Archive of Our Own

It was your average day in post-good ending (including Universally Loved!) Faraway Town.

Our story begins in the residence of Mr and Mrs Graves, an intriguing couple who hadn’t yet found their place in the Faraway Town community.

That was because Mr and Mrs Graves had been murdered the day after they moved in.

The previous resident of this house was an odd chap named Sunny. He was quiet (when the plot didn’t demand him to be a crackhead) and reserved. But one day, he realised he had to leave Faraway forever!

Sunny hated significant change! So when it came time to move away from Faraway, he couldn’t handle it!

But, alas, there was nothing he could do.

He was taken to his new home in Port Rickstar, a beautiful town by the coast famous for its beautiful beaches, fishing culture and…

Oh, who am I kidding? You don’t care! You read the title!

Sunny got so bored in his mother’s new apartment in Port Rickstar, so he decided to fake a ghost video to get on one of those “TOP 10 SPOOKY GHOST VIDEOS TO MAKE YOU NUT IN FEAR!!!” channels so he could gain fame.

Smartly, he decided to not use wires or find a new friend to spookily open a door! That was too obviously fake! He wanted a real ghost for his fake ghost video!

So, one night. He murdered his mother.

Let’s be honest, she had it coming for the reasons listed below:

[dont forget to add bullshit list]

But, she didn’t come back as a spirit! She came back as a Yokai! He could tell because she spoke through a spirit box, left Ghost Orbs around the apartment and was visible using a D.O.T.S. projector!

With the investigation of the paranormal complete, Sunny left the investigation area and returned home to Faraway. Home was where the heart is! And he had left his in the broom closet.

But when he broke into his own home using an open window, all he found was a couple! So he killed them in their sleep!

And so, here we are now.

Sunny is performing a satanic ritual to revive Mari, because he was told he could do that at the end of the other one shot with the long name, but not the crossover one. That one wasn’t him. That was another him.

Sunny lit the candles, painted the blood into the shape of a star, placed the bodies in the appropriate positions. And he called out to the nether realm!

“OH! DEMONS! I OFFER THESE SACRIFICES IN EXCHANGE FOR BRINGING BACK MY SISTER! IF THATS NOT ENOUGH I also have a yokai over in another town if you’d like that too, idk.”

An orb appeared above the unholy ritual, and slowly manifested itself into a being most unimaginably evil! So cruel! So heartless!

It was Debiruwan the non-binary Aku Doge-person from the kinda hit AU, LIBERA!

“Don’t worry, Jagando, I will….. Eh?”

“Holy shit it’s a fucking demon!” Sunny was so shocked!? A demonic ritual summoning a demon!? OH MAH GAWH!

“No, no, no, no! I’m not a demon, I’m an Aku.”

“What’s the difference?”

“I’m a battle cats OC, smartass. You wanted a REAL demon.”

“But I did a demonic ritual!”

“Dude, you drew a fucking eye in blood.”

“What!? I thought it was a pentagram!”

“Sunny… You should’ve gone to Specsavers!”

This fic where Sunny brutally murders "innocent" people is for legal reasons, NOT brought to you by Specsavers.

“Oh damn it! Whatever will I do now?”

“Just draw a pentagram this time?”

“Oh shit yeah…”

Under Debiruwan’s guidance, Sunny drew a pentagram in blood and reorganised the ritual to fit within the confines of the pentagram. And without another word because if they said anything else it would constitute LABYRINTH spoilers, Debiruwan disappeared! Sunny was also acutely aware that Debiruwan’s memories of this experience were erased so the author didn’t have to make this canon to the LIBERA series.

So Sunny tried again! Yay!

“OH! SEXY DEMONS FROM HELL WITH LARGE… APPENDAGES! PLEASE COME AND…. no wait, I mean-

OH! DEMONS! I OFFER THESE SACRIFICES IN EXCHANGE FOR BRINGING BACK MY SISTER! Also, also, don’t forget about the yokai in port rickstar if you want another one i think you should take that too…”

Holy shit it actually worked! A sexy demon appeared! But I’m not gonna describe it, you can just guess! Call me lazy! idc! I already hate myself :)

“Dude, these sacrifices fucking suck.”

“but i worked hard on them :(“

“I don’t give a shit that you- DID YOU JUST SAY “COLON, OPEN-BRACKET” OUT LOUD?”

“yeah, i’m silly like that :3”

“Fine. If you can go get your sister, you can keep her.”

“Where is she then?”

“That’s the game! Find her! Also! I’m not taking these sacrifices! But I am taking that Yokai you mentioned!”

“Then what do I do with the bodies!?”

The sexy demon winked before disappearing into the nether realm… And Sunny knew exactly what that wink meant.

“DUDE! I KNOW THIS IS UNRELATED BUT I NEED YOUR HELP RIGHT NOW!” The Absolute Truth of the Universe Itself appeared before Sunny as he was dining. “What the hell-“

“Oh! Hey, The Absolute Truth of the Universe Itself! It’s been a while!”

“I left you alone for a fucking week and you’ve already resorted to cannibalism.”

“I was hungry…”

“The reference isn’t even subtle! Come on!…

Wait… If you’re trying to revive Mari… And this is the…

SUNNY, WHAT THE FUCK? I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR A WEEK AND YOU’RE SO BITCHLESS YOU RESORT TO NECROPHILIA AND INCEST!?”

“First of all, it wouldn’t be necrophilia because she’s been revived. Second of all, I’m not fucking my sister.”

“OH THANK GOD… What… What do you mean you revived her..?”

“Gave some sacrifices to some sexy demon, like, just scroll up it’s all right there.”

“Oh, yeah, let me check, one moment.”

Sunny continued to feast on the meal of KINGS as he awaited The Absolute Truth of the Universe Itself’s return.

“Dude, why’d you do that!?”

“YOU SAID AS LONG AS IT DIDN’T INTERFERE WITH THE SCRIPT THAT REALITY RUNS ON, I COULD DO IT!”

“Oh, fuck, I did say that, oh Christ.”

“Do not speak the Lord’s name in vain.”

“I don’t think it’s in the fucking bible that you should Eat Thy Neighbour.”

“But you should Eat Thy Neighbour’s Ass. Speaking of which, I’m going to visit Kel-“

“Hold your horses, young chap. I need your help.”

“But I need to eat Kel’s-“

“You also need to find your sister, which is arguably more important!”

“Wait, hang on, why isn’t your text bold anymore?”

“Finally! You notice! Sunny! Something is wrong with the spacetime continuum! You could say there’s been a… Spacetime Distortion!”

“And do I need to gather Hell’s All-Stars-“

“And you need to gather Hell’s All-Stars!”

“So, Spacetime Distortion - Hell’s All-Stars? And you said my reference wasn’t subtle!”

“Sunny! There’s no time! You have to go gather Hell’s All-Stars!”

“But what do I get if I do this thing for you?”

“You get to keep your reality with the potential of a third crackfic set in this universe.”

“Oh boy! I love threequels! Let’s go! Are you coming with me, The Absolute Truth of the Universe Itself?”

“Yeah, duh, this concerns me too!”

“Well, can I call you something else?”

“Huh?”

“The Absolute Truth of the Universe Itself is an awful mouthful, The Absolute Truth of the Universe Itself. Please hear my plea, The Absolute Truth of the Universe Itself, because if The Absolute Truth of the-“

“ALRIGHT! I GET IT!”

“And that’s the second spongebob reference of the fic! Good going, Author! Maybe you’re not a hack after all!”

Sunny high-fived the Author.

“And what name do you propose you call me instead, Sunny?”

“TATotUI.”

“huh”

“TATotUI. It’s an acronym for your name.”

“that sucks ass, man.”

“Okay! Fine! You’re so needy all the time!” Sunny threw his arms up in the air! TATotUI never understood his feelings! Even after all their time being committed to one another! “How about Trucy?”

“…Like the girl from Ace Attorney?”

“I was thinking like Truth-Truce-Trucy. It sounds like a good nickname to me…”

“……….

Reader, is that a good nickname? Comment below.”

“Someone’s actually reading this shit?”

“Yeah, the Author has like, three loyal fans who read everything she writes. Except AUBREY HASN’T READ ICARUS YET! I’M EXPOSING YOU, AUBREY! YOU HAVEN’T READ ICARUS! GET ON THAT! So, obviously someone’s reading.”

“Cool. So how about it, Trucy?~”

The Absolute Trucy- I mean, The Absolute Truth of the Universe Itself blushed… Such a… Feminine nickname for something so… Existential…!

Could she- I mean, they- I mean, it- I mean… This bitch really accept such a nickname?

“Eh, fuck it. Call me Trucy.” Trucy shrugged. Yes, the truth of existence itself just blushed and shrugged and Sunny could fathom it, maybe if YOU broke YOUR fourth wall, you could fathom it too!

“Nice, Trucy! Where’s the Spacetime Distortion at?”

“Follow me, Sunny!”

Trucy led Sunny outside. Combining their powers, they picked up each other on the exact same frame, confusing the world into allowing them to pick each other up. Giving them infinite upwards momentum, which Sunny was able to use to look into Kel’s bedroom. But he didn’t see anything, so sad… Maybe next time he’ll see shirtless Kel…

Using their combined infinite upwards momentum, they stopped holding each other and dived down into the cemetery. They both crashed into and shattered the graves of two irrelevant nothings right as the family came to grieve, but there wasn’t time to apologise! They had a Spacetime Distortion to enter!

“Wow! It’s over Mari’s grave!” Sunny observed very observantly, and he wondered why that was the case…

Foreshadowing is a literary device that alludes to a later point in the story.

“We need to go in there and stop whatever’s causing this! That way, we can restore my power AND save another Alternate Universe!”

“Save an AU? Why what happened to it?”

“I don’t know. But the evil behind this Spacetime Distortion must be what caused it!”

Sunny started into the distortion. It looked all purple and swirly and he couldn’t help but touch it.

“So, what can you expect on the other side is- Oh you’ve already fucking jumped in.”

SUNNY JUMPED RIGHT INTO THE SPACETIME DISTORTION! NO TIME FOR EXPLANATIONS! EXPLAIN THESE NUTS MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

When Sunny jumped into the Spacetime Distortion, he found himself floating within a tunnel. It was black, with a rainbow of colourful THINGS floating past him as he sped through the axis between worlds.

“Welcome to the Nexus, Sunny!”

“The hell’s the Nexus, Trucy?”

“It’s the way we access Another World. Those powerful enough can open up the fabric of their reality and enter this zone.”

“Oh damn, that’s badass!”

“And we need to figure out who broke the fourth wall aside from us! Only Readers should be able to access this zone?”

“Is this just the… AO3 story list…”

“Yup!”

Oh damn, it was less badass. But he couldn’t tell Trucy that! Wait, shit, Trucy could read his thoughts! Sorry, Trucy!

“Apology accepted, now, we must find traces of the-“

“SOMEONE! IF ANYONE WITHIN THE NEXUS OF WORLDS CAN HEAR US! HELP US!” A girl’s voice called out.

“SAVE YOUR BREATH! NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM!” Some cocky fuck’s voice yelled in response, the moron was clearly wrong!

Sunny turned to the voice. “Hey, Trucy? You hear that?”

“I did.” Trucy sounded concerned, “if someone malicious is within the Nexus, that means all worlds are at risk of destruction.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have let me come here…”

“No time! Sunny! We have to help!”

“You’re right, Trucy! Can you give me like… A cool-ass sword so I can help?”

“Okay, yeah, here… Have the uh…” Trucy threw the classic Roblox sword at Sunny. Naturally, he picked it up as soon as it made contact with it, because that’s how some free Roblox item assets work.

“IT’LL DO!” Sunny yelled as he held his arm out stiffly to adhere to how ROBLOX WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO BE! BLOCKY! NO FACE TRACKING! Wow, the Author really did have strong opinions that seeped through into the characters thoughts and actions. But no time to think about that!

“Come on, Trucy! Let’s go help!”

“Right behind you!” Trucy had turned into a cute girl-like entity that was completely covered in shadow, including her very long hair but had white eyes and a line for a mouth. She grabbed onto Sunny’s shoulders after this TRANS-FOR-MAAAA-TION!!! [Epic Guitar]

“Why do you look like-“

“I’LL EXPLAIN LATER! LET’S GO HELP ALREADY!”

Sunny and Trucy jumped through what seemed like the edge of this Nexus tunnel. As they fell through it, they saw things indescribable, incomprehensible to a human. So Sunny couldn’t comprehend them.

But eventually, they found the source of the noise. It was another tunnel. A large group of people, all with various weapons drawn, and… Seemingly, another Sunny!?

Sunny looked who they were up against, some kind of blond twink with a braid, fused with an indescribable mass of fractals. Immediately, he knew this person was bad news. Trucy knew it well, too.

Together they unleashed a strike of their Roblox sword! The twink tried to block with its fractal claw, but they shattered it because classic Roblox swords in a pvp master’s hands are an unstoppable force. And maybe having the aid of an existential concept of truth to the universe also boosted his power by a little.

“I DUNNO WHAT THE FUCK’S GOING ON HERE!” Sunny screamed, this was honestly above his pay grade, and he was getting paid jack shit! Thanks, Biden!

“BUT WE WON’T LET YOU HARM OUR WORLDS!” Trucy screamed after him, a feminine voice too? Damn, Trucy, you an egg or something? Or is you just more comfortable in a feminine body? Sunny didn’t judge.

Yet, before they could wail on the twink, really give ‘em what for, the Nexus pulled them right back to their tunnel, dragging them by tendrils, as if knowing they had been sent somewhere they weren’t meant to be. And it also took away his sickass Roblox sword, too! He wasn’t allowed anything fun in this multiverse!!!

“So, uh… Trucy… What the hell was that?”

“Dunno.” Trucy shrugged, taking advantage of their new form very well.

“What do you mean you don’t know? You’re the Absolute Truth of the Universe Itse- Ohhhhhh…. Only our Universe…”

“And whatever’s relevant for the joke. Everything else I’ve had to learn in scraps from the Author.”

“So, you only know what’s relevant and funny for this adventure and nothing else?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Where are we going, then? And why are we on this adventure in the first place?”

“Someone has been disrupting the balance of the multiverse by including incessant recurring gags in worlds that they don’t belong in.”

“Recurring gags… The most evil thing humanity every created…”

“We’re going to venture to several universes, until we find the next recurring gag, and that way, we’ll know that we’re close to the source!”

“So, these other universes are gonna be all sunshine and rainbows, right? Super easy adventure? In and out? 20 minutes or so?”

“Nope! What kind of adventure is that? What are you fucking stupid? There has to be real stakes or else this crackfic will be nothing but jokes.”

“But the original one was nothing but jokes! Why do we need lore!?”

“Because Disney’s Wish has proven that to make a successful movie, you need to include incessant careless references with no rhyme nor reason to the plot.”

“I thought Wish was a critical and commercial flop?”

“Last I checked it earned $40 million! You know how much the Author earned from writing your fic? That’s right! Nothing! So if all goes according to plan, she gets $40 million!”

“She lives in Britain! What’s she gonna do with dollars!?”

“Convert them to pounds, you dumb fuck.”

“But what about taxes!? She doesn’t know how to pay those!”

“Ever heard of tax fraud?”

“Do I look like a turnip?”

“Oh! Sunny! Our first Universe! No more bickering! It’s time to see what lies on the other side of the portal!”

The light at the end of the tunnel drew them to a whole new world!

Sunny and Trucy emerged from the Spacetime Distortion and found themselves in a large, sprawling, futuristic city. They had emerged in the middle of a busy bazaar, their ears (did Trucy even have ears?) assaulted by some song that sounded like it was just saying the words “Pon Pon Shit” over and over again.

When Sunny looked down at himself, his outfit had changed entirely! He was wearing a yellow hi-vis coat with blue baggy pants and some cool-as-fuck trainers that he could never afford back at home. His hair had also been slicked up! Nice!

Trucy had also changed outfit, not that they really needed outfits. But playing dress-up was fun, fuck you. They wore a white crop-jacket with long sleeves, a red and grey leotard, white short shorts, grey leggings and black and red boots. Their hair had also been styled shorter, with a long strand in the front.

“We’re starting in the most recent world of activity. Night City.”

“Night City? The last one-shot was set there!”

“Exactly. And according to my source, me, there has been a Recurring Gag somewhere in this zone. Making it a perfect place to start.”

Sunny took note, and tapped the nearest unimportant character who looked about as generic as one could be in a cyberpunk setting.

“Hey, excuse me? Have you seen anything not funny around here you?” He tried to sound polite, and it took a lot of willpower to do so.

“Can I help you?” The NPC responded.

“Motherfucker I just explained what I was fucking looking for, you waste of bits.”

“Can I help you?” The little shit only had this single fucking line of dialogue didn’t?”

“I AM BEING AS POLITE AS I CAN BE, PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTION.”

“Can I help you?”

Trucy tugged Sunny’s coat, leading him through the intense crowd. “Come on, dumbass. Don’t bother talking to the NPC’s unless they have a name over them.”

“Why can’t I verbally abuse the nameless NPC’s? They’re irrelevant!”

“You can verbally abuse them when we’re not under a time constraint.”

“We’re under a time constraint!? Why the fuck didn’t you say so earlier?”

“It was implied!”

“We’re in Night City, let’s fucking speedrun this shit!”

Sunny, having some new completely out-of-nowhere plot convenient strength, lifted Trucy with both arms and started SPRINTING as fast as he was capable of! He didn’t even worry about running out of stamina, because he had the air-dash perk, and also the perk that recovers stamina by air-dashing! Totally not a completely unbalanced ability!

“What are we looking for exactly?”

“A main or side character. You’ll be able to tell when you find one.”

“How!?”

“Because we can always tell!”

“That’s what bigots say and they’re always fucking wrong.”

“And we’re NOT bigots, so we’ll be right!”

“Shit, you’ve got me there.”

Sunny, in a move of pure genius (collision accident because Cyberpunk 2077 is an embarrassment of a video game release) clipped through a wall, and fell into the void below!

However, this was genius because he was respawned right where THE protagonist was! Even Trucy was impressed with his genius! (They weren’t, they were just amusing him.)

The protagonist was a long-haired Cyberpunk Sunny!

“Oh, shit! That’s me!” Sunny pointed at the Cyberpunk Sunny, dropping Trucy for emphasis.

“OOF-“

“Intriguing…” The Cyberpunk Sunny held the hilt of his katana. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“Uh oh…! We’ve been… Found out!” Trucy screamed as they stood up.

“Okay? And? You’re The Absolute Truth of the Universe Itself. Do something.”

“I’m only the fabric of reality of OUR universe! Not others!”

“You’re really testing the suspension of disbelief, Trucy. I have never seen it been done in a way that I doubt a character is as weak as they claim.”

“Sunny! It’s literally why I took this form!”

“Enough out of you two.” Cyberpunk Sunny held tightly to the katana hilt. “I’ll cut you down right here!” He smiled a manic smile and pulled the katana… But it didn’t move an inch! “What the!? Why… Why can’t I!?”

“Ha-ha!” Sunny pointed again. “We’re too important to a quest and he can’t kill us!”

“She.”

“Huh?”

“I’m Mari.”

oh shit sunny had been misgendering her this entire fucking time.

“Oh… Sorry… I didn’t mean to…”

“You’re suddenly a lot less murdery.” Trucy pointed out, walking circles around Cyberpunk Mari, because they were used to enveloping all of mind and matter, this was just a compromise.

“I can’t kill you. You must have a quest for me, where I can kill things, and I can wipe this putrid world clean.”

“Uh, what if I told you there’s no guarantee we have a killing quest, but we’re venturing through multiverses to try and find some great evil that’s infesting these universes, and we’re probably gonna end up killing them?”

“Good enough. You have my blade by your side.”

Mari (Night City) joined the party!

“Yippee!” Sunny celebrated!

“SHIT!” Trucy exclaimed.

“What is the issue?” Wondered Mari.

“The Author forgot to claim her Guardian Tales mail because she was too busy writing us!”

“Sucks to suck.” She pulled down her bottom eyelid and blew a raspberry, to which the Author responded with “:(“

“In any case, it’s definitely a good idea to get more allies!”

Sunny pondered, putting a finger to his chin. “Does that mean we’re headed to LIBERA next?”

“No. It is forbidden.”

“What? Whyyyyy… I want to beat up that child again.”

“dude, it’s literally forbidden. don’t even try it.”

“They say it’s forbidden.” Mari chimed in. “So perhaps it’s better for your survival to not go there, wherever it is.”

“Why are you taking their side!? They’re the Absolute Truth of the—… You’re taking their side because they’re the Absolute Truth of the Universe ltself.”

“Yes. I could tell from their power. They almost match mine.”

“Cocky, much?”

“I’m just stating the facts.”

“Yeah, she’s just stating the facts.” Trucy added.

“Why are you taking her side?” Sunny yelled out of frustration, “you’re-… I’m not even going to finish that sentence.”

“WE’VE BEEN DISTRACTED ENOUGH!” Trucy opened a Spacetime Distortion of their own. “Mari, you’re becoming an irrelevant side-character that only chimes in with occasional dialogue until the final part of the story!”

“K. Didn’t expect to get Octopath Traveller’d today, but whatever.”

“Wait! We forgot to ask! Has there been a recurring gag here!? Something about Air Conditioning?”

“…Back when Sunny was in control of this body, Kel did say to him ‘I fucking love air conditioning’, does that count?”

“It does. We know the influence of the recurring gag has touched this world. Now! We venture onwards! To the next world!”

Sunny, Trucy and the rest of the Party jumped into the Spacetime Distortion, returning to the Nexus. It was probably melting Mari’s mind, but she was like, some kinda cyborg, so it was PROBABLY an easy fix if it LITERALLY happened?

Aw, their outfits switched back to normal… Sunny wanted to cosplay a little more.

The Nexus Tunnel now led them to another light, Trucy was the first to approach it, sticking their head into the new world…

“Sunny.” They turned back towards him. “Close your eyes.”

“You’ll be here soon~” He sang along.

”一 二 三 四 五分。” Mari sang along with a perfect accent, turns out Night City being an amalgam of many cultures means she was born half-Japanese!

“No! Sunny! I wasn’t singing!”

“Could’ve fooled me.” Mari forgot to turn off her Japanese accent. She continued to hum the rest of the song.

“Seriously! Shut your eyes as you enter! You’re not gonna like what you see!”

“Fine, jeez, who are you? My MOM!?”

“Would’ve been an interesting twist, but no. I am not your mother, do as I say anyway!”

Sunny shut his eyes as he entered the light at the end of the tunnel.

He fell onto grass, and so did Trucy and the rest of the party. Trucy didn’t cover their eyes because they’re special or whatever. And then Sunny heard weird sorts of sucking noises… And then screaming… And then Trucy yelling, “It’s okay! It’s okay! We are not here to hurt you!”… And then what sounded like fabric or something… And then something running along the grass…

“Can I open my eyes now?” Sunny turned to where he thought Trucy was.

“Yeah. It’s fine now.” Trucy pat him on the shoulder.

When he opened his eyes, he wasn’t even looking at Trucy at all! He was looking at… His house!? He turned to Trucy, and saw Aubrey! But she was taller! And older! And her clothes were oddly dishevelled. Oh! Also Mari’s outfit had switched too! It was a sleek and stylish version of normal Mari’s outfit! What a great attention to detail!

Special Dialogue Trigger! Mari (Night City) in the Party!

“Oh, she’s hot.” Mari panted, Sunny thought she was a killing machine, not a…. Horny machine…?

“You’re literally meant to kill her in your world!” Trucy responded, oh so NOW they knew shit! Convenience was a BITCH!

“I am?” Oh, seemed she hadn’t got around to that yet. “Good idea. They stand in my way.”

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?” The Older Aubrey put her fists in front of her! Okay, let’s FIGHT CLUB this, bitch!… Wait, maybe let’s not, Sunny wouldn’t be able to bear the burden of Trucy not being real, they were funny to him.

“Aubrey! Let’s not panic here! We just need to ask you a question!” Trucy waved their arms in a panic, some powerful being there were! “FUCK you, Sunny! I sensed that!”

“NAH! NO QUESTIONS! I’M FIGHT CLUB’ING THIS BITCH! AND YOU KNOW WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT IT!” SHIT! She HAD seen Fight Club!

But then, Aubrey started… Fracturing…!? Her head tilting and twisting and she started transforming!

She looked very much like that Blond Twink!

“Trucy!? What is this!?”

“A side effect of the Shattered Fourth Wall! She’s become something monstrous from the lingering distortions! She was never supposed to acknowledge the potential of her reality being fiction! She’s become…!

AN ARCHANGEL!”

“like Cassette Beasts?”

“Yes, like Cassette Beasts.”

“Aw crap! I wasn’t expecting to fight CB style! Ah well… HERE GOES!”

AUBREY, THE FRESH RESTART ATTACKED!!!

The fractal monster Aubrey had taken form into let out a scream! And as it did, Cassette Beasts OST - Same Old Story (Instrumental) started to play!

Sunny materialised his Roblox Sword! He got to keep it! Yay!

Trucy manifested a fucking scythe! Bad! Ass!

And Mari unsheathed her blade, which Sunny only just realised was called “OMORI” by checking her equipment and stats.

Mari used deflect!

The next ranged hit this turn would be deflected!

THE FRESH RESTART USED FRACTAL BAT!

Sunny took 143 damage! Half his fucking health!

Trucy avoided the hit!

Mari activated deflect!

THE FRESH RESTART took 143 damage! Haha! Suck it!

Trucy used Reap and Sew!

THE FRESH RESTART took 102 damage!

Seeds scattered across the battlefield!

Sunny used Roblox Hitbox Bullshittery!

Roblox Pro Skill increased the crit rate to 100%!

IT HIT RIGHT IN THE HEART!

THE FRESH RESTART took 261 damage!

THE FRESH RESTART took 248 damage!

THE FRESH RESTART took 267 damage!

The seeds absorbed 50 heart and returned it to the party!

Sunny restored 50 heart!

THE FRESH RESTART USED SUCK OF THE GODS! huh whys it called that…?

THE FRESH RESTART sucked out all of Mari’s juice! that sounds…

Mari used Quickhack!

But she didn’t have enough juice…

Trucy used Fracture!

THE FRESH RESTART’s defence dropped to 0 for the next hit!

Sunny used MLG trickshot!

HEADSHOT!

But mom didn’t get the camera…

THE FRESH RESTART took 3636 damage!

THE FRESH RESTART survived the lethal damage with 1 heart!

THE FRESH RESTART let out a howl!

THE FRESH RESTART went berserk! Like that one guy! Nuts or whatever his name was!

Attack increased!

Attack increased!!

Attack increased!!!

THE FRESH RESTART USED AUBREY’S FRESH START!!! (don't look that up unless you want your eyes to be blasted with SEX.)

THE FRESH RESTART recovered all of its heart!!!

THE FRESH RESTART increased its max heart!!!

THE FRESH RESTART got another turn!

what is this BULLSHIT!? some fucking balanced game design this is! Ignore Sunny practically cheesing it! That’s irrelevant!

THE FRESH RESTART USED HEARTBREAK!

IT HIT RIGHT IN THE HEART!

Sunny took 9999 damage!

Sunny did not succumb!

Trucy did not have a heart!

Mari’s heart temporarily shut down!

Mari collapsed!

“Oh, SHIT.” Trucy screamed. “This ain’t looking good!”

“No shit, sherlock!” Sunny yelled back! “We’re getting pounded over here! If only we had beast transformations or something!”

“…Wait! Sunny! That’s it!”

“What’s it!?”

“CASSETTE BEASTS LORE!!! TAKE MY HAND!”

“What the hell are you talking about!? I didn’t pay attention to the lore!”

“Just trust me, Sunny!”

Seeing no other option, and wishing to survive this encounter, Sunny took Trucy’s vantablack hand, wishing desperately for a way to survive because the plot refused to let him bullshit his way out of it!

This will to survive resonated with Trucy’s knowledge of Cassette Beasts lore, and their combined wills allowed them…!

TO FUSE!

And because of their fusion, Cassette Beasts OST - Same Old Story started to play! With LYRICS! Oh it was fucking over for Aubrey now, bitch!

Their fusion allowed them to simultaneously act as one! And Sunny looked hella cool, too! He had gained Trucy’s hair, and patches of black on his skin, his eyes shone white, and his outfit had tons of flowy bits to fly in the wind that had just picked up! All of their moves were now available to their fusion! And with their fused stats, it was truly over!

SUNCY used BS of the Author!

All of their stats rose for two turns!

THE FRESH RESTART USED FRACTAL BAT!

SUNCY avoided the hit!

Mari got back up!

Mari healed 1 heart!

“Ready, Sunny?” SUNCY spoke to itself, because they were two beings combined into one, but still individual beings kinda. Like coffee with milk. “I’m ready, Trucy!” SUNCY sung along to the lyrics of Same Old Story as they prepared their combined ultimate attack!

SUNCY used UNIVERSE-BENDING SPEEDRUN STRATS!

SUNCY bounced off the environment, clipping into an object in such a manner they gained infinite height! After an hour of falling, which were instantaneous, not only in this turn-based system, but also in this fanfic! They landed down upon the battlefield with the ULTIMATE PLUNGING ATTACK!

THE FRESH RESTART took 9999999999 damage from the power of friendship!!!

THE FRESH RESTART was defeated!

Sunny earned 143 exp!

Trucy earned 143 exp!

Mari earned 142 exp!

Aubrey returned to normal, no longer fractured by the fractal stuff.

“Augh… What… The hell… happened…” Aubrey groaned, a hand on stomach. “I feel like I just got pounded by-“

“WE JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE.” Trucy suddenly interrupted, rushing out the words and almost tripping over them!

“Damn, you did? Thanks.”

“In exchange, I think you should join our party! We’re going through the AO3 OMORI multiverse to save it all from a great evil that’s inadvertently summoning the fractals that took over you!”

“K. Just give me a minute.”

Aubrey walked into the house, and after a whole bunch of random cartoon noises, she came out practically glowing!

“‘Kay. I’m ready.”

“really had to do it one last time before going to save the multiverse, huh?” Trucy sighed, in any other situation, this breath would cause a tornado, but in their weakened state and girlish form, it was just a sigh.

“Yup.”

Sunny didn’t know what they were talking about, there was probably a song about his plight here.

Regardless! It was time to leave!

Aubrey (Fresh Start) joined the party!

The party jumped back through the distortion, entering the Nexus Tunnel again!

But something was wrong! Usually this happens near the endgame to throw a wrench in the works! But it was happening now! Just what was the Author plotting!? The Tunnel glitched, and the Nexus threw them off-site! Literally!

Sunny, Trucy and the rest of the party landed in a dark, dismal area. A desolate land of despair, it was almost as if Guardian Tales’ Unrecorded World theme was going to start playing at any moment! Oh wait! It was!!!

“Dear God…” Trucy looked around with the eyes of a panicked Murder Drones character. “We’re… We’re in…”

“Wh-Where are we, Trucy..?” If even Trucy was afraid, this was a place of horror, a place of misery… A place they should never have tread into…

“Discord…

The Author’s… Direct messages..! To CheeseCheese15!”

“Wait…! Sunny look!” Trucy pointed at the messages. “Recurring gag..! Is CheeseCheese15 the one creating the recurring gags!?”

“But the Author’s talking to him! They’re communicating! Are they… In collusion!?” Sunny was aghast! He was shocked! Petrified! Petrigof! Or whatever his name was from Adventure Time…. why did he… think that?

Suddenly, white squares begun to form around them! Subsuming them into whiteness! God! Whites really were the worst, weren’t they?

And then…

WELCOME TO WHITE SPACE.

YOU HAVE BEEN LIVING HERE FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN REMEMBER.

…White space? He… They were all in here..? But how..?

And then he saw it… Sat upon the little carpet in the centre…

FEMALE SUNNY…?

She was sat on her knees, slowly she opened her eyes and stared at Sunny. But… Shouldn’t it have been OMORI there…?

‘…Huh? You’re not OMORI… you’re, me?’ he said to the stranger. Almost feeling like he was stuck a script or something. Not what he expected, but he entertained the thought. (This was all in his head after all… Why did he feel like something was calling out to him..?)

‘You’re… me?’ she replied. She was staring directly into Sunnys eyes , which made him notice how pretty hers were-

‘No, that’s you, do not think of flirting, that would be incredibly weird, no matter how cute she is’ he thought.

‘You… think I’m cute?’ she responded. Shit, he thought out loud!

“EEEEEENOUGH!!!” Trucy interrupted his trance by tearing apart the illusion and entering! They looked pissed! Third spongebob ref, nice job… Wait, was Sunny about to…?

The White Space illusion shattered! Returning them back to the horrific land of Discord! Even Moony was brought with them.

“Sunny. We gotta get outta here! If we don’t, you and Moony are gonna-“

“HEY! THESE MOTHERFUCKERS BROKE OUT OF THE SCRIPT!” The image file scrolled the Discord conversation down! And then it broke out of the image!!! Papaluga from The Battle Cats!?!?!?! “I’LL GET YOU KIDDYWINKS!” Oh god oh fuck it was slowly inching towards them oh god they were FUCKED absolutely FUCKED what were they gonna do!?

“SUNNY! COME ON! LET’S DASH!” Trucy and the rest of the Party fled!

“But wait!” Moony called out! “What about me!?”

Sunny took her hand and started fleeing with her! She was surprised by the sudden hand-holding! The selfcest had barely even begun!… No wait, it wasn’t supposed to begin! They were breaking the script!!… Did they have to though? Sunny didn’t wanna die a virgin!

“Sunny.” Trucy stared angrily. “You will NOT love yourself in this fic. In fact, I don’t believe you even deserve to love yourself in any definition of the phrase! You murdered your own mother and an innocent married couple!”

“Hang on, if I’m understanding the reference here, weren’t that married couple like, horrible parents that made their eldest child essentially raise their youngest child on his own, not only creating a terrible co-dependent relationship, but letting them get away with murdering a girl by locking her in a box? They’re all worse than I am!”

“IS NOW REALLY THE TIME TO EXPLAIN THE LORE!?”

“THERE’S ALWAYS TIME TO EXPLAIN THE LORE!!!”

Papaluga was getting oh so fucking close holy shit if his arms were 100x longer he would reach them oh fuck oh shit oh crap oh piss oh other rude words that his mother would scorn him for saying!

“NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE LORE ANYWAY! I’LL OPEN A DISTORTION! EVERYONE JUMP IN!”

Sunny, Moony and Trucy and the rest of the Party jumped in!

And once they were in the Nexus tunnel, they breathed a sigh of relief…

“Soooo… Moony’s with us now.” Sunny awkwardly looked at her. “So……… Can she be a party member, too?”

“Well, we don’t have a choice. Moony’s one of us now.”

“Yippee!” Moony celebrated by raising her arms like a little autistic creature.

Sunny internally battled his demons. (The urge to say) “Yippee!” (And lost.)

“Let’s get back on track.” Trucy led the party to the next light, this time not getting interrupted by anything because that would be boring and repetitive, doing the same thing twice!

Into the next light they went! Just where would they end up!?!?!?!!!,!?!!,!!?!?!??.!,!,..?.?.?.?.?.?.!.!.?.?.?. z xbox cbcxbxbxbxbxbbxbxbzXbdbsbfbfkxgch

They emerged into… BASIL’S HOUSE!?!?! Except everything was so dark and dreary and…! Woah! They were black and white! And wearing cop uniforms!? Oh no! They were the bad guys!!!

Special Dialogue Trigger! Mari (Night City) in the Party!

“The best way to evade the NCPD is to become the NCPD.”

Special Dialogue Trigger! Aubrey (Fresh Start) in the Party!

“I’ve never liked pigs. They always chased me when I committed crimes.”

Fusion Dialogue Trigger! Mari (Night City) + Aubrey (Fresh Start) in the Party!

“Cops tend to do that when you break the law, Aubrey. That’s why you exclusively kill the people marked with yellow or red indicators.”

“Uh, yeah, sure..? Haha…?”

…Sunny knew what he had to do.

He burst into Basil’s room, finger gun drawn!

“POLICE!” And when he saw the abhorrent construction before him… He couldn’t help but scream, “IS THAT FUCKING FISH JENGA!?”

“NO! The Basil covered in blood yelled as he pushed down the tower of fish… I’ve got you now, bitch boy! 1986 Salmon Act! It is illegal to “…Handle salmon in suspicious circumstance…”

The handcuffed and scarred Sunny raised his arms up in the air in fright!

“You’ve been caught now! And you’re going to the slammer for a long time-“

Trucy cleared their existential throat, prompting Sunny to look at this universe’s Sunny.

Oh… he was jealous.

I mean! No! He was terrified! He put on his best frightened voice to show how frightened he was! “H-Have we… Stepped into a… An AU where Basil is a freak freak?”

“Kind of?” Trucy thought to themself for a second. “I think we’ve stepped into a sort of weird amalgam of Yandere Basil AU’s, of which there are currently 23 tagged, many of which include gore and explicit sexual content, which has been cut from this amalgam for the sake of keeping the tone funny and light-hearted.”

“Funny and light-hearted!? I just murdered three people!”

“As a joke, you imbecile! It’s written to be funny!”

“Murder is funny but incest isn’t!? But I’ve ended three lives!”

“Sunny, I don’t control the minds of the population.”

“Maybe you should.”

“No! That’s mean! >:(“

“DID YOU JUST RIGHT ARROW, COLON, OPEN BRACKET ME!”

“Yeah I did…………

Wait…

No…

Sunny…

You didn’t…”

“..?” He was confused, worried, afraid… Until he realised what he had done. “Oh shit…”

“A RECURRING GAG!” They yelled in unison!

“What the fuck are you talking about? Yandere Basil pulled a knife out of one of the salmon…

Before the fractals overtook his body, too!!! But he seemed to be enjoying it!?

“I don’t know what going on here… But I see THREE MORE SUNNY’S! Oh my… I can’t wait to make you all fall for me, too!”

“Not Sunny.” Mari growled. “Once again… I am Mari.”

“I mean… I guess I count as a Sunny..? Not important.” Moony chimed in with, then realising that this discussion really wasn’t important.

BASIL, THE LONG LOST LUST ATTACKED!!!

You know the drill. Same Old Story Instrumental. I'm not even gonna provide the link this time. Just check your history lazy-ass.

Everyone pulled out their weapons. If you forgot them, just scroll up to the last fight.

Aubrey pulled out her bat! but it wasn’t nailed anymore… Did older Aubrey hate nailing or what?

Moony pulled out her knife! It was very dull.

“Hold on.” Trucy used Pear Fussili! Instantly filling the fusion metre and not even taking up their turn! “Let’s do this again, Sunny.”

“Good call! Fusion makes me feel tingly!” Sunny smiled right back, completely out of character for canon Sunny, he hated smiling! But this wasn’t canon Sunny, and he never was canon! What kind of fan-made thing could ever hope to be canon!?

“Didn’t need to know that.” But it was too late! Trucy already knew it! And that knowledge would be forever bound to them as they fused into SUNCY!!!

Once again, you know the drill, lyrical Same Old Story. 

THE LONG LUST LOST USED UNHOLY MATRIMONY!

It trapped Mari in cuffs!

Mari became Brainwashed!

Mari used Quickhack!

But she couldn’t hack Moony’s fully biological brain!

SUNCY used BS of the Author!

All of their stats rose for two turns!

Moony used Hack Away!

THE LONG LOST LUST took -271 damage!

THE LONG LOST LUST took -286 damage!

Mari took 54 damage!

Mari’s cuffs broke off!

Mari returned to the Party!

“Wait! What!?” SUNCY were in shock, each hit HEALED it!?

“Gahahaha… The pain only makes me stronger, loves.” THE manic LONG LOST LUST sputtered. “You can’t hurt me at all!”

“Well we gotta TRY!” Aubrey gripped tighter onto her bat!

Aubrey hit THE LONG LOST LUST with her bat!

THE LONG LOST LUST took -328 damage!

THE LONG LOST LUST cackled once more! “I told you, loves! There’s nothing you can do!”

“Or is there..?” SUNCY had an idea! If they couldn’t hurt THE LONG LOST LUST, what if they just… Didn’t?

SUNCY used BullshitAttackThatOnlyAppearsOnceWhenConvenientAndNeverAgain!

Scarred Sunny took 1 damage!

Scarred Sunny’s cuffs broke off!

Scarred Sunny fled the battlefield!

“What!? No! NO! SUNNY! COME BACK! I… I LOVE YOU! YOU HEAR ME…!?” THE LONG LOST LUST fell to the fallen jenga tower of fish, the fractals slowly fading away… “I… Love you…”

THE LONG LOST LUST was defeated!

Sunny gained 341 exp!

Trucy gained 341 exp!

Mari gained 521 exp!

Aubrey gained 341 exp!

Moony gained 341 exp!

Yandere Basil cried, his tears smelled really bad because they were mixed with fish guts.

Sunny knelt down to Basil.

“Hey, Basil.”

“What….sniff sniff…Do you want…sniffle sniffly-“

“Are you saving sniff sniff out loud-“

“NO!…I mean…sniffle sniffle…You…Drove away…My beloved…sniffles sniffles sniffles…”

“Hey… Well… You can get him back once we sort out the problem with the multiverse!”

“W-WEALLY!? :Pleading_Face:”

“I mean… I guess..?” Trucy shrugged… And then their eyes widened… “Wait… You didn’t just make a spongebob joke, did you…?”

The fractals formed once more! But this time, they became a mirror into another reality?

“AND WHAT’S THIS!? SOME RAG-TAG GROUP OF DO-GOODERS TRYING TO THWART MY PLANS!?” An evil shadow depicted in the fractal mirror boomed. “YOU’LL NEVER FIND ME! NOT WITH THOSE LAME AS FUCK RECURRING GAGS!”

“So YOU’RE the one behind all this! Who are you really!?” Trucy pointed angrily at the shadow. They seemed angry!

“I’M THE ONE WHO’S GONNA SURPASS ALL OF YOU LAME FUCKS ONCE I’VE ENACTED MY MASTER PLAN!”

“That does NOT answer my question!”

“HAHAHA… Wait, who the fuck are you, did Mari add a fucking OC to her one-shot?”

“I have done nothing of the sort.” Interjected Mari (Night City).

“NOT YOU, MARI!” Trucy and the evil shadow spoke at once. “THE AUTHOR!”

“By definition, yes!” Trucy responded to its earlier question. “I am an OC! And I always was one!”

“I SEE… BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER! YOU CAN’T STOP ME NOW! HAHAHAHAHA!!!”

And with that, the fractals vanished, leaving them on that note without so much as saying goodbye! WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR!? A SIMPLE GOODBYE!? I HAVE TO MAINTAIN EVERYTHING IN THIS SINGLE MINUTE RELATIONSHIP, EVIL SHADOW!

Yandere Basil looked at where the fractals once were. “What the fuck.”

“Oh yeah! Wanna join our Party and save the multiverse so you can continue to torture and abuse the supposed love of your life?” Sunny reached out his hand for Basil, who took it swiftly!

“OF COURSE I DO!”

Middle Notes:

The Author does not condone the psychotic practices of the typical depiction of a “Yandere”, those being torture, murder, et cetera. Unless that Yandere is hot as fuck. Which Basil is not. Partly due to the Author preferring women over men (not excluding men or masc non-binary folks by any means, just a bisexuality lean.) and also partly due to the fact that Basil is a 16 year old. Age him up, trans his gender, and then we’ll see. k, thanxbye.

Basil (Yandere) joined the Party!

“Well, that’s sorted! Let’s fucking go!!!” That phrase from Trucy was a double-meaning. They were both excited after the events of this world, and also yelling at everyone to move through the Spacetime Distortion they had just created.

Moony looked at Basil with great concern in her dull as fuck eyes. “I… Don’t exactly feel comfortable with him around…”

“Shuddup! Get moving!” Sunny kicked Moony into the distortion, and everyone else jumped in after her!

It was then that the Author took a break to play Murder Drones Reassembled on Roblox dot com. If you’ve ever seen a Doll wearing the prom outfit named “Doll” with no bio, that incessantly flirted with women and sometimes even men whilst doing a “:3” face, that was me ;3

The Nexus Tunnel led them straight to the next alternate universe! No dilly-dallying! Just straight there!

It was… Well, it wasn’t Faraway! It was some other place! But things were different… Grim almost.

Sunny was dressed the same as always, but everyone else got casual disguises! What the hell was this shit!? Unfaiiir! Booooo!!!

“My… Oh my… Sunshine!?”

Sunny was suddenly hugged by some blond-haired, green eyed, glasses wearing motherfucker. Like an incel Cloud Strife or something.

“There you are! I can’t believe you ran away! Oh! I was so worried! And who are these people?” Why’d he say that last line with such scorn on his voice. “Thank you for finding my little brother! But we really have to get home now!”

And before anyone could do anything, Sunny was kidnapped by Incel Cloud Strife.

Sunny (unwillingly) left the Party!

Trucy is now the Party Leader!

Special Dialogue Trigger! Moony in the Party!

“What-… Why the heck didn’t we do anything!? Sunny’s in danger!” Oh, Moony, you really are the Knives Chau of the group, aren’t you?

Special Dialogue Trigger! Mari (Night City) in the Party

“Kidnapping that little monster? If that man were knowledgeable in the slightest, he’d know to effectively kill him.”

Special Dialogue Trigger! Basil (Yandere) in the Party!

“No one steals Sunny on my watch! Not when he’s my ticket to getting Sunny back!!!”

Special Dialogue Trigger! Aubrey (Fresh Start) in the Party!

these special triggers really weren’t so special huh?

“This place is weird as hell, let’s just get him and go.”

Trucy followed the weird blond fuck’s fucksteps- i mean- footsteps. It wasn’t exactly difficult, he had just kidnapped Sunny in broad daylight. Obviously, given the urgency of a kidnapping, Trucy was hyperfocused on- OOOOH! A BAKERY!

“You know what, I’m fucking starving, I’m sure Sunny can survive a kidnapping.”

The entire Party nodded along. Screw that guy! It was time for some sweet treats!

On the other side of… This place that the Author forgot the name of because she hasn’t read Pursuit in like, a year… Did you know that Pursuit was one of the inspirations for LIBERA? It’s true! She found it so comedic that she just had to start writing her own fanfic!

“My Sunshine! You’re finally back to me! I was so worried about you!” Incel Cloud Strife gave him a pat-pat on the shoulders.

“Man, who the FUCK are you?”

“Sunny! Language!… What do you mean who am I? I’m your big brother, Hero, silly!”

Holy fuck!? The man, the myth, the breedable legend himself Hero was Incel Cloud Strife!? This universe blew chunks!

“Now, Sunny. It’s time for breakf-“

“I’m sorry to interrupt you Hero, if you still even remember that name-“

“Why would I-“

“But I’m afraid you’ve been misinformed. I am not here to be your little brother, nor have you brought here the individual you assume. Although, you have indeed brought Sunny.”

“Sunny, what are you talking-“

“We have all been called here, to a universe of sounds and smells, vague direction and little fortune, you do not even realise you are trapped within the confines of the story. Your lust for Mari’s affections has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of your Sunny through dreams and delusions, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach. But you will never find-“

Hero stabbed Sunny with a blade! Yeowch! Good thing he was BTTHRWQWAEHTS Sunny! He hardly felt any pain. So, he just pulled the blade out without consequence!

“Wh-What..? Why aren’t you… Bleeding?”

“Join my crew.”

“Huh!?”

“Me and my crew! We’re going to the Grand Line to find the One Piece! So I can become… THE KING OF THE… No, no, sorry, wrong adventure. That’s a potential future adventure! We’re going through multiverses to find recurring gags and track down the source of these kinds of fractal things so we can SAVE THE MULTIVERSE from some kind of threat! So, you kinda gotta help us if you ever wanna see your Sunny again.”

“You really expect me to believe that?”

“It’s what Mari wants you to do.”

“I WILL NOT STRAY FROM YOUR SIDE UNTIL WE HAVE SAVED THE MULTIVERSE.”

Hero (Pursuit) joined Sunny’s Party!

“That was easy… Well, uh… We kinda can’t do anything until Trucy finds us, because they’re the one who can open the distortions into the Nexus that connects all of our worlds together… So… Guess we have some time to kill.”

“That, we do… And I know just how to spend it~”

“Wow! That doesn’t sound sexually charged at all! I can’t wait for this implication to amount to nothing but a completely innocent scene where we’re just spending quality time together!”

Trucy was hard at work investigating the kidnapping of 1 Sunny Succzuki (he had his name legally changed after murdering his mother. don’t ask how.) And of course, you couldn’t investigate on an empty stomach!

“Another mountain of croissants for the group of loons!” The bakery’s baker provided them with the baked goods they had baked.

But as Trucy picked up a croissant to eat, yes, they wanted to take this croissant and eat it, believe it or not… There was a strange anomaly on this snack… It was a weird black patch that read “TALK 2 ME NOW”. It was a weird thing to read on a snack, so they just ate it and moved onto the next one… There was a black path on this one that read “4 FUCKS SAKE”.

This was all too confusing! So Trucy picked up another croissant and this one didn’t have any black spots on it! Finally!

Mari looked at her croissant and sighed. “Who the fuck wrote ‘7 EH, WRONG PERSON’ on my croissant.”

“No way.” Aubrey chuckled. “Mine says ‘1 REALLY? AGAIN?’ crazy, huh?”

But then, Trucy put on their detective hat…. 2,4,7,1..? And those words, what could they mean? Perhaps if she took the first letter of each croissant… C, C, C, C… a C for each croissant… No, no. That wasn’t it! What about the first letter of each black spot? M,F,E,R?

2471, motherfucker..?

AHA! AN ADDRESS!

2471 MOTHERFUCKER LANE!

“Good God! EVERYONE! GRAB A BAGUETTE DU PAIN! WE’VE GOT AN ORDER TO FILL!”

Ding Dong!

I’ma let you finish but-

Ding Dong!

I’ma-

Ding Dong!

I-

Ding Dong!

I’ma let you finish but-

Ding Dong!

Trucy bust down the door!

“JUSTICE WILL BE SWIFT! JUSTICE WILL BE PAINFUL! IT WILL BE DELICIOUS!”

“Oh, hey Trucy! I’m just playing Mario Kart with Hero!” Sunny said as he ploughed Hero

with a red shell! Hey, look! He was right!

“…Hang on. Trucy?”

“Yeah…?”

“Was that a fucking RWBY quote?”

“Calm your tits, it’s a good quote. I thought you got fucking kidnapped.”

“I did! But Hero’s cool. He just does what Mari wants him to do!”

The Mari of the group spoke up. “I want a NiCola(TM).”

Hero looked at Mari… And then his eyes sparkled. “Mari! You’re back!” Oooooooh, he said the liiiiiine~ “I’ll do whatever you want, my beloved!” And then, pulling a Sunny, Hero casually broke through reality itself to summon a NiCola(TM) from Night City…..

But the NiCola(TM) was EVIL!!! INFESTED WITH FRACTALS!!! AND IT TURNED INTO…

NICOLA, THE QUENCHER OF THE THIRST OF DESTRUCTION!

You remember it by now-

Oh, nevermind, Mari drank it anyway…

THE QUENCHER OF THE THIRST OF DESTRUCTION WAS DEFEATED!

Sunny gained 0 exp!

Trucy gained 0 exp!

Mari gained 2077 exp!

Aubrey gained 0 exp!

Moony gained 0 exp!

Basil gained 0 exp!

Hero gained 2077 exp!

“Oh. That was fast.” Mari huffed proudly, throwing away the can that once contained the entity.

Hero swooned like the malewife he was always intended to be. “Our Mari, ever radiant, ever elegant.”

“Hero, I just killed like, 300 people in my world, just for the hell of it.”

“And you must’ve looked radiant doing so!”

Of course, Hero just had to say this whilst she was licking up a dried patch of blood on her arm. She looked up at him like she was a chihuahua, her meal having been interrupted by Hero’s nagging.

“But of course, I can’t leave you on your own! I couldn’t bear to lose you again, Mari!”

Hero (Pursuit) joined the Party for realsies!

(Despite already agreeing to join Sunny… You piece of shit…)

“Be prepared to.” With a deep sigh and a hand through her hair, Mari coldly brushed him off. Sunny respected that, but was also extremely concerned because of whom she was saying it to.

“I don’t plan on!” He got all sing-songy. At least he didn’t resort to kidnapping and/or bloody violence!

Trucy brushed some fractal dust that totally existed the entire time, you just didn’t notice it, and turned to Sunny. “Good job, Sunny! Let’s get moving once again!”

“Right!” Sunny raised his hand. And Trucy was smart enough to recognise what it meant! They high-fived him.

The next Spacetime Distortion opened, and the entire Party hopped into the Nexus Tunnel.

“Y’know. We’ve got quite a group here!” Sunny look proudly at their allies. “But I can’t help but feel like something’s missing…”

Trucy’s eyes turned into a loading icon. “Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s almost as if we’re forgetting someone important… But we’ll see who that is once we enter the world!”

And enter the next world they did! Are you surprised! you should be.

In this new world… It was… Clouds… A bright sun… Bliss…

And they were all dressed like angels…

Okay, who the fuck pardoned Sunny’s sins before he died!? He wanted to go to hell and get yelled at by a funny fuckin' imp!

The sun… The bright sun…… Sunny held up his arms in the air!

“Sunny what the hell are you doing?” Trucy sounded done with his shit, but that wasn’t very fair! He was being… Reasonable today!

The sun descended quickly! He had praised it too hard! He covered his eye because it was just so damn bright!

AND THEN IT EMERGED!

(just kidding :3)

But then, the brightness got less bright, the sun found the brightness slider! Thank GOD!

And there… There floating… Him…

Kelsey… The God of Memes…

Trucy gasped, covering their mouth. “All Kel memes… Are canon…”

Kel chuckled. “Indeed. And that canonisation gave birth to myself. Kel, The God of Memes.”

Sunny was in a trance. God Kel was HOT hot. Was his face flushed!? He felt all blushy-crushy!

“Oh, Sunny.” Kel laughed, amused by Sunny. “You are adorable…”

“Oh my god, marry me.”

Wow, he’s so cool…

“Cutie, I think you got your speech and thoughts mixed up.”

“AAAAAAAAAAA HE CALLED ME CUTIE!!!!!!” NOW Sunny was definitely blushing.

“Sunny, I think you know what I want to do…”

“You want to….

Kiss me!?”

“But of course, be not afraid, my dear.”

Sunny slapped Basil out of the way (he wasn’t even in his way) and puckered right up for a smooch!

Trucy’s eyes wideded. “WAIT! SUNNY! DON’T!” They tried to stop the smooch! But it was too late! The kiss had been done…

Fractals appeared, though not enough to truly overtake Kel’s Godly form…

“Sunny! That was a recurring gag! We’re in danger!”

“Oh dear…” God Kel stroked his chin thoughtfully… “Well, you know what the say!”

“KEL, NO!”

“I fucking love recurring gags.”

The fractals started mauling Kel! THE GOD WAS OVERTAKEN!?!?!? NO!!!! SUNNY COULDN’T STAND FOR THIS! SUNNY WOULDN’T STAND FOR THIS!

“Wh4t’5 w70ng, 5unny? 1t’5 m3! G0d K3l ❗️ ”

No! That wasn’t Kel! That was a fractal creature using God Kel as a husk!”

“D1D 1 up53t y0u, my d347? 1’m 5077y…

N0t! 1 4m y0u7 G0d ❗️❗️❗️

N0w b0w ❗️❗️❗️ ”

K3L, G0D 0F L33TN355 4TT4CKED ❗️❗️❗️

“STAND BACK, EVERYONE! THIS IS MY FIGHT!” Sunny screamed to the Party. Because the Author was too lazy to write an entire xenoblade 3 party of 7 people each taking their turns individually.

“I won’t let you do this alone.” Trucy stood proud beside him, and held out their hand.

Sunny, begrudgingly (because he wanted to look cool on his own) took their hand… Their determination allowed them to fuse!!!

“Wait, this isn’t Same Old Story!” SUNCY lamented. “This is Jaldabaoth - Persona 5! Aw shit, maybe I was too hasty in telling everyone this was my fight!” SUNCY was agitated with itself. “I can’t configure the party mid-battle! What a pain!”

“L4T’5 533 JU5T H0W D4NK Y0U I5 ❗️ ”

oh shit it had attack voicelines !!!

G0D 0F L33TN355 U53D D4NK D1V1N3 JUDG3M3NT ❗️ 11 ❗️ 1

5UNCY w45 n0t d4nk 3n0ugh ❗️

5UNCY t00k 420 d4m4g3 ❗️ 1 ❗️

SUNCY used Truth is Absolute!

SUNCY’s mind cleared!

The Author no longer had to write numbers in place of letters!

“LAMP OIL, ROPE, BOMBS, YOU WANT IT?”

GOD OF LEETNESS (what a terrible fucking name) USED ITEM SHOP ❗️

“IT’S YOURS, MY FRIEND ❗️ ”

SUNCY was doused in OIL!

SUNCY was tied up!

SUNCY was blown up!

SUNCY took 69 damage!

SUNCY was set ablaze!

The blaze burned SUNCY’s ropes!

SUNCY used Sponsored Content!

SUNCY cleared their throat…

“Genshin Impact is an Open World Action-RPG game available on PC, Android, iOS and PlayStation 4 and 5. Step into a vast magical world now and start your journey on the continent of Teyvat where Seven kinds of elemental power surge. Right now in Genshin Impact Version 4.2, you can wish for the 5-star characters Kamisato Ayato and Cyno, as well as their respective weapons! And that’s not all, you can also play the complete Archon Quest Act 4, where you uncover the mysteries of the ancient prophecy that haunts Fontaine. Will the seawater rise and dissolve the people of Fontaine, or is this prophecy nothing but an ancient rumour made to spread widespread fear? So what are you waiting for? Download Genshin Impact and start your travels today!”

HOYOVERSE arrived with support!

SUNCY was healed!

SUNCY’s stats increased dramatically!!!

HOYOVERSE dropped FIERY RAIN!!!

GOD OF LEETNESS took 1000 damage ❗️

GOD OF LEETNESS was set ablaze ❗️

“THE TRIAL OF THE GODS.”

GOD OF LEETNESS SMOKED THAT ZAZA ❗️❗️❗️😂😂😂

jesus christ…

GOD OF LEETNESS FAILED TO OUTSMOKE THE DOGG ❗️❗️❗️

GOD OF LEETNESS SMOKED OUT ❗️❗️❗️

SUNCY used Reap and Sew!

GOD OF LEETNESS took 2721 damage

GOD OF LEETNESS’ blaze burned the seeds that sprouted

“THE TRIAL OF THE GODS.”

GOD OF LEETNESS SMOKED THAT ZAZA❗️❗️❗️😂😂😂

GOD OF LEETNESS OUTSMOKED THE DOGG❗️❗️❗️

SMOKE COVERED THE BATTLEFIELD❗️❗️❗️😂😂😂❗️❗️❗️😂😂😂❗️❗️❗️😂😂😂

SUNCY took 999999999999999999999999999 damage!!!

SUNCY fell…

“D0 y0u s33 n0w? Th3 F74ct4l5 gr4nt un1m4g1n4ble p0w37. M3m35 4nd f74ct4l5 c0mb1n3d 4r3 un5t0pp4bl3!”

Sunny and Trucy lay defeated on the ground…

“We… Failed…” Sunny weakly groaned, feeling the urge to cry.

“I thought… Fusion would be enough… But he’s… He’s too much…” Trucy apologetically faced Sunny. “I’m sorry… Sunny…”

“MAAAAAAASTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!” A feminine voice screamed.

“M-Master!?” Sunny’s voice stronger, purely because he was just THAT confused!

A catgirl wearing all-black with black hair and black cat features jumped from a Spacetime Distortion and pummelled THE GOD OF LEETNESS with a very very powerful step! She hopped down and helped Sunny and Trucy get up, then she gave Sunny a very big hug!

“What the? Who are you?” Sunny tried to struggle his way out of the hug. This was a girl hug, and that meant cooties.

“Mm? Wha d’you mean? It’s Me! Wo! Mewo!”

…

Sunny looked at the Author, who was currently snacking on a cupcake.

“Wot” She said with a British accent, because she was British. Which accent, you ask? Whichever one’s funnier.”

“Why is Mari’s cat a catgirl?”

“Becuz I thought it was cute.”

“Really?”

“Yup.”

“…She’s not gonna come into me like Moony almost did, is she?”

“Nah.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I didn’t make Moony that way.”

“Then who did?”

“…The one who wrote her initially..?”

“Oh, shit, yeah, stupid question.”

Sunny gave Mewo the headpats she deserved, she may have been a big girl now, but everyone loves headpats! Go headpat someone right now! I’m waiting!

Mewo purred, she was very pleased. Sunny took it as a sign that

Mewo (Catgirl) joined the Party!

Mewo started flying… Ah. She rose up high and held a huge ball of energy above her head!

“EVERYNYAN! LEND ME NYA POWER!”

The entire Party raised their arms, lending Mewo their strength! This just could be it… But… Mewo need more! More power! But where? Whom?…

You.

Lend us your power!

Raise your arms! give me kudos Scream and shout! bookmark the fic Lend Mewo your strength! comment that you love it Help us defeat this False God! please recommend it to your friends So we don’t lose this fight! please follow me on twitter @HelloImXion i’m begging you I know you can do it!

The power! It was increasing! You did it!

How could Sunny tell? Because Persona 5 - Our Beginning started playing!

Mewo held the massive energy ball, now infused with the power of both Fic and Reader combined! Fucking lazy Author couldn’t even be arsed to add her own power.

Charging the ball, Mewo prepared the final attack!

Here it came! The ultimate strike!

A FUCKING GUN!

Mewo shot GOD OF LEETNESS through the face.

GOD OF LEETNESS took 115,792,089,237,316,195,423,570,985,008,687,907,853,269,984,665,640,564,039,457,584,007,913,129,639,935 damage!!!

GOD OF LEETNESS was defeated!

Sunny gained 69420 exp!

Trucy gained 69420 exp!

Mari gained 69420 exp!

Aubrey gained 69420 exp!

Moony gained 69420 exp!

Basil gained 69420 exp!

Hero gained 69420 exp!

Mewo gained 69420 exp!

God Kel fell down into Sunny’s arms, his power of canon memes having been drained by the now fading fractals.

“S-Sunny…”

“I’m here, Kel… I’m here.”

“I have seen… So, so many different timelines, universes, realities… And in all of them… One thing… One single thing never changed, Sunny.”

“What is it, Kel? You can tell me.”

“Sunny… Sunny.. I…”

“Go on…”

“I always loved you. But…. I could… I could never be certain if-“

“I love you too, Kel.”

“You.. You do..? You really do?”

“I do, Kel. I do.”

“Sunny…” He smiled. He smiled so wide. “Am I… Am I pretty?”

Sunny chuckled as tears fell down his cheek. “You’re the prettiest boy in this whole damn website, Kel.”

“I’m… I’m so happy. I thought… I’d… I’d always just be a concept to you… Something mortals could never comprehend but… I-” He coughed. “I always wished… You’d find me. The canon me.”

“I finally found you… My Kel. I’m sorry I took so long.”

“Don’t… Don’t apologise..! Don’t you dare apologise to me..! It’s not your fault..! You… You couldn’t have known.” Slowly, he started to fade away, into little red and black particles.

“Kel…”

“I’m… I’m the happiest boy in this whole website… No… In the entire Internet. And it’s all… Because of you, my Sunny.” His legs had faded away.

“Kel, I… I’m not ready to let you go.. I just found you. I can’t lose you…”

“I’m sorry, Sunny… But you have to stay strong. You have to stay strong for me. Promise me, Sunny.” His stomach had faded away.

“Kel, I c-“

“Promise me.” His arms had faded away.

“…I promise you, my love. I will… I will never give up.”

“Thank you… Thank you so much…” His chest had faded away…

“Kel…”

“I’m… So happy…”

Before his head could fade away, Sunny kissed him on the lips. He didn’t care for the fractals! He didn’t care if this would screw everything up again! To Hell with it all! The least he deserved was one last kiss with his true love! Was that such a sin!? In some cultures maybe! But he wasn’t a part of those stupid cultures! He was just a boy. In love with another boy. Who just so happened to be a God through no fault of his own.

When their lips parted, Kel smiled one last time.

“Sunny… I love you.”

And he was gone… Just like that…

Kel (God) joined the Party!

“Trucy… I think we’re ready.”

“Sunny, you’re still crying-“

“We will press on! We will find the source of the fractals and we will make him pay!”

“Or they… Also, you really don’t need to cry, Kel is right-“

“Come on, Trucy! There’s no time to waste! Time is ticking! And every second we wait, someone else does a recurring gag!”

“Fine. You better wipe those tears before we get there, otherwise the final boss will think we’re a bunch of pussies.”

Mari intruded upon the chat and laughed. “Well” she began, looking at Trucy and popping the collar of her angelic outfit, “like they say,” everyone waits in anticipation, “u are what u eat.” Trucy dies instantly, the Party cheers, obama is there,

Obama (Barack) has joined the Party!

…

Obama (Barack) was kicked from the Party!

“I’ll get my Sunny back one way or another.” Hero and Basil said simultaneously, giving each other death glares and holding up their respective weapons.

Aubrey chuckled. “Honestly, I agree with Mari, shocker I know. You are what you eat, and I don’t doubt she’s eaten a lot of it.”

Mari stared. She stared hard. “I was joking.”

“Yeah I… I got that I was just… Nevermind.”

Moony stared at Mewo… “Can I-“

“NO YOU MAY NOT.” Sunny and Trucy yelled in tandem, frightening the poor cat.

“NYA! Oooh… So loud… Mah ears…”

“Sunny.” Kel chuckled with his sexy god voice. “After this is all over, I’m gonna show you the real meaning of Christmas.”

“WELL, LET’S GO!” That single paragraph gave Sunny such power that he opened a Spacetime Distortion of his own and sucked everyone into it, especially Kel ;)

They ventured further into the Nexus… The tunnel around them lost its rainbow, it all dulled… Just where were they going?

“Hey, Sunny… Doesn’t this remind you of…”

“Of Discord! That’s it! They were heading back to Discord!”

“No… It doesn’t seem like we’re going off-site…”

At the end of the tunnel, there was only darkness…

But then… They emerged into the Final World.

The AO3 page of CheeseCheese15.

“Dear God!” Trucy screamed! “Sunny! This is a mistake! We have to leave! Now!”

“CheeseCheese15…? Wait… Isn’t that the one who sent Niko from Oneshot to our world!?… Oh, that’s why they sent Niko! I get it now!”

Mari raised an eyebrow. “That… Was the brand of the Air Conditioning unit that fell… The one that got Sunny caught and… And Kel said…”

“I fucking love air conditioning.” God Kel spoke solemnly… “It seems our lives have been toyed with by a being other than our gracious Author…”

“The only one allowed to toy with Sunny’s life is ME!” Basil yelled, which Hero took offence to!

“Not if I’m protecting him! From fiends like you!”

“I miss the realm of unexistence… Why did Father put me into this world…”

Aubrey looked down at little Moony. “Wait, Father…? Who was it that… Created you?”

“I did.” A voice boomed below them… Coming from a tiny slice of cheese?

“NYAWA!?!?” Mewo jumped back and hissed! “THE CHEESE! IT TAAAALKED!”

“Yes. I did.” The Cheese cackled as it floated up into the air. “I don’t think we’ve been properly acquainted.

My name is CheeseCheese15.

But you can call me…

THE ANTAGONIST!

And I’m sure you’re all just dying to ask me questions! So go ahead, ask your little hearts out!”

“It really was you… Wasn’t it…” Trucy’s breathing picked up! It was shocking they were breathing at all. “You’re the one who’s been messing with these worlds.”

“Indeed I have… And it was all because-… Wait, hang on. Who the hell are you again?”

“Me..? Uh… Trucy.”

“Mari really did add a new fucking OC to her OMORI fic…”

“What? No! I’m The Absolute Truth of the Universe Itself!”

“Ah… But girlified. It’s a real bad habit of Mari’s, as I can see from Mewo but hell, that really was Mommy Hazuku, I’ll give her that.”

“Father!” Moony yelled, she was upset! “Why would you hurt them!? They’re my friends!”

“What the hell! I never told Mari she could expose my totally real joke selfcest fanfic that DEFNITELY wasn't just made up for the sake of comedy and is ABSOLUTELY a real thing! And these things? Your friends!? Don’t make me laugh!”

A horrible crackling came from within CheeseCheese15’s lactose form.

“I’ll show you what REAL FRIENDS are!!!”

It sprouted three arms from it left, right and back. Using two of those arms to hold itself up, despite its short legs coming from the bottom. On its face, it grinned a wicked smile. Kinda like :) but more malicious.

“WHEN I TEAR YOURS TO BLOODY PIECES!!!”

CheeseCheese15 attacked!!!

“no need to go over complex” - CheeseCheese15

“Don’t think I haven’t caught on to your little special gimmick, too!”

CheeseCheese15 disabled FUSION!

“You won’t be getting any more powerful in MY WORLD!!!”

CheeseCheese15 used Hyperspeed!

CheeseCheese15’s evasion rose dramatically!!!

Trucy used Reap and Sew!

CheeseCheese15 avoided the attack!

Sunny used MLG trickshot!

He fucked it all up, the son of a bitch!

Sunny took 1 damage from sheer embarrassment!

Kel used WATCH THE MEMES!

CheeseCheese15 yelled “IN A MINUTE!!!”

Mari used Quickhack!

Please! That doesn’t work on biological beings!

Mewo used Fury Swipes!

CheeseCheese15 avoided by doing a cheesy jig!

Hero used I’ll Find Him!

Failed to identify any weak points on the enemy!

Basil used Pink, Fluffy Handcuffs!

CheeseCheese15’s arms were too slim to cuff!

Aubrey used Beatdown!

CheeseCheese15 held her back using its third arm!

Moony used Beg!

“Please! Stop! I know you wouldn’t hurt me! So don’t hurt them!”

“You HONESTLY think I care about you?”

CheeseCheese15 used Punt!

Moony was punted out of the battlefield!

“That Princess Punt collab really WAS good for something, huh!?”

Trucy used LABYRINTH Spoilers!

“Wow. I did NOT see that coming!”

But it had no effect on CheeseCheese15!

Sunny has been spoiled!

Mari has been spoiled!

Mewo has been spoiled!

Hero has been spoiled!

Basil has been spoiled!

Aubrey has been spoiled!

Kel used Coffee!

“Oh no you don’t! There’ll be no running OR gunning on my watch!”

CheeseCheese15 used Slice of Cheesecake!

Kel is Lactose Intolerant! (A meme made it so!)

Kel has The Shits!

Kel fled the battlefield to take a shit!

Trucy used BS of the Author!

“No Bullshit on my watch! I have divine protection!”

But it failed!

Sunny used Speedrun Strats!

CheeseCheese15 moved out of the way an hour before he landed!

Mari (begrudgingly) used a Gun!

CheeseCheese15 grabbed the bullets out of the air and threw them back, Matrix-style!

Mari took 362 damage!

Mewo used Shadow-Blending!

But CheeseCheese15 wasn’t a fucking idiot! (Shocking.)

Hero (Pursuit) used Exist!

CheeseCheese15 was unfazed!

Basil used Slice!

CheeseCheese15 was already sliced!

Aubrey used Bat Throw!

CheeseCheese15 took the bat and chucked it back!

Aubrey took 299 damage!

“I think we all got off on the wrong foot! How about a snack?”

CheeseCheese15 used Full Cheesecake!

Mewo is Lactose Intolerant!

Mewo fled the battlefield!

Aubrey is Lactose Intolerant!

Aubrey fled the battlefield!

“And while I’m at it…”

CheeseCheese15 got another turn!

“I learned this from a meme Mari sent!”

CheeseCheese15 used Quickhack!

Mari’s optics were fried!

Mari collapsed!

“And you know what, let’s just make this quick.”

CheeseCheese15 got another turn!

CheeseCheese15 used Mimic!

CheeseCheese15 mimicked Sunny’s voice!

“Help! Hero! Basil! He’s got me tied up over here! Come while he’s distracted!”

Hero was furious! “I’LL SAVE YOU, SUNNY!”

Basil was furious! “Not if I save him FIRST!”

Hero fled the battlefield!

Basil fled the battlefield!

“Oh look! The duo’s all alone now! Do I have JUST the attack for YOU!”

CheeseCheese15 got another turn!

CheeseCheese15 used Poisonous Cheese!

Oh my god! It’s Bubble from The Amazing Digital Circus! I promise this reference is for a proper reason! Inside joke! I didn’t just throw this in because I could I swear!

Bubble ate the Poisonous Cheese!

CheeseCheese15 stared blankly at its hands…

“YOU PARASITE!”

With force rivalling that of the Gods, CheeseCheese15 threw his arm into Bubble, popping it, and then continuing forth from the sheer force, mowing down the Party!

Sunny took 362 damage!

Sunny was Knocked Down!

Trucy took 387 damage!

Trucy was Knocked Down!

“Oh no! Look at that! You’ve LOST!” CheeseCheese15 cackled. “I’m such a good antagonist! GoodBYE!”

Sunny and Trucy were punted into the sky!

“Tru…cy….” Sunny reached out with an aching arm.

“I’m sorry… Sunny… I thought we’d… Be able to do this… To be able to save… That AU…”

“What AU..?”

“The… Mari Hooligan Leader AU that the Author wanted to write… I thought we could save it…”

“We’re doing this… For the Author..?”

“I just… Didn’t want to let her down…”

“Trucy… How could she ever be… Disappointed in you? You’re her creation. I’m sure she’s proud of you… No matter what…”

“That… Heh… That means so much to me, Sunny. Thank you. So much…”

Trucy grabbed onto Sunny’s hand….!

And they defied CheeseCheese15’s rule!!!

SUNCY fell down upon CheeseCheese15, plunging the Roblox Sword down upon it!!!!

“WHAAAAT!?” It screamed! “HEY! I SAID… NO… Bullshit…” With one last groan…

CheeseCheese15 was defeated.

SUNCY stood… Catching their breath… Watching CheeseCheese15 plummet to the ground… Clawing into the ground for dear life before slowly fading dark…

Things were quiet for a moment…

But then…

It’s eyes opened…

It shook wildly..!

Its head convulsed.

And Fractals surrounded its form.

And it transformed.

CHEESECHEESE15, THE CHOSEN ANTAGONIST ATTACKED!!!

“no need to go over complex” - CheeseCheese15

“BRING US BACK TO OUR UNIVERSE!” SUNCY yelled, probably a niche reference or something.

THE CHOSEN ANTAGONIST summoned all sorts of Fractal monsters to attack!

SUNCY fought them off, but they were getting real tired of this whole fighting shit! They were supposed to be a comedy crackfic! Not an action crackfic!

But where was the comedy in this situation? All they could do was fight the fractals!

Aha! That was it!!!!

Everything went black in an instant!

And SUNCY were on stage!

“Roight. Let me tell you a real funny story, roight.” It was their time to shine!

“So, I was in hospital, roight. And I had somethin’ real important tell me friends, roight? So I goes to me mate Basil’s room, and I says to ‘em.

‘I have to tell yous somethin’.’

and they all goes

‘roight? wot is it then?’

and i tells ‘em, i says, i says.

‘i’m gay.’

and they all just look at me, roight?”

Fractals started appearing.

“And then me dead sister goes

‘WOT the FUCK’, roight?

and she’s all pissed at me.

And she gets so pissed that she breaks the fabric of reality, roight?

And some nurse goes ‘oi, watch your fuckin language, mate’ aye?”

Even more fractals appeared.

“And THEN sister’s loike,

‘mate, you gotta tell ‘em what u did’

and I’m loike

‘but I already told ‘em I’m gay!’

and she goes

‘MATE.

YOU FUCKIN KILLED ME!’”

The full house of Fractals laughed and cheered! But then it all came to an end… And the lost little Fractals had nowhere to go…

So they implanted themself into the fucking Fractal monster of cheese…

Dealing Insane Damage!!!

CHEESECHEESE15, THE CHOSEN ANTAGONIST WAS ANNIHILATED!

Enough.

Enough? What do you mean enough? What! SUNCY didn’t think that!

I know, I did.

Who are you? Who’s invading our mind!?

Me. Your God. Your Queen.

Oh fuck Queen Elizabeth II’s back from the fucking dead!

No! The Author you dimwits!

Oh shit we pissed off the Author!

You were supposed to FIGHT Cheese, not fucking fracture him to oblivion!

Uh, sorry, it’s called playing smarter, not harder. It’s basically what you did when you used that glitch to duplicate souls in Dark Souls on your first playthrough because you got frustrated with Ornstein and Smough.

It is HARDLY like that.

Oh yes it is! And we’ll prove it! We’ll fight you right now!

really? you’ll fight me? you want to fight the literal fucking Author of this world?

yeah. BRING IT ON!

Myrcia attacked.

The Holy Choir sung a hymn of annihilation.

SUNCY used BullshitAttackThatOnlyAppearsOnceWhenConvenientAndNeverAgain!

Hey it came back!

It missed…. Some Bullshit attack that was!

Myrcia used Write.

Myrcia wrote about how SUNCY tripped on a rock and died.

SUNCY sped towards the Author at a blazing speed, readying their Sword for the ultimate strike! But as they ran along the uneven terrain, a particularly tough rock caught their foot! They keeled over and died in an instant!

Myrcia used Write.

Myrcia wrote about how SUNCY was revived, but both halves were on their best behaviour.

Sunny and Trucy were brought back to life by two very convenient phoenix feathers that just so happened to fall down upon their bodies. They felt the urge to behave!

“Okay… Okay… Oooookaaaaaayyyyy…” Myrcia frustratedly ran a hand through her hair. “This… This isn’t working.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Shouted Trucy in a panic!

“I told you to gather Hell’s All-Stars… You didn’t gather Ururun Wolf, Li’l Nyandam, Codename: Red Riding, Inumusha and Mecha-Bun.”

“Wait… So it’s wasn’t just some reference? It was actually meant to be… Them!?” Sunny’s eye widened! They had really fucked it up, huh?

“Also, you’re just not… You’re not funny anymore.”

“WHAT!? SAYS YOU!”

“Yeah, says me, I’m the fucking author.”

“You’re just talking to yourself!”

“I know! I’m being self-deprecating!”

“…Why? Why do you hate yourself so much?”

“Sunny, this isn’t a trauma dump, let’s wrap this fic up already.”

Trucy slowly figured things out. “So… The Mari Hooligan AU… YOU cancelled it..? Not Cheese?”

“Yeah, duh.”

“But… But why?”

“Because… It just didn’t work out, Trucy. I tried, and I tried… But I just couldn’t figure it out. I’m sorry.”

“M…Me too. I’m sorry… I jumped to a conclusion… And caused Fractals to appear all across AO3. I’m meant to be the Absolute Truth… Yet even I…”

“Don’t worry about it, you two. You never actually went anywhere!”

“huh.”

“What? You think I’d really LET you two of all people loose into the actual genuine website? Are you both stupid? This has all been self-contained in a single fic, I just simulated the other fics.”

“…Good call, Author… But… The Fractals, what about them?”

“Good point…” Myrcia snapped her fingers, summoning Hero from the original One-Shot. “Mari will never love you.” The knowledge was implanted directly into his mind, and with it, he cried his tears of reality fixing-bullshit!

Sunny ate a few out of the air like a dog drinking from a water hose. He felt himself heal his Heart! Yay! Healing!

“oooooough… my head…” CheeseCheese15 whined as he recovered from the Fractals.

“Go home, Cheese.” Myrcia sent CheeseCheese15 very far away. “Well… I’ll fix up things on this end. I’m sending you two back home.”

“Wait!” Sunny shouted with a pleading tone in his voice. “But what about Mari!? I did all of this because I thought it would lead to Mari at the end!? What about the foreshadowing.”

“…I…am Mari…You know, my…middle name…”

“oh…”

“But fine, if it keeps you from seeking out alternate realities, I’ll return Mari to life. Huh… Maybe next time you and Hero can steal Joe Biden’s CS:GO crates?… Anyway. There, happy ending. Enjoy.”

It was another beautiful day in Faraway Town! The Graves residence had been long abandoned by the original residents, and with their parents out of the picture, Sunny and Mari lived happily!

“Little brother!” Mari called out from downstairs. “I’m thinking of pulling a Furina Genshin Impact and making macaroni for dinner tonight! Is that alright? I’ll also add some chicken strips!”

“Yeah, that’s cool!” Sunny responded as he epicly gamed on CS:GO, shooting up those naughty naughty terrorists with Hero.

“Sunny! On your right!” Hero shouted down the microphone. Sunny quickly turned and shooty-bang-banged that naughty naughty terrorist. He was such an epic gamer.

“Sunny!” Mari called out again. “Dinner’s ready!”

Woah! That felt fast! Sunny paused the game and went downstairs to eat his macaroni with the chicken strips…

But then…

He looked at the kitchen counter…

And saw a perfectly cut slice of cheese…

…

…

…

…

“I’M BAAAACK!”

“AAAAAAAAAA”

Afterword

so like hey it's me, yknow, the author.

just realised i never explained what fractals are

and so im just putting this here to say i'll literally never explain what they are

yeah im in my villain era

but im also in my era where i think everything i write is garbage

its really exhausting not being proud of what you put out, you know?

feels like i spent a few days wasting my time

i always try to make things like 

the best they can be

but sometimes i think that mindset just destroys me mentally

because im trying to be like THE BEST possible

but i dont think even in the right sort of mindset to try and do things THE BEST you know?

you can probably tell that some things are rushed but i hope you enjoyed it at least somewhat

should i write something simpler next time? something shorter?

i'd like to hear your feedback, but just be nice about it

if i see anything non-constructive i'll cry

im being dead serious i WILL cry.