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Language:
English
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Published:
2023-11-25
Updated:
2023-11-25
Words:
1,179
Chapters:
9/10
Comments:
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Merchant of Venice but Shylock is Antonio's Sugar Daddy and Bassanio is a vape addict

Summary:

Antonio needs a sugar daddy

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Antonio: Yo guys, im so so so sad but i dunno why.

Salarino: Maybe you are worried about your ships?

Solanio: Tbh i would be worried as well if i had all my ships out.

Antonio: nah bro

Solanio: Maybe you just need a sugar daddy..

Antonio: thou art correct. I do, uwu. But who...

Chapter 2

Summary:

3000 ducats

Chapter Text

[Later with Bassanio]

 

Bassanio: Antonio can i have some ducats?

*Bassanio inhales his strawberry flavoured vape*

Antonio: You got to stop buying vapes bro, its unhealthy. Plus you never pay me back. I literally gave you 200 ducats last week and you spent it all on vapes!

Bassanio: It's not for vapes this time! There's this super duper rich heiress called Portia, she's really hot bro. I really, really want to kiss her and marry her and fuc- uh you get the point.. The problem is, that I need 3000 ducats to travel there. You can give it to me!! You're like super rich. Please bro, i need it.

Antonio: Bassanio...

Bassanio: Give me the money, man.

Antonio: Look, I don't have the ducats right now, my ships are not here yet. Let's go ask Shylock, he's a rich moneylender. he can give us a loan.

Bassanio: Sure

*Bassanio inhales his vape*

Chapter 3: Shylock

Summary:

Antonio gets his sugar daddy

Chapter Text

[They go to Shylock]

Antonio: Hey Shylock, my good friend! Would you please lend me 3000 ducats, my friend needs to rizz up a girl and I promise to return it in three months.

Shylock: Fuck off Antonio, noone likes you. Remember what you did to me last week?

[A week ago]

Antonio: You dog! Fuck off! Nobody likes you, Shylock!! *Spits on him*

Shylock: Why don't you take your Christian ass and go away hoe. I hate you!!

Antonio: You furry fucker..you ugly shart eater! you dog! I despise you!..we all do. I hope your balls fall off! Ugh!

Shylock: leave me alone bitch i hope you loose all your ducats!!

Antonio: I hate you! Shylock? More like ShyCOCK.

[Back to present]

Antonio: Shylock, please. Im sorry! I was in a bad mood, I didn't mean it.

Shylock: Fuck off.

Antonio: Please please please!! I'll literally do anything!!

Shylock: Wait..anything? Fine, I'll allow it...but on one condition.

Antonio: Sure, Shylock.

Shylock: You have to become my discord kitten. If you refuse I shall have a pound of thy thick juicy ass instead.

Antonio: ok

*Shylock Gives him a bag of ducats*

Antonio: By the way, can u be my sugar daddy?

Shylock: yes, Antonio. Meow for me, my kitten.

Antonio: meow

Chapter 4: 3 boxes

Chapter Text

[At Belmont]

Portia: ok so theres 3 mystery boxes you gotta choose from. Theres a gold one, a rainbow one and a glowing cardboard box covered in a suspiciously sticky white liquid.

Prince of Morocco: how will i know if i chose the correct one?

Portia: the correct one contains my feet pics.

Prince of Morocco: seems easy enough i guess.

Portia: There are rules though. If you choose the wrong one, you must leave and NEVER EVER come back. Also you may never buy OnlyFans EVER. You have been warned buddy.

*The Prince carefully examines each box*

 

Prince of Morocco: The glowing box with the strange white sticky substance seems bad.

*He reads the text on it*

Whoever chooseth this box shall have endless free vapes

Prince of Morocco: Vaping is bad so i aint gonna choose this.

 

*He reads the rainbow box*

Gayfurrysexballs. choose this box if you want what you deserve.

 

Prince of Morocco: Not good enough.

Prince of Morocco: ion care what the gold one says tbh. I love gold sm. It sparkles bright, just like you, Portia. I shall choose gold because it is as beautiful as you, shawty! Hand me the key!

 

Portia: ok sure. *gives him the key*

 

*The Prince unlocks the gold box*

Prince of Morocco: WHAT? WHERES THE FEET PICS. WHYS THERE A DEAD COCKROACH AND A LETTER?! THIS SUCKS.

Prince of Morocco: I'll read the letter

Haha loser imagine picking the wrong box.

Prince of Morocco: damn

*Portia gives him the L*

Portia: Now go away bitch

Chapter 5

Chapter Text

[A few days later, Bassanio comes to rizz up Portia]

Bassanio: Hey babygirl *bites lip*

*Bassanio inhales his vape*

Portia: Hi Bassanio! theres 3 mystery boxes you gotta choose from. Theres a gold one, a rainbow one and a glowing cardboard box covered in a suspiciously sticky white liquid. Pls choose the right one.

Bassanio: hmmmm

*Bassanio walks toward the glowing cardboard box covered in a suspiciously sticky white liquid*

Bassanio: i shall read what it says

Whoever chooseth this box shall have endless free vapes

Bassanio: Free vapes?!? Endless?? I dont even need to look at the other boxes. This is the one.

Bassanio: Hand me the key!

Portia: oki uwu

*Portia gives him the key*

*Bassanio unlocks the box*

Bassanio: Omg !! Your..FEET PICS!! I chose the correct one!!

*He happily inhales his vape*

Portia: yay lets get married

Bassanio: yay!! I will have 69 billion gazillion ducats!!!

*Portia and Bassanio kiss*

Chapter 6: Meow

Summary:

Sugar daddy Shylock gives Antonio ducats

Chapter Text

[In Venice]

Shylock: Who's a good boy?

Antonio: Its me, daddy Shylock, I'm a good boy!

Shylock: meow for me

Antonio: meow meow

Shylock: You can have 100 ducats for that

*Shylock gives Antonio the ducats*

Antonio: uwu thx sugardaddy Shylock :3

Shylock: anything for you, Antonio

Chapter 7: Shylock looses his Ducats

Chapter Text

[Later with Shylock and Jessica]

 

Jessica: Why do you love ducats and your stupid discord kitten more than me, your flesh and blood! Thou art a terrible father.

Shylock: fuck off, you ungrateful bitch

Jessica: i will run away

Shylock: good! Just dont take my ducats.

 

[It is 3am, Shylock is asleep]

 

Jessica: ugh that ugly bitch, i will take his ducats and ring and go run off with Lorenzo.

*Jessica packs 600,000 ducats and Shylocks ring*

Jessica: hmm i can sell this ring for a monkey..

*She climbs out the window*

Chapter 8: Shylock loses his kitten

Chapter Text

[morning at Shylock's house]

 

Shylock: ugh where is that ungrateful hoe

*Shylock takes a look at his ducat stash*

Shylock: WHY AM I MISSING SO MANY DUCATS?! I lost my daughter and my ducats!!
My ducats!!! Anything but my ducats!!!!

Shylock: I hope my little discord kitten Antonio doesn't leave me...i am no longer rich..

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[Shylock meets up with Antonio]

Antonio: Hey daddy Shylock c-can I have uh 5000 ducats? :3

Shylock: Antonio, my kitten.. I can't..

Antonio: What? Why? Do you not love me?..

Shylock: i do.. but my ungrateful daughter ran away with my ducats! I am.. bankrupt!

Antonio: Broke? So you can no longer buy me things? If you dont have ducats then bye. I only liked you for your money anyway.

Shylock: b-but....

Antonio: bye bitch, i will find someone hotter, you have a flat ass anyway!

*Antonio leaves*

Chapter 9: He's angy

Chapter Text

[In Shylock's house]

 

Shylock: O my discord kitten! My ducats! My daughter! MY DUCATS!!! my jewels and my ducats!!! Why dost life have to be so cruel on me!!! My ducats!!!!! I have nothing now..

 

Shylock: MY DUCATSSSSSSSS

*Shylock sobs*

Shylock: i.... i will take a pound of Antonio's juicy delectable ass as revenge since he never repaid the 3000 Ducats!