Chapter Text
Loud music isn’t really your thing, you conclude. Between the thumping beat and the ambient conversations around you, you couldn’t even hear your own thoughts. Any time you spoke to someone, you had to scream. They did too, they usually didn’t care.
How is it that in a room full of people, you managed to feel so alone? Where was Shoko when you needed her? What about Suguru?
A quick search around the room reveals nothing. Just a bunch of other college students you didn’t know getting incredibly drunk.
You’ve had enough of this for now. You grab your red plastic cup, (a staple in American movies) refill it, and head outside. You have to push through the crowd just to reach the back door.
Nobody seems to notice that you left. Or maybe they did, and they’re just too drunk to care. Why should it bother you either way? It’s not like any of them are your friends.
Still though. Where were your friends?
Now that you’re outside, you remembered just how cold it is. The air nips at your exposed skin, scattering goosebumps all over you. You shiver and begin walking.
You pass the couple making out on the patio, you pass the group shotgunning white claws on the grass— you’re like 90% sure one of them is Megumi— and finally, you reach a somewhat secluded area. The pool house.
You make a mental note that if this degree doesn’t work out, try and marry Satoru. He’s stupid rich.
Once inside, the pool house muffled the sounds of the raging party outside. Turning back to look at the house, you could see people on every floor. In fact, some people were even drunkenly hanging out of them.
One guy on the third floor was trying to pour beer into some guys mouth on the grass. There’s a pretty big crowd watching them. You're tempted to watch, too.
A sigh escapes your lips before you take a swig of whatever was in your cup. Your expression immediately sours as the beer hits your tongue. It tastes awful, but maybe you’ll forget about this night if you’re lucky.
You seemed to be alone in the pool house. Good. That’s what you wanted. You didn’t expect people to be swimming in the middle of winter, anyway.
It’s dark in here, but not too dark. The moon is shining enough light to cast the entire room in a blue light.
You take a moment to think. Why are you even at this party, anyway? Your friends were nowhere to be found, you hated the music choice, and you practically knew nobody else.
You’re not like Satoru. You can’t just talk to anyone and everyone.
The sound of your phone going off startles you. You didn’t even know when you took it out of your pocket. It sat on the pool table — funny, considering it’s in the pool house — buzzing away.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear. It's Satoru. You decide to let it ring.
You take another swig. How many drinks have you had tonight? Six? Seven? You lost count. All those shots you took probably weren’t a good idea, either.
“Why does he care, anyway.” You say, almost bitterly. You realize you’re talking to yourself.
You stumble further into the pool house, heading for the bathroom. You might throw up. You don't want to. The saliva building up in your mouth suggested that you might not have a choice.
You’re mumbling to yourself when you hear it: someone else is in here with you.
An uncanny feeling of dread fills your body. You stop in your tracks and try to separate the noises you’re hearing right now.
The party outside, the humming of the pool pump, and… moaning?
You cover your mouth as your face begins to burn. Who is in there right now? You’re not sure you really want to find out.
Any nausea you were feeling was temporarily put on pause. You had more important things to do, like getting out of here.
You make another mental note to remind Satoru to lock these doors more often.
The couple in the bathroom show no sign of stopping soon. You sigh. You’ll just use the other bathroom back in the house.
The stars are aligning in all the wrong ways. Clouds begin to clot around the moon, as if purposefully blocking it. In your drunken stupor, you don’t think to wait for light.
Instead, you walk right into the metal trash can and send it tumbling to the floor. The moaning inside the bathroom stops, just like your heartbeat. Funny.
You stare at the door, hunched over. You can hear them talking, but you have no idea what they’re saying.
That dreadful feeling fills you up again. Something tells you that you don’t want to be caught here.
This is the quickest decision you’ve made all night: You dive underneath the pool table, praying that it’s dark enough to not notice you.
You hid just in time it seems. The light from the bathroom fills the room for a few moments before it’s blocked by silhouettes.
“Is someone else in here??”
That voice sounds familiar, but you can’t place her. You’re tempted to take a peek.
“Could’ve been a ghost.”
Thwack
“Shut up.” The mystery girl says. “I’m serious. Someone else is in here.”
The light provided by the bathroom dissipates as they close the door.
“I don’t think so,” The man says. He sounds familiar too. “whoever it was, they’re probably gone by now.”
Are some of your friends hooking up or something?
You continue to eavesdrop on their conversation. It’s boring. To you, at least. The girl flirts with him a little more, telling him how 'good he was tonight' and how she 'hopes to see him again'.
The guy is a little less flirty, but he seems interested in sleeping with her at least.
The girl leaves, and you lament that you didn’t risk taking a peek. They probably wouldn’t have even noticed you.
You’re about to crawl out of your hiding spot, but you notice that the guy is still here. Well, you see his boots at least.
Are those Doc Martens? Do you know anyone who wears Docs??
Your phone begins to buzz away on the pool table again. You grimace.
His boots turn towards your hiding spot. You might just piss yourself, actually.
“What’s this?” He says to nobody in particular.
You can tell when he picks it up, because the table stops vibrating.
“Hello?”
Silence. You don’t know who he’s talking to. It irks you a bit that he answered your phone. Who does that?
“No, I don’t know where she is. I found her phone in the pool house though …. What? Don’t worry about that. It’s not important.”
You inch closer to the edge of the table, daring to try and take a peek. You wanted to at least look at whoever had the audacity to pick up your phone.
“Yuuji, I just said I don’t know.”
Yuuji? Is he at this party, too? You would’ve sought him out had you known.
Suddenly, the shoes make sense. Him picking up your phone made sense. You did know this guy. You just didn’t know he knew you.
You take a stealthy glance at the man and your stomach churns. He’s already looking down at you.
“Actually, I just found her.”
Itadori Sukuna. Yuuji’s attractive older brother. He awkwardly kneels down and hands you your phone.
“It’s for you.” He says with a knowing smirk.
You take your phone and swallow the saliva that has been building up in your mouth. You press your phone to your ear, not breaking eye contact with Sukuna.
“F/n? Are you okay? Suguru said he tried to call you like three times, and nobody can find you.”
Yuuji’s concern was evident. You feel bad for scaring him, but you didn’t even know he was here.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t feeling good, so I went to the pool house.”
Sukuna’s face twists into confusion.
“So you hid under a table?”
You ignore Sukuna and begin shimmying out of your hiding spot.
“Oh, okay. Do you want me to come get you?”
“No, that’s okay."
You're finally on your feet when Yuuji hangs up suddenly. You frown, loneliness creeping up on you again. This time it was short lived.
“HEYYYY!” Came Yuuji’s voice from outside. You turn towards the main glass door to see the aforementioned boy sprinting towards it. He flings the door open and continues beelining for you.
“Wait, wait!” You already know what’s about to happen. Yuuji greets you like this every time.
Either he didn’t hear you, or he didn’t care. Yuuji picks you up and hoists you into a hug, spinning around.
Yuuji sets you down, keeping both hands on your shoulders to keep you steady for a moment.
“We were so worried! Shoko thought that you took a walk and got lost or something?? And Suguru thought—“
“I don’t think she’s listening, man.”
Sukuna is right. You weren’t listening. You’re hunched over, sweating, and breathing heavy. Yuuji did not help you in your quest to not throw up.
“Are you alright?” Yuuji places a hand on your forehead.
“She’s super drunk, can’t you tell?”
With that, someone gently grabs your arm and leads you towards the leather couch.
“Just lay down.” Sukuna says, with a hint of irritation.
You feel awful at the moment, so you don’t have the energy to argue. You give in to Sukuna’s demands and crawl on to the couch. At first you lay on your back, but Sukuna chastises you and forces you to lay on your side.
“Are you trying to die? Lay on your side, idiot.”
For the reputation he carries, he’s being uncharacteristically nice to you.
The brothers begin talking amongst themselves; Yuuji asking what you guys are doing here, and Sukuna explaining that he found you hiding.
“She was hiding?” Yuuji echoes.
Sukuna doesn’t have a chance to reply, because your phone is ringing again. You groggily reach out and make a grabby hand.
One of them hands you your phone. You answer it without checking who it is.
“F/n?? Where are you???”
Satoru. You frown. He was the one who ditched you earlier, now he’s pretending to care? Where was that energy about four hours ago?
“Pool house.”
That’s all you give him before hanging up on him.
The two brothers are staring at you now. It’s awkward for a beat until Yuuji breaks the silence.
“Did you want some water?”
Water sounded heavenly.
“Yes please.”
Yuuji checks the mini fridge first, but it doesn’t have any water bottles. He asks his older brother to keep an eye on you, to which he begrudgingly accepts.
Sukuna lifts your legs, sits on the couch with you, and then places your legs in his lap. Did he care for your personal space at all?
You pull your legs closer to yourself.
Sukuna doesn’t give a shit whether or not you keep them there. He’s already on his phone, typing away.
Both of you are quiet, listening to the sounds of the bustling party outside.
“F/n, right?” Sukuna says. He doesn’t look away from his phone.
“Mhm.” You don’t want to open your mouth. You’re just scared you’ll throw up.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be enjoying the party with your little boyfriend?”
“Don’t have one.” You say, nuzzling into the pillow.
Both of you are quiet again. For some reason, you don’t question him asking about an imaginary relationship. You’re too busy wallowing. Maybe you should stop drinking, you never have any fun.
“Why are you here?” You probe.
“Was it not obvious?”
Right. That girl from earlier.
“…Who was that, anyway?”
“A friend.”
“I’d hope so.”
Sukuna chuckles at your comeback. It caught him a bit off guard.
Your phone rings again. Of course, it’s Satoru. You sigh and place your phone face down on the floor.
“What? Having a lover’s quarrel?”
You roll your eyes.
"Not my boyfriend."
It's quiet again. The occasional video plays from Sukuna's phone, but even that is low. You wonder why he's still in here, sitting with you. It's not like you guys know each other that well. You've always just regarded him as Yuuji's big brother. And maybe you thought he was sort of hot. Sort of.
Why should you care about him anyway? His reputation doesn't do him any favors. You hear horror stories from girls on campus; It's always a girl who thinks she can change him, maybe tie him down, and then they get disappointed.
For all intents and purposes, this guy was an asshole. The one girlfriend you do remember him having didn't last for very long. He was cheating on her or something, you can't remember.
You wrap your arms around your stomach, feeling the nausea begin to build up again. It hits you in waves every couple of minutes, increasing in intensity each time. You're worried that soon one of those waves will be strong enough to knock you over. You'd have to give in and just throw up right here, on the Gojo family's expensive floor.
They wouldn't care. It's you. They love you. Actually, they might be on your side if you're ever poor enough to consider dating Satoru. You file that information away in the 'just in case' folder.
Your phone rings again. Shoko. That's fine with you.
"F/n!!!! You're avoiding my calls!!!"
You gasp. Betrayal. Shoko gave Satoru her phone.
"...No, 'm not .. avoidin' you." You struggle to get the words out.
Satoru is yelling at some people in the house. You're barely making out the argument when Sukuna takes your phone.
"Hey!" You jolt up and immediately regret it. You slap a hand over your lips and will yourself to stay strong. You are gods strongest soldier and he's giving you the hardest battles (drank too much).
Sukuna doesn't even regard you as he hangs up the call for you. He tosses it back to you without a care in the world. You narrow your eyes at him.
"Why did you do that?"
"You clearly are avoiding his calls."
"Yeah, but why--" You gag suddenly. You're thankful Sukuna isn't looking at you, because that was a really ugly face you just made.
"Ugh. Why did you take my phone and hang it up? How did you even know? What if it really was Shoko?"
"I'm sitting right next to you? I can hear him."
Well, he's got you there. You don't have a good enough comeback, so you let the conversation die. You curl up again, ensuring that you do not lay your legs on top of this man. What if he gets the wrong idea and tries to sleep with you? Would he do that?
Probably not. You don't seem like his type. Most girls you saw him with seemed to be the opposite of you. Drop dead gorgeous, popular, rich, just to name a few things.
Where the hell is Yuuji with that water?
"Your phone case is stupid, by the way."
Wow. Okay.
"Who says that???"
"Me."
God, you could punch him right in his stupid fucking face. You inspect your phone case. What's so stupid about it? Maybe it's the bunny ears? You absentmindedly run your thumb over the back of your case, feeling all the grooves and scratches from the times you've dropped it.
Your legs are starting to get uncomfortable, being curled up like this. You sigh and give in to temptation. You stretch your legs out across Sukuna's lap. His eyes flicker towards you, then your legs. He smirks and returns to his phone.
"Your case is stupid." You say suddenly.
"It's clear."
"Yeah. Clear and stupid."
He chuckles and quietly repeats your words under his breath, examining his own phone case. You wish you could just read his mind and answer your own questions. You're still wondering why he's sitting with you. He could've left a long time ago, he could've left when that girl left.
He didn't even know you were in here to begin with, so why did he stay when she left? You're hypothesizing now, trying to explain the behavior of a man you don't quite know.
Well, what do you know about him? You know that he's the firstborn child in his family, he looks after Yuuji a lot, he plays guitar you think? He graduated high school two years before you did, but you're all somehow stuck at this shitty university together.
You realize that that's all you know. Everything else you heard has just been rumors floating around campus, and things you hear secondhand from Yuuji. You find yourself staring up at the ceiling.
A sigh escapes your lips as you're filled with that horrible melancholic feeling. This always happened at parties. You just couldn't shake that immense loneliness no matter how hard you tried. Maybe it was a side effect of all the people you don't know being friendly to you. Drunk girls waiting in line for the bathroom slinging their arm around you, declaring you their best friend for the night.
It's not like you hated them. You just wished you could be like them in a weird roundabout way. You wished your biggest problem was what pack of alcohol to get tonight.
The feelings you're grappling with are starting to weigh you down. You want to talk about something. Or maybe get out of this stupid building. Either one works.
"Why are you still here?" You blurt out. It seems your subconscious chose for you.
"Huh??"
"I'm just - you could've left, you know. When Yuuji did. You could have said no."
Sukuna considers you for a moment. His expression is unreadable, you can't tell if he's amused or annoyed. Was that a stupid question to ask? Probably.
The silence is getting to you. You almost squirm under Sukuna's intense gaze. Was he doing this on purpose?
The door swings open. Yuuji is holding up two water bottles confidently, and it looks like he brought a couple people along with him. That's fine, you suppose.
"I got water!"
"What took so long?" Sukuna's velvety voice finally reached your ears. Why didn't he answer you?? Whatever that moment was, it's dead and buried for now. Maybe you'd dig it up later, if you got the chance.
"Oh. Uh. I got asked to go shotgun something and--"
"Whatever. Give me one of those."
Yuuji hands the both of you some water bottles. You look at the water like its gods personal blessing to you and take a swig. Yeah, that made you feel a little bit better.
"Yo."
At first, you're staring at a pair of legs. Then Suguru kneels down and he's face to face with you. He smiles softly and pats your head.
"You doing okay?"
"Not really." You glance over at Sukuna. Your legs are still on his lap.
Suguru gives you a look. You pull yourself away from Sukuna and sit up. You press the cold bottle against your forehead to ease your nerves.
"You wanna go get some fresh air?" Suguru offers you a hand.
You nod, taking his hand gratefully. You finally realize who else Yuuji brought in here-- most of them are your friends: Maki, her sister (who looks less than happy), Shoko, Satoru, and the rest you don't know.
Shoko stops you and Suguru on your way out.
"Hey, you okay? You look awful."
"Yeah. I just need some fresh air. And to get away from him." You tilt your head in Sukuna's direction. He's standing now, conversing with Yuuji. Mai is trying to butt into the conversation, which Yuuji is nice enough to include her.
Shoko gives you a knowing smile and links arms with you. To top off the pyramid of friends, Satoru ends up pushing you three through the door.
"Come on, lets get out of here already."
The four of you head towards the pool. It's heated, but nobody wanted to get in it. But when Shoko puts her feet in the water, you follow suit. It's nice and warm, and you're glad you copied her. You rest your head on Shoko's shoulder and let out a long sigh.
The other two take seats behind you. They're talking amongst themselves, showing each other memes probably. Or going through someones instagram. Maybe both.
"So, what were you doing with him?" Shoko says quietly, making gentle ripples in the water. She rests her head atop yours.
"I wasn't with him." You correct. "He was with me."
"Explain?"
You take a quick glance at the boys behind you. They still seem preoccupied within themselves, so you decide to open up. You give Shoko the play by play of your night. Hating the party, leaving, hearing Sukuna and someone in the bathroom together. Then, you told her about how you hid, and how he inadvertently found you.
"That's when Yuuji came. We talked for a little bit and then he left to get me some water? And then... it was just me and Sukuna. I mean, Yuuji did ask him to stay behind with me but-"
You stop mid sentence. The nausea was building up again. God, can you catch a break? You close your eyes and endlessly swallow the saliva collecting in your mouth.
You will not throw up in the pool. You'll do it like a civilized party goer: In the bushes.
"But?" Shoko gently rubs your back, patiently waiting for you to continue.
"It's not like he had to, y'know? I'm just.. confused I guess? And he was kind of just an asshole the whole time. He said my phone case was stupid, hung up on Satoru, and he answered my phone when I was hiding. I mean, who answers a random phone they find lying around?"
Shoko laughs at your complaint, but you know she's taking you seriously.
"Hm, yeah. That's a little weird, I think. You guys don't really know each other, right?"
You shake your head. You're definitely more Yuuji's friend than Sukuna's. In fact, the only reason you even know they're related is because they're dead ringers for each other. There's no way they're not related.
"No. The most I've talked to this guy is literally tonight. Other than that, I don't think we share any classes together. I pass him every now and then on campus, but he's usually preoccupied."
Before Shoko can get a word out, Satoru puts his hands on both of you.
"You guys wanna go take some shots?"
"Not rea-"
"Hey! Kento, over here!" Satoru ignores you yet again. He's waving over the other campus hottie. Kento is carrying a bottle of vodka in his hands with a sleeve of red plastic cups. You groan. Not those fucking things, please.
In seconds, Satoru and Kento are handing everyone cups. Satoru swears it's enough for one shot, but you know it's an ungodly amount of vodka.
Suguru is kind to you, you realize, because he's taking your cup from you and pouring it into his own. When he hands you your empty cup, he grins at you.
"Cheers!" Satoru calls out. He didn't seem to notice the absence of alcohol in your cup.
"Cheers." You lazily call out, clinking your cup with everyone else.
As the group is shaking off the alcohol in their system, you try to make a stealthy escape again. You pull your legs out of the water and mumble something about getting towels to Shoko. She grabs your hand to stop you, but you pull away.
As she gets up to follow, Satoru begins filling her cup again.
"She'll be back!" He says.
Will you? You're not sure. Neither is Shoko.
Suguru tails you back to the pool house. The Itadori brothers seem to have migrated somewhere else for the time being.
"Hey, you feeling okay?"
He hands you your shoes, with your kitten patterned socks stuffed inside of them.
"Yeah." You sigh for the thousandth time tonight. "I just don't think parties are my thing. Well, maybe not parties this big."
"Too many people?"
"Something like that."
You dry your feet off and begin the fight to get your shoes back on. You're stuck replaying the events of tonight, and you're not even sure you'll remember them all the next morning.
"I know what you mean."
You sigh and plop on the couch. It's weird to think that just a little bit ago, you were in here alone with Sukuna. Would you ever be alone with him again? Did you even want to be alone with him? Maybe that's a question better left unanswered. You're not sure you want to pick that apart right now.
"You wanna go back outside? I need fresh air again. It smells like sex in here."
Suguru gives you a hearty laugh, offering you his hand again. He hoists you to your feet and steadies you.
"Yeah. Come on." He says with a grin.
The brisk winter air hits your face again and you smile. Suguru could read you like a fucking book, man. You pull your sleeves to cover your hands, the cold creeping up on your fingers first.
"Please tell me it didn't smell like sex in there because of-"
"No! No. Absolutely not."
You didn't even want him to finish that sentence. You imagined it for a fleeting second: Sukuna panting hard while he looms over you, fingernails digging into his back, both of you red in the face and uncomfortably sweaty.
You can feel the blush creeping up on your face. You shake your head as if that would erase the mental picture in your mind. Of course it doesn't. You're gonna be stuck with that image for a while.
"Oh, speak of the devil." Suguru says. He raises a hand in greeting.
You follow his gaze and visibly scowl.
"Yo!" Yuuji and his brother are headed towards you two.
You move to leave, but Suguru grabs your arm. He wasn't always nice to you, it would seem.
"F/n, we were looking for you." The younger brother smiles.
Wordlessly, Sukuna hands you your phone. Your fingers brush up against his as you take it.
"Oh. Thanks."
There's something bulging in your phone case. You don't care enough to investigate right now because your forehead is starting to break out in a sweat and the nausea is building up in your stomach once more.
The strategy of swallowing your saliva isn't working out for you anymore. The other three don't seem to notice. They're talking about something coming up. A basketball game? No, maybe it was baseball?
"You guys going to the game next week?" Yuuji asks. "I'll be there." He grins and nudges Sukuna.
Oh, that's right. Doesn't he play something?
You wipe away your sweat and swallow, hard. Your body doesn't give a shit. Looking back on it, you think swallowing like that was your demise.
You hunch over and throw up right on Sukuna's boots.
Oh. Cool.