Chapter Text
i
This isn't the first time Leah's snuck into a hotel that at team she's not part of is staying in, but from how badly she messed it up she feels like it.
No. 1: she'd literally made eye contact with Mary in the lobby, the goalkeeper raising her eyebrows but not asking questions.
No 2: she went to the wrong floor in her anticipation to finally see her girlfriend again and absolutely terrified some poor kid by marching up to her door, checking her phone, and then abruptly turning and hurrying back towards the lifts.
No 3: she forgot to bring any clothes, so she's wearing Manchester United kit.
No 4: she really, really does not want to leave.
Alessia is stirring gently beside her, disturbed by Leah moving around and the quiet beep of her alarm. The striker groans, shifting on the pillows and then burying her head in Leah's neck.
"S'not morning yet, is it?"
Leah runs a hand through her hair. "Unfortunately. I need to go."
Alessia's hands tighten around her shirt, shaking her head.
"No you don't." She peers over Leah's shoulder. "It's only six! I knew it wasn't morning."
"Six is the morning, love," Leah chuckles, untangling Alessia's hair with gentle fingers. "Come on, I need to get back home, and your coach leaves in three hours. Mary's already seen me; we don't want anyone else spotting me."
Alessia doesn't even reply, she just wraps her arms around Leah's neck and tangles their legs together, going full koala-mode. The defender laughs, relenting and pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Five more minutes."
"Ten."
"Five."
"Lee."
"You know I can't stay long. Five more minutes and then I need to go and shower."
"I suppose you'll be wanting to borrow some more of my clothes?" Alessia grins up at her. "There's a price."
Leah kisses her. "And what's that?"
"Ten minutes."
The English captain rolls her eyes, but she doesn't stop Alessia from climbing on top of her properly when she rolls onto her back, settling her hands over the striker's spine and dusting a kiss to the top of her head as she tucks it under Leah's chin. It feels a bit like gold-dust-magic that their second games of the season line up so that they're both in London, close enough for Leah to drive over and come to see her, close enough for them to just be, because it'd only been two weeks but God had she missed her.
"Alright, ten minutes is up," Leah says, sliding neatly out of Alessia's hold. "I won't be long."
Alessia grumbles but doesn't keep hold of her, instead sitting up and pulling the duvet around her shoulders. She looks perfect sitting there, hair down one shoulder and smiling, sleep creasing the corner of her eyes, a scattering of marks across her collarbone from last night that Leah had to try very hard not to put any higher. Leah's knees go weak.
"I love you," she tells her, and then grabs a towel. When she emerges there's a pile of clothes folded on the counter - a Nike hoodie, a UNC training shirt, and a pair of sweats that Leah recognises as her own. She dresses quickly, brushes her hair, puts on a bit of makeup, and then hurries back out, wanting Alessia back in her arms for as long as possible.
"Are you giving back clothes you stole from me?" She asks, spinning the Manchester United player into a hug and pressing her face into her shoulder. Alessia shrugs.
"You practically lit on fire wearing a Red Devils shirt last night, so I thought it would be kind," she explains. "Do you really have to go? It's still half an hour until anyone gets up, even the weird people who do workouts after gameday."
"I don't know. I just don't want to get caught, Less."
"I know." Alessia holds her a little tighter. "Can I at least walk you to your car? I could come back, nobody would miss me ... people would miss me, wouldn't they?"
"They would. But I'd like it if you walk me out."
She packs up her things into the small bag she brought: phone, wallet, keys, and then hugs Alessia into her side, hard, stealing a last kiss as she reaches for the door handle. Their schedules don't line up again until they play each other in November, an event she's honestly not looking forward to. They'll find time, but it'll be hard. She wishes it was easier.
"I'll call you tomorrow." Alessia holds the door open for her with a grin. She lingers by Leah's car, shuffling from foot to foot. The look on her face is enough to make Leah want to transfer to United and stay for a bit longer. "Love you."
"Love you too." She reaches out for a short, friendly, platonic hug, pressing a secret kiss to the underside of her jaw as she does so, whispering a secret 'love you' into her ear as she pulls away. Alessia goes a soft pink and touches the back of her hand.
Then she climbs into her car and she has to drive away, and Alessia slopes back into the hotel alone, already wishing for tomorrow evening when Leah's face will pop up on FaceTime.
ii
"Ella, come on, we've got media." Alessia tugs at her best friend's arm impatiently. "Get off your phone. Honestly!"
"Sorry, Mum," Ella drawls, tucking her phone away with a long-suffering sigh. They walk out of the lounge and go to grab their England-branded jackets that they always have to wear for media. Alessia doesn't mind it, but she wishes she could keep wearing Leah's hoodie instead.
The interviews go well and Alessia's face hurts from laughing afterwards; she always ends up giggling when she's with Ella. They have so many inside jokes, so many references, so many ways to make each other smile. Ella is still chuckling when they're kicked out. It's as they're passing the lounge again, off to drop off their jackets this time, when Alessia's laugh dies out.
"You're sure you aren't dating someone? You were giving your phone proper heart-eyes just then," Keira is saying, her voice teasing. Alessia recognises Leah's snort almost immediately.
"Of course I'm not, Kei. It was a photo of a dog."
"But-"
"I'm not," Leah says firmly, and then laughs. "Honestly, Keira, you know I'm too busy with captaining and shit. I don't want to be dating right now."
For some reason, the way she says it sends a wave of doubt to Alessia's heart. She knows Leah's lying, trying to throw Keira off their scent, but it hurts. Maybe Leah is telling the truth? Maybe she doesn't want to be dating? She is busy ... is Alessia taking up her time? Is that why she wants to stay secret, because she wants to stay captain?
"Less?" Ella smiles at her expectantly. "What's up?"
"N-nothing." She shrugs off her jacket. "Want to go and play Fifa? I'm bored."
Ella agrees and they head off to the games room still joking with each other, but no amount of beating her best friend at the video game pushes the thought from Alessia's head. The seeds of doubt have been planted.
She thinks about it through dinner, through a last meeting before their game tomorrow, as she showers and changes for bed and brews herself some tea, as she flicks aimlessly through the channels on the TV, trying to distract herself. She thinks about it as she dries her hair and plugs in her phone. She thinks about it as she yawns and sighs and goes to bed.
She thinks about it as Leah knocks softly on the door and then lets herself in with the spare card.
She thinks about it as Leah puts the chain on the door and slips into bed behind her, pulling Alessia backwards into her. She thinks about it as Leah wraps her arms around her and settles with a little sigh.
"You want to talk about it?" The defender asks gently. "I know you're not asleep, Less, I can hear the cogs turning in your brain."
"I'm fine," Alessia says sourly, shifting away into the cold sheets. "I thought you were too busy with captaining and shit to come tonight."
It's a low blow; she knows from Leah's hissed inhale that it affected her, but she doesn't loosen her grip or move away. Instead she brushes a kiss to Alessia's hair.
"I'm never too busy for you," she murmurs, voice slow and sweet. "I promise." Alessia wants to believe her, wants to sink into the comfortable embrace and sleep in her girlfriend's arms, but her brain refuses to let her.
"That's not what you told Keira," she points out sourly. "She thinks you don't want to be dating. So, tell me, Leah, do you want to be dating?"
Leah frowns and sits up, reaching over to turn on the bedside lamp. "Lessi, you didn't seriously believe what you heard, did you? I've snuck into your room for the past week to sleep with you. I've probably kissed you more times than I've seen some of the girls at camp. And you think I don't want to be dating?"
"Why did you say it, then?"
"I don't know! To make it convincing or something? Do you want people finding out? Now? You came from media when I said that, do you want to do a thousand interviews because our relationship got out?"
Alessia's voice is small. "No. I just ... I don't like hiding, Lee. I'm sorry. I don't want people finding out, but can't we tell the girls?"
"I-" Leah struggles visibly, tucking her arms around her own torso instead of her girlfriend's. "I'm sorry. I know you want to. I'm just so scared."
"Of what? Is it really so bad to be dating me and have people know?" Alessia's voice is gentle, but the defender's expression twists, and her tone is uncharacteristically hard when she replies.
"It's not all about you, Alessia," she snaps. "As a matter of fact, I want nothing more than to have people know you're mine, but sometimes it's better to hide. I want to keep this special, I don't want everyone picking us to pieces. It's hard enough without the media attention."
"We're hard?"
"Surely you don't find the distance easy? I want to be in this relationship, I love you, but it could be easier, couldn't it? Don't you think? Media would just make that worse."
Alessia sighs and leans against the wall. "Yeah."
"I want to be dating you," Leah whispers. "I promise."
She doesn't reply. The older blonde shivers, a treacherous tear snaking down her cheek.
"Lessi, I'm sorry," she tries. "I think ... I think I'm going to go back to my room tonight. I don't want to keep arguing."
"I think that's a good idea," Alessia agrees, but she follows Leah to the door and tilts her chin up to kiss her softly. "I love you. Please don't forget that. Will you ... can you call me if you need me?"
"I'll call you."
"Promise?" She feels worse now, watching Leah leave. The defender nods.
"I promise."
The bed is cold to climb into after the door has shut again, and Alessia swears it's even colder when she wakes up the next morning without Leah by her side.