Work Text:
It was like any day, Niki had just clocked out and drove back to his Rinne kun, who was eagerly waiting for him at their shared apartment. It was a stressful day in particular for the chef, the chatty customers, clanking of dishes, and silverware overstimulated Niki to the max. On top of that, he had been running late and barely got a bite to eat this morning. He survived off a granola bar and a few snacks here and there. All he wanted to do was get home, take a shower, eat something, and crash in bed. Upon struggling to unlock and open the door, Niki was greeted with an overjoyed Rinne who missed him so dearly.
“Niki kyun~~! You’re back!”
The redhead chimed, clinging onto the overworked chef. Niki couldn’t help but overexasperate a sigh, leaning against his boyfriend.
“.. Rinne kun..”
He muttered, burying his face into his neck. Rinne immediately caught on, leaning his head in the opposite direction to gently tilt Niki’s chin up.
“Hey, honeybee, what’s wrong? Tough day at work?”
Niki could only nod, tired eyes speaking in a language only Amagi Rinne could understand. Rinne hummed in acknowledgement, tenderly caressing the mans cheek.
“Kay~ I know what my Niki needs on a tough day. Hop in the shower and I’ll make ya some food, how’s that?”
This earned a smile from the stressed chef, nodding once more at Rinne’s proposal. Rinne turned his back towards Niki, making his way into their kitchen before disappearing behind the corner. Niki trudged through the hall, entering the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror, rubbing at the dark circles that formed under his eyes just recently. He really needed to get some sleep.
Niki ran a hand through his ponytail, untangling the band that held it together. Thick, gray strands fell over his shoulders. Now it was time for his shirt, the part he hated most. Gripping the hem of his shirt, the chef stared at himself in the mirror. Both Rinne and Niki had been working hard to earn the cost of Niki’s surgery. Niki had been working late shifts and Rinne even got a job of his own to pitch in. Though, the price was way out of their salary and could take up to years to save up for. Rinne stopped spending nights at the casino to help save money for Niki, and Niki recognized that. Despite his persisting and telling the redhead it was fine to go off and spend his own money, Rinne wouldn’t have it. He wanted Niki to be happy; Niki’s happiness was his happiness. Niki truly couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend.
‘Like a bandaid.’ The chef thought, biting his lip. He lifted the shirt over his head, throwing it off onto the ground. Niki tried his best to not look in the mirror— he really did— but he couldn’t help the glance of himself that he saw out of the corner of his eye, he couldn’t help the icky, gross feeling he felt under his skin seeing the binder on his chest. He couldn’t help hugging himself as he fell to his knees with loud sobs. His body didn’t feel like his— he wanted to rip off his limbs and tear away at his skin. Niki’s head filled with fuzzy thoughts, he couldn’t even think straight. His vision blurred, a burning sensation coming from his arm after he started to scratch and tear at the skin.
Before he knew it, Rinne was kneeling in front of him, holding his hand oh so very gently to stop himself from scratching anymore. Rinne was telling him something but he couldn’t make sense of it— he was too focused on how bad it hurt from the lack of oxygen from hyperventilating. Niki stared at Rinne through tears, nuzzling into the hand that crept up to wipe at his tears.
“Niki, baby, calm down.. Shh, shh. Look at me, look at me. You’re alright.”
Rinne shushed, tucking locks behind Niki’s ear as he tried his best to regain his composure. Once Rinne began taking deep breaths to guide him, Niki followed along.
“That’s it, that’s it.. attaboy~” He praised, petting the hair behind his ear. “That’s my Niki. What’s the matter?” Rinne asked, though he had a feeling what the problem was.
“R-Rinne kun—“ Niki gasped out, whimpering. “I’m ugly, I’m hideous— I-I can’t even look in the mirror—! I hate myself, I hate my— my body! I just want to feel comfortable,, I-I—“ He squealed, being interrupted by tears and hics as Rinne held him close to his chest. The redhead rubbed circles into his back, allowing Niki to sob on his shoulder.
“.. Niki,” He whispered softly, as if he were speaking to a frightened animal. “Look at me.” Niki obeyed, slowly lifting his head to lock eye contact. Rinne immediately cupped his face, not daring to look away. His thumb brushed over his cheek to flick away any remaining tears.
“Y’know what I think?” Rinne started, holding Niki so very close. “I think my Nikikyun is the most prettiest, hardworking boy in the world. And nothin’ about how you think your body looks is gonna change that.”
Niki sniffled, clutching Rinne tightly. He stared at him, eyes glistening with tears. The chef let out a tiny whimper, burying his face into his boyfriends neck.
Rinne rubbed at his back, watching as his fingertips brushed over the fabric that held Niki’s chest. He wished he could take his pain away, he wanted his Niki to feel happy and comfortable in his own body. It wasn’t fair.
“.. Let me shower with you, I’ll help wash you.”
Niki blinked, leaning away from Rinne. His eyes widened for a moment, shaking his head frantically.
“N-No—! It’s fine, I’m fine. I can shower by myself—“
“Niki.”
That’s all Rinne had to say for Niki to understand he wasn’t budging. Despite being together for so long, neither of them has seen the other naked. They’ve come so close many times but it’s never actually happened. Niki was scared. This may have been Rinne kun, but what would he think of him? Of his body?
The redhead noticed this hesitation and gently pulled the chef closer. “If ya don’t wanna, I won’t make ya. But I ain’t gonna judge ya. Promise.”
Niki sniffled, shaking his head. “N-No,, please.”
Rinne smiled so softly and genuinely, rubbing the chef’s arm soothingly. Niki clung onto him like a koala hugging a tree, dreading what was to come next.
“.. Could you.. help me.. ?”
Rinne understood immediately, nodding. “Whenever you’re ready.”
Niki hugged himself close, gripping his arms until his knuckles went white. It’s just as Rinne said.. Rinne would never judge him. Rinne’s known he’s been transgender for so long, why would he judge him now? Especially after giving him such affirming words?
“.. Kay..”
Niki lifted his arms so Rinne could take the binder off of him. Once it was off, Niki sighed out. He wore his binder all day, it felt good to have it off. He stared at Rinne with anticipation, fear he’ll be disgusted and leave him.
But there was nothing like that in his eyes. It was the exact opposite. Rinne could only stare and their silence spoke volumes. The look Rinne gave him— Niki hasn’t ever seen it before. Not even upon seeing Hiiro. No, this one was full of much more than love.. Rinne stared at Niki like he was the most beautifulest thing he’s ever seen. Nobody could compare to Niki. He was beautiful like the ocean shore.
As for Niki, Niki couldn’t have ever felt anymore loved than he did at that moment. He could feel tears welling in the corners of his eyes again, but he held them back. He hugged himself around his waist, blushing sheepishly as Rinne just couldn’t take his eyes off him. Rinne could stare at him for hours, days, weeks, months, even years if time would let him. He’d never grow tired of the sight in front of him.
Niki began to take off his pants, and that seemed to snap Rinne out of his trance. He leaned over the tub to start the shower as Niki removed all layers of his clothing. He patiently waited for Rinne, watching him remove his shirt next. Niki couldn’t take his eyes off the redheads tattoos, especially the cherry blossom tree near his shoulder. Wasn’t that the place they’d always visit when Niki was in middle school?
After Rinne finished stripping, he stood up, offering Niki his hand. Niki took it, pulling himself up. Rinne’s thumb brushed over his knuckles, leaning in to gently kiss his cheek before helping Niki into the tub.