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“Rudolph Stieblitz! You are driving me CRAZY!” Louise Belcher shouted to her boyfriend as she forcefully slammed their apartment door behind her and stomped outside.
They had lived together as a couple in their own apartment for three months, with Louise helping her family with running Bob’s Burgers and Rudy beginning his second year of studying Marine Biology in college, and there hadn’t been any serious disagreements or arguments between them. They would playfully argue about which of them was supposed to bring out the garbage that weekend, or if they should adopt a fish together when their current apartment wasn’t large enough for a properly-sized aquarium that Rudy had insisted upon, but those arguments were never taken seriously by either of them and Louise loved living with Rudy. He was easy to be around. They liked watching Louise’s favorite Anime together, and learning how to cook vegan recipes from a cookbook that Rudy’s mother gave them when they moved in together.
Louise and Rudy loved living together and had never had a serious argument with each other, until thirty minutes earlier when Louise returned from working late at Bob’s Burgers.
Rudy was angry with Louise because when she’d done their laundry earlier that week she had forgotten to fold all their clothes and put everything away once she’d taken it out of their dryer. She had left their basket of clean laundry sitting on the floor in their bedroom for two days without going through it, and finally decided that it wouldn’t be worth all that unnecessary effort of folding and putting away their laundry when they would need to do another load in a few days. They could live out of their laundry basket of clean clothes until Thursday came around.
He was annoyed because he couldn’t find his favorite knitted sweater that he’d been planning to wear to college for his presentation on Marine Biology and Ocean Sustainability. Rudy always said that wearing it would bring him good luck. It had a flounder fish on it because that had been Rudy’s favorite species of fish since he was a child and he slept with Pancake every night. Bob had knitted it for Rudy and gifted it to him for his birthday last year.
Rudy told Louise that she was being selfish and irresponsible, and that she never considered anybody but herself.
Louise couldn’t understand why Rudy was being so emotional because he wasn’t able to wear his knitted flounder sweater to his college presentation. He could still give his presentation even if he wasn’t wearing his favorite sweater. That stupid flounder wasn’t going to help him with earning his Bachelor's degree in Marine Biology.
Rudy argued that Louise was purposefully ignoring his actual problem and instead choosing to be defensive and immature, and Louise told him that leaving their clean clothes in their laundry basket until Thursday wasn’t going to kill anybody. Her family had done that all the time when she was growing up, and her parents were too exhausted to finish folding their clean laundry or their household got too busy and distracting. She would help him find his knitted flounder sweater tomorrow morning before she would have to start getting ready for work.
Their disagreement about Louise forgetting to fold their clean laundry and leaving it in their laundry basket ended up escalating until both of them were shouting past each other and refusing to have an actual conversation.
Louise decided during the height of their argument that she was going to go on a walk to clear her head, and Rudy reminded her to bring a jacket along with her because it was freezing outside. Even when they were both angry at each other and having an argument Rudy was still thoughtful and worried about Louise’s safety. Louise was being stubborn and had furiously told Rudy that she was an adult and that she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself and remembering to bring a jacket along with her if she wanted to, before she walked out of their apartment and into the frigid air of that December evening.
She should have brought along her jacket with her.
Louise sighed as she walked down their quiet street to a nearby coffee shop where Rudy liked to go when he needed to finish his homework, and found that Louise’s presence was too distracting for him. He always told her that they had the most delicious hot chocolate that he’d ever tasted, even if he was allergic to chocolate. Louise was more of a coffee person.
Even if Louise thought that Rudy was being unreasonable in their argument about laundry and his knitted flounder sweater, she still hated that they weren’t on good terms when she’d left their apartment. Rudy was her boyfriend, but before that he was her best friend. She told him everything. She’d always talked to him when she was having an argument with her siblings or another friend from school, especially when they were younger and her teenage hormones were going absolutely crazy. Louise and Rudy had arguments before when they were stupid, emotional teenagers and neither of them thought about anything that they were going to say before they said it, but that had always been resolved when they would see each other at school and awkwardly sat next to each other in the cafeteria during lunch, both pretending that nothing had happened between them.
This was different.
Rudy was her boyfriend and her partner in life. They talked about everything with each other. Louise hated being emotionally vulnerable with other people and didn’t like admitting this even after over a decade of their friendship, but she loved Rudy more than she’d ever known she was capable of loving anybody outside of her family. She would be beyond devastated if she lost him. They’d shared so many memories together throughout their years of friendship and romance.
Louise arrived at Rudy’s favorite coffee shop and ordered a coffee for herself before ordering a hot chocolate to bring back for Rudy as well. It was too late in the evening for him to be drinking coffee but she wanted him to know that she was still thinking about him, even if they’d had an argument earlier that evening.
Louise sat down at a wooden table inside of the coffee shop and pulled out her cellphone. She had missed a text message from Rudy that told her to get home safely and saying that they’d talk more about their argument when she got back, but Louise didn’t feel like replying to him that very second. She still hadn’t forgotten Rudy’s hurtful comments from earlier that evening.
She took a sip of her coffee and opened up her father’s contact information without a second thought. Talking with him about her problems always made them feel more manageable, especially as she got older and became more willing to listen to his advice.
Bob answered her on the second ring. He sounded exhausted and for a second Louise was worried that she’d woken him up by accident, before realizing that it was only eight in the evening and her mother and father weren’t quite that old. They liked to stay up later to watch the old seventies movies that would play on a throwback channel, and that always had terrible special effects. “Louise? It’s kind of late for you to be calling me. What’s up?”
“Nothing. I was, uh—I don’t...” Louise sighed before she continued. “I got into an argument with Rudy and left our apartment to go for a walk and clear my head. It’s cold outside, and now I’m sitting by myself in a coffee shop and trying to avoid going back home to him, I guess?”
“Yeah, uh, I’m not surprised that it’s cold if you’re going for a walk outside in December. Hopefully you’re wearing a jacket,” Bob said. Louise cringed at her own stubbornness that had led her into this situation. “What was your argument about?”
“I don’t know,” Louise stared down at her coffee before she took another sip. “It was probably stupid. Rudy was angry because I forgot to fold and put away our clean laundry when I got it out of the dryer, and I ended up leaving it in a laundry basket in our bedroom because I was lazy. It’s been there for a few days. I thought I could wait until we do another load of laundry on Thursday to fold everything but Rudy said that I was being irresponsible. He couldn't find the flounder sweater that you knitted for his birthday last year. He said that I was being selfish and I said that he was an idiot for getting so upset with me about a stupid sweater... I-I guess it escalated from there.”
“You’re right, Louise. That, uh—that does sound stupid,” Bob said.
Louise rolled her eyes with a playful smile at Bob’s brutally honest response to their argument before she continued. “Did you and Mom ever get into serious arguments when we were younger? I don’t remember you arguing around us.”
“Not often. I think we tried to avoid having serious arguments with each other when you were around, because we didn’t want to stress you out with our relationship problems. God. Your mother and I would get into arguments about the stupidest crap. Do you remember that Valentine’s Day when we ended up spending all day arguing with each other because your mother tripped over a pile of dirty laundry on our bedroom floor, and I refused to clean it up? I should have just apologized to her and moved on. I guess it felt like a bigger deal, uh, when it was happening. You know, Louise, a lot of these arguments can feel like they’re relationship-ending when they’re happening and then you end up realizing they actually weren’t that big of a deal. That’s what happens when you spend all of your time around each other. You get into arguments about stupid crap that doesn't make any sense.”
“Like laundry?” Louise asked quietly as she looked down at her coffee and Rudy’s untouched hot chocolate that was sitting next to it. She hoped that it wouldn’t be too cold when she finally got back to Rudy.
“Exactly. It’s better to have an honest conversation instead of trying to insult each other or going to bed still feeling angry. Even if there is something that’s actually worth arguing about. Something important, like, uh—I don’t know? Taxes? It’s still better to have a conversation about it. Talk about what you’re feeling and try to understand their perspective. You shouldn’t stomp out of your apartment angrily whenever you and Rudy have a minor disagreement, or you and Rudy won’t... uh, that’s just not a healthy foundation for a serious relationship. I know that you love Rudy, so you should try talking to him about what happened between you instead of running away from him. And, uh, Louise? When I’m thinking back on all those years that your mother and I spent together? It’s all happy memories. I wouldn’t throw all that away over a stupid argument over forgetting to put our laundry away or who was supposed to take our car to the mechanic last week for a scheduled oil change.”
Louise smiled despite her crappy mood. “That last example sounded kind of personal, Dad. Trouble in paradise? But thank you for the advice, and for listening to my annoying twenty-two year old relationship problems. I guess I should probably start walking back and apologize to Rudy. I bought hot chocolate for him and I don’t want it getting cold.”
“That sounds like a good idea, Louise,” Bob replied warmly.
Louise stood up from where she’d been sitting and grabbed Rudy’s hot chocolate. “Goodbye, Dad. I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you.”
“I love you too, Louise.”
Louise shivered as she stepped outside and began walking back to her shared apartment with Rudy. As she walked she thought of what her father had said about his relationship with her mother, and how he only had happy memories of their relationship and their life together. Louise had so many happy memories of her relationship with Rudy that it would be impossible for her to remember all of them.
Louise remembered Rudy’s Bar Mitzvah at the Jewish Community Center, and how she surprised him by smashing a frosted vanilla cupcake in his face when he was in front of his extended family and he’d laughed so hard that he had an asthma attack. His eleventh birthday party where he’d invited all of his friends to go to the local aquarium with him so that they could celebrate, only for Rudy to learn that he was seriously allergic to starfish. Their very first adventure together when they were in fourth grade and they were assigned to be each other’s buddy on a school field trip, and they ended up sneaking away to explore the Amazon Room without getting caught. That was the day Louise had realized that Rudy was so much more than her wimpy classmate who’d eaten his own boogers until second grade and who seemed to be allergic to absolutely everything. He was her best friend. She hoped to spend the rest of her life with Rudy creating many more happy memories with each other. If not happy memories, then Louise would settle for entertaining.
Louise couldn’t believe that she’d almost lost her best friend and her favorite person in the world to an argument about laundry. Being an adult was stupid. She would have happily stayed forever in her childhood with Rudy, where everything was simple and they always got along with each other, but growing older with him could be fun, too.
When Louise returned to their apartment she found that their door was unlocked and Rudy was standing inside and waiting for her. He smiled when he realized that she’d arrived home safely.
“Louise! I’m glad you’re okay. I was worried when you didn’t respond to my texts. It’s so dark outside and you were all alone,” Rudy told her anxiously.
Louise found herself holding back her typical sarcastic responses about how she’d been gone for less than thirty minutes, and how she’d only walked down the street from their apartment. Rudy wouldn’t have any way of knowing that and she wanted her apology to him to be genuine. “Yeah, uh, I’m sorry. I should have texted you to let you know where I was going, and I shouldn’t have shouted at you like that, or said that you were an idiot. None of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t been too lazy to fold our laundry when I took it out of the dryer.”
Rudy sighed. “I’m sorry, too. I was being stupid. I think we both were, but especially me. I was anxious about how my presentation on Marine Biology and Ocean Sustainability ended up going... I guess, uh, I needed something to blame it on if I got a bad grade on that presentation. Like not being able to find my lucky sweater, so I couldn’t wear it during my presentation. That wasn’t your fault, and I shouldn’t have said you were selfish or irresponsible for forgetting to fold and put away our clean laundry. That’s, like, the stupidest possible reason to get angry at somebody. Not to mention the legal issues if we tried to break our year-long lease only three months into living together with no warning. Our landlord would kill us.”
“He totally would,” Louise laughed and felt her cheeks grow warmer. “Could you imagine if our relationship ended over an argument about putting away laundry? If that happened, I would never be able to get over it.”
“I would never be able to get over you either, Louise,” Rudy told her in a gentle whisper. He understood the true meaning behind Louise’s words. Louise blushed as she stared into his eyes.
“I—uh, I got you this hot chocolate as an apology. It’s probably room-temperature by now, though,” Louise shrugged and awkwardly shoved Rudy’s hot chocolate into his hands. She hated when she was emotionally impacted by people around her without having control over it, especially when it came to something as vulnerable as romantic love, and even after nearly a decade of being with Rudy she didn’t like him knowing how much power he truly had over her.
Even if it was obvious to anybody who knew them.
Rudy’s expression changed to a child-like joy when he realized that Louise had given him hot chocolate from his favorite coffee shop. “Room-temperature chocolate! That’s my favorite type of chocolate drink. Not hot enough to burn your mouth when you try to take a sip, and not cold enough to give you a brain freeze. Thanks, Louise!”
Louise laughed and pulled Rudy’s face closer to her own before she kissed him gently on the lips. He was adorable. She was incredibly lucky to have him in her life after so many years of friendship, and even luckier that she was able to call him her boyfriend.
“I love you, Rudolph Stieblitz.”