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It’s ironic, Nico thinks, that Jason’s death hits him like a lightning strike to his chest.
There’s no grand battle, at least not for Nico, no dramatic scene or showdown. No chance for him to step in and change fate. One moment he’s walking hand in hand with Will to the archery range, smiling at his boyfriend as he tells some ridiculous story from the infirmary. The next, he’s doubled over and he can’t breathe because Jason is dying somewhere and Nico isn’t there to stop it, but he can feel it. Gods, he can feel it.
The shock hits him in the heart, sucking the air right from his lungs before rippling down his arms and buzzing in his hands. He stumbles into Will, grasping for purchase as he tries to suck in breath after trembling breath. But he can’t - it’s like his insides have shriveled up, it’s like he’s been fried.
“Nico?” Will wraps his arms around Nico in an instant, tugging him towards a nearby bench. But Nico’s body goes limp before he can sit, and they end up on the ground together. Around him, the grass turns brown, the bugs stop their buzzing; all of it dead.
“Non può essere,” Nico sputters. “Non può essere.”
“Nico, dear, I need some deep breaths.” Will takes some water from the bottle at his hip and splashes it into Nico’s face. The coolness on his skin forces some stronger breaths into his lungs, but he still struggles to control the pounding of his heart.
There are faint footsteps that approach before they stumble to a stop. “Will? What’s wrong?”
It’s Kayla who speaks, but Nico knows Austin must be with her. Nico can only imagine the horror in their eyes as they stumble to a stop at the edge of the dying grass that circles him and Will, but he can’t see anything past the tears blurring his vision.
“Get Mr. D or Chiron, yeah?” Will is shouting, but he sounds so quiet beneath the blood rushing in Nico’s ears. “Tell ‘em it’s an emergency.”
The other two children of Apollo don’t say a word, or at least they don’t say anything that Nico can hear. He’s left with Will, who supports his weight as he heaves into the grass even though there isn’t anything in his stomach.
“What is it, Nico?” Will asks, desperate. “Who is it?”
“Non lui. Per favore, non lui.”
Will gives up on getting a response, and instead loops his arms beneath Nico’s armpits and hoists him onto the nearby bench. The second Nico is sitting, Will presses his hand against the nape of Nico’s neck, forcing his head to rest between his knees. Of course, Nico fights him. The feel of Will’s skin against his makes the nausea worse, and so he pushes Will away. Instead, he ends up with his hands clasped over his ears and his head bowed towards the ground. He keeps his eyes squeezed shut, Jason’s face flashing across his vision. There’s blood splashed across his face, and Nico can’t tell if it’s a hallucination or a vision.
“Nico, you need to let me help. I know it’s hard, but you’re hurting yourself, and I don’t want your powers getting outta control.”
But Nico is so focused on trying to feel Jason’s spirit pass to the Underworld that he doesn’t think he’d be raising the dead anytime soon. Still, Will pries Nico’s fingers from his head (he hadn’t even noticed that he had dug them into his scalp) and holds them tight. The warmth of Will’s skin usually calms his nerves, but today it feels like he’s burning up. Before Nico can push Will away, Mr. D’s booming voice comes from across the field.
“Where’s the emergency?” Will leaves Nico’s side briefly, rushing over to fill him in. The temperature around him seems to drop with Will gone, and Nico starts to shiver.
Just moments later, Mr. D is on the bench beside Nico. He speaks in a soft voice that Nico isn’t sure he’s ever heard from him before.
“What did you feel?”
Nico swallows before forcing himself upright, yet still rocking back and forth from the shock of it all. Will lowers to his other side and takes one of Nico’s hands in his again. His touch is more bearable now, it doesn’t fill Nico with repulsion or cause him to shy away like a cornered animal. Will’s grasp helps to ground him, it helps to get the words out.
“Jason. It’s Jason.”
“Jason Grace? Didn’t you say he was at school?” Will asks.
“He should be,” Nico stutters. It was less than a year ago that Jason had told Nico of his plans for the coming months. After failing to find Leo, he was going to go to mortal school, he was going to rebuild Camp Jupiter. He had plans. He had hopes.
“But you felt him die, didn’t you?” Mr. D’s voice is blunt, his face unchanging. Will gasps, his grip on Nico’s hand tightening. There is a long, terrible silence, that only Nico fills when he confirms Mr. D’s assumption.
“I did.”
Mr. D doesn’t apologize or give Nico a reassuring look. He simply nods, and for some reason, that’s all Nico needs from him.
“Let’s get you to the Big House,” Mr. D stands.
Without a word, Will lifts Nico from the bench. He might have argued, but all he can do is rest his head against Will’s chest and listen to his heartbeat. Alive. He lets his eyes drift shut, but his mind is quickly flooded with images of Jason; there’s blood mixed in with water, and when Nico sees Jason’s face, he’s not wearing his glasses. So Nico keeps his eyes trained on the space just past Will’s bicep, ignoring the campers who stare at them as they pass.
When they reach the Big House, Chiron is waiting for them. He doesn’t say a thing, he only opens the door for them to enter. He eyes Nico with caution and pity. Will, whispering words of comfort that Nico can’t quite understand, sits him on the couch.
“Will, I’m sure you can-”
Nico doesn’t let Mr. D finish. “He’s staying.”
His words are sharp, even though Nico can barely lift his head to look Mr. D in the eye. Still, there’s no argument and Will lowers beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Nico rests his head on his shoulder, letting his weight melt into Will.
“There’s not much we can do, not if we can’t send an iris message out.” Chiron is pacing, his hooves clicking against the old wood.
“What if Camp Jupiter is under attack? What if they need our help?” Will’s voice is taut, and his grip on Nico tightens as he speaks.
Nico shakes his head. “He’s not at camp. He’s… somewhere else. I don’t know where, but he’s not at camp.”
“You’re positive?” Chiron asks.
“Yes, but I should… I’ll shadow travel there. I can check in, I’ll-” His entire body is shaking now. He tries to stand, but Will holds tight.
“No way,” Will interrupts. “Not in this state. You’re stayin’ here.”
“Will is right,” Chiron agrees. “You’ll only make things worse for yourself if you try to shadow travel.”
He needs to see Reyna, he needs to see Hazel. He needs to see the body.
“I can’t- we can’t just let this happen, if-”
Mr.D gives Nico a look that freezes him mid-sentence. “You will stay here. We’ll get confirmation of his death, if he’s dead, sooner or later.”
Will squeezes Nico’s shoulder. “This could just be another mess up in demigod communications. Let’s not assume the worst.”
Nico shoots up from the couch, so quickly this time that Will can’t stop him. “I saw him - Jason is dead.”
No one has a response for him. It’s silent, and no one dares move except for Will who reaches out to take Nico’s hand. When Will tugs his arm, he has no choice but to sit back on the couch. His body gives out beneath him.
“We trust you, Nico,” Will reassures. “But it’s hard to believe this is true.”
“Jason is, was, a brave demigod. His death is a great loss to both camps,” Chiron says.
Jason’s death is a great loss to me, Nico thinks. He was his first real friend, one of the few who didn’t shy away from the son of Hades.
“We’ll keep things quiet for now,” Chiron continues. “Until we get confirmation. We don’t want to worry the campers.”
Nico drops his head into his hands, biting his tongue. He wishes he could ignore the truth like the rest of the demigods, but he just had to know.
Will wraps an arm around Nico’s shoulder, pulling him close. “We’ll head back to Cabin 13. I can keep an eye on him there.”
Nico pretends not to hear Will. He wants to decline his help, to lash out and tell Will that he’s plenty capable of taking care of himself. It’s a battle he fights every day - accepting Will’s dotting aid. He’s been better; he doesn’t argue anymore, or cringe away from his touch. Today, he’s too tired to even try that.
“We’ll let you know if we hear anything,” Chiron nods. “And you should do the same.”
Mr. D just hums in agreement. When Will pulls Nico from the couch and helps him out the doors, Mr. D offers a pat on the back.
“I’m sorry, kid,” he whispers. Nico only sighs, burying himself deeper in Will’s side as if he could hide from the truth.
☠
It’s been three days, so Will has decided to get one of the Hermes kids to pick the lock on Nico’s cabin.
After telling Chiron the news, Will brought Nico back to his cabin. He tucked him into his bunk and ran his fingers through his hair while Nico sobbed. It went on for a while, and eventually, Will decided that he needed to get Nico some food and water. When he returned from the kitchens, the door to Cabin 13 was locked.
Kayla and Austin had to stop him from knocking down the door. He knew that Nico shouldn’t be on his own while he was in his current state. There was the possibility of him shadow-traveling across the country without telling anyone or his powers spiraling wildly out of control. It took a lot to convince Will that Nico needed time alone. After all, it was his job. He couldn’t just let someone who needed help suffer on their own - boyfriend or not.
The first day was torture. Will practically spent the entire day stalking Nico’s window, waiting for a sign. There weren’t any, and he had to be dragged back to his cabin where he continued to pace until midnight. The second day was the same, but even Kayla and Austin were getting worried. So on day three when Nico still hadn’t emerged, they permitted Will to break in.
The Hermes kid is young and entirely too excited to be breaking into Cabin 13. Will spends the entire time taking steadying breaths. He isn’t sure what he’ll say to Nico, but he’s sure it’ll come to him.
“Hurry up,” Will whispers under his breath. Nico needs him, and he needs to know that Nico is okay.
“William Solace,” Mr. D’s voice comes booming through the woods. Will freezes and the Hermes’ kid slinks towards his own cabin before Will can even shoo him away. He had offered to do the boy’s chores for the weekend, but they’d have to figure that out later - especially because the door was still locked.
“What are you doing?” Mr. D stands in front of Will with his arms crossed over his chest. Will just bites his tongue - he’s a terrible liar and Mr.D will know the second he tries to make something up.
“I was just trying to check in on Nico, sir,” Will says. “But the door is locked.”
Mr.D huffs, pulling a ring of keys from his pocket. Will feels his eyes go wide.
“You’ve had keys this entire time?”
“Of course I have keys - I am the director of the camp, as unfortunate as that is.”
Will swallows. “His door’s been locked for the past few days and I-”
Mr. D cuts Will off with a look. “Look, I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but he locked you out for a reason.”
“What do you mean? You’ve talked to him?”
Will gets it, he really does. It’s not an uncommon trauma response to push away those who can help you. Plus, Nico is stubborn - really stubborn. It’s constantly a battle for Nico to accept Will’s help. Will just wishes it didn’t have to be this way; not with this.
“He doesn’t want you seeing him because he’s embarrassed, so I’ve spent the last few days checking in on him.”
“Really?”
Mr. D rolls his eyes. “Did you really think I was going to let Nico hide away for three days?”
Will stares at Mr. D.
“Actually, don’t answer that.”
Finally, Mr. D inserts the key into the lock and opens the door. Light creeps across the floor of the Hades cabin, but it barely illuminates the arching shadows that fill the cabin like a void. What little furniture inside the cabin has been thrown around: an overturned table, a shattered mirror, clothes thrown from the closet. Will picks his way through the debris and towards Nico’s bunk as Mr. D closes the door behind him. The bed sits in a small alcove hidden by thick curtains. When Will visits, they sometimes sit in bed with the curtains drawn. It makes Will feel like the rest of the world has disappeared, leaving only them behind. He tugs at the curtain now, calling Nico’s name.
“Are you awake?”
There’s no response, so Will pulls back the curtains, revealing Nico curled beneath the blankets. He’s pressed his back to the wall and doesn’t move a muscle, even when Will sits on the edge of the bed and runs his fingers through his hair. It’s greasy and knotted - Will is sure Nico hasn’t left his bed since hearing the news.
“Hey,” Will says. Nico just blinks, staring into the space just past Will’s knee.
Nico’s face is gaunt, his skin pale (more so than usual). The bags beneath his eyes have grown deep, and Will has to wonder if he’s slept at all.
“Has he eaten anything?” Will turns to Mr. D who is leaning against the opposite wall.
“Not much. Maybe a few crackers - he refused most of what I offered.”
Will inhales sharply, balling his hands into fists. He wishes he had gotten in earlier - maybe helped Nico eat or even get him outside for a bit. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Mr. D (not entirely at least), but he isn’t exactly sure how much he’s helped.
“Let’s get you something to eat, yeah?” Will whispers to Nico. “Maybe some fresh air? You don’t have to talk at all, we just gotta get you movin’.”
Nico blinks, eyes focusing on Mr. D before they expand. Something passes between them, sending a chill down Will’s spine. He doesn’t know what it is, but he knows it can’t be good.
“What is it?” he asks, looking back at Mr. D with narrow eyes. “What happened?”
Mr. D shakes his head. “I can’t be the one to tell him.”
Nico exhales and then uses Will’s support to sit up. Will takes his hand, pressing his fingers against Nico’s pulse. It’s racing. He opens his mouth, but his breath catches in his throat. No words come out, so he just drops his eyes to the floor.
“I caught him trying to head into the Underworld,” Mr. D grumbles, arms crossed over his chest. Nico winces at his voice, dropping his head into his hands.
“Oh Nico,” Will exhales, his heart racing as he tries not to think of everything that could have gone wrong. “You didn’t.”
“Luckily, I caught him early enough. There’s was no harm done.”
“He can’t be dead,” Nico sobs. “I can’t-”
“Hey, Nico, don’t-”
But before Will can finish, Nico’s breath goes shallow. Will looks over at his boyfriend and can just tell that Nico isn’t there anymore. There’s a certain look in his eyes and a drop in his shoulders. His edges start to melt into the shadows, and Will has to grab his hand to anchor him.
“Has this been happening?” Will frantically asks, turning to Mr. D.
“I told you,” Mr. D responds. “He didn’t want you seeing him like this.”
“What is this?”
Mr. D pulls a piece of wrinkled paper from his pocket and hands it over to Will who takes it with shaking hands. In Nico’s messy scrawl is a mix of Italian and English, all of it near nonsense. Will can make out Jason’s name of course, but Bianca is written about half a dozen times as well. There are drawings too - rough sketches of pomegranate seeds and dark twisted trees.
“He told me he wasn’t having nightmares as often,” Will whispers, his throat lodged with tears. Nico was getting better, Will was sure of that. They had worked together, putting the Tartarus and his capture behind him, but it seemed that those memories were still haunting his mind.
“Until Jason,” Mr. D said, taking the piece of paper back. “But now, it’s not just nightmares. It’s visions, hallucinations, voices.”
“Voices?”
Mr. D nods. “He said something, or someone, is calling him from Tartarus.”
From beside him, Nico twitches and lets out a soft yelp. Will flinches, and Mr. D shakes his head.
“What are we supposed to do? How can we help him? I-”
“Will, enough,” Mr. D snaps. “This isn’t something that you can cure. You need to let me help him.”
Will looks over at Nico’s shaking frame and listens to his heaving sobs. This isn’t an injury he can heal or a problem he can talk through. He looks up at Mr. D, god of madness, and another chill goes down his spine.
He feels like he’s going to vomit.
Sobs bubbling from his throat, Will drops his head into his hands. It’s not fair. Nico has already suffered and lost so much, but it was looking like he had finally found some semblance of normalcy - or at least normalcy for a demigod. Nico shouldn’t have to go through this again. He might not even be able to make it through this again.
“Things will work out,” Mr.D whispers. He doesn’t sound hopeful, but he sounds honest.
So Will rubs the tears from his eyes and straightens, pushing the panic away. From beside him, Nico shudders and then falls limp against Will - asleep. He lowers Nico’s head to his pillow and presses a kiss to his forehead.
“Can I at least stay here while he sleeps?” Will asks. His voice feels so small. “Please.”
Mr.D sighs, then nods.
“Thank you.”
“I’ll be here first thing in the morning, and I expect you to leave then. Understood?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good,” Mr. D says. “Now get some rest.”
When Mr.D closes the door to the cabin behind him, the room goes dead silent. Nico’s ragged breathing is the only sound. Slowly, Will wraps himself around Nico, holding him tight.
For tonight, at least, he’ll do the best he can to help Nico. The Gods only know what will happen next.