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“Can Chan stop being so fucking clingy? Minho obviously hates it”
Chan reads the comment again for the third time, trying hard to stop the growing pain he feels from his chest.
When Chan chose his career in the entertainment industry, he already expected all kinds of people to mindlessly throw judgement and calculate his every move, and being used to it throughout the years as an idol, he got to a point where he just stopped caring on what other people say about him.
But when it comes to a certain man named Lee Minho, he loses himself over and over again.
There’s just something about the younger man that clouds Chan’s brain even from a simple poke on his hand or the subtle smirk that he always wears which never fails to fluster Chan and make him a babbling mess.
He won’t deny how he’s slowly trying to get closer to Minho recently, but he didn’t expect people to notice early on and comment on it so brutally. Now lying on his twin sized bed, he thinks again.
Was he really being too clingy and annoying that even Minho got sick and tired of how he acts around him? Most people are aware on how Minho puts on a cold façade and pretends to not like skin ship, but what if Chan really was going overboard recently?
Would it really be his fault if after four long years, he finally had the courage to do something about his one sided love?
What he didn’t prepare himself for was the wake up call from all the people who see them. The ones who reminded him that he doesn’t live on happy ever after's. That the reality he’s in is far from what he imagine at night. That in this life, the man he wants doesn’t want him back.
He should really stop dreaming before it gets too much for his poor little heart.
His thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on his door.
“Come in”, Chan says as he shuffles to a more comfortable position on his bed.
It was Jisung, dressed in a loose gray hoodie and sweatpants. Chan can tell he’s going out even though it was pretty late at night.
“Hyung, I’m going to the other dorm. Minho hyung asked me to sleep over,” he chuckles, “he probably misses me” he continues while having a cheeky grin.
Oh.
Chan didn’t mean to suddenly feel a weird sensation of what he recognize as jealousy bubbling inside him but he just nodded, forcing a smile while uttering a “be careful” and “say hello to the boys for me”.
As Chan faintly heard the click of their main door close, he shifts to lay on his back. He knows he shouldn’t be thinking about them again, but it’s always Jisung with Minho.
Even before debut, the two had an undeniably good chemistry. Many called them soulmates for a reason, but Chan didn’t try to look past that before.
Now that he thinks about it again, maybe they’re actually more — m ore than members in a group, more than friends, even more than soulmates.
God. There’s an absolute chance they’re actually together and all the advances Chan did to Minho probably have made Jisung at least a bit uncomfortable.
Chan grunts at the thought of him making a fool of himself in front of someone who may be in a relationship. It’s not impossible. Minho is too perfect to be single for all these years anyway.
His mind is all over the place, he’ll think about it another time. As he looks at his LED clock showing 00:45 , he decides to try his best to drift off to sleep.
—
As he goes to their designated car for the day’s schedule, he can’t stop thinking about his realizations from last night. He quietly settles at the backseat, too lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed Changbin talking to him.
Chan snaps out of reality and faced Changbin, asking him to repeat what he just said.
“I said, something suddenly came up so I won’t be available for Minho hyung’s recording for SKZ-Record later”, he starts off with a pout.
“I was hoping that maybe you could direct his recording instead of me”, he finishes with a pleading tone that makes it hard for Chan to refuse.
Chan looks down, trying hard to come up with an excuse to deny the younger’s request.
Being an irresponsible and unreliable leader is the last thing he wanted to be, but at that moment he doesn’t think he can spend time with Minho, alone in a small room without losing his damn mind.
“Hyung, i know you’re busy and I’m really sorry to tell you this last minute, but I really can’t postpone my sudden schedule —”,
“It’s okay, Binnie. I’ll do it”, he says with an attempt to steady his voice.
Changbin gives him an I knew I could count on you smile as Chan lets out a deep sigh he didn’t notice he was holding and slumped back to his seat.
—
As they’re getting ready for their music show performance, Chan tries hard to distance himself from Minho for the sake of his sanity. It’s not like Minho will notice it anyway, it’s not like he will care. In fact, maybe he’ll even be delighted that Chan finally got his silent message of get away from me.
Chan is sitting at the farthest sofa on the corner of the room while mindlessly scrolling through his phone when he feels a head on his shoulder. It’s Felix, sweet sunshine Felix.
“Hi Lixie, do you need anything?” he gently pokes at the younger’s button nose, giggling at how adorable it is.
Felix pouts and rubs his head at the side of Chan’s neck, like a kitten Chan thinks. “you okay? you seem quiet today”.
Of course, Felix would notice.
Chan looked at his lap, trying hard to avoid Felix’s eyes. “I’m fine baby, just thinking about some stuff” he smiles. Felix really has the ability to light up everyone’s mood just by simply existing. He’s glad he has him whenever he feels down.
He tilted his head on Felix who’s leaning on his shoulder, closing his eyes to rest before they get called out by the staffs, unaware of the pair of eyes watching them from the other side of the room.
—
Their promotion schedule for the day went by in a blur. Now sitting at one of JYPE’s recording studio, Chan tries to calm himself for his upcoming company that was Lee Minho. The man he’s so desperately tried to ignore today is about to be his one and only companion for the next few hours or so.
Whenever he’s nervous, Chan always tries to talk to himself. Utter words of assurance to calm his nerves, so like any other situation, he does just that.
“Channie you can do this, be professional, it’ll be over before you even know it. Forget your feelings for now —” as he’s whispering encouragements to himself, a knock on the door was heard. He inhales another deep breath before responding.
“Come in” as the door squeaks open, Chan lowered his gaze to the keyboard in front of him and pretended to type something just to have a few more seconds to ponder on what he should first say to the younger.
He finally looks at Minho, forcing a shaky smile which he hoped didn't look to forced.
“Hi” he says in an almost awkward tone. He prays that the floor could just swallow him whole so that he doesn’t get to embarrass himself even more when Minho did not utter a reply back.
Upon examining the younger’s face, he notices how he looks dead serious while looking at Chan, it’s almost scary. Chan is not that good at reading expressions, but he’s pretty sure Minho is glaring at him.
Chan ignored his observations for now, wanting to get his session with Minho over as early as possible.
Since his greeting was met with silence, he continues. “So uhm let’s start, Changbin already sent me the sheets for the song so I just need you to —”
“Are you having fun with your little act?” Minho cuts in, looking intensely at his eyes.
“What?”, Chan genuinely asks in a confused manner. He had to direct his look at the wall behind Minho for a moment because the younger’s piercing gaze is making him squirm on his seat.
“Don’t act clueless, Chan. You know what i mean”, the lack of honorifics made Chan look at Minho again. Why is he being so rude right now, Chan thinks.
“What are you on about? I have no idea what you’re talking about”, Chan furrows his eyebrows as he tries to remain calm, not wanting this talk to be prolonged.
“Bullshit. Why are you suddenly pretending like I don’t exist, huh?”
Chan stilled, not knowing what to reply. He hadn’t thought this through and the outcome of his actions made everything worse.
“Hey, calm down and listen to me first”, he starts off. Testing if Minho will listen, which gladly worked.
Minho sits on the chair, a few spaces away from Chan. He’s still looking at him intensely which is not a good sign that he’ll survive this talk .
Chan thinks hard and fast on what excuse he could easily come up with that Minho would easily believe.
“I just — it’s uhm”, Chan rambles, not knowing what to say. He didn’t even notice his heartbeat beating faster and his hands started to shake.
Minho noticed this and his expression immediately softened.
“Hey”, he slowly put his hand on Chan’s knee. “I’m sorry if I sounded rude earlier. I’m just worried about you — about us”.
Us.
That one word made Chan slowly look up to Minho. He couldn’t do it anymore. If he hides it any longer, he might just explode.
So what, if it ruins his friendship with Minho? He doesn’t deserve him like this. He had already been selfish for years with his feelings, maybe it’s time for him to try and stop it.
Move on.
He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. Here’s goes everything.
“Minho, I like you”, he holds his breath after saying the words out loud.
He slowly opens his eyes to a wide eyed Minho with mouth slightly agape.
“I’m sorry”, Chan immediately says after not hearing any response.
He knew this was stupid. He shouldn’t have said that, now Minho will never talk to him or even spare him a glance —
It all happened too quickly.
One second, Chan was looking at his lap, regretting his confession then on the next, he feels Minho lift his chin and plants his lips on his.
Now it’s Chan’s turn to widen his eyes, because what the fuck is happening.
When he finally registers what’s going on, he pushed Minho away with a bit more force than intended which made Minho look confused and almost disappointed in a split second if Chan saw it right.
“What– Why–?” Chan doesn’t know what to say or feel.
Why did Minho kiss him? Was he trying to experiment? Isn’t he dating Jisung or some other person who’s more deserving than Chan?
He’s got so many questions inside his head and none is being answered because Minho is still not saying any word after kissing him.
He can’t do this right now. One more second with a silent Minho made him jolt up from his chair, about to leave and pinch himself to reality because the things that happened in the last five minutes were not real, they couldn’t be.
As he was about to walk and leave, Chan feels his wrist being pulled towards the couch. Because of the impact, he unceremoniously fell on Minho’s lap.
Great. This just got more awkward. Way to fucking go, Chan.
He squirms trying to stand up and free himself from his position on the younger’s lap, but this just made Minho grip on his waist tighter.
“Minho, please let me go. This is so fucking embarrassing. Let’s just forget about all of this–“, then Chan was cut off again with Minho’s lips on his.
This time, Chan doesn’t stop it. He savored the kiss because it may be his only chance to be this close to Minho, he thinks to himself.
Their mouths move in sync. Minho bites Chan’s bottom lip which made the latter gasp, giving Minho a chance to slip his tongue inside of Chan’s mouth.
Their kiss was hot and messy, full of yearning that it almost made Chan want to cry.
Or maybe he is crying. He doesn’t notice it at first, but as Minho slows down to part his lips from Chan’s while looking so worried, Chan realizes that he’s crying hard.
Well, that’s the end of his daydream, he guesses. Does he have regrets? Yes. Did he enjoy kissing Minho which he’d never think he’d be able to do ever? Definitely, yes.
Their current position made Chan aware of the situation. That Minho kissed him twice this time and still hasn’t spoken a word yet.
And for some unknown reason, he still wouldn’t let him get off his lap, hands firmly locked around Chan’s waist.
Chan blushes. Blood rushing to his cheekbones down to his chest. He doesn’t know what to do and the man in front of him still isn’t saying a single word, only staring very intently at him.
“Can you please say something or at least let me go so I can bury myself on the ground after I get out of here?”, this statement made Minho grip Chan’s waist even harder if that’s even physically possible, making the latter slightly jump on his lap.
“You’re stupid, so so stupid”, Chan stills when he finally hears Minho’s voice. He slowly looks up and sees the younger's mouth curved upward into a smirk rather than a smile.
“Can you let go of me now?”, Chan tries again but Minho only pouts.
The bastard fucking pouted.
“Hm, maybe I will, after you repeat what you said to me”, now Minho’s really just teasing him.
Chan blushes even more. He tries hard not to let out a whine but it was out before he can stop it.
The man in front of him chuckles. “You’re so fucking adorable, you know that?”
“Minho, I am not fucking kidding. Let me go right now or else–“ Chan mustered up to speak with his leader-tone but gets cut off by Minho again.
Seriously, when will this man let him finish a damn sentence?
“Or else what?”, he’s smiling like an idiot which made Chan even redder if that’s humanly possible.
“Can you just reject me so we can get this over wi–“
“You’re so dumb. Did you really think I don’t feel the same way after I had my tongue down your throa — ow!”, Chan slaps his chest.
After a moment, Minho’s words finally got to his brain. Minho likes him.
Minho likes him?!
“You like me?! but — what about Jisung?”, Chan questions in a high pitched voice before he could stop himself. Panic slowly rising to his system again.
He doesn’t want to ruin any friendship by the end of all this, and accidentally intruding Minho and Jisung’s blooming relationship is the last thing he wants to do.
“What about Jisung?”, Minho looks at him and by the expression on Chan’s face, he was finally able to put all the pieces of the puzzle together.
“No shit, you thought we’re dating, seriously, Chan?”
Chan suddenly feels stupid. Maybe he really is.
Minho laughs out loud which doesn’t help with the embarrassment that Chan’s feeling, especially with his position still on top of Minho’s lap.
“Chan, I’ve liked you for so long and as you can see, I’m not very good at this but I need you to know that it’s always been you”.
He’s so genuine with his words that Chan feels his eyes water once again. Minho notices this and smiles, gently cupping Chan’s cheek to bring his lips to Chan’s eyes, giving it a peck.
“Stop crying, you big baby”
Chan unconsciously pouts at that, making Minho coo at his cuteness.
“Now come on, forget the recording for today. I already talked to Changbin about it ... and maybe other things other than that”, this made Chan questionably look at him.
His eyes widen when he realized what Minho meant. Oh, he is so gonna kick Changbin’s ass once he sees him.
Minho finally lets Chan stand up from his lap. He fetches his bag and holds Chan’s hand on the other.
“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this. Tonight, you’re coming home with me.”
Oh, Chan definitely isn’t dreaming now.