Chapter Text
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November 2023
Sonny and Amanda’s House - Wednesday Afternoon 12p
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Sonny, who had been straightening up around the kitchen, heard the timer he set ding. So he shut it off and made his way over to the oven to check on the Dutch apple pie he had baking
He saw it was done so he carefully took it out, placed it on top of the stove to cool off and put the sweet potato casserole he had ready to go in its place.
Just then Amanda, who’d been reorganizing the closet in the girls’ bedroom and getting rid of clothes they either never wore or were too small, emerged from the hallway.
“It smells so good in here.” She told her husband as she stepped into the kitchen.
“Hopefully everything tastes good too.” The counselor said as he set a new oven timer. He began wiping down the counter. “Especially the apple pie. I’ve never made a crust from scratch before.”
“I’m sure it will and that everyone at Thanksgiving dinner is going to love your pie AND casserole.” Amanda reassured.
She poured herself something to drink, sat down at the kitchen table and checked the baby monitor.
“Almost done in the girls room?”
“Just about.” The blonde took a sip of cranberry juice. “Has Serafina told you what time dinner is tomorrow?”
Sonny started to answer but stopped when they heard the pitter patter of little feet coming their way.
“Frannie threw up.” Jesse informed them. “On the family room carpet.”
Amanda made a face.
“Want me to get it?” The counselor asked, knowing the sight of vomit often made her want to vomit as well.
Amanda shook her head. “No it’s alright. I got it.” She stood up and told Jesse, “I’ll be in there to clean it up in a minute, OK?”
Jesse nodded and scurried back off into the family room, where her and Billie had been hanging out.
Sonny went back to straightening up around the kitchen while Amanda gathered the supplies she needed and headed into the family room.
She set the items down on the coffee table near the throw up and went to check on Frannie, who was in her bed near the sofa.
“You feeling OK?” The blonde asked as she bent down and gently pet her.
Frannie let her know she did by barking softly and licking her hand.
Amanda gave her a small smile and then walked back over to the vomit spot. She took a few deep breaths in an attempt to suppress the gag reflex. The blonde then kneeled, put on the gloves she brought out, scooped the vomit up with a paper towel and placed the contents into a small trash bag. She then took an old spoon she planned to toss out and scraped the excess remnants into the bag.
As she was tying up the trash bag baby Dominick could be heard crying from her and Sonny’s room, where he had been sleeping in his bassinet.
“I got him!” The counselor yelled to her.
“OK.”
Amanda looked down at the spot again and decided she should put some baking soda on it before hitting it with any cleaning solution. So she got up and walked back into the kitchen to get some.
As she rummaged through the cabinets looking for the baking soda, Amanda could hear the girls talking to each other; they had been quietly watching TV together for most of the morning but were now sitting at their activity table coloring in their Christmas themed coloring books.
“Jesse, how is Santa Claus able to get to everyone’s house in one night?” Billie asked as she flipped to a new page. “Is it because his reindeer can fly really fast?”
Jesse grabbed a green crayon from the box of crayons. “They do.” She began coloring in the Christmas tree on her page. “But the main reason he can do it all in one night is because Christmas is at different times around the world. So when it’s daytime on Christmas Eve here Santa is out dropping gifts off in places where it’s nighttime and kids are in bed sleeping.”
Billie eyes widened. “Really?”
“Yup.”
“I didn’t know that.” The surprised sounding 4-year-old said.
Amanda grinned and chuckled lightly.
Billie pulled out a brown crayon and started coloring in the reindeer on her page. “I can’t wait to see Santa at the mall and tell him what we want for Christmas.”
Jesse picked up a yellow crayon to color the star on top of the tree. “When we do see him we should tell him we moved. Just in case he doesn’t know.”
She nodded. “That’s a good idea.”
The girls conversation then shifted from Christmas to the newest Trolls movie, which Sonny was going to take them and his nieces to see tomorrow after Thanksgiving dinner.
After finding the baking soda the counselor tucked away in a slightly unexpected place, Amanda went back into the family room, sprinkled some of it onto the spot and then headed back into the kitchen to put everything she used away.
While she waited for the baking soda to absorb the remaining vomit residue and odor, the blonde made her way to her and Sonny’s bedroom to see what was going on with the baby.
Amanda slowly closed the door and sat down beside her husband, who was staring softly at their sleeping son.
“Dominick was just looking for his pacifier.” Sonny told her. “He went right back to sleep as soon as I gave it to him.”
She nodded.
“I could sit and watch him all day long.” The counselor admitted to her.
Amanda reached into the bassinet and stroked her son’s cheek. “So could I. He’s the perfect final addition to our family.”
“That he is.”
The blonde smiled softly.
He shifted his gaze from the infant and onto his wife. “How’s the carpet looking?”
Amanda ran a hand through her hair. “I’ll have a better idea once I vacuum up the baking soda I sprinkled down and use some of that pet enzyme cleaner you bought on it. But even if it looks OK I think it’d be a good idea for us to get rid of it.”
“And refinish the hardwood floors underneath?”
She nodded. “With two young kids, a baby, and a dog we’re bound to have more accidents and it’ll be a lot easier to keep hardwood clean than carpet.”
Sonny nodded. “I think so too.” He then changed the subject. “So what are Jesse and Billie up to out there?“
“They’re coloring.” Amanda grinned.
“What is it?”
“When I was in the kitchen looking for baking soda I could heard the girls talking about Santa.” She said. “It was cute.”
Sonny smiled.
“You know, I kinda thought this might be the year Jesse told us she knows Santa Claus isn’t real.” Amanda admitted. “Since she’s at an age where she’s starting to think more logically about things. But despite probably knowing there are at least a few aspects of the Santa story that don’t make sense she still chooses to believe in him and I really love that.”
He gave her thigh a light squeeze. “Me too. No need for the kids to grow up too fast. I hope we’re able to preserve their innocence for as long as possible."
“Agreed.“
“Speaking of Santa, wasn’t Liv thinking about gettin’ someone to play him for your holiday work party?” Sonny asked.
“She was. Since it’s a work party spouses and kids can attend. But she had trouble finding someone. Apparently people hire Santa impersonators months in advance.”
Suddenly a light bulb went off in her head.
“You should do it.”
Sonny chuckled. “Me? Really?”
Amanda nodded. “Instead of taking them to see some random mall Santa Claus, I think it’d be nice if Jesse and Billie got to talk to one who really knows them.“
“It would be.” He acknowledged. “But I don’t know if I could pull it off.”
“Well you’ve already got the gray hair.” She reminded him, smiling. “All we gotta do is get you a beard, the Santa suit and somethin’ to stuff ya with. Once you lose that accent of yours you’ll be good to go.”
Sonny playfully rolled her eyes at the mention of his accent but then nodded. “Alright I’ll do it.”
“Yeah?”
He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her temple. “Of course. I want to see Jesse and Billie happy and I know this will make them really happy.”
“OK I’ll let Liv know.”
The couple sat together watching Dominick for a few more minutes until they heard a gentle knock on the door.
Sonny got up, opened it and saw Billie standing in front of him.
“Can I have a snack?” She asked.
The counselor squatted down to her eye level. “It’s pretty close to lunch time. How ‘bout I make us all some sandwiches?”
Billie nodded.
Sonny stood up and took the little girl by the hand. “OK let’s go to the kitchen.”
Amanda got up from off the bed, gave the infant a kiss on his forehead and followed the duo into the kitchen.
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Next Saturday
Holiday Party - Friday Evening 5p
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Once Thanksgiving was over Sonny focused the little free time he had on perfecting what he called his “North Pole” accent. It took a while but when the day of the holiday party rolled around the counselor was confident he had it down and that the girls wouldn’t be able to tell he was playing Santa Claus.
***
Amanda, Jesse and Billie headed toward the hall where the party was being held.
“I wish Sonny was here with us.” Jesse said out loud to them both. “And that he didn’t have to work late tonight.”
Billie clutched the Baby Alive doll she brought along with her tightly in her arms. “Me too.”
“So do I.” Amanda told her daughters.
“If he gets done early will he come?” The 4-year-old asked hopefully.
The plan, unbeknownst to the girls, was for them and the other kids in attendance to meet with “Santa Claus” fairly early into the evening and then for Sonny to emerge shortly thereafter to join them.
She nodded. “Yes.“
As they walked in to the fairly crowded room of the 16th precinct’s detectives, officers, dispatchers, and clerical staff, Amanda and the girls quickly spotted Liv, who had been standing a few feet from the entrance talking with Chief McGrath.
The Captain excused herself and made her way over to the detective and two young goddaughters.
She gave Amanda a big hug and then bent down and hugged each of the girls.
“No Carisi tonight?” Liv asked coyly.
“He’s working but might come later.” Jesse informed her godmother.
“And Dominick’s at home with the babysitter.” Billie added. “Because he has an ear infection.”
She frowned.
“But he’s on antibiotics and is starting to feel a lot better.” Amanda reassured.
Liv nodded.
“Noah here?”
“The McCanns are bringing him and Connor down now.” The Captain told her. “He didn’t have school today so I let him spend the night up there yesterday.”
As Amanda helped the girls out of their coats Billie said, “Mommy I’m thirsty.”
Liv told her friend, “I got it.”
Amanda nodded and watched as her Captain took each of the girls by the hand and brought them over to the drink and snack table. She smiled and then made her way over to a nearby coat closet.
As she hung up their coats, she noticed Fin and Velasco walking towards her.
“I’m glad Liv decided to do this.” The blonde said as she looked around. “It all turned out really nice.”
Velasco nodded. “It did. Captain and our office clerks did a good job setting this up. Hopefully it’ll be a regular thing.”
Amanda turned to her sergeant. “Flying solo tonight?”
He took a sip from the cup he was drinking from. “Phoebe’s working but Ken and Alejandro are gonna stop by with Jaden.”
Just then Fin saw his son and his family walking in. “There they are now.” He began making his way over to them.
“So who’s covering the precinct tonight?” Amanda asked Velasco.
“Ludlow and Johnson.” He said, referencing two of the precinct’s more experienced officers. “And me and Bruno, who’s around here somewhere, are the on-call detectives. Hoping nothing comes up but it’s a Friday night so I’m sure we’ll have to run out of here at some point.”
“Probably.”
“I just don’t wanna get called away while Carisi’s playing Santa.” Velasco chuckled. “I’m dying to see him in that suit.”
Amanda grinned. “Me too.”
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Not long after Amanda and the girls arrived the food was brought out. And once everyone ate it was time for “Santa” to make his debut.
Amanda’s jaw dropped when she saw Sonny enter the room. For a brief moment she thought maybe he had secretly gotten someone to take over for him. But when Santa walked by her he gave her a wink and she realized the guy behind the glasses, beard and stuffed red suit was in fact the husband she knew and loved.
“Ho, ho, ho!” Sonny shouted out as he made his way over to where all the young children in attendance stood together waiting for him. “MERRY Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas!” An excited Jesse, Billie, Jaden and other kids yelled out.
Liv gathered the youngsters into the area she had designated for the Santa Claus meet and greet and they all lined up.
Most of the kids scrambled to get up front but Jesse and Billie instead made their way to the back of the line.
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“I wasn’t sure Carisi was gonna be able to pull the whole Santa thing off but he’s doing a good job.” Bruno said to Amanda and Fin as they stood from afar watching him. “He’s great with kids.”
“Always has been.” Fin noted.
“Me, Jesse, Billie and Dominick are lucky to have him.” The blonde said smiling.
When the girls got to the front of the line to talk to “Santa” Amanda stepped away from Fin and Bruno to take some photos.
Sonny scooped Billie up onto his left leg and Jesse up onto his right.
Jesse immediately noticed Amanda snapping photos and made a, ‘Stop you’re embarrassing me’ face at her.
The blonde took a few more snapshots but then put her phone away and walked back to where Fin and Bruno stood watching.
“She looks like she really enjoys having her photo taken.” Bruno said laughing.
“Everything I do seems to embarrass Jesse these days.” Amanda chucked. “But someday, when her and Billie find out that this Santa was Sonny, I think they’ll be happy they have photos to look back on.”
Just then the trio heard a whistle. They turned around and saw Velasco motioning to Bruno that they need to head out.
“Duty calls.”
Bruno hurried over to Velasco and the two detectives quickly grabbed their jackets and headed out.
Just then Amanda’s phone buzzed. She pulled it out and saw it was a text from her sitter saying she was having trouble getting Dominick to take his antibiotics.
The blonde didn’t really want to step away but she knew it was important that the baby took all of his medicine and at the appropriate time so she excused herself and headed outside, where it was quieter, to give her sitter some suggestions on how to get him to take it.
Sonny noticed Amanda step out and though he wondered why he didn’t dwell on it too much and instead kept his attention focused on the girls.
“Do you know my name?” A curious Billie asked ‘Santa Claus.’
“Of course I do.” Sonny said. “You’re Billie.” He pointed to Jesse. “And you’re Jesse.”
Jesse and Billie both grinned and he could tell they didn’t realize it was him underneath the beard.
“I’ve been talking with your elf, Snickerdoodle.” The counselor told them. “He tells me you’ve both been very good for your mommy and Sonny. That he sees you cleaning your bedroom, eating your vegetables, and sharing with each other and your baby brother Dominick.”
“Yeah, we do all those things!” Billie confirmed to him.
Sonny smiled, gave her a squeeze and then got to the topic at hand.
“Do you know what you’d both like for Christmas?” The counselor asked them. He pointed to Billie’s doll. “Another outfit for Penny? A new squishmallow?”
The girls shook their heads, looked at each other and then stared quietly at him.
Sonny, thinking they wanted to talk about it somewhere a bit more private, set the girls down, stood up, took them by the hand and brought them over to a secluded corner away from others.
He squatted down. “Is that better?”
They nodded.
“We only have one wish this year Santa.” Jesse told him.
“What’s that?”
“We want Sonny to adopt us and be our daddy.” She said smiling.
Sonny, who was completely caught off guard by the girls’ request, was momentarily left speechless. However he eventually stuttered out, “Y—you do?”
They both nodded and Jesse followed up.
“We don’t have a daddy but Sonny’s been around to help Mommy take care of us since we were babies. He does all the kinds of things that good daddies do and loves us like good daddies do.”
“And I love Sonny like a daddy.” The preschooler told him, chiming in.
“Me too.” The 8-year-old said. “So we want him to officially be our daddy. Like he is Dominick’s.”
Sonny found himself getting choked up so he took a few deep breaths in an attempt to keep his emotions in check.
“We were hoping you could talk to him about it for us.” Jesse added, with a look in her eyes that made Sonny think they were nervous about bringing it up to him themselves.
The counselor thought over his words carefully. He then pulled them in for a big hug and whispered, “I’ll talk to Sonny and I’ll do everything I can to help make what you girls want happen.”
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Sonny and Amanda’s House - Friday Night 11p
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Once the Santa meet and greet was over Sonny changed and rejoined the holiday party as himself. And the girls, who were happy the counselor had finished “working” early and was able to come, were none the wiser.
Sonny did his best to put what Billie and Jesse had asked for to the back of his mind; until he could talk to Amanda about it privately at home. However he found it extremely difficult. So he was thankful when the night was finally over and all three kids had been put to bed so he could bring it up to her.
***
Sonny laid quietly in bed waiting for Amanda, who was brushing her teeth, to come into the room. A few minutes later she did and after heading to the bassinet to check on a sleeping Dominick one more time she joined her husband in bed.
She picked up her phone to look at her email but stopped when Sonny gently placed his hand on top of hers, indicating he wanted to talk.
“What’s up?” The blonde asked curiously.
“I wanna talk about the girls.” He took a deep breath and exhaled. “And what they said they wanted for Christmas.”
“Oh yeah that’s right you never told me.” Amanda chuckled. “By the look on your face I’m guessing they each asked for something that’s pretty expensive.”
The counselor sat quietly for a few moments and then told her, “Jesse and Billie told Santa they want me to be their daddy and asked if he would talk to me about adopting them.”
She remained quiet but he could see her starting to grow emotional.
“Being their dad is something I really want as well.” He continued. “I’ve told you many times I would like to adopt them.”
“You have.” Amanda acknowledged.
Sonny ran a hand through his hair. “The first time I brought the topic up you said you wanted to take some time to adjust to teachin’ before we looked into anything. When I mentioned it to you again a few months later you said you wanted to wait until the baby was born. Well Dominick’s here and has been for a while now. And you’ve stopped teachin’ months ago. So what’s the delay really about? Do you not actually want me to legally be their dad?”
She vehemently shook her head. “Of course I do. I’m just worried if we go down this road we’ll end up regretting it.“
The counselor frowned and started to speak but stopped when she began explaining what she meant.
“Declan won’t give us a hard time about you adopting Jesse, but when it comes to Billie my gut tells me Al will.” She told him. “I know it’s been years but I really think he’s gonna hate the fact that you of all people have built a fatherly bond with her. And even though he himself isn’t involved in her life I see him fighting us on this.”
Amanda tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You can’t adopt her without him signing off on it, right? Since he’s listed as Billie’s father on her birth certificate?”
The counselor sighed. “Al would have to agree to let me adopt her.” He confirmed. “But if he didn’t you could petition to have his parental rights terminated.”
“We both know it takes a lot for something like that to actually happen.” Amanda reminded him. “How many times have we seen kids get taken away from extended family and foster homes they were thriving in and returned to deadbeat parents?”
“A lot.” Sonny whispered.
She took a deep breath and exhaled. “Here’s what I’m afraid will happen. We ask Al to let you adopt Billie. He says no. I file a petition to have his rights terminated. He pushes back in court by promising to step up. We’re then required to let Al reenter Billie’s life and after a couple of visits he stops comin’ around.“
Amanda blinked back tears. “I don’t want Billie getting hurt. Wondering why this ‘dad’ were forcing on her doesn’t wanna see her. Thinking it’s her fault. And I know none of this directly relates to Jesse but it feels wrong to have you adopt her and leave Billie being the only one in our family who isn’t a Carisi. Because even if she didn’t realize it right away she would at some point and knowing she’s not one and everyone else was would devastate her.”
Sonny sighed and rubbed his temples but didn’t comment verbally.
An uncomfortably long silence filled the room until Amanda eventually broke it.
“We can have the girls call you daddy.” She said quietly. “I could also hyphenate or change their last names.”
“Not Billie’s.” He told her. “It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t have Al’s last name. You would still need his permission to alter it. And even if you didn’t, what would be the point of doin’ all that? To just make Jesse and Billie think I adopted them?
She shook her head. “No. I’m not suggesting we lie to them.”
“Then what are you trying to suggest?”
Amanda realized her attempts at trying to find some sort of compromise wasn’t coming together like it had in her head.
She sighed. “I don’t know.”
The blonde ran a hand through her hair. “I’m not against pursuing adoption in the future. When Billie’s older and the court would be required to take her wishes into account; if Al were to contest it. But right now I think we’re better off keeping everything as is. With you being the girls’ dad in every way that REALLY matters—“
“But not legally.”
She wiped a tear from her eye. “Sonny—“
“There are some risks worth taking and I think this is one of ‘em.” He said cutting her off. “Especially when Jesse and Billie have verbally expressed that me officially bein’ their dad is something they really want. And it’s something they’re asking for right now. Not five years from now.”
He paused for a moment and then added, “I get why you don’t want to stir the hornets’ nest. Since asking Al if I can adopt Billie could lead to him reemerging in a way that does nothin’ but leave her feeling confused and hurt. Which I don’t want either. But finding out they aren’t being adopted is going to upset Jesse and Billie too. Because I don’t see how we’re gonna frame this whole thing to them in a way that it doesn’t. They’re goin’ to think the reason I’m not adopting them is because I don’t want to.”
Sonny stared deeply into her blue eyes with his own. “But if this isn’t somethin’ you wanna move forward with right now then I guess that’s that.”
Amanda stared at him sadly.
“We should get some sleep.” The counselor told her. “Since Dominick’s gonna be up in a bit wanting to eat.”
He shut his bedside lamp off and turned to his side.
She sniffled and sat watching him for a minute before eventually turning off her own light and attempting to sleep.