Work Text:
From the moment he met you Spencer just knew. He was suddenly overcome with a deep certainty that transcended his skepticism about love at first sight. For him, it was more than just a fleeting moment; it was an incandescent passionate resonance that developed when he first saw you. Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin can only explain so much of his feelings.
He can't sleep on plane ride, looking at the sunset as the clouds fold onto each other he finds himself reminiscing about you.
There was much said, yet so much unsaid.
"Do you believe in fate?" you had asked, looking up at him.
Just breathing and staring into each other's eyes, you two were curled up together in bed. Spencer likes making eye contact with you, even though he's never been good at it. Furthermore, he doesn't even enjoy shaking hands, so he's not sure how on earth he's managed to intertwine himself with you.
Spencer chuckled skeptically, "Fate? I'm inclined to attribute this meeting to statistical probability and our friends' matchmaking skills."
You smiled back at him, his skepticism didn't seem to bother you, instead you seemed to intertwine your emotions so easily with your beliefs.
He studies you and realizes you don't mind your different perspectives. "People just need something to anchor them Doctor Reid."
He's come to the realization that he needed more of what you called him, Doctor Reid.
You continue, "Since there is so much evil in the world, I find myself wanting to cling to something greater. I'm sure you see a lot of incomprehensible things."
He pauses for a second then says
"Randomness exists because it is impossible to foresee anything with 100% accuracy, at least not in the way we see the world. Yes, although there is randomness at the level of human cognition. I don't think there is any kind of "mover" or "fate." Have you heard of the theory absurdism? It's the idea held by philosophers that there is no purpose or reason in the universe. It claims that people go into conflict with the outside world when they search for significance."
You smile at him again, the same shy smile that has been making Spencer weak all day.
“I get what you mean, but I like to believe that the universe has a purpose for me. It's as though every moment unfolds with meaning. But, recently, I've found that it’s boring to attribute everything to fate. There's a certain beauty in meeting someone and deliberately choosing them with all your intention."
This time Spencer smiles back at you, it doesn't miss him that you don't interrupt his ramblings. You're so easy to talk to he thinks. He can just get lost in your conversations.
He pushes a piece of hair out of your face “Would you say our meeting was fate?"
You paused for a second.
Spencer can't seem to read you as much, but he can infer that you didn't know, he smiles to himself as you're the one speechless this time.
Spencer likes to think the universe is devoid of meaning he doesn't give much thought to the meaning behind things, but after meeting you he finds himself questioning things.
Despite the strangeness you feel familiar to him, and your perfume still lingers in his car on the way home. He's racking his brain trying to remember what your laugh sounds like.
He likes to be in the present, but with you, you linger like a tattoo kiss. He closes his eyes and there you are again with your smile.
The lines between fate and reason began to melt in his head, as there are very few moments he's found himself dumbfounded by the nature of things.
