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"And as for you, Paul... I know you're the instigator!" Their teacher was almost frothing at the mouth, his eyes dark with rage and his expression angry, "you're going to be expelled! I'll see to that!"
As the door to their dormitory room slammed behind their teacher's retreating back, Paul let himself fall heavily to his bed, feeling a mix of horror, dread, and numbness settle over him as the dormitory room fell silent - a harsh contrast to the yelling and commotion that had just happened.
They'd made a big mistake.
"Max..?"
The blanketed form on the bed across from his didn't move, except for the slight rise and fall that indicated Max was breathing. Max stayed quiet, like he had the second their teacher had walked in on them, hiding away from what had happened.
"I'm so sorry, Max," Paul's voice broke, his lip quivering as the reality of what had happened began to set in, a cold wave of numb terror washing over and threatening to drown him, "I shouldn't have done that, not here. I should have known..."
He shouldn't have sat on Max's bed, he shouldn't have leaned in close to look at every detail of Max's face. He shouldn't have gotten so close, shared so many touches and so many moments.
He shouldn't have allowed himself to develop feelings.
"Max, please." Paul pleaded to the heap of blankets across from him, clasping his hands together as they shook from the stress and fear and hurt that he was feeling, "Max, just say something. I'm sorry."
"Just leave me alone, Paul."
Paul's eyes welled up at the harsh response, although he could hear the shakiness of Max's voice and knew that Max was just as stressed and hurt as he was, and it wasn't long before tears began to stream down Paul's cheeks.
It felt as if everything and everyone was slipping away from him, like sand through his fingertips. Even Max didn't want to speak with him, even Max was upset with him.
Paul twisted to lie back in bed, ignoring the fact that one of his shoes was still on, as he had gone to comfort Max before he finished taking them off. As he pulled his covers over himself and rolled to face towards the wall, he knew that he would be on the earliest train to Berlin after the teacher alerted the rest of the staff of what he had walked in on. There was no explanation that would excuse what the teacher had seen Paul and Max doing, with Paul sitting on Max's bed, his fingers entangled in Max's hair and their lips only inches apart...
Paul had been a fool, to think that they were safe to act in the way their hearts both desired. To think that their overbearing teacher wouldn't have found out, to think that in any world they would have been able to make their feelings work.
A sob escaped Paul's lips, and he curled into himself, wrapping his arms around himself tightly, and he just let himself break.
Paul didn't feel much of anything as he latched his suitcase, standing to pull his coat on while he gave his area a final look to see if he had left anything behind - although, a piece of him honestly wouldn't mind if he left behind everything that would remind him of this period of time. When he was satisfied that he had everything, he picked his suitcase up and left the dormitory room that he had shared with Max ever since he had first arrived at the boarding school.
The halls of the boarding school were fairly vacant, with the early hour. The few staff he saw gave him judgmental looks, and the few groups of students he saw shared gossiping whispers and curious glances as he passed.
None of them said anything, and Paul tried to keep himself looking confident, standing tall and not paying them any mind.
To his surprise, when he walked down the front steps and made his way to the gate beside the driveway, Max was already standing there - obviously waiting for him.
"...Max," Paul hesitantly greeted him as he approached.They hadn't spoken since the night they had been caught. Max had been gone when Paul awoke, his bed stripped and his personal belongings gone. Paul had almost expected to leave without seeing him ever again. He knew that Max wouldn't be facing as harsh of a punishment as Paul was, considering the position of his father, but Paul wasn't surprised that the staff had acted quickly to seperate the two of them.
"Paul... It's been..." Max paused and looked around, scanning the grounds as if he was looking for any spectators to their meeting, "here," Max stepped forward and slipped a frame into Paul's hand, tucking it against Paul's chest, "don't forget me. And for what it's worth," Max reached out and hesitated for a moment, his fingers a breath away from touching Paul's arm, but he pulled back to awkwardly fold his arms against his chest instead, "...I'm sorry. For what happened."
Paul blinked, looking down to see he was holding a framed photo of Max - he was wearing his school uniform, it looked to have been taken recently. Paul carefully set his suitcase down and unlatched it, slipping the photo into it and taking care to cover it with a jacket - both to protect it and to hide it.
To hide it, like he would his feelings henceforth.
For maybe they, society and the government, maybe they were right. Maybe the disgust and horror that the teacher had reacted with had been the correct response. Maybe what they were doing was wrong, was twisted and gross and illegal.
"I'm sorry too."
With the sound of car tires against gravel pulling them from their conversation, Paul turned to see a car pulling up to the gates of the school, no doubt the one he was waiting on.
"Well, I guess this is... good-bye," Max said, drawing Paul's attention back. "Good-bye, Paul."
"I guess it is, good-bye, Max." Paul nodded, reaching down and latching his suitcase before picking it up, handling it carefully with the photo that was inside, "I..."
Paul hesitated for a moment, but Max didn't seem to have anything left to say. He slowly turned to leave, his heart heavy and conflicted.
He could lie to himself, to the world around him, but he couldn't deny the feelings of his heart.
"...I love you," Paul turned his head and whispered over his shoulder, barely loud enough for Max to hear, as he walked towards the awaiting car that would take him to the train station.
And Max said nothing, only averting his gaze with a tense grimace.
Paul sighed heavily, and turned his head away, slipping into the car. As the car jolted into movement, Paul felt a piece of his heart break as he left Max, the boarding school, and the truth of who he was behind.