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Bucky’s falling. It’s always the same, every damn time. He’s falling and he can see Steve on the train, watching him fall, trying to grab him, but it’s never enough. Steve’s hand never reaches him, so Bucky goes down and down and down, screaming, crying. Until he collapses in the snow, cold and soft, way too soft, it wasn’t this soft. He opens his eyes, he’s sweating and freezing. He cannot sleep in this mattress, he hates it. The ground wasn’t soft, the snow wasn’t soft, this bed shouldn´t be soft either.
***
Riley’s falling again. Always going down. Sam’s flying, Riley’s falling. Sam’s traying to catch him, Riley’s falling. Sam shouts and curses and tries desperately to get hold of Riley. But Riley plunges into the darkness, every time. And Sam wakes up calling his name, howling even, and the room is never as dark as it should be.
***
Bucky’s falling again. He can see the train becoming smaller and Steve fighting Hydra. But it’s not a train and it’s not Steve. It’s a plane and Sam’s wearing the new Captain suit Bucky had got specially for him. And so many people are grabbing him and hitting him, and Buck should be right there, helping him, defending him, fucking killing every one person that dares to lay a finger on his Sam. Yet he’s here, falling. Again. The plane becomes smaller and blurrier and Buck closes his eyes and he can feel the tears coming out of them. Maybe this is his last fall. After a lifetime of going down, this is the final one.
“NO! Not this time, not on my watch!”
Sam curses as he grabs hold of the man falling, tightening his arms around Bucky. They barrel, and Sam’s grateful for Wakandan technology, so fucking advanced he can feel the suit actually helping him, if that makes any sense. Not that anything makes any sense at the moment.
They finally land. It’s not graceful, but they’re both alive. Sam’s still holding Bucky firmly, he doesn’t want to let go, he’s never letting go, he’ll just stay here, in this embrace, forever. Bucky’s not moving either, his hands still clutching Sam’s sides, his head down, his face hidden against Sam’s neck. He’s shivering softly, and Sam can feel Bucky’s tears on his own skin. “Hey, hey,” he whispers. “You’re never falling on my watch again, ok? Never. And if you do, I’ll fucking catch you, every fucking time. I swear, Buck, I’ll always be there to catch you.”