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“Do me a favor? Don’t bring me back.”
A chill ran up Tessa’s spine. He couldn’t be-
“N?” she asked, ignoring how her voice shook.
She reached for him, eyes searching his optics. But all she found there was a resigned despair. ‘You did that,’ a voice hissed in her mind, ‘You made him feel like that.’ Her drone gave her a small, wry smile,
“Bye, Tessa.”
The human lurched towards him, horror flashing in her eyes, but she was too late. The cannon against his head flashed a brilliant golden-yellow as she screamed and N’s body pitched forward. Tessa slid the rest of the way towards him on her knees, catching him around his shoulders before he hit the floor. There was a charred, sparking hole where the beam from the cannon penetrated his CPU. All of his true eyes flashed red simultaneously then went dark.
“No, no, no, nonononono-“ Tessa gasped, turning N over in her lap. But there, sitting in the middle of his HUD, was a Fatal Error screen. N’s head lolled lifelessly on her shoulder and she choked on a sob. Her boy…her N was gone. She’d won…but at what cost? Tessa clung tightly to N and wailed. She didn’t care if more Sentinels found her or some other horrid creature. Her baby boy was gone…and she was still here. How was she meant to keep going? Keep living? When they had been separated before, although it was painful, she knew her kid was alive. Her eyes flitted to the small purple drone, whose hand N was still holding even in death.
She stared at their joined hands, irrational rage roiling in her stomach before she breathed deeply and allowed it to dissipate. Grief made her throat swell and she stifled her sobs as she thumbed a small, red button on the underside of her helmet. A distress beacon. One J had insisted she install before they ventured down to Copper 9’s surface and into Cabin Fever Labs. At first she had been opposed to the idea but now she’s glad J had convinced her otherwise. Tessa crawled over to the wall where N had been leaning, curling against it and pulling N’s body partially into her lap. There she waited, stroking his oil soaked hair and murmuring apologies.
Tessa doesn’t know how long she waited. She knew J would get to her…eventually. But she didn’t bother keeping track of the time. Why would she? When her whole world had crashed down around her? It was ultimately the shaking of the floors above her that heralded her remaining drone’s arrival. When J crashed through the ceiling oil dripped from her claws and Tessa noted, somewhat detached, that there were yellow tears sliding down her faceplate.
“Tessa…” she rasped.
“I’m over here, J.”
J’s head whipped around and her display optics pinned her in place. She blinked several times as if to make sure she was actually seeing her. Briefly relief flickered across her visor before she registered N’s unmoving form. Her arms dropped to her side listlessly and she staggered to Tessa’s side before dropping to her knees. Her claws retracted and were replaced by her hands as she shakily reached out to him. Her optics bounced up to Tessa, a kind of desperation in them,
“Is he-?”
Tessa swallowed and nodded. J visibly struggled to hold back her emotions. Her hands clenched into fists on the dirty floor,
“I’ve lost them both…” she whispered.
“You found V?” Tessa asked quietly
J gave a half shrug, tears filling her display optics once more,
“What was left of her.” her gaze went to the small purple drone, “And her?”
“Also gone.” the human confirmed, “It’s over, J.”
J felt herself exhale heavily even though she didn’t need to. She stood, holding a hand out to Tessa.
“Let’s get you out of here.”
Her human companion nodded slowly. She carefully laid N up against the wall, next to his friend. Maybe it was his way of saying he was ok…but a moment later the little drone’s head fell on his shoulder and his on her head. Tessa hiccuped a little bit but smiled behind her helmet.
“Yeah, I’m ready.”
J eyed N’s body,
“You’re not taking him with us?”
“No…he wanted to stay here with her. I…I want to honor his last wishes.”
J winced but nodded. She scooped Tessa into her arms and blasted upward and away from this terrible, deadly place. Her core ached…true she was never fond of N but seeing him gone so soon after seeing what was left of V: It left a bad taste in her mouth. They had known each other for such a long time and now…she was the only one left. She didn’t say anything as Tessa tucked her head into her chest plate but she moved an arm so she could cradle her better.
As she swooped down to the spaceship, she felt Tessa shaking in her arms. Swiftly J unlocked it and boarded, carrying the distressed human to her quarters. She carefully removed her helmet and combed through her messy hair. Tessa merely sniffed and curled tighter into her.
“Stay with me?” she asked, voice impossibly soft
“Of course.”
The human kicked off her space boots and all but collapsed on her bed, bringing J with her. J nestled her chin on top of Tessa’s head, her wings deploying to encircle them. Her human held her back just as tightly as she held onto her.
“Hey…boss?”
“Mmm?”
J bit her lip,
“Isn’t there a way you could…I dunno, bring them back? Like you did for me?”
Tessa rubbed at her eyes tiredly, sitting up,
“I suppose I could…in theory.”
“In theory?”
J sat up with her, placing a hand on her knee to encourage her to continue. Sighing Tessa explained,
“I do have backup’s of their memories, like yours, but only from several months ago. When you were first cloned. We got so busy with Cyn after that I hadn’t updated it in a long while.” She crossed her arms, looking uncomfortable, “They wouldn’t be themselves. N wouldn’t know who I am. I’m not sure when he got his memories back but it was well after the last backup.”
J rubbed her fingers across her head,
“So he would only remember being in the disassembly drone squad and nothing after?”
Tessa nodded,
“V too. She was afflicted by the same virus N had.” she twisted her fingers together, “Besides he…asked me not to.”
“He what!” J balked
“N…” Tessa murmured, “Asked me to not bring him back.”
J felt her oil run cold. So…N hadn’t been struck down by a beast or by the purple thing. He’d…he’d actually-she held a hand to her mouth in shock, nausea rolling through her gut. Tessa watched her empathetically before her eyes drifted to the floor,
“I-I want to honor his choice. I-I think I understand now, a little, of what he felt.”
J eyed her, confusion clear in her gaze so Tessa explained,
“Just breathing knowing I’ll never see him again is agonizing. I-I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this. If-if he felt like this about that little purple drone,” she choked on a sob, “If I made him feel that way…I-“ she broke off, unable to continue.
J threw her arms around Tessa, hugging her tightly as she sobbed.
“I-I don’t know what the right choice was,” she said softly, “But I know N loved you. He wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up like this…” J rested her chin in Tessa’s hair, “I think the best thing you can do for him is what you said before…honor his wishes.”
Below her Tessa nodded as she hugged her tightly in return. They fell back on the bed and J felt her sleep cycle sneaking up on her. She was supremely tired. She felt Tessa nuzzle into her chest plate, then,
“You’ll stay with me, won’t you J?”
“Forever, Boss.” she murmured in response as the two drifted off into an exhausted slumber