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Your doom was closing in on you.
Every tick of the clock drawing closer to five PM brought it closer.
A look around the office confirmed that you were not the only one feeling that way. Tennoji was obviously unable to sit still on his chair.
Eiki was nervously straightening already straight paper stacks, Kyobashi’s tapping on his computer keyboard had a nervous rhythm and now and then it stopped as he looked up at the ominous clock.
Asano was nervously letting a coin wander around his fingers as he pretended to work.
Even lieutenant Kirisawa was nervous, you had to know him to see it but you had been his partner to and fort for almost a year now and you could tell. The slight furrowing of his brows, how he sat a bit straighter than normal, the sexy look in his eyes… you stopped yourself almost automatically from going any further whit that thought, that only led to hurt. Instead you looked at the only on in the room not fidgeting.
Hanai was almost ridiculously calm and had a small smile on his face. He had an almost giddy air around him. And that if anything, you thought to yourself, was a bad omen.
The tension was slightly shattered as deputy chief Nomura walked thru the door.
“Heey!” He smiled and delivered his usual greeting. “Got something urgent for us?” Kirisawa only almost managed to keep the desperation out of his voice.
“Wow wat's the matter? You actually want more work? And what’s with the gloomy feeling in here?” Nomura stopped abruptly in astonishment.
“Please say you have something urgent for us! Save us Nomura!” Tennoji did not manage to keep the desperation out of his voice.
“Hey that’s offensive!” Hanai glared at Tennoij.”What do you want Nomura?”
“Nothing special just thought I’d say happy birthday Hanai.” Nomura said and was met with groans from the rest of 2nd unit.
“Damn it Nomura you were our last hope!” You said half joking. “What?” Nomura said wondering.
“They are just grumbling because I’m going to beat them all at karaoke tonight.” Hanai said and gave the rest of the team an evil eye. “Oh I see.” Nomura said and laughed. “Are you going out to celebrate tonight then?” He asked.
“Yes, why don’t you join us Nomura?” Hanai said.
“Yeah why don’t you? Didn’t you say you say you were free this evening?” Kirisawa said before Nomura could say no and shoved he had a more sadistic side to himself. And so it came that all of 2nd unit and Nomura went out for karaoke.
As it was his birthday Hanai went first. Everyone ells took a shot as no one wanted to listen to him sober.
Getting drunk fast was the only way to survive karaoke night whit Hanai. The only better way was to get Hanai drunk fast so he would not be able to sing as many songs. Hanai found a song he liked and started singing.
“I’m a bit impressed. You’d think he had to hit the right note some time." You remarked to Kirisawa who sat beside you. He just laughed at you. He looked so sexy just by laughing it was not fair. A mere laugh and all those unwanted feelings resurfaced in your heart. It was half a year since you had talked at the hospital and he had calmly said that you two could not be together. It still hurt. You had kept smiling and tried to move on as best you could but it was not easy. Especially as you still worked together and met every day. Desperate for a distraction from these sad thoughts you snatched the song list from the table and started looking thru it.
Best part about going karaoke-ing whit Hanai was that you could be sure not to be the worst singer. You actually had a quite nice voice as long as you did not try for to hard notes. Looking thru the lists Oldies section your eyes found a song that fit your mood without being depressing, it was a birthday celebration after all. As Hanai grated thru the last part of his song you sunk the last of your shot and said “I’ll go next.”
You had a private room at the karaoke bar, (the only way to not get kicked out for Hanai) so you just lined up your song as Hanais ended. The familiar notes of Dolly Parton’s ‘Here you come again’ started playing. You started singing deliberately not looking at Kirisawa. Starting a bit shy you grew more and more confident as you sing. “…all you got to do is smile and smile and there goes all my defenses…” that part was embarrassingly true and you cannot avoid glancing at Kirisawa. He looks unusually serious and downs another shot. The song ends fast but you even manages a few dace moves and holds the long tune in the end on the “here I goo…” part. It feels oddly satisfying to sing your heart out you think as the guys applauds your performance.
As the night continues Tenoji sings punk-rock, Eiki sings K-pop, Hanai continues to murder all kinds of songs, Asano sings surprisingly well on an old Japanese song. Kyobashi sings a love song and manages to make it unusually innuendos (you will never listen to that song in the same way again). Nomura sings an old ballad and then makes Kirisawa do the same thing. At this point everyone is starting to go from drunk to very drunk. You wonder if it is the alcohol that makes you think Kirisawa looks straight at you during the most heartfelt part of his song. None of the others seem to notice but the mere thought makes you feel flushed and as the song ends you slowly rice and head towards the door mumbling about needing some fresh air to anyone who is listening.
The bar has a balcony you go out on, taking a deep breath you go stand by the balustrade looking out over the city. Just a few minutes later you hear the door open again behind you. You turn to find Kirisawa there, the very man you were trying to avoid.
“What a night huh?” He says and lights a cigarette.
"Yeah, Hanai seems happy at least.” You reply. Kirisawa laughs.
“Yeah, I’m happy he only has one birthday a year.” He says and blows out smoke away from you. There is a tense silence. You’re not sure what to say and Kirisawa seems to be immersed in the city’s skyline as he smokes. A cold wind blows making you shiver a bit, you start thinking that maybe you should go in again as it is quite chilly, and then a warm jacket lands on your shoulders and Kirisawas scent surrounds you.
“You seemed cold.” He says simply. Standing with Kirisawas jacket is an exquisite form of torture. It feels like him hugging you but at the same time it is a bit lonely. You savor the bittersweet feeling and beside you Kirisawa finishes his cigarette. Then you turn towards him. “Thanks but I think I should go back inside now.” You say and start to take of the jacket. Kirisawa stops you.
“Please, stay just a few more minutes.” He says. You look at him and start imagining a different world, a world where you said some things differently, a world where Kirisawa loved you so much that he did not care about being your boss. He wanted you enough to defy those unwritten rules.
“You sang beautifully in there.” He says waking you from your dreams.
“Heartbreak is something I’m familiar with so it is easy to get the right feelings for the song.” You mean for it to sound more like a joke than it comes out. You must be drunker than you thought. Kirisawa jolts as if you hit him.
“I ..I did not know I hurt you so bad. I…I’m sorry.” He says looking really sad. And you want to say something witty but noting comes to you so you just smile a sad smile at him. You start to leave again, and first you think he won’t stop you this time. You are halfway to the door as you feel his arms around you.
“I’m sorry.” He says again.
“Me to.” You say and try to get free but he won’t let you go.
“If I said that I was a fool six months ago, would you listen?” he says, his moth just by your ear making you shiver as he speaks.
“I-I… Yes” you stutter forth.
“I’ve tried in wain, but these feelings just won’t change. I-I just can’t stop thinking of you.” He says and you wonder if this is a dream because you dreamt of him saying such things before. You turn around; he loosens his hold but won’t let you go.
“Do you really mean that?” you can’t help but ask even as you’re far from sure you want an answer. He does not answer verbally instead he kisses you passionately.
Nomura goes out looking for Kirisawa after a while (he is the only one sober enough to realize you have been gone for quite some time). He sees you two kissing on the balcony and considers calling out but re-considers. He more than anyone knows how much pain Hiroshi has been in the last six months and thinks this is a good thing. Instead he manages to catch Kirisawas eyes and cheekily gives him a thumb up. Before going back inside to tell the others that their boss took you home. It’s not a lie; he just doesn’t say that Kirisawa took you home to his place. And that you did not get back to your place till the morning after.