Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The air is cold when Jungkook returns to Seoul. 

He’s been gone for nearly three years at this point- leaving just a month after finishing college when his apartment lease ended to get a job back in his hometown, Busan. He’s nervous about moving back into the city, though Jungkook hadn’t been nearly this scared the first time that he came to Seoul. 

He’d been twenty-two and bright-eyed, fresh out of his military service and ready to go to school. He had known that he was going to be older than other freshmen enrolled in the Human Resources program, but he thought that it would be okay. When Jungkook finished high school, he had no idea what he might want to do with his life, and his parents never pressured him into doing one thing versus another, so he decided to immediately do his military service. 

And Jungkook was right. He wasn’t the only person his age in his classes, and he tended to mix in with those a few years ahead of him in school, anyway. Of course, his favorite person was two years ahead of him in school, but almost four years older than him-

No , Jungkook tells himself, looking out over the city from his new balcony. We’re not thinking about him .

Jungkook would like to say that it’s being in Seoul once again that’s making him think about the boy who unintentionally broke his heart all of those years ago, but that would be a lie. Jungkook hasn’t forgotten his first love, never stopped thinking about him, and knows that the potential that they’re in the same city again is what makes him so nervous about moving anyway. 

It’s not like they ended on bad terms, or that they ended at all, because Jungkook was never in a relationship with him. But, still, Jungkook knows himself way too well. He knows that if he meets his first love again, he’ll fall in love and end up sad and alone and that is definitely not what Jungkook wants for himself. 

Jungkook is so in tune with his feelings, actually, that he had been hesitant about taking the job that is forcing him back into the city. When his boss told him that a sister location of their business was opening up in Seoul and that they were looking for a Vice President of HR to start with them as soon as possible to get the office fully staffed and really get things up and running, Jungkook almost said no. 

He’d heard the rumors running around the medical office that there was a new location opening up in Seoul. Multiple people from their office had been asked to relocate, some temporarily to get the office staffed, and some permanently. Like Jungkook.

“You’d no longer be actually working in a medical building, Jungkook-ssi,” his boss had told him. “You would get to have an office in a fancy corporate building and even spend some of your time working from home. Plus, those corporate guys make way more money than you make right now.” 

Jungkook thought that it sounded too good to be true. He’d dreamed of working from home when he graduated college- though introverted, this was more due to him being depressed and lonely at the time- and a pay increase also sounded like a really fantastic deal to Jungkook.

He’d researched the area, and though the neighborhood was close to the one that he’d lived in during college- the medical center was a part of the University, after all- Jungkook thought that it was probably a safe bet. Seoul is a huge city and Jungkook had to go out of his way in college to meet up with-

No , Jungkook reminds himself. You’re not going to run into him, so there’s no reason to think about him . 

Jungkook shakes the thoughts out of his head, realizing that it doesn’t matter because he had told his boss that he would take the job, felt like it would be crazy not to take such an obvious step in the right direction for the growth of his career, which is the only thing that Jungkook has been focused on since he graduated. Jungkook scolds himself lightly- he’s only been moved into his apartment for all of four hours and he’s already broken the one and only rule that he had made for himself before moving here. 

Jungkook sighs, noting that it’s now cold enough that he can see his breath whenever he exhales. 

Taking that as his cue to go back into his new apartment and finally begin to unpack some of the boxes that his parents had helped him move into the new place, Jungkook opens the sliding glass door back to his living room and steps inside. 

He’d splurged for a two-bedroom place, figuring that he’d like to separate his bedroom from the home office that he’s going to make since he now gets to spend three of his work days at home. Jungkook knows that it was a good idea, but he can’t help but feel like the apartment is too big for him. 

He’d gone from living in his childhood bedroom with his parents to living in a two bedroom apartment all on his own. Sure, Jungkook knows that he’s going to fill it with furniture in the coming days when those pieces get delivered to him, but Jungkook still can’t help but feel a bit lonely again. Feels more like he had felt when he graduated college. 

Jungkook had really only made one friend when he was in school, but unfortunately, he fell in love with that friend and they haven’t seen one another since Jungkook went back to Busan.

Jungkook makes quick work of unpacking all of his clothes, the rice cooker that his mom had gotten for him back in college that he’s kept in his closet all of these years, and the small amount of food that his parents brought with them so that Jungkook wouldn’t have to worry about grocery shopping tonight. 

When Jungkook looks around the empty apartment, he kind of wishes that he had taken some time off to get settled in before he has to be at a corporate office with new people that he doesn’t know, looking through applications to get an entire new medical center staffed before the grand opening in a month. He’s tired, and moving to Seoul has been more emotionally impactful than Jungkook had anticipated that it would be, so he wishes that he would have given himself more time.

Jungkook hadn’t, though, and knows that he needs to get a few things in order tomorrow before his official first day as the HRVP, so he sits alone in the middle of his living room floor and eats the rice and side dishes from his parents. 

“Hi! I’m Taehyung, the assistant for the Vice President of Human Resources,” a man who looks around Jungkook’s age says the second that Jungkook steps off the elevator and onto the eleventh floor of the new building he works in. 

Jungkook blinks at him, already feeling a little overwhelmed. “Hi?” 

Taehyung’s eyes widen, looking like he’s about to beg Jungkook for mercy. 

“Oh my god, are you not Jungkook-ssi? I’m so sorry- it’s just that, with my position, it’s kind of my job to know everyone’s faces and your face has not been around here before so I just assumed that you’re our new Vice President, but I am so sorry-” 

“I am Jungkook,” Jungkook says. “Sorry- I guess I kind of forgot my new job title. I’m not used to being referred to that way yet.” 

Taehyung smiles at him, looking like he understands, or at least like he isn’t upset with Jungkook for being kind of rude to him. “Totally okay, Jungkook-ssi!” 

Jungkook smiles, something tight and awkward that definitely matches how Jungkook is feeling on the inside right now rather than something friendly and cool, which is the impression that Jungkook had wanted to give off. “I’m also not used to having an assistant,” Jungkook admits. “We had a really small HR team at the Busan location, so this is all really…” 

“Overwhelming?” Taehyung offers.

Jungkook nods. “I was going to say ‘new’, but overwhelming definitely fits, too. I feel too young to be doing this and I haven’t even been to this office before. Honestly, I was just glad that my badge let me in here.” 

Taehyung nods. “I was the one who ordered your new badge when you were promoted. I made sure that it would have access to everywhere that you need access to in this building and in others and that it was sent to your old office so that you would be able to use it on your first day here.” 

“Oh, wow,” Jungkook says, impressed with the amount of forethought that Taehyung had put into something as simple as a badge. “Thank you for doing all of that for me. It wasn’t necessary, but it’s really appreciated. It was very kind of you.” 

Taehyung smiles again, and this time it looks a little more genuine. “Ah, just doing my job, Jungkook-ssi. And, as part of my job, I have you booked off from doing anything today other than meeting everyone who works in this office and getting a sort of tour around this neighborhood. You probably already know, but almost all of the buildings around here are part of our company, so I want to make sure that you know where they all are.” 

“Okay, that sounds good,” Jungkook agrees. “Thank you for planning out my first day. I was a little bit nervous because all they really did was send me an offer letter and an address.” 

Taehyung nods like that sounds correct to him. “Yeah, I’ve been working here since I graduated college, so I know what it can be like here. The bosses tend to be really busy, so we assistants try our best to make sure that all of the behind the scenes stuff goes smoothly.” 

“That’s really kind of you,” Jungkook says again. “I’m really grateful for all you’ve done for me already. By the way, when did you graduate college?” Jungkook can’t tell, but it seems like Taehyung is maybe around his age. 

“Four years ago,” Taehyung answers, leading Jungkook toward what Jungkook hopes is his new office. “I did my first year of school, then went to the military, then finished school. So I was actually born in ninety-five, and was a bit older than everyone else in my class, but...” 

Jungkook nods. “Me too! I mean- I was born in ninety-seven. But I did my military service right after high school so I was older than a lot of people in my classes as well. You can refer to me casually if you want,” Jungkook says. He definitely doesn’t like the idea of Taehyung treating him so formally when he’s older than him. And when they will clearly be working very closely together with Taehyung basically having all of Jungkook’s schedule at his fingertips. 

“Okay, Jungkook-ah,” Taehyung says, smiling. “You can call me hyung as well. It’s actually really exciting to have you in here because Jiminie and I have been the youngest since we started here! The assistants apparently stay around forever so we haven’t had anyone younger than us start, well, ever.” 

“Jimin?” 

“He’s the assistant for our CFO,” Taehyung explains, stopping next to an office and a cubicle. “His cubicle is right next to mine, which is right here. And here’s your office! It’s a nice one, if I do say so myself, but I think that I like it because it makes my cubicle the most private of all of them. And because the little coffee stand that’s in here is right in between mine and Jiminie’s cubicles and I feel like I’m always in need of coffee.” 

Jungkook nods, feeling like he’s taking in a lot of information right now, even though he knows that the rest of the day is going to have so much more information coming at him. 

“Go ahead and put your stuff in your new office, take a moment to look around and sort of decompress,” Taehyung instructs, like he knows that Jungkook is easily overwhelmed. “Then, come get me when you’re ready and I’ll give you a tour of the office in its entirety. Well- maybe not the whole thing because there are literally eleven floors, but the most important places in the building, as well as some of the buildings around the neighborhood that you might have to visit sometimes.” 

Jungkook nods. 

“I’m going to make a cup of coffee really quickly. Do you want one?” Taehyung asks. “You kind of look like you could use one.”

“Oh, if you would just show me where-” 

“I can make it,” Taehyung insists. “Or go buy you one! Really, if you have a preferred-” 

“I don’t,” Jungkook says. “I like just plain, black coffee.” 

Taehyung wrinkles his nose like he’s disgusted at the thought of drinking black coffee. Jungkook gets it. He only started drinking his coffee black because-

No . 

“Thank you,” Jungkook says, feeling like he’ll never stop thanking Taehyung at this rate. “I’ll make them myself after this, but thank you for making me this one.” 

Taehyung smiles. “It’s literally in my job description to get your coffee,” he says. “But, if you want to make it yourself, that’s fine, too. I’ll make this one, though. Give you a few minutes to settle in while I make them and then I’ll come get you to get started on the rest of the day.” 

Jungkook nods, taking a seat in the large rolling chair in front of his desk. His desk is facing the office door, so he can see the very edge of Taehyung’s cubicle if he’s sitting at the desk. Behind him are fairly large windows. Jungkook hopes that the blinds that are currently open are easy to close because he can only imagine getting on a voice chat with someone important from the company and being entirely washed out by the harsh light behind him. 

Aside from the desk, there’s a bookcase that’s already filled with what looks like various medical journals against the wall opposite his desk, and a small round table with two chairs at it in the corner. Jungkook briefly wonders if he will have to hold a lot of meetings in this office, or if they’ll be more likely to be scheduled online. After looking over the staff that he’s in charge of, Jungkook noted that almost all of them work in a hybrid model, so he suspects that most of his meetings will be done over the computer. 

Jungkook takes a moment to just breathe, closing his eyes so that he can focus on his breath in the few minutes of downtime he has today. Being the Vice President of the Human Resources department at his age is definitely a huge deal. He knows that he’s already being talked about amongst the other VPs and even higher directors. He’s worked hard over the last three years and moved through the ranks quickly through both luck and his own interpersonal relationships that he’s made within the business. 

Jungkook is naturally an introvert. But, once he left college, Jungkook decided that he was going to put all of his focus into his career. Mostly, he wanted to pay off his student loans and help his parents with paying off their house and the snack bar that they run, but additionally not thinking about his college years was always way easier when Jungkook was instead focused on problem after problem in his job. So he’s naturally an introvert, but he’s pushed through hating first meetings and hating sitting on phone calls for the sake of furthering his job. And Jungkook knows that it’s working. He’s trusted within his company and treated well because he’s put the work in to make that happen. 

There’s a knock on Jungkook’s open door. Jungkook opens his eyes to see Taehyung standing there, two paper cups of coffee in his hands. 

“Hi,” Taehyung greets. “Are you ready?” 

Jungkook nods, putting a bright smile on his face. “Yes, please show me around.” 

Jungkook spends the remainder of the day glued to Taehyung’s side. Jungkook may technically be Taehyung’s boss, but Jungkook’s worked in offices long enough to know that it’s people like Taehyung who are the backbone of these workplaces. Jungkook has no doubt that Taehyung knows every person who works on their floor, and he strongly suspects that Taehyung knows all of the front desk workers at every last building that they visit on their tour if the way Taehyung greets them all before Jungkook can even see a name badge is anything to go off of. 

Jungkook also meets Jimin, Taehyung’s self-described work-husband and best friend, who is apparently in the office much more often than his boss is. Jimin could choose to work from home, as could Taehyung, but both prefer going into the office every day. Jungkook isn’t sure, but he thinks that they might be kind of in love with one another. Jungkook knows exactly what eyes in love look like- he was far too used to seeing his own in college. 

He only talks to Jimin briefly, but he learns plenty about Jimin during Taehyung’s tour, when Taehyung talks about where he and Jimin tend to spend most of their days, including various break rooms that Taehyung shows him, as well as conference rooms that Taehyung says a lot of the meetings that Jungkook will have in person will take place. 

“Do you sit in on those meetings?” Jungkook asks, wondering why Taehyung and Jimin would spend a lot of their time in those rooms. There weren’t as many assistants in the Busan branch, likely because there wasn’t a corporate office, but the ones who were there usually did not sit in on meetings. 

Taehyung shrugs. “Depends. The last person that I worked for- before they created your position and my current position- was really old and he didn’t know how to work a PowerPoint presentation, so I would go in and do that for him. Jimin does it for the CFO,” Taehyung explains. “But I assume that you know how to do that- lord only knows how many of those things we had to create in college.” 

Jungkook nods. “If being in the meetings is helpful for your development, you can still sit in on them if you want. I can pretend to not know how to run a PowerPoint if that’s helpful to you.”

Taehyung smiles. “Thanks, I’ll let you know.” 

Besides that, Jungkook’s day is surprisingly pretty boring. He doesn’t have anything to actually do on the first day- Taehyung had scheduled any of his meetings for after his first day- but he does spend a lot of time introducing himself to every last person that they come across, so he spends much more time talking about himself and where he’s from and where he went to school and what his hobbies are than he would like to. But Jungkook’s used to doing this, so his heart doesn’t race quite like it had when he had started his first job. 

Jungkook also allows himself time to adjust his office space. He doesn’t like his desk in its current position, so that it feels like he is keeping tabs on Taehyung when he looks forward, so he enlists Taehyung’s help to move his desk to the center of the room and also has Taehyung order him a filing cabinet and a floor lamp to fill the space where his desk had been prior. 

When Jungkook gets home, much earlier than he thinks that he can expect to from here on out, he boils some water for cup noodles that he had grabbed quickly after work and sits in the middle of his living room floor once again. Jungkook wishes that he had gone to pick out furniture in person since he still has nothing in his living room or dining room, but he figures that he could have worse problems. He could not have a bed, which would be a disaster. So he enjoys his noodles on the floor alone. 

Two weeks after he started working for the corporate office, Jungkook realizes that Jimin and Taehyung might want to be friends with him.

At first, Jungkook thought that Taehyung was simply overeager and trying to make sure that Jungkook wasn’t going to suddenly ask for a new assistant out of nowhere- which, to be entirely clear, Jungkook would never do. Taehyung shows up at Jungkook’s office door every morning with a coffee and an itinerary and pretty much knows exactly what Jungkook needs before he needs it- by dropping in to have lunch together, or asking Jungkook random things about his family and childhood. 

Jungkook made sure to always thank Taehyung, trying to hint that he’s not going to try to replace him without outright saying that. 

But then Jimin starts popping into Jungkook’s office randomly as well, asking him how his day is going and making general small talk that would normally make Jungkook feel like locking himself in the office so that no one can talk to him but it feels genuinely natural coming from Jimin. Jungkook gets the vibe that Jimin really is interested in listening to Jungkook’s memories of his childhood and that he likes telling Jungkook about his favorite places in his hometown- a town very close to Jungkook’s own.

Jungkook still doesn't recognize that Taehyung and Jimin are trying to befriend him. He figures that Jimin is just polite and likes to learn about the people he works with. After all, Jungkook sees Jimin talking to almost everyone in the office. However, when he overhears those conversations, Jungkook notes that they’re much more work-related than personal. 

He finally realizes that they’re trying to befriend him when Taehyung invites him out for dinner after work on a random Wednesday afternoon. 

“What?” Jungkook asks, sure that he’s heard wrong. “Did I have a dinner on my itinerary and I didn’t realize?” 

Taehyung scratches the back of his neck like he feels awkward. “No, no,” Taehyung says, immediately soothing Jungkook’s fears. “It’s just- I know that you’re new in town and there hasn’t been anyone around me and Jiminie’s age in a while, and we really like talking with you-” 

Jungkook stares, apparently needing Taehyung to actually spell this out for him. 

“We want to be friends with you,” Taehyung finally says, face bright red. “Jiminie and I are inviting you to get dinner with us because we want to be friends with you.” 

“Oh,” Jungkook says, feeling blank. He hasn’t been invited out to dinner by anyone except for his parents- which, really, Jungkook’s parents would attempt to go on a date night and Jungkook would bring himself along, so he supposes that even they hadn’t been inviting him out for dinner- in years. “Um, yes. I would love to go.” 

Jungkook likes both Taehyung and Jimin, and thinks that he could really get along with them if he allows himself to open up to them more than he has so far. They’ve been talking about surface-level things so far, things that are safe to discuss with co-workers and nothing more. But Jungkook thinks that there are more topics that he would be comfortable sharing with them that he definitely would not want to share with someone like the older CFO in the office next to his who made some unsavory remarks about other people that they work with. 

“Cool,” Taehyung says, a relaxed smile on his face, which actually makes Jungkook feel a bit calmer himself. “Come on, then. I know that you don’t have anything else on your schedule for today, so walk out with us.” 

Jungkook nods, packing up his laptop and sliding it into his satchel to take home. He chooses to work in the office most days, but his couch is finally being delivered on Thursday and Jungkook does not want to risk missing the delivery because he desperately wants the couch to finally arrive the next day. Over the two and a half weeks that he’s been in Seoul, Jungkook’s gotten all of his furniture delivered except for the couch and he’s really ready to just be fully settled into his new life. 

“Where is Jimin?” Jungkook asks, noting that Jimin is not in his cubicle despite the fact that Taehyung told Jungkook to walk out with both of them.

“He’s on the phone with his boyfriend,” Taehyung says, looking glum. Jungkook’s surprised to hear that Jimin is already dating someone. He definitely thought that Jimin and Taehyung were involved with each other. Or, at the very least, wanted to be involved with each other romantically.

“His name is Namjoon and he’s an absolute sweetheart,” Taehyung continues quickly, face suddenly transformed into that of the supportive best friend once again. “He treats Jiminie really well and he’s quite handsome. Actually, kind of a funny story, but I had a crush on Namjoonie-hyung when we first met.” 

Jungkook blinks. That’s definitely interesting information. Jungkook wonders if he’s reading this wrong. He supposes that it wouldn’t be the first time that he’s been unable to read someone else’s feelings. For a while, Jungkook genuinely thought that he had a chance with-

No . 

“That’s cool,” Jungkook says, pushing the down button for the elevator when they finally arrive at it. “Is Namjoon-ssi joining us for dinner?” 

Taehyung nods. “Probably. They’re still sort of in their honeymoon phase, you know? I think they’ve been together for almost a year and they still act like they’re in their first week of dating. They can’t really go two days without seeing one another, so I always end up being the third wheel.” 

Jungkook doesn’t point out that Taehyung could just not hang out with them all of the time, but Jungkook feels even more certain in his initial read of Taehyung. He definitely has feelings for Jimin. 

“Hyung actually set me up with his best friend once,” Taehyung says, giving Jungkook way more information than he asked for. Jungkook is thankful for it, though. He’d rather hear about Taehyung’s dating history than talk about his own, pathetic failed romances. “Talk about awkward. I was crushing on Namjoonie-hyung and that guy was way more interested in his work than dating anyone. Seemed like he was only going out with me as a favor to Namjoonie-hyung. Which, let me tell you, was a major humbling experience for me.” 

Jungkook laughs without meaning to. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I just like the way that you’re so open. It’s really refreshing.” 

Taehyung smiles at him. “Not a lot of friends back home who would talk about their awkward first dates the first time you hang out?” 

“Not a lot of friends back home, period,” Jungkook answers honestly. “The most socialization that I got was when I forced my parents to let me interrupt their date nights. I was way more focused on my job, to be honest.” 

“That makes sense,” Taehyung says as they step off the elevator. “Explains how you got this job when you’re so young! That’s such a huge accomplishment. You must have worked hard for it.” 

Jungkook nods. “When I was in college, I was friends with someone who was so passionate about producing music- which was his major when I met him and his job when I finally left the city- that it felt almost impossible not to fall in love with him. I guess I picked up my passion for my career from him, since I apparently found that to be such a desirable trait.” 

Taehyung grins. “I had a feeling that you were like me. My gaydar is never wrong.” 

Jungkook shrugs. He hadn’t really been planning to keep it a secret, but it’s not like he’d had anything to talk about when Jimin and Taehyung asked him about a partner earlier in the week either. 

“I’ve only ever been in love with him,” Jungkook says. “I don’t know how I might feel about anyone else.” 

Taehyung nods. “Was he in love with you, too?” 

“No,” Jungkook says. “He was in love with music.” 

And there wasn’t enough room for any more love in his life , Jungkook doesn’t add. 

“Ah,” Taehyung hums. “Sounds exactly like that guy I went on a date with. He’s fine enough, but he never talks about anything but his job. I tune him out now whenever Namjoonie-hyung brings him along to our hangouts. Though I always get the feeling that he doesn’t want to be there and that he was literally dragged by hyung.” 

Jungkook snorts. 

“And hyung actually could drag him ,” Taehyung adds. “He’s really beefy.” 

Taehyung was right. Namjoon is beefy. Jungkook has always been somewhat of a gym rat since his job involves a lot of time spent sitting at a computer, but even he thinks that he could never reach Namjoon’s level of beefiness. 

“Joonie,” Jimin squeals when they meet eyes outside of the restaurant. “I missed you!” 

“Missed you, too,” Namjoon says, pulling Jimin in for a hug, then kisses his forehead. “Work was so busy yesterday and today since we’re coming up on the deadline for that girl group album-” 

“New Jeans again?” Taehyung asks. 

Namjoon nods. “They’re definitely the biggest money makers at our label right now, so the producers higher than me and hyung are being extremely picky on songs.” 

“Ah,” Taehyung sympathizes. 

“Where is hyung?” Jimin adds. “I thought that you said you were going to try to drag him out of his studio tonight?” 

“Key word was try, Jiminie. He’s even more stressed with this new album than me. Plus, he’s working on his own stuff right now,” Namjoon explains. Then he turns to Jungkook. “Hi. I’m Namjoon. I assume you’re Jungkook?” 

Jungkook nods. “Hi. It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard good things about you.” 

Jimin tilts his head, like he’s wondering where . Which, okay, Jungkook exaggerated because he’s only heard things about Namjoon from Taehyung twenty minutes prior. Plus, all that he heard was that Namjoon was buff and treated Jimin well and that’s all Jungkook needed to know that he was a good guy.

Namjoon smiles. “Jiminie’s been talking about how much he wants to be your friend for nearly two weeks so I’m glad that he got that.” 

Jungkook nods, still feeling a bit weird that two people want to be his friend. He hadn’t been unlikable in school or in college, but Jungkook’s really only ever had one person that he considered to be a close friend, and Jungkook realized in their final year of friendship that he probably annoyed his way into being friends, rather than the other person actually wanting to be his friend. 

“Let’s go in,” Taehyung says, motioning toward the door. “It’s just barbecue, but it’s easily the best place to get meat in the neighborhood.” 

“I remember you showing me this place on our tour of the area,” Jungkook notes. “Barbecue is my favorite. I love pork belly.” 

Taehyung grins at Jungkook, then turns to lead them into the small restaurant. 

The rest of the night goes well. Jungkook likes Namjoon, though he thinks that Namjoon is a little bit stiff with him and Taehyung, seeming like he’s not quite comfortable talking with them. Jimin doesn’t seem to notice, flitting between conversations with Namjoon and with Jungkook and Taehyung with ease. 

Jungkook learns that Namjoon works for a music company called Big Hit, and it makes Jungkook snort because Taehyung hadn’t been kidding earlier when he said that Jungkook’s first love reminded him of the boy he went on a date with. Because both of them truly were more in love with music than anything else in the world. 

He learns that Jimin and Namjoon met at a club that Jimin and Taehyung frequent but Namjoon had only been to once- the night that he met Jimin- because he had been dragged there by his college best friends who were celebrating their six-year anniversary and apparently wanted to spend that day together with Namjoon to find him a boyfriend. 

Namjoon apparently still maintains that it was a stupid way for his friends to spend their anniversary, but Jimin says that it brought them together so it was a great idea from them.

Jungkook keeps his personal details light because there’s really not much to him. He’s either at work, inside his apartment, or at the gym, and there’s really not much more for him to talk about.

Jimin pushes him with questions about past relationships and jobs, but there’s not much for Jungkook to say, so he just shrugs and says that he’s really not an interesting person, and he truly hasn’t done anything but work in years. 

“It’s because he was in love with a boy who was obsessed with work,” Taehyung explains. “Apparently picked up the unhealthy habit from him.” 

Jungkook doesn’t want to think about him, but he knows that Taehyung is right, so he doesn’t say anything else. 

Hanging out with Jimin and Taehyung becomes a more common occurrence for Jungkook. He’s lucky that he very rarely has to stay past his scheduled time at his job, and he often goes out with the two of them whenever they’re all free. 

Jungkook definitely understands what Taehyung meant when he told Jungkook that Jimin and Namjoon were still in their honeymoon phase. 

It’s clear that Namjoon gets uncomfortable with new people, or when he’s in large groups, but if Jimin sends a message to Namjoon asking him to join them for dinner or drinks, Namjoon never fails to show up and make polite talk. 

Jungkook even meets the couple that had dragged Namjoon out on their anniversary when Jimin and Namjoon met. Their names are Seokjin and Hoseok and they both immediately take a liking to Jungkook. At first, Jungkook feels awkward, like they’re only being overly nice to him because he just happens to be there, but Seokjin insists that they love absorbing new people into their friend group, especially a definitive youngest since apparently Jimin and Taehyung had been arguing over whether they're both considered the youngest in their friend group or if just Taehyung was. 

He assumes that Hoseok is the friend whom Namjoon had been trying to drag away from work the night that they first met because he learns that Hoseok also works at Big Hit as a choreographer. He doesn’t quite know what Seokjin does for work, but he’s always talking about different accounts and mergers so Jungkook just labels him as an accountant in his brain. 

Tonight is one of the nights that Jimin and Taehyung ask Jungkook to go out. Though it’s different from their usual routine because it’s a Friday and Jimin wants to go to the club where he and Namjoon first met. 

“It’s our one-year anniversary,” Jimin had explained when he stopped in Jungkook’s office earlier in the week for lunch. “And we want to do the same thing for you that Hoseokie-hyung and Seokjinie-hyung did for Namjoonie-hyung on their anniversary. Think about it. You could meet the love of your life tonight!” 

“Take Taehyungie-hyung,” Jungkook said, face straight.

Jimin blushed, stammering some excuse about how Taehyung didn’t need a boyfriend because he has Namjoon and Jimin to hang out with, but Jungkook looks like he could use a boyfriend. 

Jungkook had snorted, thinking about really telling Jimin no just so that Taehyung could go and attempt to pick someone up in order to make Jimin and Namjoon really do some introspection about their feelings for Taehyung that may or may not exist, but he hadn’t been clubbing since he was in college, and figures that he doesn’t have too many more years where he’s able to drink until the early hours of the morning and still wake up able to move the next day, so he said yes to going. 

He’d gone home on Friday and put on something that he’d owned since college. Just some tight jeans with rips at the knees and a silk button-down shirt that Jungkook doesn’t even remember buying. But he thinks that he looks appropriate enough to go out to a club.

And Jimin’s right. He could meet the love of his life in this club. 

“This place is loud,” Jungkook comments when they get past the bouncer and step inside. “This does not feel like the type of place where you meet the love of your life.” 

“What?” Taehyung yells, proving Jungkook’s point that it’s too loud in the club to find the love of his life. “Jiminie said that everyone is already at a booth, so let’s go find them.” 

Jungkook nods, following Taehyung through the club. Taehyung seems to know exactly where Jimin and Namjoon- and probably Seokjin and Hoseok- are going to be and Jungkook figures that it’s because they frequent this club. 

“Hi!” Jungkook sees Jimin stand up and wave them over. It’s quieter in this area, but definitely not quiet enough that he can hear Jimin saying hello to them all. 

Taehyung waves back, though there’s something definitively stiff in his movements. Jungkook thinks that he might be uncomfortable, thinking that Namjoon and Jimin might be trying to hook him up with someone instead of Jungkook. 

“Come on,” Jungkook says, nudging Taehyung in their direction. “I want this night over with as soon as possible.” 

Taehyung grins at him. “Still not in the mood to find love?” 

“Not really,” Jungkook says, forcing himself to stop thinking about love. He figures that Jimin will probably be pushing him into the arms of strange men the entire night, so it will probably be hard, but he still wants to try. 

“Maybe you can just find a hookup, then,” Taehyung says as they take a seat in the booth.

Jungkook had been right about Seokjin and Hoseok being there as well and he’s glad to see them. He’s really glad to have Taehyung and Jimin as his first friends in the city, but Seokjin’s quiet yet chaotic demeanor matches Jungkook’s own energy much better, so he likes spending time with him. 

“A hookup?” Jimin screeches. “Jungkook is here to find the love of his life tonight.” 

Jungkook looks around the open space of the club. There are strobe lights and loud music and Jungkook doesn’t think that he’d be able to get a conversation in with a single person in this room if they’re not sitting at one of the booths. Even now, where the six of them are sitting, it’s still loud enough that Jimin is kind of yelling to talk to them. 

“Don’t put that pressure on him-” Taehyung says as Seokjin says, “Maybe Taehyungie should be the one finding the love of his life tonight.” 

Seokjin winks at Jungkook quickly and everyone watches awkwardly as Jimin sputters reasons why they’re here for Jungkook and not Taehyung. 

“Anyway,” Taehyung says, clearly trying to change the subject. “Where’s hyung? I thought you said he was finally going to come out with us tonight.” 

“He’s here,” Namjoon says. “Just at the bar. I asked him to bring back drinks for you and Jungkook, too.” Then, to Jungkook, he adds, “I told him to get you a rum and Diet Coke because that’s what you got the last time that we were out. Hope that’s okay.” 

Jungkook nods. That’s his go-to drink at any bar he goes out to. But he’s also confused. “Who?” He asks Taehyung. 

“Oh,” Taehyung laughs. “I forgot that you haven’t met yet. Remember the boy that Namjoonie-hyung forced me to go on a date with?” 

Jungkook nods as Namjoon says, “I didn’t force you -” 

“That’s him. Namjoonie-hyung always has to drag him out of the studio because he’s a workaholic,” Taehyung explains. “It’s why I was wondering if he even made it out. He almost always says no.” 

“Oh. I remember you asking about him the first time I met Namjoonie-hyung,” Jungkook recalls. “I thought that you were talking about Hoseokie-hyung, though. Since I learned that he works at the same company.” 

Hoseok snorts. “I love my job, but I definitely don’t love staying in the dance studios past when I have to.” 

“But you’re always staying late,” Seokjin complains. “I never see you for dinner anymore because you’re training with those girls-” 

“I have to force them to go home the same way that Namjoonie forced Taehyungie to go on a date with hyung-” 

“I didn’t force anyone-” 

Jungkook chuckles at the bickering between the three. He knows that they’ve all known one another since high school, though Seokjin and Hoseok didn’t quite realize that they had feelings for one another until they graduated from college, and Jungkook thinks that the banter that they all fall into is easy and comfortable and he really enjoys getting to listen in on it. He hopes that someday he can easily joke around with them all as well. 

“Alright, some dude definitely was trying to pick me up at the bar, but I got the drinks-” 

Jungkook freezes, his entire body stilling so quickly that Taehyung, who is pressed against his side, notices. 

Because Jungkook knows that voice. 

Jungkook remembers nights spent in the campus studios, hearing that very same voice mumbling over things that needed to be changed in the song that he was writing. Jungkook remembers lunches where he would try his hardest to learn all of the personal information he could, hearing that voice laugh and ask why Jungkook was so interested in hearing about things that don’t matter. Jungkook remembers days in the library, listening to that voice complain about having to do Chemistry homework when he was an Audio Production major and would never use Chemistry in his life outside of that class. 

Jungkook remembers every day he spent in college yearning to hear that voice just once more before going to bed, wondering if he would ever reach out first or if it was always going to be Jungkook as the pursuer. 

And Jungkook can’t believe that the voice behind him, the voice belonging to the person who just bought him a rum and Diet Coke, belonging to Namjoon’s best friend, is that of his first love. 

Can’t believe that the voice behind him belongs to none other than Min Yoongi. 

“Yoongi-hyung,” Taehyung says, a smile on his face that doesn’t quite reach his eyes since he seems to be worried about Jungkook. “Glad you could make it. We’ve been hanging out with Jungkookie for over a month and you haven’t made it to a single one of the hangouts with him.” 

“That’s true,” Jimin says, as though he’s just realizing that. “Seokjinie-hyung and Hoseokie-hyung have practically adopted Jungkookie already and you haven’t even met him!” 

Jungkook can’t see what kind of reaction Yoongi has hearing his name because he’s not sure that he can turn around to look at him. 

Jungkook logically knows that he and Yoongi didn’t end their friendship on bad terms, but it would be an absolute lie for Jungkook to say that he didn’t recognize that Yoongi was in love with music and didn’t have much room left in his life for anything else. 

He always met up with Jungkook when Jungkook would ask him to- which was all of the time because Jungkook was literally in love with Yoongi when he was in college- but he never went out of his way to meet up with Jungkook otherwise. He never texted Jungkook first. He never asked to hang out. He never seemed to notice when Jungkook was going through an especially hard time. 

So Yoongi wasn’t mean, they just lost contact because Jungkook realized that Yoongi would never look at him the way that he looked at his keyboard and he moved away without telling anyone- not that he had anyone besides Yoongi that he really considered to be his friend- and, when after three weeks, Jungkook hadn’t heard a peep from Yoongi, he changed his phone number so that he would never know if Yoongi didn’t try to reach out to him. 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Yoongi says in a way that suggests that he’s used to being teased about not joining the rest of his friends for events. “I’m here now.” 

 “Here’s a disgustingly sweet strawberry daiquiri for Taehyung,” Yoongi says, setting a red drink in front of Jungkook and pushing it toward Taehyung. “And a rum and Diet Coke for our newest- oh. Jungkook-ah?” 

Jungkook finally looks up, figuring that there’s absolutely no way he can sneak away and quit his job and move back to Busan, since Yoongi clearly recognizes and remembers Jungkook. 

Yoongi looks older than he had when Jungkook left, obviously. Time clearly treated him well since Jungkook thinks that he looks even more handsome than Jungkook remembers. Though, Jungkook usually doesn't let himself remember what Yoongi looks like. Tries to keep the name and face buried as far back in his memories as he possibly can. 

“Hi, Yoongi-ssi,” Jungkook says, bowing his head slightly. Maybe if he pretends that he’s not the same boy who had pathetically followed Yoongi around their college campus, then Yoongi will think that he’s misremembering. 

“Yoongi-ssi?” Yoongi says, sounding both confused and like he wants to elaborate on that. “Jungkook-ah, it’s been years since I’ve seen you, holy fuck. You’ve grown up so much.” 

“Oh, fuck,” Taehyung mumbles from beside him, clearly reading the situation correctly.

Jungkook simply nods in response to Yoongi, not trusting his voice right now. Not trusting that he’s not going to experience his first heartbreak all over again at this very moment. He’s not sure what to do- all he knows is that he wants to leave and pretend that he never met Min Yoongi again.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Yoongi asks, looking like he can’t believe that he’s run into Jungkook again. Which doesn’t make sense to Jungkook because there’s no way that Yoongi spared him a single thought since the last time that they saw one another in person. Maybe, probably once, he heard Jungkook’s name and thought, ‘Huh, wonder what happened to that kid,’ and then promptly forgot about Jungkook for good. “Give me a hug!” 

And despite every fiber of Jungkook’s being telling him to run away, Jungkook listens. 

💔

Yoongi, for once in his life, is glad that Namjoon dragged him out of his studio. 

He hasn’t seen Jungkook in probably three years and he was starting to wonder if he’d ever get a chance to see the boy again. He’d heard the name come up a few times when Hoseok and Namjoon were talking, describing their new friend who is technically Taehyung’s boss. 

Although Yoongi had figured that it likely wasn’t the same Jungkook from his college years, he started to wonder about what his Jungkook was doing with his life. He hadn’t really thought about Jungkook much recently. Nearly three years prior, when Yoongi realized that he had missed Jungkook’s graduation ceremony, he tried to call his younger friend, but the number was no longer in service. 

Yoongi searched through his text messages to see if Jungkook had sent him a new phone number, but there was nothing in his inbox. Though he never used them, Yoongi had gone onto his Instagram and Facebook accounts, assuming that Jungkook probably sent him a friend request or a follow request at some point in the four years that they’d known one another, but he came up empty once again. 

Yoongi was sad that someone he considered to be a good friend appeared to fall off the face of the Earth, but he didn’t put much more thought into it. He figured that Jungkook probably still had his phone number saved and would call him as soon as he got the chance.

That never happened, but Yoongi couldn’t really do much else to find Jungkook, who appeared to not be on any social media, so he did his best to forget about his old friend.

Then his friends started talking about someone named Jungkook and suddenly Yoongi couldn’t stop thinking about what smart, bright-eyed Jungkook was doing with his life. It was like, out of nowhere and three years later, a dam of the memories suddenly broke and Yoongi was unable to stop the overwhelming feeling of missing Jungkook from taking over every fiber of his being. 

He’s been dreaming of the stars in Jungkook’s eyes for weeks and thought that he was just going to have to get over the intense feeling of loneliness that washes over him every time he thinks about Jungkook. 

But it turns out that his Jungkook and their Jungkook are the same person and Yoongi couldn’t be more thrilled about it. He’s so excited to ask Jungkook about his life and get his new phone number and hopefully talk and hang out like they had done in college. Yoongi doesn’t remember ever feeling so cared for as he had felt when Jungkook was constantly around him. 

He remembers lunches with Jungkook and talking with the boy about their futures beyond college and he remembers Jungkook constantly checking in to make sure that Yoongi was feeling happy and eating well and staying healthy. 

And Yoongi supposes that he didn’t really notice how Jungkook was making him feel until Jungkook was gone. 

But, now. Jungkook’s back! He’s in Seoul and already integrated into Yoongi’s friend group, so Yoongi wants nothing more than to jump back into his friendship with Jungkook and feel as content as he had felt back in college.

Sure, Yoongi loves his job. He’s always described music as his first love, and it’s the thing that Yoongi cares about more than anything else in the world, but he wouldn’t say that he feels the same sort of completeness that he had felt when Jungkook was in his life.

Yoongi isn’t quite sure how to describe it. But, when he was in college, Yoongi was always pushing to improve his music. He wanted nothing more than to make it as a producer, or as an artist if any record label wanted to pick him up based on the angry raps that he put out on SoundCloud, but Yoongi’s love has always laid with writing and producing rather than performing. 

And even though he was constantly pushing himself to be the best producer in South Korea, Yoongi always went to bed feeling like everything was right in the world. Then, just after his birthday, Yoongi started to go to sleep with a hole in his chest, wondering why it felt like something was missing in his life. 

It was nearly May by the time Yoongi realized that it was Jungkook missing from his life. Without his friend constantly hanging around, Yoongi realized that he hadn’t been eating well, or he would go days without talking to anyone. 

Yoongi graduated two years before Jungkook, but Yoongi was so used to Jungkook showing up at the small, independent studio where Yoongi had gotten a job, that he usually still had some socialization in his week. Jungkook often brought food that he made in his studio apartment or Yoongi’s favorite takeout, so Yoongi still felt like he was eating well and like he was well-rested enough to fall asleep quickly each night. 

Then, suddenly, Yoongi wasn’t only feeling emotionally like he was missing something, but also physically. He wasn’t eating well and he wasn’t feeling well and the studio that he worked for was losing money quicker than they were making money, Yoongi really just wanted someone to talk to and he felt more alone than he could ever remember feeling. 

“Oh my god. It’s so good to see you,” Yoongi says, holding onto Jungkook tightly. “I can’t believe how much you’ve grown! You don’t look like a kid anymore.” 

“Ouch,” Yoongi hears Taehyung say as Jungkook mumbles, “I wasn’t a kid before.” 

Yoongi shakes his head. “Of course not! I mean, you were twenty-one when we met, right?” 

“Something like that,” Jungkook says, body seeming stiff. 

He quickly sits back down, sliding into the booth next to Taehyung. Yoongi wants to sit down next to him, wants to talk and hear about what Jungkook’s been doing for the past three years and how he managed to become Taehyung’s boss in such a short amount of time, but the three-quarters-circle booth really isn’t meant for seven people to sit in and he had already been on the other end earlier. 

So Yoongi takes his seat, figuring that it won’t be long before Taehyung, Jimin, and Hoseok are itching to get on the dance floor. He doesn’t recall Jungkook ever going out to clubs when they were in school, so he thinks that he’ll have some time to catch up with Jungkook once that happens. 

“Wait, do you two already know one another?” Hoseok asks, watching the two of them with interest. 

“We went to college together,” Yoongi answers, smiling at Jungkook, who is staring at the table like it personally offended him. “Jungkook was probably my best friend in college.” 

“Really?” Seokjin asks. “What a crazy world! Jungkookie told us that he wasn’t an interesting person and didn’t have any friends-” 

“You’re making me sound pathetic-” Jungkook whines, glaring at Seokjin and Yoongi feels something weird happen in his stomach. He wonders if he drank his whiskey too quickly.

“-And it turns out that you’re best friends with Namjoonie’s best friend! I can’t believe that Yoongi-yah never mentioned Namjoonie to you,” Seokjin continues, speaking directly to Jungkook.

“I guess we lost contact after I graduated,” Jungkook mutters, voice barely audible in the loud club, then he goes back to staring at the table, seeming uncomfortable. Yoongi understands that. He absolutely hates clubs, too.

He watches as Jungkook picks up his drink and Yoongi suddenly feels fond, remembering that Jungkook almost always got a Diet Coke to drink when they would get lunch together. 

Yoongi’s trying to listen to whatever it is that Namjoon and Hoseok had been arguing about when he came back to the table, everyone quickly over the fact that Jungkook and Yoongi know one another, when he notices Taehyung leaning into Jungkook’s space to whisper something in Jungkook’s ear. 

Something unpleasant twists in Yoongi’s stomach and he’s not really sure why. He’s happy to see Jungkook, and really wants to talk to him and get to know him once again, so why is he suddenly feeling unhappy? 

Yoongi watches as Jungkook nods slowly like he’s really trying to take in everything that Taehyung’s saying. Which, wow, Taehyung is really taking his time pressed up into Jungkook’s personal space, which is something interesting. 

Taehyung is apparently still whispering something to Jungkook, whose eyes flick over to Yoongi, and then widen. Like he’s surprised to see Yoongi looking at him already. 

Jimin apparently takes notice, too, because all of a sudden he’s pointing at Taehyung and saying, “No! Get off of him! How am I supposed to help Jungkookie find the love of his life if other men can smell your cologne on him?”

“Like Taehyung’s cologne wasn’t on you the night that you and Namjoon met,” Seokjin snorts, then grins in Jungkook’s direction. 

Jungkook grins back at him, eyes crinkling in a way that Yoongi hasn’t seen in years; and he didn’t quite realize how much he had missed seeing Jungkook’s bunny smile. 

Seokjin notices Yoongi looking at him and raises a concerned eyebrow. Yoongi shakes his head minutely, telling Seokjin not to worry about it. Because there’s nothing to worry about. Yoongi’s just excited to see Jungkook again and supposes that he’s not used to Jungkook paying attention to so many other people. Which he thinks makes sense. He and Jungkook almost exclusively hung out one-on-one when they were in college.

Still, Yoongi can’t help but wish that Jungkook were a little more excited to see him. 

Yoongi remembers the time when Jungkook was always really excited to hang out with him, saying that even if he just saw Yoongi for three minutes, it would make his day better. And Yoongi doesn't really feel that energy coming from Jungkook right now. 

In fact, Yoongi realizes, Jungkook’s barely said anything to him. And he referred to him without the hyung honorific. Maybe they were out of contact for a while, but Yoongi had been imagining a reunion with Jungkook for weeks now, so he can’t help but feel a little disappointed that it’s not going the way that he created in his brain. 

“Is Jungkookie even interested in finding the love of his life?” Taehyung asks, draping an arm around Jungkook’s shoulder. Yoongi thinks that it’s a bit inappropriate for a boss and employee to behave like that, but he supposes that it’s none of his business. “What if he came here to drink and dance with his friends? Like we’re about to do right now.” 

“Jungkookie doesn’t really dance,” Yoongi says, hoping that it’s true. He just wants Jungkook to stay behind with him and Namjoon and Seokjin so that he can talk to him without Taehyung being all up in their personal space.

Taehyung and Jungkook both blink at Yoongi. 

“Didn’t you tell us that you were in a dance club in college?” Jimin asks, watching Jungkook carefully. 

Jungkook nods. “I was, yeah. All four years that I was in school.” 

“I mean- that’s different from dancing in a club,” Yoongi says, trying to save face. He can’t believe that he forgot that Jungkook was in the dance club. Now that Jimin mentions it, Yoongi can remember Jungkook inviting him to showcases. Yoongi doesn’t think that he ever made it to one, first being way too busy with his own schoolwork and then too busy being nothing more than an overworked junior producer after graduating, but he should have remembered something so important to Jungkook. 

“Anyway,” Taehyung says, nudging Jungkook’s side, letting him know to stand up. Jungkook quickly obliges. “Who is going to join us?” 

“Me, of course,” Jimin says, urging Namjoon and Yoongi to stand up so that he can slide out of the booth as well. “I don’t trust Taehyung to pick out the boy who Jungkook is going to go home with.” 

“Go home with-” Yoongi starts to ask, but he’s cut off by Seokjin. 

“Didn’t Taehyung point out Namjoonie to you ?” 

Hoseok laughs from beside Seokjin, also shifting his body to get out of the booth. “Stop pointing out the obvious or else we’re going to have to deal with Taehyung drinking too much again.” 

“I can take care of him,” Jimin snaps. 

Yoongi is thoroughly lost as he finally stands up, coming nearly chest-to-chest with Jungkook.

“Sorry,” Jungkook mumbles. 

“S’okay,” Yoongi responds, not quite minding the minimal distance between them. He’s felt the overwhelming desire to wrap his arms around Jungkook since he saw him. He knows that he and Jungkook briefly hugged, but Yoongi kind of still wants to be hugging him. He had not realized how much he missed Jungkook. “Not like we’ve never hugged before.” 

Jungkook nods, a smile on his face that doesn’t seem to reach his eyes. 

And, oh. 

Yoongi suddenly realizes exactly why things are feeling awkward between him and Jungkook.

Jungkook’s looking at him entirely differently than he had done in college. 

Yoongi, admittedly, is a fairly aloof person. He’s been doing better lately, trying to actively work on paying attention to more than just his music, because he was even worse when he was in college. 

Still, Yoongi’s been having dreams of Jungkook’s eyes for the last few weeks because they were always filled with stars when he was looking at Yoongi. Yoongi would have sworn that the entire galaxy existed inside of Jungkook’s large, brown eyes. He remembers, more than once, trying to sneak a glimpse of Jungkook’s eyes because they were so pretty. Yoongi thinks that he wrote maybe three songs just about the way that Jungkook looked so filled with love back then. 

Now there’s nothing inside them. 

And Yoongi doesn’t quite know how to process that. 

“Watch out, hyung,” Jimin squawks, clearly not reading Yoongi’s cues that he wants to stay right here with Jungkook. “You’re getting in the way of true love for Jungkook!” 

Yoongi once again feels an unpleasant twist in his stomach, though this time he thinks that he can tie it easily to the fact that Jungkook clearly feels uncomfortable around him. Yoongi doesn’t know that he would have ever described Jungkook as awkward or uncomfortable in his presence. In fact, he’d have said the opposite. From pretty much the day that they met until he disappeared, Jungkook had fit himself so easily into Yoongi’s everyday life. 

He doesn’t know how to act with Jungkook seeming so distant.

Of course, Yoongi shouldn’t expect everything to go back to normal like he had been daydreaming about for the past few weeks, not with the way that they went from seeing one another most days to not seeing each other for three years, but he can’t lie and say that he’s not disappointed with the coldness coming from Jungkook’s side. 

“I already told you that I don’t want it,” Jungkook mutters, but he’s so quiet that Yoongi thinks that he’s the only one who hears. “I just want to have fun with friends.” 

Yoongi’s eyes instinctively flick to where Taehyung’s hand is touching Jungkook’s lower back at the word ‘friends’. He wonders if Jungkook and Taehyung are really just friends. Logically, Yoongi knows that that shouldn’t matter to him, but he still cares about Jungkook. 

And he doesn’t know why, but there’s a sort of bitter feeling filling him at the thought of Taehyung and Jungkook dating. He’s never felt that sort of protectiveness fill him before, but he thinks that it must be a side effect of being Jungkook’s former best friend. Or maybe it’s the fact that Yoongi has always thought that Taehyung was kind of in love with Namjoon and/or Jimin and he doesn’t want Jungkook to be roped into that drama.

So he probably shouldn’t care if Taehyung and Jungkook are into one another, but he cares a lot. And he doesn’t feel entirely positive about the two of them.

“I don’t know what you said, but I can tell you’re muttering, Jungkook-ah,” Jimin says. “Come on! We can just dance for a while. You’re super hot so I don’t think that you’re going to have any trouble finding a man tonight- or a woman. You said that you’ve only ever had feelings for a man before, right?” 

Jungkook quickly looks at Yoongi once again and Yoongi wonders if he’s a bit embarrassed to talk about his crushes in front of Yoongi. Yoongi certainly doesn’t remember Jungkook ever talking about any crushes that he had when they were closer friends, so maybe Jungkook’s not big on talking about his feelings. 

“Yeah,” he says, looking like he’s trying to act normal, but not doing that great of a job at it. His voice comes out stilted and a bit awkward. “Just a guy, once. I haven’t really been looking for anyone since him, though. I’ve never thought about if it was just him or if I’m into men or men and women-” 

“That’s okay,” Hoseok says. “We all take time to find ourselves and who we like. Allow yourself some time.” 

Jungkook smiles at Hoseok again and Yoongi feels the bitterness creeping up his throat once again. Had Jungkook smiled at him even once tonight? Yoongi starts to reconsider everything about their friendship. He suddenly feels like Jungkook isn’t just being awkward with him, but feels more like Jungkook is upset with him. 

He’s not sure what to do, but he figures not moving out of the way so that Jungkook can enjoy his night with friends is the wrong move, so he shifts his body further back, allowing both Namjoon and Jimin to get out of the booth.

Jimin gives Namjoon a goodbye kiss that’s way too long for the fact that Jimin isn’t even leaving the building while Yoongi slides into the booth beside Seokjin. 

Yoongi grabs his drink and throws back the remainder of his whiskey. He usually gets his drinks on the rocks, preferring to sip and savor the sweetness, but the confusion swirling around his brain has him tossing his drink back like a shot. 

“Woah, there,” Seokjin says, watching the group of four head out to the dancefloor. 

Yoongi follows his gaze, relieved to see that Taehyung now has his arm slung over Jimin’s shoulder, rather than his hand placed delicately on Jungkook’s lower back. Though, now Yoongi is worried about what type of men will try to pick Jungkook up. 

Jimin wasn’t lying. Jungkook looks really good tonight. 

Yoongi hadn’t ever really put much thought into what Jungkook looked like. He’d always seen him as a good friend, but when Yoongi was in college, he wasn’t focused on relationships or hookups at all, so he never took the time to think about what traits he found attractive.

Even since he met Namjoon- and then Hoseok and Seokjin- and started frequenting these types of places more often, Yoongi doesn’t ever remember actively seeking out someone whom he was attracted to. He usually would just go home with whoever smelled the nicest. 

Though, thinking back, Yoongi can’t deny that all of his previous hook-ups had large eyes.

Yoongi knows the type of men who come to this bar and though he’s had his fair share of one-night stands with them, he’s suddenly fearful that someone might take advantage of Jungkook.

“So,” Seokjin says the second that Namjoon sits back down. “You never told us that you were in love with someone.” 

Yoongi blinks. In love ? 

“What?” 

“Jungkook,” Seokjin says, like it’s obvious. Which it is not because Yoongi’s never been in love. Let alone with his college best friend. “I’ve seen, like, two emotions out of you in the two years that we’ve known one another. But never jealousy.” 

“Jealousy?” 

Seokjin smirks. “You were glaring at Taehyung while he was whispering in Jungkook’s ear. And then you were glaring at me when I had an inside joke with him,” he says simply. “That’s called jealousy.” 

Yoongi blinks again. “That’s not-” 

“I have to agree,” Namjoon cuts in. “I mean, I don’t know that you were jealous , but it’s weird that you’ve never mentioned Jungkook when you were supposedly such close friends in college.” 

“He just never came up,” Yoongi says weakly.

Beside him, Seokjin hums and Yoongi feels kind of embarrassed.

It probably does seem weird to them that Yoongi never mentioned his life in college. But that doesn’t mean that he avoided talking about Jungkook because he’s in love with the boy. 

By the time that he started working for Big Hit and met Namjoon and all of Namjoon’s friends, Yoongi had already thought that he lost all hope of ever seeing Jungkook again. And thinking of his younger friend made Yoongi feel sad so it’s not something that he liked to do often. 

“I’m just saying,” Seokjin continues. “You definitely didn’t like how close him and Taehyung were being.” 

“And you should get used to it,” Namjoon adds. “They’re really touchy. Even Jimin has started to worry about it.” 

Seokjin rolls his eyes. It’s pretty obvious to everyone that Taehyung, Jimin, and Namjoon all have some sort of feelings for one another. Though Namjoon and Jimin seem to be too terrified of talking with one another about those feelings and Taehyung seems to be trying to repress those feelings. 

“It’s just-” Yoongi starts, wondering how he can describe the bitter feelings happening inside his chest without sounding like he’s jealous. “I guess Jungkookie and I only ever hung out together. Like, I don’t think either of us had other friends in college. So I don’t think that I’m used to his attention being on other people.” 

Seokjin bites his lip, looking like he’s about to say something that will hurt Yoongi’s feelings. Yoongi’s seen that look on his hyung’s face before, only before he delivers some unsavory truths that Yoongi never seems to like. 

“He didn’t really act like you guys were best friends,” he notes. “Like- Yoongi, he didn’t call you hyung and he looked scared.” 

Yoongi sighs. He knows that already, but he doesn’t understand why.

“I don’t know why,” Yoongi admits. “We accidentally lost contact. I mean, I guess that he could be upset that I missed his graduation, but I was busy with my interviews for Big Hit the week that he had his graduation. When I tried to call him, he was gone- phone number changed and everything. He just disappeared from the face of the Earth, it seemed.” 

Seokjin stares at him. “And you don’t know why?” 

Yoongi shakes his head. 

“I mean, I can understand being upset about you missing his graduation, but not enough to change my phone number,” Namjoon muses. “Did you have a habit of missing important things to him?” 

Seokjin snorts. “Clearly, he did.” 

Yoongi glares at Seokjin, wondering if he can convince Namjoon to go get him another drink, even though it’s only been maybe fifteen minutes since Yoongi got back from the bar with the drinks for himself, Taehyung, and Jungkook. 

“What do you mean with that ‘clearly’ bullshit?” Yoongi asks, fully offended. 

Seokjin stares at him once again, something almost annoyed in his stare. “Really?” 

“Yes, really,” Yoongi says back. “I spent tons of time with Jungkook- even when I was working at that shitty studio before I started working at Big Hit, and then one day he was just gone!” 

“Yoongi,” Seokjin says, voice now a bit gentler. “You didn’t know that he danced.” 

Yoongi frowns. He understands that he messed up there, with not remembering about it years later, but he did know about Jungkook being in the dance club.

“I misspoke,” Yoongi defends. “Jungkook invited me to his dance shows- or whatever they were called- when we were in college together.” 

“And you didn’t go to any of them,” Seokjin says decidedly. 

“You don’t know that,” Yoongi argues, even though he hadn’t gone to any of them. 

Seokjin, looking thoroughly done listening to Yoongi talk, rolls his eyes for probably the fiftieth time tonight. “I do know that. Because Jungkook has shown Hoseok and I the videos that his classmates took for him. And at the end of every performance, he was looking into the crowd. I didn’t know it while I was watching the video, but he was looking for you . The disappointment on his face was so obvious that he probably wasn’t even surprised when you didn’t show up to his graduation. He probably decided that he was done feeling unimportant to someone and quit talking to you.” 

“You’re being harsh,” Namjoon defends. “Hyung probably told Jungkookie that he was too busy to go-” 

“I didn’t,” Yoongi whispers. “I don’t think I ever told him that I wouldn’t be able to make it.” 

Seokjin slides around to get out of the same side of the booth that Taehyung and Jungkook had gotten out of. “Obviously he’s hurt, Yoongi. Jungkook’s never mentioned your name, only ever referred to someone from his college years who hurt him, but clearly, your experiences with one another were not the same.” 

Then, Seokjin moves through the crowd to get onto the dance floor with his boyfriend. 

“Wow, he’s pissed,” Yoongi comments. “He hates dancing more than I do.” 

Namjoon nods. “It makes sense. Hoseokie and Seokjinie-hyung have spent a lot of time taking care of Jungkook. He didn’t take care of himself well when he was in college, and then he moved back with his parents. So, they’re concerned that he works too much now. It’s why it’s kind of a good thing that Taehyung is basically in charge of Jungkook’s schedule. Though, apparently Jungkook tries to stay late in the office a lot.” 

“What?” Yoongi asks, confused. “Jungkook never cared about stuff like that. He was probably the first person to tell me that I was too focused on work. He’d always ask when I was going to make room for someone as important in my life as music is- oh.” 

Namjoon raises an eyebrow. “What?” 

“I think- I think Jungkook maybe liked me- in a romantic sense- when he was in college.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, I- Earlier, when Jungkook was talking to me, I realized that he was looking at me differently. I didn’t understand why it felt like something was off, but I remember that his eyes were always, like, shining when he was talking to me before,” Yoongi explains. “They were so- so dim earlier that I didn’t quite recognize him.” 

“Damn,” Namjoon says. “Imagine that.” 

And Yoongi does. 

He imagines Jungkook, barely twenty-one and in a new city, meeting Yoongi and falling in love with him. 

He remembers Jungkook, bright-eyed and so, so lovely, getting food for Yoongi and texting him to see if he’s okay, and always asking when Yoongi would be available to meet once again. 

He remembers Jungkook, twenty-three and stressed out over his degree, but never complaining about it because he was always asking Yoongi about his job, always willing to be that extra pair of ears that Yoongi needed when he wasn’t quite sure that he was doing a good enough job for someone else. 

He remembers Jungkook, twenty-four and just weeks away from graduating college, shyly telling Yoongi the date and time of the ceremony. Yoongi had congratulated Jungkook on finishing his degree, vaguely offered to go out for a meal, but he hadn’t read that as an invitation to Jungkook’s graduation, or that his response probably sounded like he wanted to treat the younger boy to a meal directly after the ceremony. 

Yoongi imagines this all through the lens of Jungkook having real, romantic feelings for him. 

And he feels absolutely awful. 

Nearly a week and a half later, Yoongi doesn’t quite have a plan, but he knows what he wants. He wants to mean something to Jungkook once again. He wants to see that sparkle in Jungkook’s eyes when he looks at Yoongi. He wants Jungkook to be comfortable and casual around him again.

He wants Jungkook . 

But it looks like Yoongi’s going to have to put in some real work to make that happen. 

Jungkook and Taehyung left the club over a week prior without so much as coming back to the table. They’d apparently been gone for over an hour before Jimin returned to the table whining to Namjoon about how they’d failed in finding the love of Jungkook’s life in the club. 

Yoongi was hurt, but he understood. He’d hurt Jungkook in the past and he was really going to have to apologize and make up for it now. 

He figured that it wouldn’t be too hard. After all, Namjoon invites Yoongi out with all of their friends at least three times per week, so he’d just have to wait for Namjoon’s normal invitation and then get Jungkook in a private enough area that he could beg for forgiveness. 

A perfect plan, so long as he could really prove to Jungkook that he’s sorry that his younger self was a self-absorbed jerk.

Except. Namjoon hasn’t invited Yoongi out in over a week. 

So, instead of finishing the song that he’s supposed to be working on right now, Yoongi stalks down to Namjoon’s studio and knocks loudly on the door. 

Namjoon opens it, head peeking out the doorway, looking confused. “Yoongi-hyung?” 

“Why haven’t you invited me out?” 

“What?” 

Yoongi huffs, confused about why Namjoon hasn’t opened the door any further. “Usually I can count on you in my studio every other day to try to convince me to go out with you and your boyfriend. But I haven’t heard from you in over a week .” 

Namjoon blinks. “We haven’t been out. Taehyung said that- We haven’t been out.” 

Yoongi narrows his eyes. He knows that whatever it is that Taehyung said must have been about Jungkook. Probably about Jungkook not ever wanting to see Yoongi again in his life. Yoongi just thought that he could at least trust Namjoon to tell things to him straight. 

“Fine,” Yoongi huffs. “But from now on when you invite me out, remember that this is why I say no.” 

“You would only say yes now because you know that Jungkook is there and you want to figure out how to get him to fall in love with you again,” Namjoon says. 

Yoongi glares at him once again. “There’s nothing wrong with missing him.” 

Namjoon shuffles awkwardly, leaning his head against the door frame. “Just- Yoongi-hyung, if you want him to look at you the way that he used to, you need to look at him that way, too.” 

“I know,” Yoongi says. 

“So, don’t run into this with the idea that you’re going to apologize and he’ll forgive you and that you’ll suddenly start dating. You’ll need to learn to fall in love with him, too. And not just love him being in love with you, because that’s not fair to him.” 

“Why are you calling me?”

“That’s a rude way to answer the phone, Kim Taehyung,” Yoongi says into the receiver. “To your hyung, no less.” 

Yoongi hears huffing on the other end of the line. He knows that Taehyung is upset with him. Yoongi doubts that Jungkook ever said anything negative about him to their friends, but apparently, he said enough about the boy who broke his heart to upset Kim Taehyung.

And, really, there’s no one more terrifying when they’re angry than Taehyung. 

“Well- maybe I don’t want to talk to you,” Taehyung finally says. 

“Then why did you answer the phone?” 

A pause. Then a sigh. “I know why you’re calling. And I think that because I am employed under Jungkook, it’s illegal to give you his phone number.” 

“I don’t need his phone number,” Yoongi says quickly. “Not until he wants me to have it. I just need ten minutes alone with him to beg for forgiveness.” 

Another pause. “So you know what you did, then? Why do you even care? Just because you have the same group of friends now?” 

“I didn’t know back then,” Yoongi insists, really hoping that he had been misreading the friendliness between Taehyung and Jungkook. He thinks that the only thing worse than confessing about his current, confusing feelings for Jungkook to Taehyung is confessing those current, confusing feelings to Taehyung if Taehyung also has romantic feelings for Jungkook. “I only just realized it the night that we met again. But, Taehyung- I tried to call him. I searched for him all over social media-” 

“He doesn’t have any,” Taehyung bites. “And, no offense, Yoongi-hyung, but you’re not making a good case for yourself right now. You mean to tell me that you were friends with him for four fucking years and you never bothered to ask him for his SNS handles?” 

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “When is the last time you saw me post on any of my socials, Taehyung? I don’t know my Twitter password so I haven’t logged into that since I got a new phone, my Instagram exists solely to be tagged in Namjoon’s posts because I have one post on there and it’s a picture of a tree, and I don’t even think I have the Facebook app downloaded on my phone-” 

“Do you mean to tell me that you still have the Twitter app downloaded even though you can’t get into it?” 

Yoongi sighs. “Taehyung, that’s not the point. The point is that I was young and dumb and didn’t realize that I had the most wonderful person who I’ve ever met right in front of me. And I realize it now and I don’t know how to deal with the fact that I let him go. I- Taehyung, if he really never wants to see me again, I’ll listen,” Yoongi says, and, in the moment, realizes that he absolutely means it. He hopes that Jungkook will give him a second chance at being friends, and maybe more than friends if he’s extremely lucky. However, Yoongi knows that he has a lot of things to apologize for and even more to prove if Jungkook is ever going to give him that kind of chance.

“I already wasn’t really coming out with you guys before, but I’ll make sure that I never do so that Jungkook can have fun with all of you,” Yoongi continues, desperate to prove that he’s serious about this. He’s never been interested in someone before and he can’t believe that he had Jungkook in the palm of his hand for four fucking years and still let him slip through his fingers. “I’ll stay in my own lane if that’s what he wants. I’ll be the one who disappears this time if he really, truly wants nothing to do with me. I didn’t know it before, but I know now that all I want is for Jungkook to be happy.” 

Taehyung sighs on the other end of the line. Yoongi knows that not only is this the most vulnerable that he’s ever been with Taehyung, but probably the most that he’s talked to anyone about how he’s feeling in years. 

He hasn’t really opened up about feeling tired and terrified that he’s not actually good at what he does and the overwhelming desire to just give up on things since… Well, not since the time that Jungkook found him nearly hyperventilating at his shitty first junior producer job and talked him through the feelings that he was having. 

Yoongi had been so embarrassed about breaking down in front of someone when he’s supposed to be stoic and strong that he’s fairly certain he never even thanked Jungkook for holding him close while he sobbed in the studio. 

“I messed up, Taehyung,” Yoongi says now. “But I won’t do it again. If you two are involved, or even if you aren’t and he just doesn’t want to see me-” 

“We’re not involved,” Taehyung says, voice still cautious. “You should know that I’ve been- well, I can’t say it right here right now, but I’m not involved with Jungkook.” 

“Okay,” Yoongi says. “I’m really sorry.” 

“I’ll let you in here for ten minutes, Yoongi-hyung,” Taehyung says, sighing. “But if he kicks you out-” 

“I’ll listen to him, I swear,” Yoongi quickly says, thankful that Taehyung is helping him get face-to-face with Jungkook again. “I just- I just want to be better.” 

Taehyung hums on the other end of the line. “It was nice to hear you talk about how you’re feeling, Yoongi-hyung. You should talk to us more often.” 

And Yoongi knows that Taehyung is probably right, but opening up doesn’t come easily to him. Spilling his heart to Jungkook, though, seems like it might be the easiest thing in the world for him. 

He hopes that it will be. And that maybe he can learn to lean on his friends more often.

“I’ll try,” Yoongi whispers. “And- thank you.” 

💔

Jungkook is thankful that his schedule is light today. It’s been nearly two weeks since he ran into Yoongi at the club with all of their mutual friends and Jungkook has not been handling it well.

He used to join Taehyung and Jimin and Namjoon for dinner a few times a week. The other nights, when Jimin and Namjoon wanted more privacy or when Taehyung was in a bit of a sour mood about spending time with the lovey-dovey couple, Jungkook would go to Seokjin and Hoseok’s apartment for dinner. 

He’d only known them for a few weeks, but he took an immediate liking to both Hoseok and Seokjin, and they apparently had decided that it was their job to take care of Jungkook now, and were constantly inviting him out for dinner or to see a movie or asking if they should coordinate their haircut appointments because “Your hair is getting long, Jungkook-ah, do you have a hairdresser in the area?” 

But now.

Jungkook hasn’t done anything except go to work and sleep. He hasn’t had the energy to go and he doesn’t quite feel like telling all of his new friends that Yoongi is the boy from his past who broke his heart without even knowing.

Though Jungkook has almost no doubt that everyone already knows . He talked about the one boy in college who was his only friend and who he had been in love with for years and who was way too focused on work to think about having a romantic relationship ever and how he disappeared from that person’s life because he couldn’t handle it any longer. 

Then Yoongi had to go and be Namjoon’s best friend who is obsessed with work and has no problem talking about how he hasn’t seen Jungkook in years and “Oh, yeah, this is my best friend from college.” 

So, now Jungkook is embarrassed. 

How can he go eat dinner at Hoseok and Seokjin’s apartment when he accidentally spilled all of the tea on his past friendship with Yoongi? How can he face them when he proved just how pathetic he was before? How he fell in love with someone who couldn’t have cared less? 

How can he go and get dinner with Namjoon and Jimin? When Taehyung makes jokes about how Jungkook got so messed up by the person who hurt him in college that he has an unhealthy relationship with work now? How can he see them when Namjoon now knows that the person who made Jungkook think that he had to only pay attention to work was Yoongi? 

He can’t. 

So he hasn’t.

Of course, that hasn’t stopped Taehyung and Jimin and Seokjin and Hoseok from asking. Jungkook just can’t bring himself to say yes, terrified that they’ll have questions and try to convince him that he overreacted by moving back home and changing his phone number without ever telling Yoongi. Worried that they’ll tell Jungkook that he can’t hang out with them anymore if he doesn’t want to be around Yoongi. 

“Jungkook-ah,” Taehyung says, knocking on the already open door. “You have one more meeting before you’re done for the day.” 

Jungkook blinks, looking at the clock. It’s nearing the end of his workday and Taehyung usually doesn’t schedule him anything within half an hour of the end of his day. 

“Really? I didn’t see an invite for it on my calendar,” Jungkook mutters. Jungkook usually spends the first half an hour of his day accepting calendar invites from his hyung, so it’s weird for him to have a meeting that Taehyung hasn’t already added to his calendar. 

Taehyung nods. “It was, um, last minute.” 

Jungkook sighs. He had already mentally clocked out for the day, but he supposes that he’s a salaried employee so he should expect to work more than what he’s scheduled, but right now it just seems too hard. 

Still, Jungkook puts on his most friendly smile and says, “Alright. Where do I need to go for this one?” 

“It’s right here,” Taehyung says, looking nervous. “I figured, um, your office would be the best place for it to happen.” 

“Okay,” Jungkook says, though he feels like it comes out more like a question. “Send them in then, please.”

“Right,” Taehyung says, looking off to his left, still standing in the doorway. “Just, um. Can you make sure to listen to them?” 

Jungkook raises an eyebrow. He wouldn’t say that he’s usually aloof during his meetings. He takes his job very seriously and he listens to every last word that his co-workers have to say to him. “Of course.” 

“Okay, then,” Taehyung says. “I’ll send him in.” 

Then Min Yoongi walks into his office and shuts the door.

“Jungkook-ah,” Yoongi says in greeting, taking a seat in the chair across from him. 

And Jungkook doesn’t think that he can do this. Yoongi didn’t do anything to make Jungkook fall head over heels for him the first time, so Jungkook thinks that a Min Yoongi who actively seeks him out and talks to him and comes to his office to be able to see him is someone that Jungkook would undoubtedly fall in love with.

And Jungkook can’t fall in love with Min Yoongi again. 

Jungkook can’t go through the years of pining and trying to get any indication that he means something to Yoongi again. He can’t stand on the sidelines while Yoongi lives his life and Jungkook has no part in it. He can’t go to sleep wondering if Yoongi will find him annoying for texting him again because he must because he never texts Jungkook first.

Jungkook can’t do that. 

“Yoongi-hyung,” Jungkook says, startled. 

Yoongi smiles. “You didn’t call me hyung at the club the other week,” he says. “I think that I was so shocked to see you that it threw me off, but not enough to think about why. I was just- I was excited to see you, I guess.” 

“You were?” Jungkook asks, knowing that his voice is soft. Far too soft for someone who is supposed to not care about Min Yoongi after all of these years. 

Maybe it’s because he’s so thrown off by Yoongi being in front of him, thrown off by Yoongi talking to him. And maybe it seems different because it’s not in the loud space of the club where they had previously met. Or maybe it’s because part of Jungkook already sort of accepted that if he wants to continue to be in the group of friends that he’s in- which he does, so badly- then Yoongi will likely just be a part of his life, but Jungkook doesn’t feel quite like he needs to kick Yoongi out. 

He’s terrified of letting Yoongi back in, yes, and he doesn’t quite feel like he’ll be ready to spend an extended amount of time with Yoongi for a long time, but he knows that he should be cordial.

And, unfortunately, deep down in Jungkook’s ribcage, his heart longs for him to be near Yoongi.

Jungkook knows that it’s been years. Knows that he shouldn’t want to be close to Yoongi because he doesn’t mean anything to the elder boy.

Unfortunately, there’s something about Min Yoongi that will maybe always have a part of Jungkook’s heart in an inescapable place. That portion of his heart is apparently like the escape room that Jimin and Taehyung forced him to go to before the club incident happened. Which would maybe be fine if Jungkook were any bit good at completing escape rooms, but he was no help to his two friends and they didn’t even make it to the final puzzle because Jungkook was so focused on the colors of one of the puzzles that he didn’t realize he should have been using a decoder for it. 

“Jungkook-ah, of course I was,” Yoongi says. And his voice sounds a bit desperate. A bit like he knows that Jungkook is upset with him- which he should , because Jungkook made it very clear at the club, and since the club, that he didn’t want to talk to Yoongi. “I- There’s a lot of things that I regret in my life.” 

Jungkook raises an eyebrow. That’s surprising to him. Besides one time when he found Yoongi on the brink of tears at his job, Jungkook doesn’t ever remember Yoongi to be someone with fears and regrets. 

He always put on a confident and brave face. He referred to himself as Min Genius, like he had something to prove. Jungkook wonders now if Yoongi was truly just trying to fake it until he made it. Maybe Jungkook doesn’t know Yoongi at all. 

And that’s possibly more terrifying than knowing everything about him. 

“But my biggest regret is what I did to you,” Yoongi continues, head bowed in apology, or maybe it’s bowed in shame. It’s kind of hard to tell. “I was so wrapped up in myself in college that I took you for granted. Which is crazy because you’re so good and kind and an incredible person- I didn’t go to your dance recitals and I didn’t come to your graduation and it took me way too long to figure out that you weren’t in the city any longer-” 

“You found out?” 

Yoongi looks at Jungkook now, eyes filled with what looks like genuine sorrow. Yoongi has always been so easy to read when he actually does show emotion, his eyes betraying every emotion that he feels. 

It’s how Jungkook knew that Yoongi never had the same feelings for him. 

“I- I missed you so much, Jungkook,” Yoongi admits, voice quieter now than Jungkook thinks that he has ever heard it. “I realized that you were gone and I tried to call you. I tried to find you on social media and even asked around to see if anyone knew where you were, but you were just gone.” 

“I waited almost three weeks to change my number,” Jungkook says, still feeling incredibly hurt by Yoongi. Had he not noticed Jungkook’s absence for three whole weeks? 

Yoongi sighs. “I have no excuses. I was so stressed out interviewing for Big Hit around that time, but that doesn’t matter. I should have been paying more attention to you. Should have been telling you and showing you how much you meant to me- how much you mean to me.” 

Jungkook blanches. He can’t possibly mean anything to Yoongi now. 

“We haven’t seen each other in years-” 

“I know,” Yoongi cuts him off. “I know. But Jungkook, when Namjoon-ah came around and started talking about Taehyung’s new boss named Jungkook, I went searching again. I hoped that maybe you got a social media account so that I could somehow send you a message. I wanted to get back into touch with you so badly.” 

“Really?” Jungkook asks, heart feeling strange. Jungkook knows that he should cut this conversation short now. He knows that he shouldn’t allow Yoongi to keep talking to him and making him feel like he matters. 

Even if Yoongi wants to be friends with him- even if Yoongi is a person who is now more adept at reading other people’s feelings than he was before- Jungkook isn’t sure that he’ll be able to stop his heart from running head-first after Yoongi. 

He’s scared. 

“Yes,” Yoongi stresses. “I was dreaming of you and missing you and I thought that there was very little I wouldn’t do to get you back into my life.” 

“What if I don’t want it?” Jungkook asks. He can’t verify that Yoongi knows that he had feelings for him in college. Jungkook actually hopes that Yoongi doesn’t know about his romantic feelings.

Yoongi stares at him for a moment. “Then I’ll leave right now.” 

“Really?” 

Yoongi nods. “It feels like when we were in college, we did everything on my terms. This time, if you’ll let me back into your life, I want it all to be on your terms.” 

Jungkook… Well, Jungkook is actually really fucking relieved to hear that. 

He knows that, even now, Yoongi is still someone obsessed with work. He knows from Taehyung that Yoongi still doesn’t open up about how he’s feeling unless it’s to Namjoon- which, even then, it seems to Jungkook like Yoongi talking about his feelings was not entirely his decision. He knows from his four years of being planted by Yoongi’s side that Yoongi hates being vulnerable with people, and hates letting other people take control.

So to hear that Yoongi is willing to let their entire friendship be on Jungkook’s terms? 

Well, Jungkook thinks that it shows a lot of positive growth on Yoongi’s part. 

“All on my terms?” Jungkook repeats, wanting so badly to believe Yoongi but worried that he’s going to get wrapped up in Yoongi’s charm once again. Well, his very specific brand of charm that apparently only appeals to Jungkook’s weak heart. “So, anything I decide- that’s what we can be?” 

Yoongi nods, looking nervous. “I really hope that you can forgive me for how I acted years ago. I know that I was wrong and insensitive and not a good friend to you,” Yoongi apologizes. “And I’m so fucking sorry and wish that I could redo it all, but I can’t. So I will understand if you tell me to leave. And I won’t bother you again.”

“I- Yoongi-hyung, it’s going to be a lot harder than just forgiving you,” Jungkook says. “I really looked up to you when we were in college. I thought that you were this cool and smart, hard-working guy. And you are all of those things, but for a really long time I felt like I was in a one-sided friendship.” 

“I know,” Yoongi says. “I didn’t know it before. I didn’t know it until I did some heavy reflecting on what I was like in the past, but Jungkook, please. Please let me into your life and I won’t ever make you regret it again.” 

Jungkook stares at Yoongi, weighing his options. 

He knows that the elder boy is being sincere. He knows that Yoongi genuinely is sorry and it seems like Yoongi actually wants Jungkook back in his life. If he hadn’t, it would have been really easy to ignore Jungkook again, especially since Yoongi wasn’t keen on going out in the first place. 

But still. There’s a reason that Jungkook wouldn’t even let himself think of Yoongi’s name for the last three years. He wouldn’t let himself relive the nice memories from when Yoongi would take him out to eat or when he would ask Jungkook to be the first person to listen to his song or when Jungkook would be at Yoongi’s apartment late into the night and Yoongi would say, “It’s late, Kook-ah. You can just sleep in hyung’s bed tonight.” 

Jungkook thinks that if he was in love with that version of Yoongi, there’s no doubt in his mind that he’ll fall deeply for this new, upgraded version. 

Jungkook wants Yoongi back in his life, but he knows that he’ll have to tread carefully. 

“Okay,” Jungkook says. “I want to forgive you.” 

“Really?” Yoongi asks, eyes bright and hopeful. “I’m so fucking relieved to hear that. Jungkook, I promise that you’re not going to regret-” 

“But I don’t think I’m ready yet.” 

“Oh,” Yoongi says, deflating. “Okay. Um, not to, like, put pressure on you or anything. But do you know when you will be ready?” 

Jungkook hums. Genuinely, he’s not sure. He thinks that maybe exposure therapy is the best way to get back into Yoongi’s life. He spent four years around Yoongi and he never slipped up. He never asked Yoongi out or tried to kiss him or even let himself be fully relaxed around the elder just in case . 

“How about- How about you give me your phone number?” Jungkook suggests.

“Mine?” 

Jungkook nods. “I don’t know when I’ll be ready to hang out with you one on one again. I had a lot of shit that I needed to work through after college and I guess that I haven’t worked through it all yet. Otherwise, I’d either feel comfortable enough to forgive you right now or to tell you to fuck off.” 

“I’m grateful that you didn’t tell me to fuck off,” Yoongi whispers. 

Jungkook sighs. He might be upset with Yoongi still, but he cares about him so, so fucking much that he hates being the reason that Yoongi is sad. He hates thinking that he’s giving Yoongi a hard time. 

But Jungkook is doing this to protect himself. He’s not fully worked through all of his emotional issues, but Jungkook loves himself enough to know that he can’t put himself into a situation that’s emotionally uncomfortable. He’s doing what he needs to do to protect his heart, so he thinks that he can forgive himself for hurting Yoongi a little. 

“Me too,” Jungkook admits. “I know I was cold when we first saw each other again, but I really missed you all of these years that I was living in Busan again.” 

“I missed you, too,” Yoongi admits. “I tried not to think about you because I knew that you were gone and I probably wasn’t going to see you again, but I still really fucking missed you.”

“I’ll take your phone number, then,” Jungkook says, pulling his phone out of his bag and handing it to Yoongi to add his contact to. “And I’ll reach out when I’m ready.”

Yoongi takes a minute to put in his phone number. Jungkook thinks that he’s maybe trying to think of a non-awkward way to end this conversation, but Jungkook’s basically been trying to do that the entire time that Yoongi’s been in his office and he hasn’t figured anything out, so he doubts that Yoongi has. 

Jungkook uses the silence with Yoongi staring at his phone to take in Yoongi’s features. He’s definitely aged, though Jungkook thinks that thirty-one looks better on Yoongi than twenty-seven had looked. Yoongi looks much less tired than the last time that Jungkook had seen him and Jungkook briefly wonders if it has to do with Yoongi getting a new job.

Yoongi had taken the first junior producer job that he’d been offered out of college, but it was for a small, independent record label that kind of treated its employees like shit because there was barely any money to functionally run the studio. When Yoongi worked there, he’d looked tired all of the time, the bags under Yoongi’s eyes seeming permanent to Jungkook, who just wished that he could do something to make Yoongi feel better. 

Jungkook knows that Yoongi now works at the same company that Hoseok and Namjoon both work at, which is definitely a bigger company and seems to treat their employees at least decently, and Yoongi looks much, much less tired so Jungkook thinks that he must be happier in his job. 

Jungkook had secretly looked up Yoongi’s name on the internet the night that they met. He wanted to see if all of Yoongi’s dreams came true. Because even if Jungkook had never been a part of Yoongi’s plans for the future, he couldn’t hate Yoongi for it. He still wanted Yoongi to achieve all of his lifelong goals. Jungkook had been pleasantly surprised to see that Yoongi was not only on multiple platinum records, but that he was also one of the first Korean producers ever to be on a song that was nominated for a Grammy.

His hair is also longer now. Yoongi had dyed his hair so many different colors when they were in college, saying that he needed some way besides music to express himself. Jungkook remembers pink and mint green and, his personal favorite, honey blonde. Now, it’s natural and black and long and curly at the end and Jungkook feels the desire to twist Yoongi’s ends in between his fingers and help wash Yoongi’s hair. 

His features are all older, yes, but Jungkook still thinks that he’s never seen someone better looking than Min Yoongi.

“Here,” Yoongi says, startling Jungkook and handing back his phone. “I’ll be waiting for your call.” 

“Thanks,” Jungkook responds, throat dry. “It was, um- Hyung, it was nice to see you again. I was surprised at the club and I didn’t really talk to you-” 

“I get it,” Yoongi says, a sad smile on his face. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. I- I don’t think I would have been as nice to me as you’re being right now.” 

And Jungkook knows that that’s a lie because Yoongi is intentionally nice to people. He’s unintentionally aloof and broke Jungkook’s heart by accident, but Jungkook knows that he’s going to forgive Yoongi in no time because he never would have intentionally hurt Jungkook. Or anyone else. 

“Right,” Jungkook says. “Um-” 

“I’ll go now,” Yoongi says. “I definitely took up more than the allotted ten minutes that I was given from Taehyung. I’m surprised that he hasn’t busted down your door yet, to be honest. He was really hesitant to let me come here in the first place.” 

Jungkook feels his face getting warm. He’s really happy that he’s become friends with Kim Taehyung. Happy to have someone on his side and know that they’ll always be there for him. “Ah, he’s just protective,” Jungkook mutters. “He’s the first friend I’ve had since- in a while.” 

“Good,” Yoongi says, finally standing up from his chair. “You deserve to have good people around you, Jungkook. I’m glad that you have someone as wonderful as Taehyung in your corner.” 

Then Yoongi leaves. 

Taehyung rounds the corner immediately. Jungkook doesn’t think that he was close enough to hear anything that Jungkook and Yoongi were talking about, but definitely close enough to be able to get Yoongi out of the room if things got loud. 

“Wanna get a drink?” Taehyung asks. 

Jungkook narrows his eyes, slightly peeved that Taehyung had let Yoongi come into the office, but he supposes that it was overall something good since Yoongi genuinely seemed apologetic and Jungkook doesn’t think that he would have given Yoongi the time of day otherwise. If they met up again while out at a bar or dinner, Jungkook knows that he would have made some kind of excuse to get out of the event early. 

“Yes,” Jungkook sighs. 

“Want me to text Seokjinie-hyung and Hoseokie-hyung to come?” Taehyung asks. “They’ve been texting me about you a lot because you haven’t been over in a while.” 

Jungkook nods. He’d love to see Seokjin and Hoseok right now since they’re two people who he’s super comfortable around. 

He also loves that Taehyung can read him so well. Loves that Taehyung knows that Jungkook wants to talk about his feelings but might not feel like opening up to just Taehyung right now since he was just betrayed a little bit by him.

“Let’s go,” Taehyung says, looking at his phone, which must have already been opened to a chat with either Seokjin or Hoseok. “We’re meeting at a bar near their place.” 

Jungkook doesn’t bother to pack his laptop or any of his work, knowing that he’ll be coming into the office tomorrow and will definitely be unable to focus on anything tonight at home. 

Half an hour later, Jungkook is sipping on a beer at a high-top table while his three friends stare at him. 

“Want to talk about it?” Seokjin asks, sipping on his own beer. “Because we’ve all known that something was up between you and Yoongi since the night at the club.” 

Jungkook groans. He had figured that their friends could probably work out what was happening, but he doesn’t think that means that he has to be happy about it. 

“I just- Yoongi-hyung seems really sorry,” Jungkook mutters, staring into his beer to avoid having to make eye contact with any of his friends. “I don’t think that I’ve ever seen him not be confident in himself. And I could tell that he was sincerely afraid that I might not ever talk to him again.” 

The rest of the table is silent for an uncomfortable amount of time, so Jungkook looks up. All three of his friends are staring at him. 

“You know that you don’t have to forgive him even if he is truly sorry about whatever it is that happened between the two of you,” Hoseok says when Jungkook finally makes eye contact with him. 

Jungkook nods. He does know that he doesn’t have to forgive Yoongi if he feels uncomfortable being around him. 

But the thing is that Jungkook really wants to forgive his hyung. 

“What did happen?” Taehyung asks. “I know that he’s the guy who broke your heart-” 

“He didn’t do it on purpose, though,” Jungkook insists, defending Yoongi. “He was focused on his music and I can’t ever blame him for that. But he missed a lot of things that were important to me. And I know that I wouldn’t have been upset if someone who I just liked as a friend missed those things, so I don’t think it’s fair to hold him to the standard that I was holding him to.” 

“What do you mean?” Seokjin asks. 

Jungkook sighs. “I was holding him to boyfriend standards because that’s what I wanted him to be for me. But he never gave me the suggestion that he was interested in me as more than friends. Because he wasn’t. He still isn’t, which is why I’m actually confused why he’s so sorry.” 

Taehyung tilts his head, clearly confused.

“I just mean,” Jungkook explains. “He’s apologizing a lot and saying that he understands where I’m coming from, but it shouldn’t seem like such a big deal to him because we were only ever just friends.” 

Seokjin snorts. “You think that he likes you as a friend?” 

Jungkook nods. He knows that he was vague before, saying that someone broke his heart because they loved music more than him, but he never made it clear that the person wasn’t ever his boyfriend or anything like that. 

“Of course,” Jungkook says like it’s obvious. “You heard him at the club. We were best friends in college.” 

“Yeah, I heard him,” Seokjin says. “But I also saw him .” 

“What do you mean?” 

Seokjin rolls his eyes. “He was absolutely glaring at Taehyung because he thought that you two were together.” 

“What? There’s no way-” 

“He was,” Seokjin insists. “I even asked him about it after you went to dance. He denied it, of course, because-” 

“Because it’s not true,” Jungkook insists, feeling his face get warm. He shouldn’t be blushing at the idea of Yoongi liking him. Of course, in college, Jungkook would have lain in bed, red all over and kicking like a schoolgirl at the thought, but now, it’s not even something in the realm of possibility to think about, because there’s even less of a chance than there had been when he was in school. “There’s no way that he would ever feel that way about, well, anyone. He’s still as in love with music as he was in school.” 

Hoseok sighs. “That is true. Even him coming to the club the other week was really out of character for him. He usually declines our invites out because he always wants to be in the studio.” 

“See?” Jungkook says. “I don’t know how long you’ve known Yoongi, but I know him really well. He’s never going to date or marry or anything like that. His first love was the piano and I think the sound board will be his last love.” 

The group is quiet for a moment more before Taehyung hesitantly says, “If you think that he’s the same person, then why do you want to be friends with him again?” 

Jungkook shrugs. Truthfully, he doesn’t know why he wants to be friends with Yoongi again. Jungkook remembers hearing once that doing something over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. 

But Jungkook supposes that he can’t be insane if he’s not expecting Yoongi to fall in love back this time. But, still, expecting Jungkook’s own feelings to end up differently is probably a high expectation that can’t be met, so the jury is still out on if Jungkook can plead insanity in the case of Jeon Jungkook vs. his feelings for Min Yoongi. 

“I- I want to forgive him because, even after all of these years, I still care for him. There’s so much about him that is just good and kind and I really care about him,” Jungkook says, sighing. “It’s why I’m scared. If I let him back in my life, I’m afraid that I’ll fall in love with him once again, and I don’t think that I can handle it.” 

Seokjin nods. “It’s hard to be in love with someone who is your friend. Especially someone who you don’t think will ever feel the same way.” 

“Tell me about it,” Taehyung says, suddenly chugging the rest of his beer and calling out for another round. “I’ve been there forever.” 

“With Namjoonie?” Seokjin asks. 

“What are you talking about, hyung?” Hoseok asks. “Clearly it’s Jimin.” 

Jungkook snorts. “Not to air out Taehyungie-hyung’s business, but isn’t it both of them?” 

Taehyung’s head whips toward Jungkook, eyes wide. “How do you know that?”

“I was in a one-sided love for four years, Taehyungie-hyung. I know what it looks like. You look at both of them like they’re the sun and the moon and you can’t stop yourself from being in love with them.” 

“That’s how it feels,” Taehyung sighs. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Seokjin offers gently. “That’s a big thing to keep to yourself for... however long you kept it to yourself.” 

Taehyung shrugs, accepting his new beer from the waitress. “I’ve kept it in for a long time, yeah. But it’s not like anything is ever going to change, so what’s the use talking about it?” 

“It might make you feel better, hyung,” Jungkook says quietly. “Like this whole thing with Yoongi-hyung right now- I don’t even know what I want to do, but talking about it with you three has made me feel at least a little better.” 

“You still don’t know what to do?” Seokjin asks. “After you gave him your phone number?” 

“I took his phone number,” Jungkook corrects. “Those are very different things. And, anyway, we’re talking about Taehyungie-hyung now.” 

Seokjin rolls his eyes, but turns his glance back toward Taehyung so Jungkook considers the conversation about Yoongi to be over and done with. 

Which is good because Jungkook has already thought about Yoongi more times in the last two or so weeks than he has in the three yeast prior, so he thinks that he should shut off all of his thoughts about Yoongi once again. At least for a few days.

And there’s no better way to get all thoughts, ideas, and ideal scenarios of Min Yoongi out of his head than to listen to Taehyung talk about his unrequited love(s). 

“I guess,” Taehyung starts. “I’ve been in love with Jimin for a really long time. We started working together, like, on the same day. We were in the same orientation and everything. Immediately, we hit it off. We’ve always been thick as thieves and I was so happy to have him around me as a friend.” 

“When did it turn romantic?” Hoseok softly prompts. 

Taehyung sighs and Jungkook feels for him. He knows that, for himself, falling in love with Min Yoongi was instant and surprising and Jungkook hadn’t even considered what his sexuality might be before meeting Yoongi because Jungkook had never had a crush on another human being in his life. Liking Yoongi was sudden and scary and Jungkook has a feeling that Taehyung’s feelings for Jimin came about in a similar fashion. 

“I think that I was always in love with him,” Taehyung continues. “And I almost always knew about it, but much like with Jungkookie and Yoongi-hyung, it’s always been pretty clear that Jimin wasn’t interested in me back. We’d go out to clubs often and Jimin would always leave with some random hookup, talking about how he didn’t think that he’d ever settle down and that our early twenties were meant to be for us to go around and sleep with random people.” 

“Did you ever?” 

“No,” Taehyung says, curtly. “I- I don’t think that I’ve ever told anyone about this.” 

“About what, hyung?” 

Taehyung takes a deep breath, looking carefully around the table. “I’m asexual. I’ve known it since I was in high school, though I don’t think I really came to accept myself until I was in college. I- I’ve tried to sleep with people but it was always uncomfortable. The thought of other people touching me made my skin crawl so uncomfortably that I would have to drink a little just to make it feel okay -” 

“Taehyung,” Hoseok says, leaning over to grab Taehyung’s shoulder since Taehyung is visibly shaking. “I’m so sorry that you had to go through that-” 

“It’s fine ,” Taehyung insists, though Jungkook thinks it is not fine and Taehyung is shaking a bit too much for his liking. “I’m good with who I am now and I would never force myself to have sex again with someone, but-” 

“It’s a big reason you never confessed to Jimin?” Seokjin suggests.

Taehyung laughs, though there’s no humor in his voice. “I wasn’t planning to confess to him ever, regardless of the asexual thing, but I- he met Namjoon.” 

“Oh.” 

“We went out that night and I was the one talking to Namjoon, you know?” Taehyung explains. Seokjin and Hoseok look shocked by this news, so Jungkook can only assume that they didn’t know about that piece of the story. Jungkook isn’t too surprised by that because it seems like they sent Namjoon off on his own to find love, unlike the way that Jimin stayed close to Jungkook the entire night at the club on his and Namjoon’s one-year anniversary. 

“He came up to me and he didn’t hit on me with, like, a pickup line or anything. Instead, he complimented my shirt because the back had a reference to an artist that we both like. We spent a really long time talking and I thought that things were going well…” 

“And then?” 

“I mean, you can probably guess what happens next, since Jimin and Namjoon can’t be apart for more than twelve hours at this point,” Taehyung says, sounding bitter. 

“It was the first time since meeting Jimin that I thought that I had found someone else that I could maybe have a crush on. He was so nice and sweet and we were getting along and then Jimin busted into our conversation, pretty tipsy since he was leaning all over me when he came up to us,” he continues and Jungkook can feel his heart breaking for his friend since the story clearly ends up with Jimin and Namjoon together. “ They started talking and I went to get another drink. I couldn’t find them the rest of the night.” 

Seokjin actually gasps, apparently unaware of what actually went down the night of their sixth anniversary. “I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Taehyung says dismissively. “I got a call the next morning from Jimin and he was talking about the most amazing sex of his life and how he knew that he was going to marry this dude- he didn’t even have to tell me the name for me to know that it was Namjoon.” 

When Taehyung is done speaking, the air surrounding the table is eerily quiet. Jungkook knows that this isn’t a casual meet-up with his friends and has been more to talk about the issues that Jungkook and Taehyung are facing, but this is the quietest Jungkook thinks that this entire group has ever been. 

Hoseok looks downright angry, probably wondering (much like Jungkook is) how Namjoon and Jimin could do that to Taehyung, when Taehyung had been clearly flirting with Namjoon before he and Jimin met. 

Seokjin looks sad for Taehyung, which makes sense. Jungkook became so close to Seokjin because he can be fun and loud and playful with him, but also because he’s one of the most empathetic people who Jungkook has ever interacted with. Seokjin can read people’s emotions well and he usually knows exactly what to do to make someone feel better. 

Jungkook doesn’t like that Seokjin looks as lost as Jungkook feels right now. 

“That,” Seokjin starts, seeming to have no comforting words for Taehyung, which makes Jungkook feel anxious and wish that he was better with words. Wish that he could ease a bit of the burden of being the comforting one off of Seokjin. “Taehyung-ah, that really sucks. I’m so sorry that happened to you.” 

“I’ll get over it,” Taehyung says, shrugging. “Probably someday.” 

Jungkook wants to comfort Taehyung and wants to say that it’s entirely possible for him to get over the unrequited feelings that he’s had for years. But then Jungkook remembers how his thoughts of Yoongi haven’t quieted in two weeks, and Jungkook knows that he can’t lie to his best friend.