Work Text:
T he first thing I remember was sitting.
I was sitting somewhere.
A bench, maybe?
“Hello.”, a deep, soothing, male voice spoke next to me. I turned and looked into a face full of calmness and kindness. The man next to me was maybe in his thirties, he had short brown hair and a relaxed facial expression.
“Who are you?”, I asked.
He smiled gently. “My name is Castiel. I’m an angel of the lord.”
Even though it sounded crazy, I just knew that he was telling the truth.
That explains this weird place, I thought.
Then I asked: “Am I dead?”
Now his face grew serious. “No. But you’re close.” He made a waving gesture with his hand and suddenly we were standing on the side of the road. Infront of us was a car. My car.
It was upside down and I was lifelessly hanging in the driver’s seat – held there by my seatbelt. Little drops of blood were dripping from my face.
“Oh.”, I said. Somehow, I didn’t know what to say.
“I’m sorry.”, Castiel the angel said, and he sounded so sincere, I almost started crying.
I tore my gaze from my lifeless body and turned to Castiel.
“So, what now? I’ll die and you’ll take me to the next place?”
He hesitated a moment before he answered.
"Actually, that’s not why I’m here. I, uh, I… need your help.” I pulled up an eyebrow and stared at the angel."
“What?”
“It’s a long story, but I was hit by a powerful curse and got ejected from my current vessel. My friends really need my help, but I need a body to help them. And then I… sort of stumbled over you.”
I had absolutely no clue what to answer, so I went with a stupid question.
“So… I’m not dead?”
He shook his head. “But you will be soon. I can already feel a reaper on its’ way. But if you’re willing… I might be able to save you.”
“By taking over my body?”, I guessed.
“Well, sort of. I wouldn’t be taking it over. I would be a passenger. You would still be in control. I could help my friends and heal your body over time. And once my friends find a way to break the curse, I will leave your body and you can go back to your life.”
Just as I did before, I knew that he was being honest with me. And I also felt my time running out. The life draining out of me.
“Okay.”, I said, “I don’t want to die.”
My eyes turned to my bloody face in the car again. Then I turned to Castiel. “And I want to help you. I mean, when will I ever the chance to help out an angel again?”
He smiled and a glowing light blinded me, so I closed my eyes.
And then I felt pain. Everywhere.
So much, that when I opened my eyes and saw my world upside down, I almost fainted right again.
Castiel’s voice filled my head with hope.
“Here, let me.”
It was strange – feeling him take over. Seeing my own hand moving without commanding it to. He touched my forehead with it and all of a sudden, all the pain was gone.
I felt good. Healed.
“Thank you.”, I said out loud, even though I figured that he could probably hear my thoughts as well.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
“And you’re really sure we had to leave my car behind?”, I asked a little sad.
“I’m sorry.”, Cas answered in my head, “But how would you have explained sitting completely unharmed in a completely wrecked car?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I know you’re right.”
We’d been walking on the side of the road for a few miles now. Well… I was walking. Castiel was more like a burning light in the back of my head.
Suddenly a car approached, slowed down and came to a halt. A man opened the window and asked: “Hey, are you ok? Do you need a ride?”
He was about thirty and looked very friendly, but my very first instinct was to say: “No, thank you.” How often had my mother told me not to get into a stranger’s car?
But Cas must’ve read my thoughts.
“It’s okay, y/n. You can say yes. I will protect you if your fears come true.”
I still hesitated for a second, but then I answered: “Yes, that would be very nice. Thank you.”
The man nodded and unlocked the car. I got in and fastened the seatbelt. We drove for a while and had a little small talk. He was very friendly. Of course, he didn’t really buy my story about a costume party when he asked about all that blood on my clothes. But he didn’t address it any further.
After a while, we came to a town, and he dropped me off at a motel. I had only taken my wallet from my car. Everything else – including my phone – was busted in the crash. Lucky for us, I still had a lot of change in my wallet, so I headed for the payphone.
“Do you know the number, Cas?”, I asked aloud, because it felt strange to speak in my head.
“Yes, may I?”, he asked.
“Sure.”, I said and suddenly my fingers were pressing the buttons.
The phone was answered with a short “Hello?”, and I realised that I was in control.
“Uh, hello. You don’t know me, my name is y/n. Please don’t hang up. I, uh… well… I kind of…”
“Look- “, he interrupted a little impatiently, “-I don’t know how you got this number, but if you need our help, just tell us what’s going on and we’ll see what we can do, okay?”
“No, the thing is, that I don’t actually need your help. I’m supposed to help you. Ugh, screw this. Can you just take over?”, I sighed, and the last part was meant for Cas.
Ever so polite, he answered: “Of course.”, in my head before he took control.
“Dean, it’s me, Cas.”
“What the-?”, Dean replied, clearly not sure what to think of this sudden turn of events.
“The curse that hit me-”, Cas explained, “-ejected me from my vessel and keeps me from re-entering. I’ve temporarily taken y/n as my vessel while I heal her body from a car crash.”
Dean didn’t answer for a while.
“Bloody hell, Cas.”, he then commented, but there was still a little doubt in his voice.
Apparently, he spoke to someone else for a second because he murmured: “Yes, I will.”, before he spoke to Cas again.
“Just… Before Sam and I storm into a demon-trap… can you tell me something only you would know?”
“Of course. I understand your concerns. The first time we met, I told you that I was the one who raised you from hell.”
“Well, that’s too obvious.”, Dean said.
Cas continued. “I told you that your problem was your lack of faith. And I felt sorry for you because you didn’t think you deserved to be saved.”
“Alright, that’s enough. Were can we pick you up?”
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Dean had told us, that they were quite a distance away and wouldn’t arrive until the next morning, so I walked us into the motel and paid for the night.
Even though an angel healed all my wounds, I felt really exhausted. Sadly, I hadn’t had any spare clothes in my car, so decided to walk over to the souvenir shop down the road. These bloody clothes were drawing quite the attention.
The cashier didn’t say anything, though he gave me a strange look. I took the change he gave me and turned around pretty fast.
Behind me, there was a man I nearly ran into. But when I looked at him and mumbled “Sorry”, my body froze.
His face was not that of a human.
The skin was burned and scarred, there were cuts all over it and black smoke seemed to be coming out of them.
Lost for words, I just stared at him in horror.
“He’s a demon. Try to act normal.”, I heard Castiel’s voice in my head and it pulled me back into reality.
“Sorry.”, I stuttered again and practically ran out of the shop.
“What the hell, Cas? A demon? That’s a thing?!”, I whispered to myself while quickly walking down the alley. I took the small side street because it was a shortcut to the motel, and I wanted to get behind locked doors as fast as possible.
“Unfortunately, yes. My friends and I are currently trying to cast a spell, so they can’t possess humans anymore. That’s why my friends need my help.”, Cas answered.
My mind was still racing around the idea of demons, so I didn’t realize the man in front of me, heading straight towards me. Only when he was a few meters away, I looked up and saw his face.
He was a demon.
I stopped in my tracks and turned around, but three more demons were walking towards me from behind, so I turned back to the first.
“I don’t want any trouble.”, I said, a little more nervous than I intended to.
“Don’t worry.”, the demon croaked, “You’re not in trouble. At least, not if you tell us what we want to know. For example, why you can see our real faces. Or, what that weird glow around you means.”
The three from behind were closing in on me and I thought that this was it.
But then I remembered that I had an angel in the passengers’ seat.
“Cas?”. It was the first time I spoke to him in my mind, “Can you do something?”
“On it.”, he just said, and I felt him taking control.
“None of your business.”, he coldly spat to the demon and placed my hand on his forehead. There was a glowing, bright light and the demon was dead before he hit the ground.
The other three put up a fight, but Cas moved my body fast and precise. He killed them with the same bright light.
Once the last one had fallen to the ground, he gave me back control over my body.
“Thank you. You saved my life, again.”, I said aloud and hurried off towards the motel.
I placed the ugly, green, oversized t-shirt on the cabinet next to the shower. It was the only thing the souvenir shop had had, and my own shirt was soaked in dried blood. At least my jeans were still good. They only had a small speck on the right thigh, but I didn’t care.
My hands reached for the bottom of my bloody shirt to get undressed for the shower, but then I froze.
“Uhm… Cas…”, I embarrassedly asked in my head, “Can you… sort of… look away or something?”
It was stupid since he inhabited this body, he could probably feel everything anyway, but it was still weird. Especially, since he was a man.
But Cas, ever so polite, just answered: “Oh, uh, of course.”
As usual, I didn’t doubt that he was sincere and being honest, but it was still the quickest shower I’d ever had.
Once I was dressed again, I went over to the bed and just fell into it. The sun had gone down and my eyes were growing heavier with every second. For the first time since the accident, my adrenaline-level fell, and I relaxed.
“Alright, now we’re finally gonna get some sleep.”, I mumbled and pulled the sheets over my shoulders.
“Angels don’t sleep.”, Cas just commented.
Now my eyes were open wide again.
“What?! So, you’re just gonna lie there the whole night while I sleep? That’s awfully boring!”
Cas chuckled slightly, then he answered. “No, it’s okay. I will just watch over you tonight. I actually quite enjoy the silence.”
Even though that sounded even more creepy now, I felt that he sincerely meant it. And that felt comforting.
So I shook off any weird thoughts and closed my eyes. And I’d fallen asleep before they were really closed.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
My growling stomach woke me in the morning, and I suddenly remembered that I hadn’t eaten anything since the accident.
“Good morning, y/n.”, Cas greeted me friendly.
“Good morning.”, I replied and got out of bed.
While I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom, Cas suggested: “Sam and Dean will probably be here within the next hour. But it will still be enough time to get something to eat if you want to.”
My stomach just growled again in response and Cas could probably feel it too.
Getting something from the diner a few streets away and coming back to the motel was no trouble. Without the blood, I didn’t get noticed as much and I didn’t run into any demons.
So, about an hour later, I was sitting on the steps in front of the motel, eating the last of my fries.
To any stranger, I mighc've seemed crazy because of my facial expressions and reactions. No one could see that I was having a conversation with an angel in my head.
Cas told me the story of how he’d met the Winchester brothers. At first, I thought he spoke in metaphors, when he told me that he rescued Dean from hell. But I later found out that he was talking about actual hell and Dean had really died and been there.
He didn’t want to tell me why Dean ended up in hell, because that was “not his story to tell”, so I didn’t have that high of an opinion of this “Dean”.
I mean, I was new at this whole angels-demons-heaven-hell-thing, but I figured you’re going to hell for a reason.
Maybe that was why he and his brother were trying to stop all demons? To make up for the things he did wrong before? Maybe he’d changed?
I could only guess about them.
And then Cas told me that a few days ago they found out that the demons have some sort of “instructions” on how to permanently keep them from possessing humans. And that’s what they were after.
But the king of hell (apparently that’s a thing as well) found out and to slow them down, he cursed Cas.
“So… we’re up against the king of hell to find the instructions to send all demons away and lock the door? Just another Tuesday with you, I suppose?”
Cas was laughing and then we saw a ’67 Impala pull into the parking lot.
“That’s them!”, Cas happily said, and I got up.
The two brothers got out of the car and since I was walking right towards them, they noticed me right away.
One was tall and had longer hair, while the other was a little shorter and had short blond hair. They were both quite handsome and impressive – especially since I was only a little over five feet tall.
Once I was only a few feet away, the tall one made a “stop”-gesture with his hand and asked: “Cas?”
I smiled. “Well, technically my name is y/n, but your friend is here as well.” And I tipped a finger against my head.
“Alright, y/n. My name is Sam, and this is my brother Dean.”, the tall one replied, “We should probably get going. You ready?”
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
The next two weeks that I’d spent with Sam, Dean and Cas in some bad-ass bunker were the most chaotic and most exciting ones of my life.
Sam was searching for the location where the demons were keeping the “instructions” for the spell we were looking to cast. The spell, that should theoretically keep all demons from possessing humans.
Dean and I (and of course Cas) were searching for a way to break the curse on Cas. We actually found it after a week and a half.
But we didn’t enact it yet. Cas said, that if he would leave my body now, I would die because of my injuries from the crash. He had to keep healing me from inside for at least a few weeks.
But then we would have a safe way to get him back into his own vessel. To break the curse, we really just needed an incantation. Just a few words. But they had been hidden pretty good.
Dean, Cas, and I stared to make a good team and so after we’d finished our “task”, we turned to assist Sam with his.
We’d bury our noses in books until we’d fall asleep on the table. Dean would always randomly bring us food and Sam would send us off to bed when we couldn’t keep our eyes open any longer.
They just took me in as if I was their little sister and I didn’t want to admit it at first, but all of a sudden, they were more than friends to me.
They were family.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
One evening, Dean was cooking something in the kitchen and I was reading some old book. After a while, I placed the book down and looked at him.
By now, I was sure that Dean Winchester was a good person. So I was even more curious.
"Dean?", I asked.
He looked up briefly and pulled up his eyebrows.
"Can I ask you... a personal question?"
He chuckled. "Shoot away."
Cas told me that you have been in hell. Can I... you know. Why did you end up there? You're not a serial killer, are you?"
Now he was laughing hard.
"No, I'm not a killer. Well, unless you count monsters. No, I, uh... I made a deal with a demon. Sam was killed. So I made a deal that he would live again and after a year, I would go to hell."
I stared at him in disbelief.
Of all the terrible things I imagined, this came as a surprise to me.
This was not terrible. This was selfless.
"Wow.", I was lost for words, "That's so crazy."
I could tell that hell was a sensible subject, so I didn't press it any further. I was glad that Dean told me as much as he did, cause he was not really the sharing kind.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
After two weeks, we finally found the place were the demons kept the spell.
So, when we were walking up to the big, abandoned warehouse in the middle of nowhere – guns and angel-blades at the ready – I smiled at Sam and Dean.
“So, I’m gonna give the wheel to Cas now before I get us both killed. I wish you luck and look out for each other. Oh, and kick some ass for me!”
Then my eyes flashed blue for a second like they always did when Cas took all control.
For me, it was like watching a really intense movie when they fought their way through dozens of demons.
I could feel Cas moving the blade in my hand. Feel the force, when a demon threw us against a wall. Feel the warmth of his blood on my skin when Dean cut off his head. But it all felt… cloudy. As if I was dreaming. The feeling was there, but at the same time it wasn’t.
They killed most of the demons, but some of them were just knocked unconscious and left there on the ground.
It was a tough fight and there had been some close calls, but all of us reached the big pedestal in the other room alive.
On it, there was a very old piece of parchment with strange symbols written on it.
“Can you read that?”, Dean asked Cas.
“Yes. It’s Enochian.”
Then, he took a closer look and read aloud:
“To separate heaven, hell, and earth,
you need three parts for what their worth.”
“Great.”, Dean interrupted, “No they started rhyming. That can’t be a good sign…”
I wanted to smile, but Cas was in control right now and he just continued reading.
“You need a demon on earth and send it to hell,
an angel’s true form, that’s casting the spell.
It shall then be sealed with a final breath,
when a human soul finds peace in death.”
Cas’s words hung heavy in the air.
Dean was the first to speak.
“Well. That were not the ingredients I was hoping for.”
Sam sighed. “Okay. Let’s think this through. We do have a lot of unconscious demons here that we can exorcise, so that’s easy.”
“And then what?”, Dean sounded angry, “Cas cannot take his true form without killing y/n in the process. And even if we could. We are not going to kill some human.”
They all stood there in silence, thinking.
“Cas?”, I asked in my head, “Please, let me speak.”
“Of course.”, he replied and gave me control.
“Guys don’t be stupid now.”, I said.
They both could tell that it was me talking now because Cas spoke way friendlier.
“We have everything we need to cast the spell right here and now. We can exorcise a demon and Cas can leave my body to take his true form and cast the spell.”
Dean shook his head. “No. If Cas leaves you now, you will die. You are not healed enough."
“Exactly.”, I spoke calmly, “And so a human soul will find peace in death. Hopefully.”
Dean just made a waving gesture and scoffed.
“No, we’re not going to kill you for this, y/n. So, we might as well start looking for another op…”
I raised my voice and cut him off.
“There is no other option! You said it yourself a few hours ago. If we don’t stop the demons soon, they will bring hell on earth.”
He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. You are our responsibility. We’re not killing you!”
Now my voice sounded sincere. And a little sad.
“No, I’m not. I am responsible for my own actions. And you wouldn’t.”
I placed a hand on his arm so Dean would look me in the eyes.
“You can’t kill me, Dean. I have died two weeks ago. A terrible and tragic car crash killed me. You are just the people who granted me two more exciting weeks in this world before I move on to the next. When we met, Cas told me that he could already feel a reaper on its’ way to get me. And now it’s time.”
A silent tear rolled down my cheeks.
“All those days, I have wondered why God gave me a second chance. I knew there had to be a reason for it. And now I know what it was. This is my destiny.”
Dean’s eyes were filling with tears as well, but as always, he coped with anger.
“Screw destiny. And screw god. We make our own destiny. Our own choices.”
“You’re right.”, I smiled, “And I chose to die, so that countless others can live.”
I could see it in his eyes. Dean was defeated. He had no more replies. No more arguments.
He gave up – and that was not something he did easily.
“I hate it when you use my own words against me.”, he smiled weakly.
Now I allowed myself to cry a little and I hugged him tight. Sam joined in and even though I knew that Dean usually hated group-hugs (or hugs in general), I held them for a while.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
To make this easier for all of us, we silently agreed to get this over with fast.
Sam woke a demon and chanted the strange Latin words to send him back to hell.
Dean broke the curse on Cas’s vessel, so he could go back once he’d left my body.
And then I smiled.
“Thank you, guys. For everything. Just keep kicking some ass for me, will you?”
Then Cas started glowing very brightly.
Dean and Sam had to close their eyes, but I didn’t.
For a second, I could catch a glimpse of Cas, as he was leaving my body.
His wings were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen in my life.
“Goodbye.”, I heard Cas’s voice one last time.
“It’s been an honour to ride as a passenger in your life, y/n.”
I grinned.
“Anytime.”
And then the light swallowed me whole.