricia nodded.
Miles came up, hand in hand with Gill Grilligan and Anna Arugula, who had since lost an entire chunk off her head. “Yeah. So. The grill and the leaf.” Miles panted. “In hindsight, it’s pretty obvious that something was going to go wrong.”
“Such is love.” Breakfast Wizard sighed. Miles gave her a worried look.
Flame Wizard stared at the odd collection of food people. He sighed. “Alright. Do you know who’s going to have to pay for all of these?” He asked. “Me. Since I’m the one who showed up looking for you. Come on, let’s go.”
Breakfast Wizard stood up slowly, grabbing the hands of her little food friends and walking them along. “Bunch of stinky adults. Stink, stink, stink! Ew, gross, what are those, taxes?” Breakfast Wizard sneered, specifically in Lapis’ direction.
“Yyyup. I do taxes. Boo.” Lapis mocked. Breakfast Wizard stuck her tongue out.
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, before you go.” Jade rushed in front of Flame Wizard. “Could I, like, get your autograph or something? I just think it’s really cool the way you-”
“Ahaha, I can give you my autograph, but I’m not sure how cool I am.” Flame Wizard winked. Jade gasped. She couldn’t believe she walked into the same joke twice. She pulled out her staff. Flame Wizard stamped his finger on the handle, branding a small F.W. on it. Jade jumped up and down, stimming.
Flame Wizard gently pushed her aside and continued walking with Breakfast Wizard and her food people. The two disappeared into the crowd eventually.
“Welp. I’m off.” Lapis said as she began walking off.
“Hold on. Earlier, how did you get here so fast?” Miles asked.
“Oh, I was already here.” Lapis stated. She pulled a fluffy beard out of her pocket and cleared her throat. “Ahem, you want a magical cookie?” She said with a gruff voice.
“That was you!?” Jade exclaimed. “Wait, did you hear the thing I said about the pants!?”
“Yup.” Lapis said.
“Was it good? It was pretty good right?” Jade asked.
“Nah. You say stuff like that all the time.” Lapis retorted as she took a cookie out of her pocket and ate it.
“See? I told you they didn’t work.” Jade scoffed.
A pair of bat wings suddenly grew out of Lapis’ back. “Heh, sick.” She said as she flapped them and flew off. “Bye, nerds.”
“Awww, not fair. I want bat wings...” Jade protested.
“Hey, what if I designed you a pair of wings?” Miles offered. “I could give them lasers. And a cup holder.”
Jade’s face beamed. “Hell yeah. I love lasers.”
The two walked off back to their cart, which was safely contained inside the force field Miles had left it in. They resumed their shopping in peace, uninterrupted by rogue food people.
“Hey, so what was that prank you pulled on Tim?” Miles asked.
“Oh yeah! So, I baked this cake see? And then I gave it to him, and right when he was about to take a bite, I used the destabilizer on the cake, and it goopified right in his face!” Jade excitedly explained.
“Oh. That’s it?” Miles asked.
“Yeah.” Jade said.
Miles paused. “Heh. Sick.” He chuckled.