Archive of Our Own ^beta

Another week, another few runs of the Simulated Universe to suck Cypher dry of his resources. Gekko didn’t know why Cypher let the Express challenge the Simulated Universe whenever they wanted, considering every time they would go home with a shitton of link ropes and planar ornaments. On top of that, he would give a shitton of credits and gear if you do just 2 runs of any world. Every damn week. Needless to say, it was pretty obvious that Cypher was set on resources with how much he was willing to give out. 

Cypher had texted Gekko that there was a new world opened up that needed some testing. New world, new relics, new rewards. Time to make some credits in order to compensate for the hell of a shopping trip he, Phoenix and Jett took on the Xianzhou a week ago. Brimstone was concerned with how they spent that much, and quite honestly, Gekko didn’t know how it happened either. 

He dragged Phoenix, Jett and Iso with him—Killjoy was busy with trying to set up some gadget on the express, and Brimstone was busy with his old man bones. When Phoenix and Jett heard the words “new simulated universe world”, they basically jumped 50 feet vertically in the air from excitement. Well, ok, maybe 500 is an exaggeration. They would have definitely broken through the roof of the express if it was the hard truth. 

It took a total of 1 millisecond until Jett was up in Killjoy’s face, telling her to take the express to the GS Space Station. The second the express got there, Jett bolted for Cypher’s office where the simulated universe’s portal was set up. Straight through the guards, who don’t really guard shit, because Cypher lets practically anyone inside his office. Hell, that freaky Stellaron Hunter guy Omen? He had full access to the Simulated Universe—maybe even more than Gekko or any of the Express crew had. Boyfriend privileges or something like that. Yoru too, but that’s more on KAY/O’s part. He and Viper also manage and contribute to the Simulated Universe. Cypher’s just the guy who has enough time to oversee most of the operations.

Not the safest move, considering that one room holds far too much research and information, but Cypher seemed to know what he was doing. Cypher also did not seem to give a single shit for the beef the Astral Express had with the Stellaron Hunters. The more competent testers for the Simulated Universe, the better… even if they have a 8 billion and counting bounty to their name, apparently. 

When Gekko managed to make his way to Cypher’s office at his own leisure pace, Jett was basically bouncing off the walls. Iso was checking out his own stats on a large screen in the corner of the office, shuffling around his relics a bit. Phoenix was just standing there, scuffling through Cypher’s drawers. Probably an invasion of privacy, but Cypher didn’t seem to care, so neither did Gekko. 

“Holy SHIT Cypher, this is the best thing to ever happen to me ever in the history of forevereverever,” Jett yelled, clutching a planar ornament like her life depended on it. “This set is literally for me. You made this for my sake. Life is good. Love is real.”

“Yo, gang, what’s going on here?” Gekko asked as he walked over to Jett’s side, glancing at the link rope and planar sphere Jett was holding. They were the new relic rewards alongside the new world. Looked pretty sick, but if they were fit for Jett, Gekko doubted that it would be good on himself in the slightest.

Gekko’s predictions were proven right when Cypher pulled up the effects of equipping the planar ornaments together. It increases their attack by 12% and deals damage based on how fast the  attacker is: 12% increase for 135+ and a whole 18% for 160. Jett’s dream set. The other set was relatively unremarkable for them, because it was a defensive one.

Unable to wait any longer, Jett skipped over to the portal and checked out world 8’s details. She then slowly turned back to Cypher, her voice laced with a judgemental tone. “…Omen’s the final boss of this world…?”

“I needed to test out some new combat functions, and he happened to be in the same room as me when I got to the final boss,” Cypher said, adding something on right when Jett opened her mouth to ask something. “And no, this Omen doesn’t have a similar kit to the one you can download.”

“Shit,” Phoenix huffed as Cypher handed Gekko some immersifiers for the simulated universe. “Can you tell us what he does, then?”

“Not spoiling. This is one of the only bosses you haven’t fought before in your own journeys,” Cypher replied cheekily, to Phoenix’s annoyance before glancing over at Iso. “…Well, at least the majority of you haven’t.”

“Rightttt. You’re carrying us on this one, Iso,” Gekko said, wrapping an arm around Iso’s shoulders. Iso just shrugged in response, not seeming bothered.

Just as they were about to enter the universe, Cypher called back to them ‘Oh, if the Omen randomly disappear or clip through walls, don’t worry. It’s not a bug.”

“Well that’s certainly not cryptic,” Jett muttered as Cypher turned around to the exit. Iso narrowed his eyes at Cypher’s words but chose not to comment on it for now. Jett and Phoenix bicker for a total of 2 seconds on which path they should go down for this run, but Jett ultimately wins and they go with The Hunt. It was a 2v1, really. Jett and Iso both benefit greatly from the blessings of The Hunt, but Phoenix just wants to take The Destruction to show off his big numbers. Gekko never participates in the Path choosing scuffles. There’s no path for harmony. You can’t really buff the buffers.

When the 4 of them finished their first fight, Gekko immediately realized how scuffed their team building skills are. It’s 3 heavy damage dealers and himself. The singular buffer. No heals, no shields, no debuffs. Just a lot of attacking. And a lot of skill points down the drain. And a monster on the loose. Multiple. 

Jett slowly turned over to Phoenix. Gekko too. Iso scurried off a bit to the side to go break one of those purple technique point recharge thingies. Gekko still doesn’t know what they’re called, but they’re useful as hell. 

“…Why are you lot looking at me like that,” Phoenix asked suspiciously, as if he could tell what they were going to say from lightyears away.

Jett cleared her throat. “So, Phoenix. About that Preservation mode you have.”

“Of course, ever since I got those cool shielding powers from Qlipoth, I’m suddenly the resident shielder,” Phoenix complained as Gekko sent him puppy-dog eyes. He relented, opening up the hologram menu and changing his path. As Jett, Iso and Gekko went to beat up some weird fist machine thing, Phoenix quickly shuffled around with his relics.

They breezed through the stages relatively quickly. When in a combat one, Phoenix spotted a floating portrait of a chess board—an error code curio selection. He approached it and triggered the selection screen immediately, turning back to the other 3. “Which one we goin’ for?”

“Wow, not even asking the gang if we should choose one or not,” Gekko said as he walked over to read the details of the 3 options. 

“I don’t need to ask, you all know these little shits are cracked as hell,” Phoenix said dismissively. “Cypher even tried nerfing them, but he got distracted by a fuckass bug on world 3.”

“Shiiit, we got the skill point one?” Gekko whistled as he looked at the one that sacrificed an extra skill point every skill used in the next 3 battles, but after patched, would give 1 extra point per basic attack. “We choosin’ that one or nah?”

“Probably,” Jett shrugged as she read the other 2 Curio’s details. One made you take more damage for 3 battles but receive less after patched. The other makes them lose 30% HP every ultimate until patched, where it instead regenerates 30% per ult. “Neither of these are nearly as good.”

“I mean, I feel like the one that regenerates HP would be useful,” Iso said, glancing over at Phoenix. “Our only sustain is… well…”

“You can say I can’t solo sustain, it’s ok,” Phoenix huffed irritably with a childish pout. “I see how it is, mate. I get it. Qlipoth strike me down. I suck at tanking.”

“It’s ok Phoenix. I think you can solo sustain,” Jett said, a reassuring hand on Phoenix’s shoulder. 

“No you don’t.”

“No I don’t,” Jett affirmed cheekily. “There’s a reason why we have Sage downloaded in case we need to heal.”

“Well, we haven’t needed to yet, so I think I’m doing a bloody good job,” Phoenix replied smugly as Iso selected the curio. “All of you fuckers are at almost full health.”

Jett narrowed her eyes. “You’re at like… 40% HP. You’re in the yellows.”

“…My auto heal triggers at 35% or lower.”

“Wow. I hope you get killed in one fell swoop before you can get under 35%.”

“I can revive, you twat!”

“Shit, I forgot your entire thing is reviving,” Jett looked away sheepishly, following Iso and Gekko to the next enemy as Phoenix sputtered in offense. “Anywayssss, if I die you’re paying for lunch the next time we’re on the Xianzhou.”

“Why’s that so specific?” Phoenix asked, stumbling to catch up with the other three. “Only on the Xianzhou?”

“Because I’m gonna buy the whole menu, duh.”

“Well, no one’s gonna die as long as they keep hitting me, sooo,” Phoenix began with confidence.  “No free Xianzhou food for you.”

Jett rolled her eyes at Phoenix’s sureness. “And what if they don’t hit you, huh? What if a big bad Automaton comes and slashes me to my death?” 

“My taunt value is stupid high, and 60% of that damage goes to me anyways!” Phoenix retorted. “If you die then it’s a you problem!”

Gekko interrupted hurriedly before Jett could say anything in response. “Hey guys, I know you’re really passionate on our sustain crisis right now, but there is a void ranger approaching us at a concerning speed and—“

Anyways. They got ambushed.

No matter, the enemies were weak to wind and quantum. Jett and Iso made really quick work with them while Phoenix and Gekko were forced into basic attacking for skill points, because they disappeared twice as much. 

They chose their blessing and went on their merry way. 2 more battles later, they entered yet another combat domain and began to fight some fist bombs. 1 problem: their skill points were still going down.

“Hey, hasn’t it been 3 battles?” Jett asked in confusion, seeing the skill points continue to be depleted in twos. “Where’s the patch?”

“I think wingman ated it,” Gekko replied as he looked down at wingman, who was vehemently shaking his head. He then looked back up sheepishly. “Nevermind.”

“Maybe just a random bug with the new world?” Iso suggested nonchalantly, going on to the next enemy across the corner and attacking it. 

Another battle, another nervous laugh. As they entered an occurrence domain, Phoenix spoke up. “So. Where’s that popup that goes “Error Code Curio: Blah blah has been fixed”.”

“Does Cypher actually manually patch them?” Jett sent them a confused look while Iso took care of the occurrence. “I thought they were just automatic and there for the sake of being there.”

“No, no, it’s definitely automatic. He told me himself,” Gekko answered. “He wouldn’t have that many consistent errors in the code.”

“Ah shit,” Jett groaned, a hand to his head. “Double skill point loss is so annoying.”

“Nah, we can do this,” Phoenix huffed, walking to the elite domain portal after Iso got them 2 blessings from the occurrence. “An extra skill point isn’t a big deal.”

“No, I think it’s a huge deal,” Iso said bluntly. “Jett and I want to spam our skills. You need to use skill at least every 3 turns. Gekko needs… well, if we want more damage, basically every turn or so.”

“So you’re saying Gekko and I are gonna be forced into using our basic attacks until the end of time.”

“Pretty much.”

“Bloody hell,” Phoenix let out an even louder groan. “Iso, nothing personal, but I really think we should replace you with that Sage we have downloaded.”

“That’s what I was thinking too,” Iso replied, pulling out the party setup and quickly replacing himself with Sage. She wasn’t physically here, really, she was a hologram AI thingy-majig. So were all the other people you could download, which was a concerning amount. 

None of them knew why Cypher just knew so much of these people’s fighting techniques, and why he could perfectly mimic all them down to a T, but that was the least of their worries. They could control simulated character’s attacks and all that, because the combat in here’s all turn-based. That didn’t make the battles any less gut-wrenching. Especially when an enemy is locked on to the one low-HP DPS instead of the sustain who has a way higher taunt value (or, in normal people terms, get-attacked chances) in the codes. 

Simulated Universe combat was weird. 

The last elite domain before the final boss was down. Not without struggle, of course. Midway through, Phoenix was screaming-crying-yelling-sobbing-begging for Jett to spare the last 2 skill points before he needed to reuse his skill. Spoiler alert: Jett used the skill points. Sage had to heal her after the enemy attacked Jett into red HP.

Iso was “physically” in the universe, so he couldn't fit into a digital pocket like simulated characters. He just… stood on the side. Watching the other 3 struggle. “Good job.”

“I can’t believe I got outta that fight with almost max HP,” Gekko let out a sigh of relief.

“I mean, we have two sustains now,” Phoenix reasoned before frowning. “Because someone isn’t patching this damn bug.”

“I swear to god. Cypher better give double drops for compensation,” Jett said in annoyance. They entered the respite domain, downloaded Killjoy to pretend that she was here in spirit, and breezed through the last few domains.

Uh oh. Omen time.

He was weak to wind, fire and ice. Convenient. Sage and Jett? Wind. Phoenix? Fire. Gekko?

Er. Imaginary. But it’s not like he’s there to do damage, so it’s fine.

When they reluctantly entered the battle, it was immediately looking bad for them. Omen outspeeded all of them but Jett, and proceeded to immediately attack her when anyone else in the team was the better option. Wow. This was going great.

They did the usual, with Gekko and Sage forced to basic attack, and Phoenix using his skill 1 time (once). 

Suddenly, Omen just disappeared.

What the fuck.

Jett almost dropped the daggers she was dual-wielding after he just… phased  right through the floor. Nowhere to be found. The only remnants of his being was the health bar that menacingly hovered over the battlefield. “WHERE did he go.”

“This isn’t a bug, isn’t it?” Gekko asked with narrowed eyes, using their last two skill points to buff Jett. “…Man, I can’t tell whether or not the Omen-disappearing-thing is the thing Cypher was hinting at earlier. Or just a bug.”

“I’m 90% sure it’s the boss mechanic,” Phoenix said, stalling as they pondered on what the hell they even do when there was quite literally no enemy to attack. “It has a neat little animation and all.”

Jett was frantically looking around for any hint of Omen. Right after Phoenix wasted a turn on basic attacking air, Omen appeared out of thin air, attacked him, and then disappeared again.

“WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL,” Phoenix yelled, jumping back despite there being no dodging mechanics. He took the damage anyway. “He’s gone again? Is this the damn gimmick?”

“I can’t believe they made a boss more annoying than Reyna on World 5,” if Jett wasn’t irritated already, she was now. Especially with the lack of skill points due to Cypher’s disinterest in fixing SHIT. “How does this boss even work in a turn-based?”

Sage did another basic attack, and then Omen materialized again. This cycle went on for far too long until Omen was finally. Fucking. Dying. Gekko died at some point because neither Sage or Phoenix had the damn skill points to do anything, but thankfully Sage’s ultimate revives and heals.

“Thank god for the double sustain,” Jett said after they somehow won, sending a look over to Phoenix. “Won” in quotations—all of them were on the verge of death, and the victory had taken way too many turns of stalling. 

Phoenix’s eyebrow twitched in irritation. “I hate you.”

Iso got off his phone after the others dealt with the fighting, having stood off to the side idly for the entire duration with little to no advice to provide. He walked over to get their rewards, checking through them and throwing a link rope to Jett. “If you’re really desperate for the 2 piece effects, this is… alright.”

Jett checked the stats. “Mid. All that struggling for shit relics? I demand a refund from Cypher.”

“I’m getting the fuck outta here before the entire thing bugs and we all glitch outta existence,” Phoenix said, prancing out of the portal back to reality. Finally. 

When they were back, there was no Cypher in sight. Not even one of the stupid hat creatures he had all around the station to keep an eye on everything. The office was dead empty. Jett looked around for any sign of Cypher, ready to strike him down the second she caught sight of him.

He was nowhere to be found. Jett and Phoenix, stubborn as always, ran out the office and began to run around the entire damn space station. They were asking everyone in sight, while Iso and Gekko stayed in Cypher’s office, reading through some Aeon’s archives that they never had the time to read beforehand.

Minutes passed, before Phoenix came back empty handed. He let out a loud groan (yes, another one), and flipped off the Genius Society portrait of Cypher on the side of the room. He was masked in the portrait, of course. Hell would freeze over before any of them lived long enough for Cypher to take off his mask. “He’s literally gone. I tried askin’ KAY/O, but he just looked at me funny and told me to get outta the supply zone. What, did he think I was gonna steal stuff?”

“I mean, you did steal those relics and documents randomly some time ago,” Gekko shrugged.

“…Well, ok, but I’m a changed man, yeah?” Phoenix was not in fact a changed man. He would loot every last drop of credits he could. Not that there’s anything else to steal, considering the Express have explored every nook and cranny of the station. The Stellaron Hunters too, albeit less. Cypher doesn’t even mind. He had his eyes everywhere on the station—no, the entire universe , probably. If he really cared, he would’ve struck the Express down by messing with the star rail to his space station. 

Just when they thought all hopes of Cypher showing his face (more like his mask) were gone, the man of the hour stepped through the door with his typical jolly expression. “Oh my. You three don’t seem so thrilled right now.”

“Cypher!” Phoenix whipped around with furrowed eyebrows. “Alright, fess up mate, where were you when we needed you the most?! There was a huge fuckass bug and we struggled to hell and back!”

“Taking care of other affairs on the station, of course,” Cypher replied, not intimidated in the slightest. “I’m a busy man.”

“Nah, I’m not falling for that one,” Phoenix crossed his arms. “What, were you mingling with those Stellaron Hunters again?”

Cypher simply sent him a cryptic smile. Phoenix meant it as a joke, but he wasn’t too surprised that it was the actual truth. 

“…Was it fucking Omen,” Phoenix said monotonously. “Did you go see that shadow sucker while we were fighting for our lives.”

“That’s for me to know, and for you to figure out,” Cypher chirped, his smile only widening to Phoenix’s chagrin. Iso was looking away, and Gekko just watched, his head frantically flicking between the two as they talked. He then redirected the topic elsewhere before Phoenix could prod any further. “And where has Jett run off to? Gone with the wind?”

“No, actually, she’s runnin’ around like a headless animal trying to hint you down.”

“For this so-called bug?” Cypher asked curiously. “If it’s the Omen boss, then all of it was on purpose.”

“No, it’s with one of those error code curios,” Phoenix started, his hands on his hips now. “That skill point one? Never disappeared after the 3 battles. We had to fight that stall-spam Omen boss with too much HP when all we could do was use our basics.”

“Ohhhhh, that curio,” Cypher chuckled nervously, remembering his mistake and rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Omen was originally gonna mess with your skill points, but I deleted that mechanism. The deletion messed up that curio specifically, on that single world. Shame you ran into it before I got to it.”

“Wh—so you knew it would happen and still let us go in to suffer?!” Phoenix stammered, clenching his fist. 

“Hehe—“

Before anything else could happen, Jett launched in from behind Cypher and dug a dagger right into his back. Iso looked up from the archives he was reading, not too surprised, whereas Gekko almost fell to the ground in shock. Phoenix simply stood there, gawking at Cypher’s frozen figure, and then at Jett’s menacing glare.

It was pure for a hot second, until Cypher suddenly just… dissipated. Poof. Right into thin air. Didn’t even move or say anything. 

Jett stabbed the air, her yells echoing through the (thankfully) soundproofed office. “Oh for fucks sake, was that a hologram?!”