Work Text:
Dear Alexander,
First I would like to start off by saying that what happened to you was wrong. I know that now… you'll never get a chance to read this which may be a small mercy to me. Although my guilt may be all consuming,upon reflection I would commit to the same actions that led to both of our downfalls. How did our story end like this?
I've always thought that the people we meet shape our journey throughout life. I wonder if you had any ideas about how our lives would shift the moment our lives crossed. If I had been more firm in the resolve to protect myself and my friends from you would the result have been the same or worse. The dread of What if’s floods my mind sometimes when I try to sleep. I believe these letters are a way to make up and absolve myself from the sin of regret.
Alex you were my friend, despite how I wish that you weren’t. I protected myself well through the years leading up to our friendship that formed. I have discussed it with the people that we both considered friends, they tell me that our friendship was born out of the necessity to keep the peace. While I will outwardly agree with this assessment I believe that something deeper took place as at one point I did truly see you as a close and trusted friend. Oh how foolish I was, but all of us were young and naive, too blind to think critically about our relationships with each other and how they impacted everyone.
For so long I simply blamed you for all the events that happened, never giving thought to my own actions that were faulty and led to decisions that pointed everyone on this pathway to demise. Time has weathered the bulk of the guilt away and in its place remains a calm and collected recollection of events that have long since passed us up. Perhaps writing it down prevents us from passing on the misfortune of our actions to a new generation. Perhaps they can yield a better outcome of events if history is determined to repeat itself.
Lastly I will say goodbye to you, for I have held onto your ghost of memories and decisions that still affect the relationship that I have to the world and others. I believe the saying is ‘let dead things rest’ and so that's what I shall do. I will let your ideals rest in the past where they belong and step into the future by myself, free to choose my destiny without your influence. With this letter I can finally release myself and you from the scrutiny that is my own morals and judgment.
Your Obedient Servant,
Burr