Chapter Text
December always holds a weight of expectation. The month feels loaded with nostalgia and sentiment; charged with a lifetime of memories of childhood want in the lead-up to Christmas. A reminiscent sense of wonder. As an adult Meg had felt a similar sense of giddy pleasure in the month, knowing that the end of a term was approaching and an extended break lay ahead. This year there would be an additional layer of excitement, anticipation and longing as she counted down her own advent to be reunited with Matty. What a strange turn of events her life had taken this year, the end of one relationship and the start of another. In the less than six months she’d known Matty they’d spent only half of their time in each other’s physical company. Yet, despite that she felt that she knew him better than some of her oldest friends. The amount of time they’d spent talking on the phone, connecting and really getting to know one another helped bridge the distance immensely.
“Two weeks, darling. Going to be the longest two weeks of my life!” he says, dramatically.
“It’s been so long already, two weeks will feel like nothing.”
“Are you not missing me like I’m missing you?” He puts a strained voice on, trying to pull at her heart strings.
“Of course I am! Babe, I miss you so much, I just can’t let my brain go there or it’ll make things ten times harder.”
“I know, I’m sorry, I’m only teasing you.” He says. “Just know, once I’m back I am not leaving your side for the rest of the year! You’re going to be so sick of me but, I don’t care!”
“I will not be sick of you, promise.” She laughs.
“I’ll be holding you to that White Stripes!” he jokes. “Two weeks’ time, you’re all mine…” They unknowingly both smile and sigh in unison, hearts warmed by the thought of it.
“Where are you now?” she asks.
“North Carolina. It’s beautiful here by the ocean, I wish you could’ve come back over this tour.” He muses.
“Me too…I’d love to see on the beach.” She laughs at the idea; he seems so comically out of character in that setting.
“What’s so funny? You would bloody love to see me in my shorts, nearly naked, glistening in the sun!” There’s a short pause before he continues. “Yeah, nothing to say to that have you? Lost in your own private thoughts I bet.” He laughs too now.
“You’re not wrong…” she starts.
“Ugh, I want to be in your private thoughts so bad right now,” he murmurs.
“Believe me, you’re very much in my private thoughts, all the time.” She whispers and she can hear him swallowing down a sigh.
“Don’t do this to me. Not now. I have to go sort some shit out with George…Are you at home tonight?”
“Yeah, all alone tonight.” She teases.
“Listen, 9 o’clock tonight, got a surprise for you so be ready, ok?”
“Sounds interesting?” She’s intrigued now, wondering what he has in mind. “Is this the kind of surprise where you’re alone in your bunk and I’m alone in my room…”
“Oh god!” he lets out a frustrated moan. “It’s not…but I might have to change my plans now…just, just be ready ok? I have to go now, so you don’t destroy me before I have to go spend hours alone in a room with George!” She bites her lip trying to stifle another laugh before they hang up.
As evening approaches, she’s settles on the sofa with a glass of wine, taking comfort in a book and the warmth of a blanket. When she refills her glass she’s surprised how much time has passed, always easily lost within the pages of a good story, she smiles as it creeps closer to 9pm. She closes her book and finds herself consumed with anticipation, drumming her fingers as she waits, staring into the void of a black phone screen. Why isn’t he calling? Did he say he was calling? He just said to be ready for a surprise. What if he’s sending something to the flat? What if he has come home early to surprise her?! Her heart races at the prospect and even though her logical brain tells her it’s just not possible, she finds herself absentmindedly pacing the room, peering through the blinds out onto the street for any sign. Nothing. Eventually she slumps back onto the sofa, releasing the breath she didn’t realise she was holding. She checks her phone. Nothing. Some surprise! She thinks and opens her Instagram to distract her brain whilst she waits. Then she notices trumanblack started a live video and hurries to click on it.
There he is; sitting on the bed of his hotel room with an acoustic guitar on his lap as he chats to fans and responds to the messages streaming in across his screen. As she takes in his surroundings she can see that he’s strung Christmas lights around the head of the bed frame and hung paper stars from the sconce lights over the night stands.
“Hi Gemma in Austin, yes we will be coming back to Texas but not until next year. Hi guys, hi thank you that’s very kind. Hi, yes we are recording but I’m not sure when we’ll have a new song out, you’ll have to ask George about that he’s busy working on mastering some stuff at the moment.” She watches his eyes track across the messages, smiling and waving into the screen as he acknowledges them coming through. She types a quick note and sees his eyebrows notably raise and smile broaden. “Hey! Hi Meg in London, nice of you to join us, need to switch those notifications on, love!” She smiles at him, as if he can see her and watches a flurry of comments from fans pop up welcoming her to the stream.
“Guys, wow, there’s like over a thousand people on here. Thank you, all of you, means a lot that you’re here. I just wanted to come on and sing a couple of songs, think of it as an early Christmas present from me to you.” He picks up his guitar and she can tell he’s nervous from the way he bites on the inside of his lip. It’s different from when he performs on stage, without the eye contact and instant gratification of seeing people singing back to him. This is vulnerable for him, being alone, singing into virtual nothingness. She wishes she could reach out a reassuring hand to him.
He strums a few strings to check the tuning and starts to play When We Are Together, his voice sounds amazing and she can tell he’s really in his feelings. When he finishes he takes a deep breath before seeing the overwhelmingly positive response from the fans, she can sense his tension fading and he smiles slightly before shaking his head. “No, I am not playing Antichrist, seriously?” He rolls his eyes. He begins to pluck the strings, picking out a melody before strumming into Wintering. Watching him play so stripped back she is filled with such a huge sense of pride for him, his talent really laid bare. She feels so lucky to have him in her life and her sense of longing for him to come home makes her chest physically ache. He stops then and seems to be looking right at her, holding eye contact for a couple of seconds before he says “This is little surprise, I hope you like it.” She knows then that in his heart he was looking right at her and her pulse quickens as she recognises the song, Splitting Up Christmas.
“…And at some point I'll call you and tell you I miss you
And you are the point of my day
And my face will get flushed and my throat will choke up
When you tell me you feel the same
So I have been thinking of splitting up Christmas
To see everyone I'd like to see
And your first on that list
You’re the lotto I hit
You're the star at the top of my tree…”
Kevin Devine. One of her favourite artists and a running joke between them now. She knows he has chosen this song to send her a loving message and is deeply touched at the sentiment but she also knows he will be desperate for recognition and to find out if she prefers his version over the original. Initially she’d been touched with emotion at this song choice but realising his ulterior motives makes her laugh out loud, grinning wildly. When he finishes, he gives a sly wink and smiles before reading a few more messages and saying goodbye “Love you guys, love you!” he waves and disconnects. Within seconds he is calling her.
“I hope you liked your surprise, darling.” He beams, his head resting back on the bed frame, illuminated by the glow of his decorative lights. He looks like an angel, she thinks.
“Matty, it was so beautiful. Thank you, I loved it.” She can’t keep the smile from her face. “And I love your little decorations, 10/10 for attention to detail.” She praises.
“Thanks, love. I can help you decorate your place when I’m back if you like? As you can see I’ve definitely got the skills.” He gives a smug look as he nods at his own handiwork.
She pauses to take a breath, knowing there’s a conversation they’ve been needing to have for a while and now seems to be the natural time for it to happen.
“Listen,” she starts. “I know we’ve not really been together all that long but, umm, what are your plans for Christmas? I know you haven’t seen your family in ages so I’m not assuming anything.”
“Darling, I told you, once I get back I am not leaving your side for the rest of the year.”
“But, what does that mean? In reality. You have to see your family!”
“And I will, but I want you with me.” She smiles and feels fuzzy at his words, intensified by the buzz she’s already got from the wine. She can feel her cheeks pinken.
“You know, my parents were asking if I’m bringing anyone home…”
“And, are you?” he asks.
“Well, if you’re not leaving my side it would be pretty hard to explain if I said I wasn’t!” she jokes.
“So it’s settled? We’re doing Christmas together? We’ll be like the song, we’re Splitting Up Christmas.” They both smile. “That reminds me…” he adds and she immediately laughs. “What? What is so funny?”
“Nothing, honestly, you go on…” she covers her mouth to maintain a straight face and he frowns at her, a half smile on his face.
“I just wanted to know…” he deepens his frown, looking intently at her. “…if I was better?”
“I knew it!” she slaps her leg almost jumping out of her seat and knocking her phone off the sofa arm it had been resting on. She can hear him calling out as she scrambles for the phone.
“Are you drunk? Pull yourself together woman!” he laughs. She holds the phone up, it’s shaking from her laughter.
“Oh, I just knew you were going to say that! You just can’t let it go, can you? So jealous…”
“So, just tell me. Tell me what I want to hear.” He smiles.
“Honestly?”
“Honestly! I can handle it.”
“Well…you know what, I never really liked that song…” his face flattens slightly at her words. “…until I heard you sing it. You made it so beautiful, it was perfect and I just love that you sang it for me. Thank you. I’m going to go back and watch the recording as soon as you hang up.” She means it and she watches as he bites his lip, this time fighting to keep his ego in check. He holds his hand over his heart and smiles.