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“You got a secret admirer, Rollins?” Velasco asks with a smirk on his face when Amanda and Olivia walk into the squad room from the elevator
The quip Amanda had ready, falls on her tongue as her eyes fall on the small bouquet of yellow flowers that’s currently sitting on her desk; right between her chipmunk and her family photo - one taken by Serafina a few hours after the four became five .
Amanda falters just slightly in her path to her desk when she realizes just what today is.
“Well, I hope they’re from Carisi,” she vaguely hears Olivia say from somewhere behind her as she walks forward and plucks the card from the holder.
“It’s December fifth,” Amanda says softly in Olivia’s direction before her eyes scan over the script on the card.
Between the chaos of life with three kids, finally unboxing all of their stuff and getting their new house decorated - just to replace those boxes with Christmas decoration boxes, and her return to the NYPD, The day had almost slipped past her - even with the date circled on their fridge calendar.
“So that’s a yes then.”
Amanda glances over at Olivia with a pointed look. “Well I can only think of two people who like to send me flowers even though they know I hate them...and I know this wasn’t you.”
“Could’ve been.”
Amanda snorts. “Yeah okay. You sent me flowers for my anniversary then?”
Olivia comes to a stop next to Amanda’s desk. “Well you did spend your honeymoon running around Woodstock with me.”
“Because Carisi had a trial .”
Don’t hate me for this ; because you might.
The card starts and Amanda recognizes that writing anywhere, has gotten used to seeing it in notes left around her old apartment - and now in their new house. She should be annoyed considering she hates big shows but the flowers aren’t that over the top.
But you got called into work early this morning. And it kind of ruined my breakfast plans.
So you’ll just have to deal with this instead.
Happy Anniversary Amanda.
I love you
Sonny
She’s trying to fight back tears as she gets to the end of the card. She tilts her head back and blinks a few times because there’s no way in hell she’s crying in the middle of the squad room.
“I should kill him for this,” Amanda grumbles until her gaze falls on two containers on her desk, filled with breakfast pastries, a bear claw and cannolis - the good ones from his favorite bakery on Staten Island.
Olivia steps closer and holds a petal between two fingers. “For embarrassing you at work?”
“Or at the very least just maim him,” Amanda jokes, dropping the card back on her desk. “Because I’m not raising three kids on my own….but no, I’ll give him a pass this time.”
She’s only been back at svu for just over a month, back with the people she cares about - the ones who mean well when they tease her. A place that almost a year ago, she walked out of for what she thought was the last time.
“Besides Amanda, we all still need a reminder of the pretty things in life.”
Of course Fin chooses that moment to walk in with Bruno, just as Velasco makes his way to her desk. Amanda swats at the hand that's reaching for the card.
“Nosy much?” She pushes one of the take out boxes towards Velasco. “You can however have one of those because there’s no way I’m eating them all.”
“So what’s the special occasion?” Fin asks as he crosses to his desk. “Do I have to get an alibi ready or bail money for you killing the counselor for causing a scene in the squad room.”
Amanda chuckles, shaking her head. “No…” and she looks up and meets his gaze, and there’s a knowing look in his eyes. An unspoken acknowledgment of the happiness clearly radiating from Amanda.
And it means a lot coming from Fin considering he’s literally seen her at her worst and never once turned his back on her.
“I guess that means our ADA is safe for now,” Velasco pipes in as he steals a pastry from the box on Amanda’s desk.
They’ve been running around for the better part of the day, questioning witnesses and running down leads. Amanda’s sitting at her desk, running through CCTV footage, trying to ignore the feeling that she’s being watched.
Except she knows Fin’s eyes are constantly flickering towards her.
“I’m not a mirage, Fin,” she says dryly, only a hint of annoyance in her gaze. “Besides,” she adds, leaning back in her chair and glancing towards him. “Aren’t you the one that’s been teasing me about comin’ back since May .”
“If we’re being honest, I didn’t think you actually would , Amanda.”
Amanda sighs. “I didn’t either; but —“
“It’s who you are,” Fin says as if it’s the simplest thing and honestly, maybe it is; solving crimes, helping victims, putting rapists behind bars. It is who she is at her core.
“Do you have to stare at me as if I’m just gonna disappear again.”
“It's been more glaring; because of what you’re making me do.”
“Your job?” she tosses back, leaning against the back of her chair.
He levels a pointed glance at her before flicking his gaze towards a book that’s sitting on the edge of his desk, drawing her attention. “You know I hate exams.”
“Oh please.”
“I’m just saying,” Fin starts, holding up his hands. “That in order to keep you in this squad room, Sergeant ; another one of us has to also move up.”
“I have to take and pass the exam first.”
Fin shoots a ‘ are you serious’ look her way; because there’s no way in hell Amanda isn’t passing that exam when she sits for it.
“But just as long as I don’t gotta start calling you Seregant Carisi.”
Amanda starts to respond just as there’s a very familiar voice calling from the middle of the squad room.
“Is there an Amanda Rollins here?”
“Are you a delivery boy now?” Amanda asks around a laugh as she turns in her seat to face Sonny.
He’s standing next to her desk, holding a take out bag. He lifts it up. “It is lunch time.” He holds up his other hand just as Olivia walks out of her office. “I also have that warrant you want.”
Olivia takes it and tosses it on Velasco’s desk. “Take Bruno… Rollins, enjoy your lunch,” she sends Amanda’s way with a knowing look.
Amanda pushes herself away from her desk, standing up to join Sonny.
“I thought you would be in meetings or trial prepping all day.”
His hand grazes the small of her back as he leads her into the break room. “I moved things around.”
They keep most of their professionalism but some of it falls away as they shift from Counselor Carisi and Detective Rollins to Sonny and Amanda. He sets the bags on one of the tables and pulls out one of the chairs for her, and pushes it in when she sits down.
“You don’t think this is a little much for a quick little lunch date at my work?”
“On our anniversary?” he responds quickly, taking his own seat across from her. “Absolutely not.”
Amanda stares over at him and he’s wearing the same love struck expression that he had on a May night overlooking the Hudson
“The diner we frequented when we were still partners,” she says softly when her gaze finally falls on the logo on the bag.
Sonny draws her attention towards the other bag. “I also brought zeppole.”
Amanda’s breath catches, surprising her - two and a half years together and it still feels like those first few months. Sonny continues to prove to her that there are good men out there and that she does deserve to be loved - showing their daughters that too.
“Because it’s what you brought when we first met.”
“You remember that?” He asks, shock clearly evident in his face as he slides her food towards her.
“The annoying new guy brought food and didn’t try to hit on me?” Amanda quips, a slight smile for info on her face. “Yeah kinda.”
“I wasn’t that annoying.”
Amanda snorts. “Do you remember how you were back then? Or that Liv threatened to transfer you on your first day?” Her voice softens. “But no, I guess you weren’t really that bad, you grew into it anyway.”
“I learned a lot from the senior officers in the squad.”
“I’m not just talking about your job role, Sonny. You were there for me and for Jesse in so many ways when you didn’t even have to.”
“You were my partner,” he says simply.
“And maybe you were already kind of in love with me,” she responds, remembering that night he’d finally admitted it to her.
Sonny laughs and ducks his head.
She reaches across the table and pokes his arm. “I’m not actually teasing you.”
They sit and they eat and the conversation just flows between them. It kind of amazes her, just a little, how they’ve known each other and how they’ve never seemed to run out of conversation.
But even when they’re not talking, it’s still comfortable and she enjoys just being in his presence.
A knock on the door and Olivia’s voice has Amanda turning her gaze. “I think we’ve got something.”
“Yeah okay,” Amanda replies. “Give me a minute.”
“I’ll give you five.”
Amanda just rolls her eyes before turning to Sonny.
“Walk you out Counselor?”
The two of them fall into step as they head down the hallway, towards the elevator. They come to a stop and he presses the button.
“Do you need anything else before I go?”
“Just one thing.”
Amanda lays a hand on his chest, pushes up on her toes and brushes her lips against his; just a fleeting touch because of where they are.
His hand grazes her elbow as she sinks back down.
“I’ll see you for dinner,” he tells her with a twinkle in his eyes and she knows he has something else up his sleeve.
He steps into the elevator when the doors open.
“You will.”
And she knows even if the case drags on, Olivia will probably be kicking her out of the precinct anyway.
The rest of the afternoon goes by painfully slow, and they end up with a road block in their case. Their main suspect is not talking. The squad is sitting at their respective desks in the squad room, though Churlish is perched on the empty desk near the whiteboard, going back through the evidence.
“We just need something to make him crack.”
“We can just hold him,” Fin supplies, leaning back in his chair. “Let him stew overnight if we need to.”
Amanda’s only half listening to Bruno and Fin’s conversation, her mind drifting slightly from the case - something she wouldn’t normally do. She bites her lip, pulling it between her teeth as her eyes glance over the text on her phone.
“Those text messages better be PG-12,” Fin tosses her directions, startling her just a little.
Amanda snorts as she glances over at him. “Why? Are you gonna read them?”
Fin holds up his hands. “Absolutely not, I don’t need to know that information.”
“Please.”
“As I was saying,” Fin directs the conversation back towards their case. “Why don’t you and Velasco take a crack at him.”
Honestly it is just like riding a bike: because every time Amanda steps into that interrogation room, it’s like she never left. Hell the first time she stepped back into the squad room as a detective again, it was like she’d never left; easily stepping back into that Detective Rollins mindset.
She and Velasco are able to pull some helpful information out of their suspect; and it leads to the guys going back out in the field; because Olivia is keeping Amanda firmly in the squad room today.
It’s later when Amanda and Olivia are sitting in her office, when it finally dawns on Amanda that Olivia was keeping her in the precinct for a specific reason today.
Olivia taps the screen on her phone, lighting up the screen to glance at the time. “Shouldn’t you be leaving soon?”
“What?” Amanda asks from her perch on the couch.
“I am under strict orders to get you out of this squad room in an orderly fashion… Apparently your husband has plans tonight…and he’s dragged me into them.”
Amanda smiles, knowing full well about their dinner reservations: but then she remembers the reason she was dragged out of bed just before her alarm went off.
“The case,” Amanda replies almost immediately, pointing out at the squad room.
“We can handle it without you,” Olivia responds. “We made it without you for this long - though I’m not sure how -“ she mutters that last part mostly to herself. “We can handle one night.”
“I don’t want to make it seem like I’m not pullin’ my weight, Liv…”
“Please, you single handedly helped us solve the highest profile case we’ve seen all year and you weren’t even a cop at the time,” Liv brushes off her concerns, a slight twinkle in her eyes. “Besides, I believe I told you that I would do whatever I needed to make your return to the NYPD possible - this is one of those things.”
There’s a knock on Olivia’s office door and Sonny’s stepping through.
“And well,” Olivia says, standing up. “Your husband’s already here to get you.”
Amanda pushes herself off the couch and before she even realizes it, Olivia’s pulling her into a hug, whispering a ‘enjoy your anniversary’ to her before she’s shoving them both out of her office.
“I hear you’ve got plans tonight counselor,” Amanda says as they make a stop at her desk for her things.
“One or two maybe.”
Amanda’s standing in front of the bathroom mirror, re-styling her hair into waves, soft music coming from the speaker she has on the counter. Bille perches on the edge of the bathtub, glancing up at her mom.
“Can I come with you and daddy?” Billie asks, eyes bright, the same pleading expression and head tilt as Sonny that sends a jolt straight to Amanda’s heart, the way Sonny’s love and presence in their daughters’ lives always make an appearance in their expressions and mannerisms.
Amanda turns and kneels to Billie’s level. “You know you’re gonna have so much more fun with your sister and Nonna,” she tells her youngest daughter, tapping her nose. “Besides, I think she and Nonno have something special planned for you.”
Billie’s face lights up at that. “Really?”
“Really,” Amanda answers with her own smile. “And maybe even something special for in the morning before school… and I promise you, I’ll plan a night with just us girls or one with just the two of us if that’s what you want.”
“Can daddy and I have our own special night too?”
“Of course.”
The smile doesn’t leave Billie’s face and it alleviates some of the anxiety and guilt Amanda hadn’t realized she was carrying. She had been trying her best to make sure the girls didn’t feel left out with all the new attention on the baby. Needing them to know that she and Sonny didn’t love them any less or differently now that their little brother was in the world.
Apparently it was working.
Amanda reaches up and unplugs the hair tool before leading Billie out of the bathroom, and back towards her bedroom. “In fact, why don’t you spend some time thinking about what you would want to do.”
“Okay!” She tells, turning on her heel and running towards the staircase.
“Careful on the steps!” Amanda calls after her, needing to remind their middlest.
Amanda walks into their room and towards their bed where a dress is laid out across the mattress. Her husband isn’t the only one with plans tonight.”
Amanda’s about to open the coat closet when there’s a knock at the door that Amanda would assume is Serafina if she wasn’t already in their house. Though Serafina would just use her spare key and help herself.
Amanda’s confusion turns to awe when she opens the door and Sonny is standing on the other side of the threshold, a small bouquet of flowers in his hand. “This is your house too,” she says in a soft voice.
“Yeah well, I am takin’ a beautiful woman out on a date,'' Sonny replies, holding out the flowers. “I want to make a good first impression.”
As if they hadn’t skipped right over the dating part of their relationship, a feat fairly easy to do when you’d already known the person for the better part of half a decade.
Amanda peaks behind him and notices the car in a different spot. “Did you drive around the block?”
“Maybe.”
The gesture and the love struck look on his face, what it all means, still makes her heart flutter, and she doesn’t miss his sharp intake of breath when his eyes rake over her.
“You look breathtaking Amanda.”
She had chosen the same dress from Fin’s not-wedding for a reason.
And she’s suddenly feeling like a lovestruck teenager herself as she takes the flowers from him and allows him inside while she fetches a vase for them. “So then, where are you taking me? Or is it still a surprise?”
Sonny just hums in response as he helps her slip into her coat.
“Thought so,” Amanda quips.
It’s not that extravagant, just a little family owned Italian restaurant; but it’s where Sonny took her for their first real date and it has Amanda’s breath catching in her throat as she remembers that night.
“You and your plans, Dominick Carisi,” she says once they’re seated.
“It’s been kind of crazy here lately,” he tells her, reaching across the space and taking her hand in his, running his thumb across her knuckles. “Didn’t want my wife to think I wasn’t appreciating her or –”
But she’s cutting him off by flipping their hands around and reaching across the table with her other hand, so she can grasp his hand with both of hers. “I don’t think that, Dominick.”
“I just –” he huffs out a breath and ducks his head.
“Hey,” she says, squeezing his hand. “There is no one else I’d rather do this with… I love you, I love our kids and our life even with how crazy it’s been.”
“I am happy ,” she repeats firmly, and she steals a glance around the restaurant, her tone softer when she speaks again. “And you didn’t need to do all of this to prove anything; but I still appreciate it and you.”
That seems to relieve some of the tension she can clearly see in his shoulders. And they turn back to their menus and place their orders when their waitress comes back. Their conversation follows as freely as it always does: only added with a bit more heat and tension than in the break room at the precinct.
There’s a twinkle in Sonny’s eye as they step out of the restaurant. “I do have one more thing.”
Amanda raises an eyebrow and tilts her head. “Oh really?”
Sonny just nods as he leads her down the sidewalk.
“Carisi, where are we going?” she asks, again for what had probably been the umpteenth time since they left the restaurant. Of course, every time she asks, he just shoots her that sideways cheeky grin of his as they continue walking hand in hand.
On any other night, she wouldn’t care too much about where they’re going, or even if there’s a real destination in mind. Normally, she would be more than happy just leisurely strolling the streets of Manhattan with her husband, extending the night for as long as they can.
Nights like this have been slim to none for the past few months; between balancing three kids, two school schedules, Jesse’s soccer games, Sonny’s case load and her return to the NYPD, on top of her studying for the Sergeant's exam.
Their coffee table is currently filled with her study materials after all.
But not in the early days of December, when the weather has already taken a turn towards freezing.
“We’re almost there anyway,” he responds, steering her around a building that seemed all too familiar to her, and not just because she’d probably passed it a hundred times.
“You know I hate surprises,” she grumbles; but there was no ill intent behind her tone; not when her husband looks like a damn kid on Christmas as he leads her down another sidewalk.
“I have a feelin’ you’ll like this one…or at least I hope ya will.”
If she was being completely honest, she was beginning to appreciate Sonny Carisi’s surprises.
It finally dawns on her just where they were when her gaze falls on a wooden boardwalk, a railing and the view of the Hudson just behind it.
Amanda comes to an abrupt stop and lets out a breath. “Sonny….”
Sonny drops her hand, but just to wrap his arm around her shoulder and lean in closer to her to whisper in her ear. “Told ya, you’d like this one.”
She reaches over and playfully smacks his chest before letting him lead her towards the edge of the boardwalk, a small little cutout tucked away from the rest of it - a place that just over two years ago, her entire life changed, a place that their life changed.
When Amanda finally shoved past the rest of her walls, pushed past that underlying anxiety and took a leap to crossing lines into something more for them.
Amanda leans against the railing just like she had that night and stares at Carisi; her best friend, her partner, her husband - a speech about partnership echoing in the back of her mind.
A partnership is a lot like a marriage .
She realizes just how much they’ve been through since she took that leap, how Sonny promised her tomorrow in a courthouse hallway and has kept that promise in the months following.
Overwhelmed with emotion, just like that May night, she leans up and presses her lips to his. Just like that night, she loses herself in the kiss as his hands grip her waist and pull her closer.
“Happy anniversary,” Sonny breathes against her lips when they break apart.
“Do I even want to know how you did all this?” She asks him, running her hands up his chest.
“I have my ways.”
“Well, do you have anything else up your sleeves, Counselor ?” She asks him, an obvious sultry lilt to her voice that has him stopping mid step.
He gulps. “I was gonna see if you wanted a drink….or three…. Unless.”
“Well, your parents did take the kids for the night,” The hand that’s wrapped around him, dipping lower on his hip. “And that means we do have an empty house…”
“That we do.”
“Might as well take advantage of it while we can,” she says, pointedly. “And warm me up.”
They don’t bother turning the lights on when they get back to the house, more than willing to let the moonlight and muscle memory guide them. After almost six months of living here, navigating it has finally become second nature.
Amanda allows Sonny to lead her up the stairs and it’s when they clear the landing that Amanda backs him against the nearest wall - and this time they don’t have to worry about being quiet.
From there, it’s the same dance they’ve done multiple times over the last two years - the two of them are perfectly in tuned with one another.
It’s moans and sighs and clothes shedding until Sonny’s gently laying her down on the bed. Hands wandering and leaving feather-like touches against the scars across her body, followed by the gentlest press of his lips - the way he always does.
It always sends a rush of emotions through her, how gentle he is with her; but something about the night makes it mean so much more. They cross that precipice together with just a mixed sigh of their names in the dark of the night.
Afterwards, when she’s slightly caught her breath, she curls into his side, letting her head fall against his chest as he arm comes around her.
“Happy anniversary,” Sonny tells her again, pressing his lips against her forehead.
“It’s been a whole year,” she says as if it still shocks her and maybe in a way that it does. That she’s spent a year being married - something she never thought she’d be - to her best friend, her partner in every form of the word.
“I hope it’s been a good one.”
She pushes up, balancing on her elbow so that she can press a tender kiss to his lips. “It’s been a great one.”
And she knows, without a doubt, that they’re gonna have many more great years from here. That this is a forever kind of thing.