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“You have GOT to be kidding me,” Amy growled.
“But don’t you see how cute they are?” the Doctor squealed, taking one of the little furry animals in his arms and raising it until it was at the level of his eyes, mimicking the way its little nose moved up and down.
“We. Are. Not. Keeping. Them.”
“But they are adorable! Look!” he tried again, putting the one he was holding in his friend’s arms then running after the rest to catch another one.
“Come on, don’t be afraid of me!” he told them as they ran away, hiding under the furniture. “I wanna play with you guys!”
Amy sighed, putting the small scared beast on the floor.
“What’s up with him?” Rory asked as he came out of their room and caught the sight of the other man sprawled in the stairs, upside down and reaching out.
“He found rabbits on the TARDIS’ rooftop. He doesn’t even how they got there. Eleven of them. And after two minutes he fell in love with them and he wants to keep all of them!”
“Well, bunnies are kind of cute,” Rory conceded, but the death glare his wife shot him told him to shut up.
“If you want to have rabbit hair and pee and poop all over the TARDIS, be my guest, but you’re the one cleaning it.”
A quizzical look appeared on her husband’s face instead of the forfeiting one she was expecting.
“Actually, do you even know how the TARDIS is clean? There’s never any dust no matter where we are. Who takes care of it?”
Amy shrugged with equally confused features. “No idea.”
“Look, I picked up one!” the Doctor exclaimed as he ran back to them with an overexcited beam and a little ball of hair in his arms. “It was hiding, I don’t know what from.” He started to stroke the animal’s ears. “There’s nothing to afraid of here,” he cooned.
“Aw, look how sweet it is,” Rory added with an affectionate smile, petting it too.
“Doctor, we can’t keep them,” Amy tried again.
The man shot her a pleading look, all puppy eyes.
“But why not?” he whined, holding the rabbit closer as to protect it. “You never let me do anything I find fun! They’re making me so happy!”
“There are eleven of them! You can keep one, maximum.”
“But we can’t separate it from its family! It’s going to be all lonely and sad.”
“And you take care of it,” she bargained, ignoring his argument.
“Look, Rory likes them too!” the Doctor argued. As soon as he pronounced those words, the said man got away from the animal, shrinking under Amy’s threatening eyes.
“I guess we could at least keep two?” he tried weakly. “So it’d have company.”
“You’re joking, right?”
“Come on Amy. Two is not much more work than one. It’d make him happy.”
She narrowed her eyes at him.
“Yes!” the Doctor agreed with an enormous smile. “That’s a great idea! Rory is brilliant!”
“Yes, because you suggest this to make him happy,” Amy told her partner with a voice dripping with sarcasm.
“I wanna keep this one,” the Doctor said, completely oblivious to what she had just said and pointing at the hairy form he was holding. “Let’s name it Fez!”
“You want to name a rabbit Fez?” Amy asked with an arched eyebrow.
“Yes,” he said defensively. “Fez is a cool name, and this bunny is cool. Come along, Fez,” he said to his new friend. “Let’s find you another fellow.”
But when the Doctor turned around, he couldn’t see any of his little companions.
“Where are they gone?” Rory asked when he noticed the problem, walking around the control panel. “I don’t see any of them.”
“And here we go,” Amy sang-song to herself.
“Shh,” the Time Lord told her. “Don’t make any sound, maybe they’ll come back.”
“Alright, I give up,” Rory said with a sigh while rubbing his back. “We’ve just spent two hours on our knees looking for them and we didn’t even found one. I think it’s hopeless.”
“Aaaah, don’t talk like that, we still have Fez,” the Doctor answered while pointing at the rodent lying casually on the small yellow seat.
“He’s right,” Amy told her best friend about her husband. “We’re not gonna find them anytime soon. Do you have any other solution?”
The Time Lord scratched his head while looking in the void, making his already messy hair situation worse. Then without any warning, he raised a victorious fist in the air and yelled.
“Ah! I know! There’s that planet which I forgot the name that has this sort of gas that attracts all the rodent so they can gnaw a gigantic sacred tree into something. If I get the TARDIS there and we open the door, my rabbits will go outside.”
“Perfect,” Amy said. “Let’s do it.”
“I’ll just have to catch another one before they all get out,” the Doctor said with a bit of a melancholic tone, looking at his hand toying lazily with one of the lever of the control panel.
“Hey,” Amy said with a sweet voice as she joined him, stroking his shoulder. She looked up at him with a smile. “You’re going to give them a home.”
He smiled back, weakly but sincerely. “I guess you’re right.” He got himself together during two seconds, then he exclaimed, “Alright, let’s go!” and pushed the lever down and waited expectantly.
Nothing happened.
“Doctor?” Rory asked, confused.
“What’s wrong?” Amy finished.
“I- I don’t know,” the man with the bow tie answered. Then he looked up, eyes widened. “The screen is dead! All the buttons don’t glow anymore! All my little shining colourful buttons!” he said with a stressed voice, looking helplessly and slightly panicked at his machine. “What happened? What’s wrong with you sweetie?” he asked while stroking the panel.
He then got downstairs running until he was facing the TARDIS’ machinery, opening it in no time. The couple followed him, coming to a halt when they realized what had happened.
“No way,” Rory said when he saw what was inside.
All the cables were cut asymmetrically, evidently chewed. Ten rabbits were lying next to them, their little mouths full and and bearing a pleased look.
“No,” the Time Lord blurted out, refusing to believe it.
“Well, Doctor,” Amy said with a laugh. “It looks that your amazing time machine that even the most evil aliens can’t get through was just brought down by rabbits!”
“They- they… They ate my TARDIS!”
“Yes, they did.”
“The little… daleks!” the Doctor exclaimed.
Sadly, even Fez had to go after that.