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Her legs were tired, but she kept running. Lungs working overtime to keep up, but she didn’t stop. Her brain finally making sense of what her heart had long since figured out is what finally made Rukia stop running.
“I-I’m… in love with him…” she spoke to no one, as she was alone on the street and night had fallen hours ago.
The revelation hit her like bus. She was in love with the brash but thoughtful boy she had been spending almost all her time with. After their initial run in, his presence has invaded every aspect of her life.
At that thought, she let out a wistful sigh. The word “invade” could hardly describe his meaningful role in her life right now. Her mind begins to wander over the events of the past couple months. Wondering where she went wrong. Was it when she decided to go undercover and keep an eye on him even in school? Or was it when she decided living at Urahara shoten wasn’t quite close enough to keep an eye on him, so she took up residence in his closet of all places.
She begins walking at a brisk pace. Every conversation, every moment replaying in her head. The way he’d wake her up with food he’d scavenge from the kitchen to the times he’d bring her something new to wear. She would blush at the remembrance of how sheepish he’d been that one time he slipped and said something of Yuzu’s would look cute on her or the time he’d surprised her with a plush because he had noticed how she tends to draw bunnies. Rukia wasn’t used to someone paying attention to her, Byakuya treated her like a memorial to Hisana, Renji seemingly ran for it when she mentioned the adoption, and Kaien…
She shook the thought from her mind but not quickly enough, the damage was done. Her heart already hurting from trying to process the idea that the little slice of joy she had found in Ichigo was now breaking from remembering the demise of her mentor.
She started trying desperately to hold the pieces together. She called up memories of late night chats with Ichigo, where they would quietly tell their secrets to each other in confidence. The way he’d understood her trauma and the peace she would feel radiating in his reiatsu as he unpacked his in front of her. she’d never known that she could help mend someone as broken as she was. She’d never thought she’d find a kindred soul she could bond with as closely as she had with his in such a short time.
A smile dared to cross her face, but her brain reminded her of what’s to come and once again she’s running. She has to get far away, but where she’s going she doesn’t know. She only knows with each stride she’s moving further away from her comfort, from her home.
The thought pushes her over the edge. Her head is in overdrive now, split between fond reminiscing and growing despair. She knows hope of starting anything with Ichigo is doomed. She knows she is doomed, she knows why but she will not admit that giving her powers to him was a mistake. To admit that seems like it would invalidate her love for him. She knows if she hadn’t done it, they wouldn’t have gotten the time they had together and she wouldn’t trade that for anything, not even for one more day to live.
A blade whizzes by her face and she realizes her executioners have appeared before her. She doesn’t run, she doesn’t protest. She gathers her nerve and steadies herself as she marches to her end, her mind set on doom but her heart set on seeing Ichigo again.