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There are moments when your whole life flashes by.
As a Shinobi, these moments either happen frequently or only once. And then you’re dead.
So far, you’ve been lucky, always coming back from your missions to share a drink with your friends - you might have had to postpone that drink once or twice until you were able to walk on your own, but that’s neither here nor there.
This time, however, might be different.
-
A black and red coat moves in the wind. There’s that usual tingle rushing over your skin. Your teammates might be better at Ninjutsu than you, but their mediocre Genjutsu skills will be no match for the Genjutsu you expect to hit any moment.
But, don’t Akatsuki members usually travel in pairs?
You jump back, a giant sword splitting the ground where you stood just a moment ago.
“You’re fast.” A gravely voice calls out. Are you imagining that or is there laughter in his voice? “I like that.”
You charge, call out for your teammates even though you’re not the team leader. Which is a bunch of bullshit, because said team lead is already long gone, eyes glazed over as he’s caught in a Genjutsu.
“Scramble.” You yell to the other remaining member. “Don’t let him catch you in a Genjutsu.”
You don’t get another word out after that, too busy to deflect each stroke of the massive sword the guy in front of you is wielding.
He’s got a good arm, a better aim, and an almost manic grin on his face.
“You’re holding up good.” He declares, cocks his head to the side as he slides back. “You into Taijutsu?”
You huff as you slide back, use the short break to unseal a bigger weapon. “Cool sword you have there.” You call back. “Compensating for something?”
He laughs, loud and carefree. “I like you.” He declares. “You’re fun.”
“Fun enough to tell me what you’re doing here?” You ask, eyeing him a bit closer. Now that he’s not constantly moving, you can fully see his headband. He’s a former Nin of Kirigakure. His skin has a blueish tint, but his eyes, teeth, and the gill-like structure on his cheeks make him look even more like a shark.
“Did you bond too closely with a Shark?” You ask, sidestepping when he lunges forward. “Or are you into cosmetic surgery?”
“You think I’m good looking?” He asks, trying to swipe your feet out from under you. You jump and swing your own longsword down at him. He moves just in time, but you cut off the tiniest part of his sleeve, the fabric tumbling to the ground.
To a bystander, it would look like you’re about to beat him, but you know better. He’s trying to fool you. For all his fishy complexion, the guy fights like a cat. He likes playing with his food.
You’ve long lost sight of the street you’d been on when you met his partner. Your team is either dead or thinks that of you.
Without backup, this is going to be a hard fight to win.
And while you’re not one to lose hope, you’re not about flirting to get away easier.
“Well, how would you know that I’m into that sort of thing.” You throw back just as you swipe for his head. He blocks it, grinning widely back at you.
“Really? Well, what do you say? We get out of here and have some fun?”
You’re about to respond when a voice calls out from somewhere behind the trees.
“Kisame. Finish this.”
Kisame grunts in response, which reveals his name to you. When he swings his sword this time, you move back in time, but your feet hit a stray root and you lose your balance.
It’s such a stupid mistake, one that will surely cost you your life.
You tumble to the ground and throw up your sword to block his. Your right elbow awkwardly hits the ground and you cry out without really meaning too, managing to roll over and jump up just in time to deflect another stroke of his sword. Your right arm is pretty much useless now, but you refuse to give up. A few more moves and you’re cornered against a tree. Your left arm shakes with the full weight of your weapon and blood is running down your right arm where he’s now managed to cut you. Your own headband lies somewhere close, cut off by another close strike of his sword. Your hair falls around your head like a halo and you’re panting.
“You’re tried already?” You ask him when he moves slowly toward you. “I could keep going like this all day.”
He grins. One more stroke and your own sword is on the ground, his body and his sword caching you in. You move to grab a Kunai, unwilling to give up, but he’s faster.
His face is so close, you can feel his breath ghost over you.
“You need to work on your balance.” He says, his eyes moving over you. “That was a stupid mistake.”
You snort. “Thanks. I’m going to take it into account when I get back to training later.”
His grin widens. “Really?”
“Sure.” You try to cross your arms, but it’s impossible, not just because your right arm won’t move, but because he’s so close now, he’s almost pressed against you.
This, this is the moment you should see your life flash before you.
You’ve been close to death before, but never like this. Kisame looks like he’s not done playing, eyeing you like he’s waiting for something.
“How thick is your head?” You ask.
He grunts in surprise.
“Why’d you ask?”
“If I headbut you, I could get out of this.” You tell him, your feet already moving you into position. He throws back his head and laughs, just as loud and carefree as he did before.
“You’re really something.” He says when he looks back at you again. You’re just about to do it, when he moves instead. Kisame leans in, ghosts his lip over your jaw so quickly and almost… gently, almost like the thought of a kiss instead of the true gesture, and then he steps back again.
“Keep up the training.” He says, putting his sword away as if you’d been doing just that. Training. “I don’t want it to be boring when I come back for you.”
You stay there, frozen against the tree, until he’s long gone. The ghost of his kiss still tickles your jaw.
Did that really just happen?
-
The next time you meet Kisame, half a year has passed.
You’d been promoted to a Jonin - finally - even though some voices still don’t believe that you really fought Kisame Hoshigaki and came back alive.
You don’t think they’d believe you more if you told them about the kiss, so you keep that a secret.
This time, you’re alone, no teammate in sight, when a distinctly blue hand grabs your arm and pulls you from the street into the shrubbery.
You fight for about an hour, a back and forth of hits and strokes, until your top is barely hanging onto you, and his coat is shed into a million pieces.
He’s grinning,
“You worked on your balance.” He declares, ramming his sword into the ground. “And your stamina?”
“Fuck you.” You spit out, but there’s no venom behind it. You’re still fighting the smile pulling at your lips. “My stamina was always this good.”
Kisame smirks.
“Really?” He asks and there’s something dangerous in his voice now. You don’t dare to lower your sword.
“Do I get to leave today?” You ask, masking the thrill in your body with an almost bored voice. “Or do you have plans?”
“Oh, I have plans allright.” Kisame snorts, “There’s a river close by.”
You furrow your brows. “What’s that supposed to mea-” You halt, frozen in surprise when he pulls off his shirt with one fluid motion and flings it into your direction.
You’re used to Shinobi bodies. Trained abs and strong arms. Usually, those muscles are covered in scars, but Kisame’s skin is a milky blue, unmarred in every place you can see.
Kisame clears his throat pointedly and your eyes snap up to his. The grin is wearing tells you that he’s not only caught you staring, he’s watched you do it the whole entire time.
“You coming?” He asks and moves, away from you and the scene of your fighting.
If anyone in Konoha asks - but you doubt they will - you did not skinny dip with a Rogue Nin instead of completing your mission.
If anyone asks, you got pulled into a Genjutsu, unable to free yourself for multiple hours. Your top is shredded? Well, that must have happened while you were under the influence of said Genjutsu.
You will never tell - not that anyone in Konoha would believe you - but you’d never known that swimming could be as thrilling as you’ve learned today.
The cold water is invigorating and fighting in it is both difficult and easy at the same time.
A punch that would break your bone on land feels almost like a caress, but the swift movements you’re used to are reduced to a slow drag as water pushes back against your every muscle.
The best thing, however, is laying there in the cold water after the fight, letting it run over your warm muscles, well aware that Kisame is right next to you, just as naked as you, but completely careless as he tells you about the seven swordsmen of the mist like it’s a tale told to children. One of his hands is curled around your wrist as if to keep you from being drawn away.
At some point, you fall asleep. When you wake up, your head rests comfortably on his chest. You feel safe.
-
There’s almost a Routine to it now, one you’re not exactly proud of, but still unwilling to stop.
You don’t know how he does it, but he finds you, every single time your mission takes you away from Konoha.
There’s a certain threshold you must pass to make him appear, it seems, because if the mission doesn’t take you out far enough, you come back home without the usual gift of new cuts and bruises he usually brings with him.
You don’t know if anyone suspects anything. You’re not some famous Jonin - like Kakashi nor do you have some wild reputation - like Kakashi. Now that Kisame has layed off of killing your team members - that had been quite the discussion but you made it through - you seemingly run under the radar.
Until Genma fucking Shiranui decides to change that.
“Your fighting style is weird.” He points out one day. It’s all downhill from that.
“You know, there’s nothing wrong about being picky.” He comments when you shoot down some poor Chunin who thinks you’d love to date anyone just because you’re apparently single. Well, you are single, kind off. Kisame and you never discussed that kind of thing in between fighting and kissing and… skinny dipping.
“I agree.” You answer curtly. “Nothing wrong about being picky.”
“Mhm… But you know, most picky people don’t sneak off every time they’re on a mission outside of Konoha. Only to come back…” He makes a gesture that looks vaguely vulgar and you glare at him.
“I have no idea what you mean.”
“Yeah, well… Iwashi saw something….”
“Iwashi should keep away from the Sake.” You point out. “In case you haven’t noticed, he does see a lot of things that aren’t there.”
You leave after that, adamant about getting some distance between you and Genma. Only to be put on the same team with him two days later. And your mission takes you almost all the way to Kirigakure.
.
It’s not a good idea to sneak away. Not when Genma’s obviously keeping an eye on you.
But you don’t doubt that Kisame’s going to find you anyway and this way you will at least keep your teammates alive. Even if some of them - Genma - don’t deserve it.
“Before we fight.” You say when you notice his Chakra Signature, “We have to talk.”
“Oh, do we?” He pulls Samehada from his back and twirls it around. “Can’t we talk while we fight?”
“This is important. Well, it’s important to me.” Your voice is thick with an emotion you don’t want to think about. Is it fear? You’re not sure.
Kisame’s quiet for a moment, eyeing his sword in the dim light before he rams it into the ground and takes the few steps necessary to pull you close.
“You’re important to me.” He says and digs his nose into your hair. “What’s bothering you?”
“I think we have to stop this.” You mumble into his chest, the wide collar of his coat tickling your cheeks. “Some of Konoha’s finest are onto us.”
His arms tighten around you. “So kill them and get it over with.”
You snort. “It’s not that easy, Kisame. I can’t just go around and kill others. That would make me a Rogue.”
“You made yourself a Rogue that day you kissed me.” He points out. You can’t see his grin, but you can hear it in his voice. He sounds so self-satisfied, you dig your fingers into your side.
“I know I can’t eat my cake and have it too, but do you have to point it out like that?”
“What do you wanna do?” He asks instead, voice a little rougher. You know that sound. It usually only comes out when he tells you about his past in Kirigakure or when he kisses you before you have to leave.
You sigh. “I think… if we don’t meet as often, we could… I don’t know, fly under the radar?”
“Or… and hear me out here… You could leave. I have a safe house not far from here. I built it before joining the Akatsuki. It’s a little secluded and we’d have a pretty calm life, but if we want, we can go up to the village and do some missions. It’d just be us and the pups if we want some. Or just us and the sea, training when we want to, missions when we need the exercise.”
You swallow thickly. It sounds too good to be true. It is too good to be true.
“I’m… I’ll… I’ll think about it, okay?” You offer and he nods into your hair.
For a long moment, no one speaks. But Kisame isn’t one for staying quiet and he pulls away first.
Without much flourish, he pulls the ring he’s always been wearing from his finger. He weighs it in his hand for a moment before he takes your hand and puts the ring on your thumb, the only finger it will fit on.
“If you encounter any Akatsuki members, this will tell them that you belong to me. I can tell you how to find my house and I’ll lay off. If you want to see me again, you’ll have to find me this time.”
There’s a thick lump in your throat that keeps you from speaking, so you nod and nod, forcing yourself to memorize his explanations until you feel certain that you will be able to find his house with your eyes closed. There’s no open water nearby and by now, you’ve spent so much time away from the others, you fear that Genma’s probably already looking for you. There’s no time for a last fight, or a last chance to feel the thrill of swimming with him.
-
Live in Konoha is different when there’s no distraction.
Training is so much duller without being able to look forward to a fight with Kisame. Comparing the safe practices of Konoha to the thrill of almost dying is unfair, but you can’t help yourself.
You’re not willing to part with your old life, but you’re not willing to like it either, it seems.
At some point, you even force yourself to go on a date, but you’re miserable the entire time and the guy doesn’t even notice it, asking when he can see you again when all you want is to gauge his eyes out or at least do something about his non-stop talking.
When a new mission takes you away from Konoha, you know Kisame will not show up. He hasn’t done that for the last three missions and you know him enough to know that he’ll stick to his word.
But you still find yourself packing most of your belongings into scrolls. Just in case, you tell yourself, as you write letters to the few friends you have. Just in case.
Kisame doesn’t show up. But Kirigakure does, in a way you hadn’t expected.
The boy is roughly five years old, Kunai ready even though he’s outnumbered.
“I won’t go back.” He calls out. You’re not sure what he means, but you don’t like the way Iwashi eyes him.
“What a freak.” Aoi mutters to your left. His lips are curled in disdain.
The boy’s skin has the slightest grey tint. It could be malnourishment or something else, you’re not sure, but his eyes are what tells him apart. They’re big and purple, but their form is clearly animalistic, reminding you of… Kisame.
You swallow thickly as your mind races.
When the first Kunai goes flying, the boy isn’t the one who’s throwing it. Aoi is.
You move on instinct, dodge the Kunai with your own. Behind your back, you can feel the boy quivering.
“What are you doing?” You hiss. “He’s a kid.”
“He’s from Kirigakure.” Aoi dismisses. “Only dead Kiri-nin are good Kiri-nin. You should know that.”
Iwashi eyes you from the side.
“Is this about your affair?” He asks, voice dripping with hatred. “Because if so, keep the kid and leave. We don’t want people like you in Konoha.”
The words are out before you realize it, but you know they’re the truth.
“If Konoha consists of people like you, I don’t want to be part of that.” You reach behind your back, hand open and offering. To your surprise, the boy takes your hand.
You’re gone before Iwashi or Aoi can mutter another comment.
Only when you’re miles away, do you dare to stop and get to know your new companion.
-
By the time Kisame finds you, you’ve made yourself a home in his house.
He’d not been home for some time when you arrived, leaving you and Shizuma
to clean up his mess.
Like you’ve grown to know him, Kisame’s stealthy in his approach.
One moment you’re in the kitchen making dinner, the next he’s standing behind you, teeth bared at your throat.
Shizuma squeaks behind you as you giggle.
“You’re scaring the kid, babe.” You say and Kisame snorts and kisses your skin instead of biting it.
“What’s up with that anyway.” He mumbles into your neck, quiet enough that Shizuma might not be able to catch it.
“Met him on my last mission as a Konoha Nin. He was abused so badly, he ran away. Good thing he happened to run into me.”
Kisame halts and turns, eyes Shizuma who’s trying to hide behind the table.
“Can you swim, kid?”
“Yessir!”
“Show me.”
“Don’t throw him in!” Your words fall on deaf ears.
The Hoshigaki house is just a few meters away from where the water licks at the shore. Shizuma has barely made two steps out from the house before Kisame grabs him, pulls him up, and on his shoulder to squint at him.
“You don’t weigh enough.” He tells the kid matter-of-factly. “You got to eat more.”
“Yessir!” Shizuma squeaks out just seconds before Kisame flings him into the water. He follows suit a moment later and you huff, turn back to take the pot from the stove only to follow the boys into the water. You suppose Dinner can wait a bit longer.
-
About one year later…
Kisame’s snoring so loudly that the Dock shakes beneath him. The Sun is on its way to its resting place, its golden light caressing your husband’s face as it says goodbye.
Shizuma’s made himself a home on Kisame’s chest, curled into a ball that has significantly grown in size - and weight - over the last year.
The only reason you’re not enjoying the last rays of sunshine with the boys is the squirming ball of energy in your arms.
You bite into your daughter's ear as if you’re going to eat it. She stills for almost a second before she starts moving again. Her hands find the necklace you’re wearing and she eagerly stuffs it into her mouth. If Kisame is any indication, you’ll have to lay off wearing it as soon as her teeth come in, but for now, you don’t have to worry about that yet.
“Do you want to see Dada?” You ask and walk down the small patch of grass between the house and the dock.
Kisame’s snoring falters when you approach. He lazily blinks up at you, not bothering to move when he knows you’re capable of molding yourself around him.
“What’s the pup doing?” He asks, voice hoarse with sleep as he lifts one arm to tease his daughter. She bites down on his thumb the second it comes close to her mouth and you’re once again glad that she’s not yet in possession of a set of teeth.
“Did you find something?” You ask, eyeing the full bag that’s sitting next to his legs.
“Hmm…” He presses his pointer finger against the little one’s cheek until she releases his thumb with a wet ‘pop’. “The big guy found some cool shells he wanted to give you. Tuckered out the moment we got out.”
“You’ve been at it for hours,” you point out, heart picking up speed when Kisame smiles proudly, his other hand coming down to ruffle Shizuma’s hair.
“He’s a beast,” his voice is filled with fondness, the same he has for his daughter. And for you.
There’s a comfortable silence between you as you watch the Sun set completely. Shizuma is still asleep when Kisame gets up and lifts the boy with ease.
“Let’s get inside,” He commands. “It’s getting cold.”
“Yessir.” You tease and he pulls you in by your arm to press a kiss against your mouth.
“You happy?” He asks roughly when he follows you back to the house, his free hand squeezing your hip.
“Always.” You answer and it’s the truth.
-
There are moments when your whole life flashes by.
And while you don’t want it to end anytime soon, it never looked better, flashing by.