Work Text:
"Hao hyung." The moment the door opened, Hanbin immediately rose from his seat, welcoming his boyfriend with the biggest smile on his face.
Zhang Hao just got home after a long day at work. Feeling tired, being with Hanbin radiates comfort, and seeing the younger welcome him lightened his mood and fatigue. Without caring, Hao immediately dropped everything and engulfed the younger, hugging him tight. "Hi, jagiya. How's your day?"
"It's fine. But you okay? You looked much tired today."
Silence...
The silence surrounds the atmosphere. Without answering, Hao quietly tightened his hold on his boyfriend's waist, pulling him much closer, snuggling his face on the younger's neck, and inhaling the familiar scent to look for some comfort. From the shown response, Hanbin knew that Hao was extremely tired and needed rest. "Hao..." "Let's stay like this for a while, Bin."
Hearing his boyfriend's request, Hanbin complied with it. His Hao needs him, and he's willing to be there for him even though standing may cause numbness to his feet after a long time.
A couple of minutes have passed. Hanbin broke the silence, concerned that Hao might fall asleep due to tiredness. "Baby, I know how much you want to hug me, but have you eaten? I prepared something for you just in case. Let's eat then rest, okay?" Grumbles are heard from Hao as Hanbin wakes him up from his little slumber, but not wanting to disappoint the younger, he forces himself to pull away from his comfort.
"Bin... I don't want to eat. Let's just rest for today, shall we?" After that, Hao just grabbed and tugged Hanbin into their shared room. The younger noticed that exhaustion was overwhelming Hao, making him not wanting to argue with the older anymore.
"Good night, Hao ge... You worked so hard today. Binnie loves you." Hearing Hanbin, Hao finally gave in to rest. He's grateful to have his boyfriend, his other half, his soulmate, his Hanbin on his side.
-----
"Ugh..." A groan immediately left Hao's mouth the time he stepped foot in their shared apartment. The lights are all turned off as he expected. Careful with his steps but accidentally stepped on the wrong foot, making him stumble, creating a loud thud.
"Hao hyung? Is that you?" A slurred voice entered his system, making Hao turn his head and find a sleepy yet awakened Hanbin on the sofa. "Bin? Why are you sleeping there?"
"I'm waiting for Hao hyung to come home..."
"Baby, you don't have to do that." Feeling guilty, Hao immediately went to sit on the sofa, lifting Hanbin carefully like a porcelain doll. He knew that Hanbin always waited for him, but it never failed to make his heart skip a beat. "Aren't you tired? Your job is also tiring you, baobei. I know that. You shouldn't wait for me and sleep."
"No, don't worry about me. I'm not tired but Hao Ge is exhausted. I want to be here and wait for you until you get home. Binbin needs his Gege to sleep."
"But baobei-" Hanbin didn't let Hao finish his sentence and placed a peck on his lips, interrupting him. "No more... Hanbin can't sleep without Gege. Hanbin sleeps better with Hao hyung." His words come out quite a mumble and slur due to sleepiness, but Hao still understands him. Seeing Hanbin so dependent on him made him feel things.
It's adorable.
Everything about Hanbin is adorable.
Like Hanbin's sparkly eyes whenever they had eye contact.
Hanbin's shy and whisker smile every time he's embarrassed about things.
Hanbin's peaceful state whenever his sleeping.
Hanbin's lips every time he pouts unconsciously.
And lastly, Hanbin's every love language whenever he's with him.
Everything about Hanbin is perfect.
Everything about his boyfriend is a death of him.
"Hyung." Hao woke up from his imagination when Hanbin spoke to him. Putting his whole attention to the younger as he finally speaks, "Yes, baby? Do you need something?"
"Binnie wants to sleep. Want to cuddle with Gege now, please?" Hao felt his heart skip after hearing Hanbin's request. It may be a simple reason, but for Hao, it's a special thing.
It's kind of a rare thing when Hanbin asks for something. It's always the other way around .
Hao looking for Hanbin for comfort .
Hanbin beside him after an exhausting day.
Hanbin reminds him to take care of himself .
Hanbin making Hao felt loved.
Just Hanbin himself being Hao's safe place.
And lastly, Hao knew that Hanbin was willing to drop everything just for him.
And Hao wants to do the same thing to Hanbin, willing to reciprocate every action to tell his boyfriend that he's perfect for him every single day .
Hearing his boyfriend's plea, Hao immediately complied with the Hanbin's request and lifted him, gently placing him in their shared bed. The younger immediately slips into a deep slumber the moment his head hits the pillow, pulling a sigh of relief on Hao's lips, feeling restful seeing the younger taking a rest after a long day.
"You did so well today, my Binnie. Hyung is very proud of you." After the words left his lips, Hao left a soft peck on Hanbin's lips before taking care of himself to sleep.
-----
A couple of months.
It's been over a few months since Hao and Hanbin had a proper conversation.
Limited interaction and communication. A short exchange of words before leaving and going home when one of them is already asleep.
Hanbin became busier than usual, while Hao was still the same, exhausted as expected. Due to these circumstances, the time for each other became less and less worrying Hanbin so much.
The routine they had vanished in a second.
Hanbin waiting for Hao to get home.
Hao finding comfort in him.
Hanbin's daily cuddles with Hao.
Hao's morning routine for the both of them.
And lastly, their late-night kisses until falling asleep.
Everything changes. Everything vanished.
Even though he wanted to wait for Hao to come home like in the old times, he always found himself dozing due to fatigue and waking up, yearning to see Hao beside him but seeing no one. Searching the whole apartment, even Hao's presence or even his silhouette couldn't be found around the place. Feeling disappointed, Hanbin glimpsed at the clock, revealing it was still 7 in the morning.
"He left early... as expected. Why should I be shocked? it's always the same routine. Him leaving early and then coming home late." Hearing his own words, Hanbin can't help but reminisce about the moments when Hao still has time for him even with a packed schedule.
-a year ago-
"Baobei, I'm home." Hao immediately greeted Hanbin as he opened the door of their apartment. When Hanbin heard Hao's voice, he sprinted out of the room to their living room, glad to know that Hao was finally back. Without caring, he straight away launched himself to his boyfriend, not afraid of falling down but luckily, Hao instantly caught him on time. "Bing, be careful. You're gonna hurt yourself."
"Hao ge... I miss you."
"I miss you too. Hyung's sorry if I got home late today. How are you?"
"No need to say sorry. I'm just glad that Hyung is finally home." Hanbin doesn't really care if Hao gets home late. He doesn't care about anything else as long as Hao will come home to him.
"Good morning, Hao hyung. What'cha doin'?" Still sleepy, Hanbin found Hao in their kitchen, preparing something. "Hi, baby. I'm preparing our breakfast. Just stay there, I'll take care of everything."
Hao always made Hanbin feel like royalty every time he could.
Hao makes sure to always ensure that he's his priority and Hanbin loves that.
"Ge, you sure you don't want any help there?" Hanbin teasingly asked Hao as he saw the older quite having a hard time and laughed when Hao cutely frowned at him, not wanting to make Hanbin move from his seat. "Ayyy, just sit still. I had everything under control. Just stay there or I'll tie you up."
With the endearing blackmail, he felt a smile creeping on his face, watching Hao from behind. "I can't believe that you're mine."
"Did you say something, baby?"
"It's nothing. Just focus on what you're doing." He just watched his boyfriend with fondness in his eyes, as the older set their breakfast on the table. With the simple action of Hao, he still can't believe that Hao is his boyfriend, that he is his and no one else. "Let's eat now. Eat well, my baobei."
"Thank you, ge. I love you."
-flashback ends-
Recalling everything, Hanbin didn't even realize that he was crying, not until he felt tears escape from his eyes, flowing and staining his rosy cheeks. He doesn't know why but his eyes won't stop crying and he hates that. Hanbin hated the most is him crying, not wanting to feel fragile in any situation.
"Yah, Sung Hanbin. Why are you crying early in the morning? You don't like it when you cry, right? You're not like this. You hate seeing yourself like this. So, stop crying like a baby and man up. You're not tired or anything. You're perfectly fine." Scolding himself, he roughly wiped his tears and finally fixed himself. He stared at his reflection, with a smile plastered on his face but it never reached his eyes like always.
"Bin-ah... You're gonna be fine... I promise."
"H-hao hyung... even just now, spend time with me."
" Hanbin-ah! Can you stop?! We've talked about this. I'm exhausted, why can't you understand t hat?! I don't have time for you. Let me take a break. " Hanbin flinched, hearing his boyfriend yell at him for the first time .
"B-but..." "I'm tired, Hanbin-ah. Stop being too dependent on me." Hao uttered as he ruffled his hair, expressing exhaustion and anger as he left their apartment. Hanbin just watched Hao slam the door before finally losing control and letting his tears fall like waterfalls.
"How about me? I'm also exhausted. I can't do this anymore, gege."
Hanbin hated this. He wished that everything would come back to him again.
"Maybe it's time to rest for a while. This setup is getting out of hand." Hanbin collected himself before making a phone call to certain someone.
"Jiwoong hyung, can I stay with you for a while, please? I want to ease my mind."
-----
"... Stop being too dependent on me."
Hao is currently in his own office with a few workloads but he can't seem to focus due to some circumstances. It's been two weeks since the incident happened between him and Hanbin and it's still haunting him. His sudden outburst and words kept repeating in his mind, driving him completely crazy. He felt guilty and beyond mad at himself because of his actions.
He misses Hanbin and he can't deny it. He always found himself seeking the comfort that the younger radiates but he knew he couldn't. Hanbin needed space after the argument and he's willing to grant it. After the incident, Hao didn't see Hanbin even once, thinking that the latter locked himself in their guest room.
He's aware that Hanbin needs space, but he can't stop himself anymore. He can't wait any longer and wants to see the younger one again.
"Fuck this. I need to see him now. I can't resist anymore." Rising from his seat, Hao rushed immediately to his boss slash hyung's office, slamming the door, startling the older inside. "Hao-ya, what happened?"
"Hoetaek hyung, I'm taking a leave." Lee Hoetaek, the boss just stared at Hao without blinking which made Hao quite conscious of his action. "Uhm, boss... Hyung..."
"You finally decided to let yourself take a break don't you?"
"Huh?"
"You're overworking yourself for no reason. I know that you're hardworking but what you're doing is too much. You can't focus and I can see it. You're not fine and I'm not dumb not to notice that." Hoetaek smiled at the younger and made him feel at ease. Hao felt more relieved than expected. "Hyung, I'm fine. It's just that..."
"No need to explain, whatever your reason is, it’s fine. You may take your leave. You don’t need to think anything about work, the team will take care of it.”
Hearing Hoetaek’s words, Hao immediately thanked his boss before rushing to his car, happy to think that he'd be seeing Hanbin again after a long time.
"Wait for me, baobei. Gege is finally coming home."
-----
Hanbin is currently at Jiwoong's place, easing his mind. He knew that he needed to rest but he can't seem to stop thinking about his boyfriend. His mind always wonders if Hao is resting properly and taking care of himself while he isn't there. He wants to go home, he wants to go back but his mind seems to do the opposite, thinking that Hao needs space for a while.
"Hanbin-ah, may I come in?" A voice called him, catching his attention. A person was standing at his room's door, staring at him, asking for permission to come in. "Jiwoong hyung... Sure, you don't need to ask for permission."
"You're on your thoughts, and I don't want to startle you from coming in. I know how you hated it when someone disturbs you from it."
"Whatever." Hanbin rolled his eyes but a faint smile slipped on his lips, feeling quite pleased due to Jiwoong's attentiveness. “Ben, thinking about Hao?”
“Am I too obvious, hyung?” Jiwoong chuckled silently, “Hao always occupied your pretty mind, that’s why. Too worried?”
“Ne… I’m worried that he might forget to take care of himself and everything. Someone needs to look for him and that’s me, but I think I’m being too clingy and dependent on him and it’s suffocating him. Hyung, tell me… Am I gonna lose him?” Hanbin’s eyes began to water and a tear slipped from it, and Jiwoong noticed it, and immediately placed his hand on the younger’s cheek to wipe the tears that kept escaping. “Bingbing, stop crying. You will never lose him. Never… You understand?”
“B-but, we got into a fight, and it’s different from the previous arguments that we had. What if… he thinks that he deserves better? What if I’m not enough? What if… he doesn’t love me anymore?” Before Hanbin continues, Jiwoong immediately envelops the younger in a hug, letting him cry on his shoulder without saying anything.
The hug lasted for a couple of minutes as the younger finally settled down and the place was surrounded by silence with just their joined calm breathings. “Bing?”
The said name didn’t answer, making Jiwoong look at the shorter and saw that Hanbin already left to dreamland, finally peacefully sleeping after sobbing too much.
Kring kring kring…
Hanbin’s phone began to ring, but since he was already asleep, Jiwoong decided to answer the phone, after settling the younger into the bed, letting him sleep properly. He leaned in and left a kiss on the younger’s forehead, whispering, “ Sleep tight, pretty. Woongie hyung will always be here.”
Looking at the sleeping figure on the bed for the last time, Jiwoong finally took the phone with him and answered,
“Hello?”
-----
Rushing to go home, Hao finally reached their apartment in no time, panting. “Baobei, I’m home.” Slamming the door, he immediately went inside, but silence welcomed him. Hao thought that Hanbin might still be mad at him after what he did but decided to approach him to fix everything. Walking around the house, his feet brought him to their apartment’s guest room, knocking as he thought that his Bingbing was inside that room.
“Bingbing, hyung is here. May I come in?”
Silence…
“Baobei, are you still mad at me? Please, can you open the door?” Knocking multiple times, Hao still didn’t get any answer from inside. Quite hesitating, he tried to turn the knob, realizing that the door was unlocked. Carefully setting his foot inside, expecting to see a bump in the bed, but saw nothing. Carefully approached the bed, and opened the blanket but saw no one underneath it. It finally sunk to him that Hanbin wasn’t in the room and Hao immediately panicked.
“Hanbin-ah!” Searching across their apartment but Hanbin wasn’t found. From the kitchen, living room, bathroom, balcony, or even their shared room, not even the younger’s silhouette can be found. Various what-ifs immediately occupied his mind, overthinking that Hanbin might leave him, or even worse, Hanbin already left him. Rethinking the last thought, he stumbled across the room and immediately opened their shared closet, and a sigh of relief escaped as seeing the younger’s clothes were still in there. The heavy feeling got lifted for a while, but worry took place as the Hanbin wasn’t in their apartment. Looking for his phone, Hao instantly called his baby’s phone, ringing a couple of times before it finally picked up.
“Hello…” A quiet but deep voice welcomed him, confusing Hao with the sudden change of tone. Not answering, another response was heard, calling his name, “Hao-yah. It’s me. ”
Hearing it once again, Hao finally recognized the deep voice from the other side. “Woong hyung.”
“Hey, it’s been a while…”
“Hyung-ah… Bingbing…”
“Hanbinie’s currently sleeping right now, that’s why I answered your call.” His worry finally got lifted from his shoulder, knowing that his baobei was safe. “How was he?”
“Fine. Got tired from sobbing too much. He’s worried sick, Hao.” Hearing the older statement, Hao felt a lot guilty, knowing that Hanbin had been crying because of him. Desperate about everything, Hao asked Jiwoong if he could go there, but the other line stood silently, making him want to take back what he said, yet he felt overjoyed when Jiwoong let him.
“I’m letting you come over, but don’t push him too much. He already had enough.”
“Ne… I promised.” Hao left his last words before hanging up, running towards his car, and driving straight to Jiwoong’s apartment.
-----
Feeling the light shining in his eyes, Hanbin finally woke up from his sleep, still with a heavy heart. Seeing that it’s already morning, wanting to start his day but seems that he can’t move even just a bit as it feels like something is restraining him from moving. Looking across the place, it’s the same but a certain person is beside him, sleeping while hugging him. Staring at the figure, he eventually recognized the person and accidentally pushed him out of bed, letting a huge thud surround the whole room.
“Woong hyung!!!”
“What happened?!” The door opened instantly, revealing a panting and shocked Jiwoong. Staring at each other, they didn’t notice the person waking up from their sleep due to the impact of meeting the floor. “Ouch…”
“Hao-yah. Are you alright?” With a simple gesture, Hao stated that he was fine, but Hanbin couldn’t believe that Hao was there, in the same room as him. Feeling the tension, Jiwoong quietly excused himself, leaving the couple alone on their own. “Baobe-…”
“What are you doing here?”
“I-…”
“Answer my question. What are you doing here? And how did you know I’m here?” Seeing Hanbin’s reaction, Hao knew that the younger was still mad at him. Afraid of irritating him even more, he answered him quavering. “I called you last night, but Jiwoong hyung picked up, and let me come over.”
“Then you may leave. We don’t have anything to tal-…”
“Bingbing, Gege is sorry. Please, just listen to me.” Hanbin stared at Hao, but the moment he saw the older’s teary eyes, he immediately looked away, not wanting to be affected. “Just please. You don’t need to say anything and I’m not forcing you, but just this once, listen to hyung, okay?” Waiting for the response, Hanbin left a nod, giving a signal for him to continue.
“I know that my exhaustion isn’t an excuse for being an asshole so, I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I yelled at you. I’m sorry if I said those things to you. I don’t know what to say but I know you’re mad, I’m also mad at myself, we have in common now. I can’t force you to forgive me, but please, don’t avoid me. I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t imagine my day, week, month, year, decade, and the rest of my life not seeing you with me, by my side. I’ll do anything just for you to forgive me, just don’t leave me. I can’t see my future without you, and I’d go crazy if it happened. Please, baobei… Gege is extremely sorry for the way I act. I’m sorry…” Hao choked up after finishing his statement, his tears kept pouring on his face, looking down as if he didn’t want Hanbin to see his pathetic self.
The place was all quiet. No reaction, just breathing from the two of them. Hao calmed himself down, before raising his head, looking at Hanbin with a sad smile and his eyes met the other, sobbing as well with him. Without hesitation, he approached the younger and wiped the tears staining his beautiful face and he felt happy that Hanbin didn’t avoid his touch, letting him do what he wanted. “Bingbing… Stop crying now. I’m hurting to see to cry.”
“Hyung-ah… Why are you like this?” Hanbin’s sobbing gets louder as Hao hugs him. Hanbin missed the warmth. He missed this feeling, and he couldn’t help but cry even more. “I don’t deserve you…”
“Baobei, it’s the other way around. I don’t even think that I deserve someone like you. A perfect little angel with me is already a miracle that happened to me and I’m such a jerk for hurting someone like you.”
“Mianhe, gege. Bingbing is also sorry.” Hao shook his head, disagreeing with Hanbin, and hugged him even tighter.
He felt ecstatic. Having Hanbin once again in his arms makes him complete.
Feeling the warmth within their body gave him butterflies and he’s grateful that they’re finally fine. And he promised himself that he’d be better as he knew that they both deserved it.
Looking down, Hao admired the little koala hugging his torso, looking cute after crying.
Feeling the stare, Hanbin looked and stared back. Desperate from the affection, he leaned and kissed his lips, leaving a loving affection to the other. Quite taken back, Hao widened his eyes which got Hanbin giggling. Feeling the atmosphere, Hao leaned on his ear, whispering, “I love you” multiple times, leaving Hanbin all red with just a simple statement.
“I love you too, Gege…” Hiding on Hao’s neck, he replied as the older finally took his lips and sealed them with his once again.