Work Text:
Byeongkwan used to be very optimistic and motivated. He’d moved away from his family to study and hoped such a move would give him more opportunities. He’d make friends, finish his studies, get a good job and at some point during all of that, he’d find himself a nice significant other and fall in love.
The future was bright and open.
Unfortunately, that isn’t what happened. He scraped his way through university and although he graduated, he still ended up working two dull jobs which barely covered his rent. The only friends he’d managed to make had turned out to not really be friends at all. Only interested in leading him astray and getting bored of him quickly. As for the falling in love… well, he’d certainly done that a couple of times. The only problem was that the other person never felt the same.
So, that’s how he found himself giving up on everything. Life became about simply existing, pushing through from one day to the next. Wake up, work, come home to crawl back into bed and repeat. If it wasn’t for his job, he’d go weeks at a time without speaking to another human being.
The world was void of colour, joyless and lonely. He was trapped, having nowhere to go to escape the cloud of melancholy. So, he resigned himself to this being the rest of his existence, not expecting anything to change for the better. He’d just continue the daily grinding cycle of rot.
Except, sometimes he’d fantasise about someone coming into his life and offering him their hand, rescuing him from feeling nothing. A ray of sunshine breaking through the sombre darkness. He wanted a friend more than anything else in the world, but could never bring himself to break out and try to connect with another person. He felt like he existed on the other side of a pane of glass from everyone else, unable to break through it.
That was the exact tangle of thoughts he found himself in as he walked around the back of his apartment building, heading home from his late shift.
“If the universe could send me someone, that would be great.” He thought as he prepared to face the emptiness of his tiny apartment. He almost wanted to cry. He probably would, but he refused to shed a tear. His day had been especially shitty. Almost every customer had been an asshole and his manager had spent twenty minutes yelling at him for something that wasn’t his fault. If it wasn’t for the fact he needed that job, he would have walked out.
He rounded the corner, reaching his hand into his pocket to fish out his wallet for his access card when he heard a loud crash coming from the trash cans he’d just passed by. Normally, he’d just keep walking. But for some reason, something compelled him to turn around and walk back around to investigate the cause of the sound.
Byeongkwan had expected to find stray cats rooting around in the garbage, or maybe one of those huge rats the size of a small dog he’d spotted out there before.
Instead, there was a guy laying amongst garbage bags and knocked over trashcans.
“Excuse me, are you okay?” He approached the young man cautiously. He almost jumped right out of his own skin when the guy suddenly sat upright.
“Hello.” The stranger said simply, blinking up at him before holding his own hand up in front of his face, inspecting it like he was seeing it for the first time.
High. This guy was probably high. Or very drunk. “Uh… are you hurt?”
The stranger looked down at himself and then up at the sky. “I fell really far…”
“Is that a yes? Do you need to go to the hospital?” At this point, Byeongkwan couldn’t just walk away. What if this guy was concussed or something? That could be why he seemed confused.
The man looked at him, cocking his head. “You’re not wearing a coat, you’ll get wet.”
“Get wet?”
“From the rain.”
“Right…” It wasn’t even raining. This guy must have surely hit his head. “Let me help you up.” He reached out, offering a hand to the guy.
After a few seconds of the odd man staring at his hand unblinkingly, he finally took it and let Byeongkwan hoist him up to his feet.
He could see the stranger better now that he was illuminated by the street lamp. He was taller than himself and probably somewhere in his late twenties. He was dressed entirely in black and had black hair, a little messy. He also had small white feathers stuck to his clothes, likely from the trash he’d somehow fallen into. Maybe someone had tossed out a broken pillow.
“What’s your name? Do you live around here?” Byeongkwan tried.
“Sehyoon…?” The young man said, sounding slightly unsure in his answer as he shook out his limbs like he was trying on a new suit or something.
“I’m Byeongkwan. Do you live close by?” Byeongkwan repeated his question when it went unanswered the first time.
“Live? I’m living.”
“No, I mean do you have a home?”
“Oh! No, I don’t think so.”
“Okay…” Fuck, what was he supposed to do now? He couldn’t leave this guy. He’d probably hit his head or something. God, he was too exhausted for this.
As if things couldn’t get worse, he suddenly felt raindrops falling onto him. Great.
“You’re getting wet.” Sehyoon pointed out.
“Look, I live in this building. Come up to my apartment and have a coffee or something. I think you’re kinda shaken up from your fall or something so it might help you to feel a little better.
So, against his better judgement and all the times he’d been told about Stranger Danger, he brought the trash guy up to his apartment. What else could he do? He couldn't just leave him like this. He'd end up laying awake all night worrying about the guy. So he was relieved when the man nodded a yes.
. . .
“I have tea if you’d prefer that to coffee.” He lead Sehyoon through to the living room, surreptitiously inspecting him for a sign of a head injury in the good lighting.
“Yes.”
“So… that’s a yes to tea?” He checked.
“Tea.” Sehyoon parroted.
“Right. I’ve got green tea, black tea, peach tea or apple tea. Any preference?”
Sehyoon just stared at him, still not blinking. It was a bit unsettling. Hopefully he wasn’t a serial killer.
“Okay, green tea it is.” He went to walk to the kitchen, noticing Sehyoon was following like a duckling. “You can go sit on the couch.” He motioned over to it.
“Okay.” Sehyoon obeyed, plonking himself down.
Perhaps he should have just taken him to the hospital. Well, too late now.
He made the tea quickly, one for each of them. He could do with something to calm his nerves. Getting back to the living room, Sehyoon was sat there looking at him like a puppy waiting for its owner.
He handed him the mug of tea and watched as Sehyoon stared into the cup with an unreadable expression.
“What is it?” Sehyoon asked suddenly.
Fucking hell. “Tea. Green tea. Drink up.” He encouraged, taking a sip.
“It’s hot.”
“Yeah? I put a bit of cold water in so it isn’t too hot to drink.”
Sehyoon sipped it and pulled a face.
“You good?”
“Bitter.”
Sighing, Byeongkwan got up and retrieved a squeezy bottle of honey, bringing it in with a spoon to add it to the other’s cup, stirring it around to sweeten it. “That better?”
Sehyoon sipped it again. “I like it!” He beamed, a big smile appearing on his face.
They sat in silence for a while, Byeongkwan trying to decide what to do while he googled symptoms of a concussion.
Headache? He wasn’t sure, he’d have to ask him.
Nausea and vomiting? No, that didn’t seem to be an issue right now.
Balance problems? Well, the guy did fall into a pile of trash and he did walk a little unsteadily.
Photosensitivity? Nah, that seemed fine.
Confusion? Absolutely.
“Do you feel better?” Sehyoon asked out of the blue.
“Huh? Me? I’m fine.” He shrugged. “Why are you concerned about me?”
“You asked the universe to send you someone. You said that would be great.”
Byeongkwan froze at his own thoughts being repeated back at him.
“Something made you want to cry, except you don’t ever cry.” Sehyoon continued, gazing into the half empty cup in his hands.
How the fuck could he know that? Had he been thinking out loud and Sehyoon heard? “How did you…?”
“That’s why I’m here. I was sent so you won’t be alone.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. People don’t pop out of nowhere to make friends with someone. Where were you even sent from?”
“Somewhere that isn’t here. It doesn’t matter.” Sehyoon shrugged.
“It kinda fucking does matter.” Byeongkwan argued.
“Why?”
“Because it doesn’t make sense!”
“Does it need to?”
Byeongkwan should have dismissed the claims outright. But how could Sehyoon possibly know what he had been thinking? What kind of logical explanation could there be?
There was also something strange about Sehyoon which made the story strangely plausible, other than the fact he was behaving rather oddly.
There was something about him it was hard to put your finger on.
He had no aura of presence around him, nor did he seem to have a weight of gaze. He was like a ghost in flesh form. If Byeongkwan closed his eyes, he wouldn't have been able to tell somebody was sat in such close proximity to him.
He looked totally normal, but the feeling he gave off was like thin white smoke. It was as though if you reached out to touch him, your hand would simply pass straight through, never making physical contact. Casting his mind back to helping the other up by taking his hand, his skin felt neither warm nor cold. It made him entertain the idea that this was all simply a dream.
It should have been jarring. Should have made him feel uncomfortable. But Sehyoon had a warmth about him which chased away the strange and otherworldly feeling he also invoked.
But if what Sehyoon claimed was true, what did he do to deserve such a thing? He was scared to question such a blessing. As though questioning it would make fate realise it had made a mistake and would take Sehyoon back.
______ ______
Two years passed by, his new friend slotting seamlessly into his life.
“What are you?” The question Byeongkwan would ask countless times.
“I’m your friend.” Was Sehyoon’s standard answer, or words to that effect.
“You know what I mean.”
“If you knew what I am and where I come from, would it change things? Would you see me differently?”
“No.” Byeongkwan admitted.
“Then there’s nothing to gain by knowing.”
Here he was, still with the stranger who appeared from nowhere, dropping out of the sky and into pile of garbage bags. A gift from the universe, perhaps. Someone sent to save him from the emptiness. That’s what Sehyoon had said, after all.
The product of someone or something somewhere hearing his wish for his loneliness to end.
Sweet and loving Sehyoon. More than slightly strange in the most endearing of ways. He blossomed into an artsy oddball who was always at Byeongkwan’s side. Eternally intrigued by things in the world and showing quite the skill for drawing and painting.
He would always leave small, downy feathers littered everywhere he went. There'd almost always be at least one stuck in his hair, the white standing out against the black. It was as though he shed them constantly but Byeongkwan had no idea where they came from. He had asked a few times, curiosity veiled with jest, but Sehyoon would change the subject on a dime. Usually rambling off on such a wild tangent that it made Byeongkwan's head spin and forget he ever asked the question in the first place.
Still, this all became normality very quickly.
The pair shared a bed, as they had done from practically the outset of Sehyoon dropping into his life, for lack of another option in his tiny apartment. Byeongkwan had never had a bad night sleep in all this time with his friend there next to him. He’d developed a habit of always having at least some part of him touching Sehyoon at night, usually a hand or leg. Otherwise, it felt like he would disappear whenever he closed his eyes because his existence was so intangible.
One morning, he woke early, laying on his side and watching Sehyoon. Byeongkwan often wondered if the other was ever actually asleep.
There was a fluffy little feather resting on Sehyoon's cheek, light and delicate.
His gaze fixed on the mysterious feather. They were always white, but he had discovered that if you held them up to the light, they were iridescent with a slight silver and pale purple hue.
In the beginning of their friendship, he had collected a few of them up and kept them in a drawer for no reason other than the fact they were pretty. But days later, he found they'd disappeared, leaving behind nothing but thin silver sheen of fine powdery residue behind.
"Hey, it's already 10am." Byeongkwan finally said, voice soft before he blew a short puff of air at the feather on Sehyoon's cheek, watching it fly up into the air before settling between them on the pillow.
Sehyoon’s eyes opened almost instantly, as they always did. This was one of the things his made Byeongkwan doubt Sehyoon physically slept.
“Don’t forget, you picked up an extra afternoon shift.” Byeongkwan rolled onto his back and stretched. Sehyoon had been holding down a job at an art galley about a year ago. He had demonstrated an amazing ability to earn and retain information, which served as quite an advantage.
“Yeah, I remember.” Sehyoon sat up, leaving quite a few feathers on the bed behind him. “Can we go get noodles from the new place tonight?” His expression lit up.
“Yeah, but you gotta promise we’ll go to the studio beforehand.” Byeongkwan had picked up his old love of dance in the last two years, with Sehyoon’s support. His inhuman friend had been eager to learn to join in since Byeongkwan revealed his old hobby.
“Deal!” Sehyoon hopped out of bed.
Byeongkwan loved him. He loved Sehyoon with all of his heart. Sometimes it it made him want to scream because his heart felt so full. Sometimes he’d look at Sehyoon sitting there and he’d feel like his chest would just go bang and explode in a shower of rainbow confetti.
Not that he would ever admit it. He would never risk ruining what they had.
______ ______
It was that winter when things changed.
“You’re making less mess these days.” Byeongkwan joked one evening, plucking a single feather off Sehyoon’s back. He hadn’t noticed any for the last few days.
“Yeah…”
Sehyoon’s tone of voice made Byeongkwan instantly concerned. “Is everything okay?”
“There’s less now because I’m running out.”
“Is that bad?”
“I… I’ll be stuck earthbound when I run out of feathers. So I’ll have to leave before they all fall out…”
Byeongkwan felt like he’d been stabbed in the gut with a sword made of ice. “You… you’ll leave me?”
“I’m sorry…”
“Why are you only telling me this now?” He wanted to cry. He wanted to burst into a flood of tears so badly. The last almost three years of his left had been the best and had just been pulled out from under him.
“I didn’t want you to feel like there was a time limit,”
“But there is!” Byeongkwan’s voice cracked. “How long?”
Sehyoon looked back at whatever was behind him which Byeongkwan couldn’t perceive. “About a month or so? It’s hard to say. Please, I don’t want you to think I was dishonest with you.”
“There’s a lot you haven’t been honest about. Shit, I stopped asking about because I felt like an idiot for questioning the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But guess I’m an idiot anyway. I don’t even know what you are or where you came from. Is Sehyoon even your name?”
“My name is Sehyoon because I decided that’s what it was. I don’t know if it’s always been my name or not.”
“Please. Please just tell me things. Please tell me what you are. I’m begging you.”
Sehyoon looked pained. “I don’t know much, honestly. I go to people like you. People who need me. When I leave, I leave the memories I had with them behind. That way, each person is the one who is special to me. They’re the only one because nobody else existed to me. I don’t really know where I came from, only that I need to go back there when you don’t need me anymore and my job is done.”
If the ice sword in his gut was real, right now it would be twisting inside of him. “B-But I do still need you!”
“I know, but I’m out of time. I’m so sorry!” He reached out a hand, only to have it swatted away.
“Don’t touch me.” It hurt. It hurt too much.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to tell you this way.”
“How did you intend on telling me? By letting me wake up one morning to find you gone forever?”
“No…”
“You saved me, Sehyoon.” He swallowed. “But now I wish you didn’t. I’d have preferred it if I was just left alone than for you to come along and show me happiness, only to tell me you’re going to leave and forget about me.” This hurt so fucking much more.
And the most painful part? The thought that Sehyoon would forget he ever existed.
“You’ll move on…”
“Don’t tell me I’ll move on. It’s easy for you! You won’t remember.”
Sehyoon flinched. “I want to stay.” He said softly, looking down.
“So stay!”
“I can’t. My feathers are almost all gone. They shed while I’m here, but they would always grow back. They haven’t been growing back and once they’re gone, I’l be stuck earthbound. I won’t be able to help you if this vessel becomes a mortal one.”
“But why? Why are they not growing back? Can’t we fix it?” He asked desperately.
Sehyoon shook his head slowly. “There’s something causing me to fall and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“What is it? Be fucking honest with me. I don’t wanna hear any more cryptic bullshit, Sehyoon.”
“I’m breaking the rules.”
“What rules?”
Sehyoon paused for a breath. “I fell in love with you.”
The air disappeared from Byeongkwan’s lungs.
“I’m sorry.” Sehyoon’s voice trembled.
“You’re sorry?”
“Please forgive me, I’ve ruined everything.” Sehyoon dropped to his knees, bowing his head so that his forehead touched the floor.
“Sehyoon…” Byeongkwan kneeled down, placing a hand on the top of his head. “I love you, too.. That’s why I can’t just forget if you leave. Please…”
Sehyoon looked up, looking genuinely shocked.
“Please don’t go…” Tears finally fell down his cheeks.
“But you’ll be stuck with me… I’ll be a person. I’ll get sick, I’ll age and eventually I’ll die.”
“Stuck with you? You make that sound like a bad thing.”
Sehyoon sat up, wiping Byeongkwan’s tears with his sleeve. “I’m not afraid of being mortal… but I’m afraid I’ll mess up. I was afraid you wouldn’t ever feel the same.”
“You idiot. I’m so goddamn stupidly in love with you. A-And if you wanna stay, I’ll help you. I’ll help you like I’ve helped you blend in.” He was suddenly struck that maybe he was asking a lot for Sehyoon to give up being whatever otherworldly creature he was. “O-Only if you want. You gotta think about it hard, right?” He couldn’t be selfish.
“If you’ll have me… I don’t think I need to do all that much thinking. But yes…”
______ ______
Four weeks passed since the revelation.
It was the early hours of the morning.
Sehyoon woke up with such a sudden start, that it woke Byeongkwan, too.
Woke up.
Sehyoon woke up. He’d never slept and so had never woken up before.
“Are you okay?” Byeongkwan switched the lamp on.
“I feel different.” Sehyoon said simply.
“Different how?”
Sehyoon reached out and cupped Byeongkwan’s face between his hands.
He’d become so used to Sehyoon’s skin feeling tepid that the new warmth was striking. “You…”
“Do I feel warm?”
“Yes.”
Something had changed. Sehyoon’s presence was there all of a sudden. Byeongkwan had been so used to his eerie almost-not-there existence.
“Needing to breathe feels strange, it’ll take some getting used to.” Something must have occurred to Sehyoon as jumped off the bed abruptly and began searching in the bed sheets.
“What are you looking for?”
“This!” Sehyoon picked a a feather which was hidden just under the pillow.
The final feather.
Byeongkwan didn’t know why he was surprised that it looked just like all the others. Unremarkable compared to all those which came before it. No doubt it would degrade into a thin sheen of fine iridescence within a couple of days, too.
It was a shame, he’d have liked to keep it.
“Will it disappear?” He asked, knowing the answer.
“Yeah. They shouldn’t exist here. That’s why you can only perceive them when they fall off me. They wither away because they don’t belong.”
“As long as you don’t wither away now.”
“Oh, I’ll wither. Slowly. Like any normal human, over time. But, I look forward to withering with you.”
Byeongkwan would probably never know what Sehyoon was. Especially as he believed him when he said he wasn’t entirely sure himself. But, he was content with that.
Sehyoon had been right before, knowing wouldn’t change anything.
It didn’t matter.
Not now, anyway.