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It was happening tomorrow. Taehyung had already said his goodbyes to his family and his friends, and even spent extra cuddles with Yeotan before handing him over to his father to take care of. But there was one person he hadn’t been able to get ahold of. The most important person in his life – Jungkook. The man he had spent the past 10 years with, almost day in and day out, had not made the effort to say goodbye. He had called and texted but hadn’t heard back from the maknae.
“He’s going in day after tomorrow. I shouldn’t be so upset, he has his own family and friends to say goodbye to,” Tae muttered to himself as he got ready to go to bed. He knew he wouldn’t be sleeping, he was too nervous about what tomorrow would bring, but his heart ached. Although he knew there would be time off, vacations, etcetera, he wanted to hold Jungkookie one last time before heading out.
Years ago, V had promised ARMY that he and JK would enlist together when the time came. After hoping they might be exempted from service, the government had denied BTS that possibility. It wasn’t like BTS had brought in hundreds of millions of won into South Korea, and those who did get exempted from service hadn’t brought in a fraction of what BTS had, but the government decided they wouldn’t let the seven men slack in their duty to their country. Then, it had come time to see Jin off as he finally enlisted. That night, under the cover of darkness, Tae had held Jungkook close while they both cried. It was inevitable, they were going to have to enlist. Both were proud that they could serve their country, but they knew the separation would be hard, especially for the two of them. They knew their secret would cause many problems if anyone in the military ever found out.
Tae had actually been working on his solo album and had shared that he had even spent time at JK’s house, using his studio to record one of his songs. There had been a whirlwind of music videos to tape, television interviews to conduct and spending time with his friends before he would enlist. Unbeknownst to anyone, he had secretly applied for the Special Forces. When JK found out he had spent several days not talking to Tae, hurt that the one person he wanted to be with would apply for the one area he, Jungkook, could not join. When JK started to promote his own album, Golden, he had finally run back to V to get the support he desperately needed from his love. And, as always, he had found Tae standing there with open arms, ready to welcome him back.
Those damned tattoos. Tae loved how JK looked, all muscles, with the beautiful artwork adorning his arm, but then they had found out that those same tattoos would stop JK from joining the Special Task Force with him. The one area everyone knew JK would excel was forbidden him because he had struck out and went against the “norm” to get his arm decorated. Many of the tattoos on JK’s arm had specific meaning, some shared only between the two young men, and every time Tae would brush his hand down JK’s arm, he would silently remember the special meaning each design had for the two of them.
“Jimin-hyung,” he had pleaded with his soul mate one night while JK was off at the gym. “Jimin, you have to enlist with Jungkook. They have the buddy system now; you can join together and at least keep an eye on him for me. Since before our debut, I have always taken care of our Golden Maknae, and now I won’t be there for him. And I’ve always been there for him. We’ve always been there for each other, but I’m the hyung, he needs me, but this time I can’t be there.” He buried his head in his hands. It was becoming too real.
Jimin had been reading over the enlistment paperwork and looked up when he heard the tears in his best friend's voice.
“Taehyung,” he paused to gather his thoughts. “You know what people will say if I enlist with JK. There are many people who believe in you two as a couple, but there are a lot who ship me and Kook. This will make them think they’re right. I hate this shipping thing, but you know Hybe has insisted on us doing everything we can to confuse ARMY and cast doubt on your real relationship. But, for you, I’ll talk to Jungkook and see if he’s willing to join with me.”
“I don’t care. Jungkook and I made a promise as soon as we realized how we felt about each other that our relationship wouldn’t be for the cameras, but our nights, our getaways, our time away from the cameras would be what was important to us. We’ve let enough out that people seem to understand how much we love each other…”
“Yeah, like just watching the way you two look at each other wasn’t enough to prove Taekook to the world.” Jimin chuckled. He had done his part in helping his two best friends try to keep their forbidden love from the public, but as many would say, their eyes will tell.
“Jimin, you have to watch out for Junkookie. Please, convince him. Keep him safe. I can’t do this unless I know Kookie is ok.”
And Jimin had sat down that night with Tae and JK and they had discussed what needed to be done. JK had been devastated, knowing he wouldn’t be enlisting with his Taehyungie, but the three of them had made a plan. Just one day would separate them, and then they would all be done at the same time. Jimin kept stressing that they would have time off, that they wouldn’t be totally isolated from each other, but after 10 years of being together almost 24/7, they all knew this was going to be hard. RM had also held back his enlistment, to make sure he was there for the maknae line, to help get them through this, just as he had helped them get through their debut, their performances and all their other obligations as BTS.
And now Tae was alone. Tomorrow he would begin the next chapter in his life and he was scared. Being an idol wouldn’t help him as he went through basic training and then special training to do his duties as a Special Task Force member. And his heart ached. Literally felt like it was being torn down the middle. He felt a panic attack coming on, and he couldn’t do anything about it. Usually, when he would feel a panic attack, he would turn to Jungkookie and let the maknae hold him until he could get himself under control. Jungkook had always been beside him or at least a phone call away when these hit, but now there was no one. He picked up the phone and was just deciding whether to call Jimin or possibly RM to help talk him down, when he thought he heard something.
Clutching the phone tightly, he tiptoed out to the living room, listening for any sound. Then he heard it again. A quiet knocking at his front door. It had to be someone he knew, cause the guard would have never just let anyone in.
Should he answer it? he asked himself. There was no one else he needed to say goodbye to, and JK had his own key to his house. So, it couldn’t be him. Maybe something had happened to the guard and a sasaeng was trying to get in. He had enough with being stalked and being scared. Maybe he could just look out the peep hole and see if he could determine who it was.
Walking quietly to the door, he put his eye to the small hole and looked out. There was nothing. Then he saw a hand reach out to knock on his door again. A hand that had ARMY tattooed on it. He couldn’t get the door open quick enough.
“Jungkookie,” he breathed as he grabbed the arm that was trying to knock on his door again.
He couldn’t help it, he began to cry with relief. His Jungkookie was here, right in front of him, looking at him as if he had hung the moon. He shut the door and pulled JK into to his arms, knowing that it was probably the last time they would have together for a long time. It was now that he regretted the time he had spent away, promoting his album. He had really been upset when Hybe had scheduled the Running Man episode while JK was giving his only solo concert. He had had the tech people connect him to be able to watch it live, but he would have given anything to be there in person to support the Golden Maknae. When he hadn’t been able to reach JK the past couple of days, he couldn’t help but wonder if it was the beginning of their end. But, the love of his life was there, right in front of him, kissing his tears away, murmuring little “I love you”s in between the kisses.
“I-I-I th-thought y-y-you had for-forgotten m-m-me,” he gasped out, then gripped JK even tighter.
“Taehungie,” JK smiled gently at the man he loved. “I could never forget you. I just knew once I started to say goodbye to you, I wouldn’t be good for anything. I needed to get my hair shaved, say goodbye to my family, and I wanted to do one last Live with ARMY. If I had tried to say goodbye to you after our group did that last Live, I don’t know what I would have done. I’m here now, shhhh, shhhh, come on, sit here with me.” And Jungkook lead Tae by the hand to the large couch in the living room, drawing him down to sit beside him after he had settled down.
“I don’t know how I’m going to make it without you, Kookie. I know I can do this, I know I can excel in the Special Forces, but I had always pictured us together, doing all of this together. I’m scared to be without you.” Tae buried his head in JK’s shoulder and began to sob in earnest.
Gently kissing the top of his head, Jungkook moved to cradle Tae’s head in his hands and gently wiped the tears away with his thumbs.
“We’ve talked about this. We’ve spent some time apart to start getting used to it as we’ve both promoted and released our albums. While we serve, we’ll make sure we have time off together. We’ll still have text and skype between us. We haven’t totally lost touch with Jin and Hoseok and Yoongi, we’re all still in touch. Just like the two of us will still be in touch. Think of how fast the last 10 years have gone since our debut. It was like a blink, and now 18 months will be less than a blink. We’ll both be busy, but we’ll stay in touch. I love you Taehyungie, just don’t ever doubt that. Please don’t find someone new while you’re gone, remember I’m here, waiting for you, wanting to continue as soon as this time is behind us. I have something for you. It’s a combination Christmas and Birthday gift, but I want to give it to you before you left tomorrow.”
With this Jungkook reached in his pocket and drew out a small box. Tae took it gingerly, knowing this was something special. They had exchanged rings, necklaces, clothing, just about anything, so he wasn’t sure what he was going to find in the box.
Lifting the top off, he gasped. Lying there was a 3x5 frame, with a rare purple diamond at the top and “Borahae” inscribed at the bottom with a photo of the 7 of them together. It was one of pictures that had been taken at the Grammy’s, when he had been struggling with depression and had doubts about how much Jungkook loved him. JK had stuck to his side, telling everyone without words that Taehyung was his. It had been one of the pivotal moments in their relationship, known only by the two of them. The other five supported them, helped keep their secret, but none of them had any idea of how deep Tae’s depression had gone. Only Jungkook knew the full extent of the blackness that had surrounded Tae, and it was Jungkook who had kept him going those months. This photo showed the loving look Jungkook was giving him, telling him without words how much Tae meant to him. It had been his screen saver for a long time on his personal laptop, to remind him that even if he felt the world hated him, he still had the love of the Maknae.
“You can keep it with you. It’s small enough to fit in your pocket, but you can put it on your nightstand and remember that I love you Tae. More than I can ever tell you. I bought a matching frame with that photo I love so much from when we went out on our date to the movie premier. The one where you can see the love in your eyes as you looked at me. It’s so we can look at each other every night while we’re apart. Promise me Tae, you’ll look at it every night before going to sleep, and I will too, and we’ll meet in our dreams.”
Tae could barely speak past the lump in his throat. “I will,” he whispered.
Getting up, Tae reached for Jungkook’s hand and led him into the bedroom, to create one last memory the two could share before tomorrow came.