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It was a common school day in the 5th grade of Springfield Elementary, by common we mean extremely boring of course, with the class teaching the usual lethargic and boring subjects while the students struggle to stay awake. Ms. Kerry was a cool teacher but the topics they gave to her to teach were so boring that not even the biggest nerd or herself could stay interested, fractions, really?
It maintained the excruciating boredom until an announcement came to all the halls.
-Maggie Simpson and Gerald Samson please head to the principal’s office immediately
Maggie and her former rival and now boyfriend were sitting at the back of class, drawing funny faces and writing drafts of their possible next songs. When they heard the announcement, the entire class and the teacher looked at them with an unsurprised look on their faces.
-You heard it you two, you can go. - said the teacher
The couple stood up from their seats and left the classroom while mumbling insults and complaints, they walked by the hallways talking to each other about what was it this time. They entered Principal Skinner’s office where Seymour was sitting on his desk with a serious look on his face while in his front were 4 seats, 2 were taken by Anastasia and Simon.
“Great, the devil’s daughter and the snitch” - Gerald said in his mind.
-Take a seat you two kids, we have to talk. - said Skinner with a serious tone
-What are we here for Principal Skinner? - asked Maggie
-YOU TWO KNOW VERY WELL WHAT YOU TWO DISGRACEFUL ADOLESCENTS ARE HERE FOR! - Anastasia yelled at them with angry tears in her eyes
-Calm down Ms. Burns, I can handle this - said the Principal - My son told me he found this drawing on the school mural.
Skinner put down a piece of paper on the desk, it showed a poorly-drawn caricature of Mr Burns with two X’s on his eyes, a piece of garlic in front of his face, and the title of the drowning being “What should be done with the nuclear vampire” and in the bottom an anarchist A symbol and a logo of a band called “The Pacifiers''. Gerald left a small laugh at the drawing.
-Simon said that “The Pacifiers” is the name of a rock’n’roll band you two are making, now, here at Springfield Elementary we value the artistic expression of our students and are more than happy to let them express themselves in all ways, but we have a strict policy regarding art that offends identifiable people, even more, when said people is a student or the parent of a student such is this case, so I have no choice to give you two 2 weeks detention.
-This doesn’t make any logical sense Principal - said Maggie in a challenging tone - if we are getting censored this means the students don’t have the freedom to make art.
-YOU CAN’T DRAW MY DEAR FATHER LIKE THAT YOU HEARTLESS DEMONIC BOLSHEVIK!!!!!! - Anastasia yelled loudly at Maggie, the scream being way too near Simon’s ear, making him cover his ears with the noise, his father saw this and got angry.
-Miss. Burns, if you keep this immature behavior towards the situation you will get detention alongside them, besides, I thought we made it clear to avoid making loud noises near my son.
Anastasia wasn’t one to take scoldings very well, but since it involved her crush getting hurt by her, she went quiet with a sad guilty look on her face.
-Now back to you two, 2 weeks detention, and if situations like this keep repeating, I will have to ban your band from ever participating in the school talent shows, we have an agreement here? - said the Principal with a scolding but patient tone to the kids, since he was experienced in dealing with things like this since Bart Simpson
Maggie and the eyebrow kid had no choice but to accept the punishment, they nodded together.
-Great, now with this resolved, you 4 can go back to your respective classes.
The 4 left the room by order of the principal, they avoided at maximum making eye contact with each other because of the riskiness of the situation and Maggie was controlling herself to not beat up Anastasia, They parted ways once they were in the hallways.
-Simon, I deeply apologize for screaming at your ears, I must’ve hurt you really bad, I’m really really sorry - Anastasia said in a desperate almost crying tone, the thought of hurting her loved one scared her so deeply
Simon was non-verbal at the moment, so he gave her a thumbs-up
-This… means everything is ok?
Simon nods yes
-Oh Simon, I’m so glad that everything is ok, I’m also so grateful that you denounced what these 2 unscrupulous Bolshevik adolescents did with my father. Can I give you a hug and a kiss as a thank you? If you are okay with it, of course.
Simon nods yes and gives a thumbs up. Anastasia hugs him and kisses him on the cheek, she blushes and he makes a brief smile, they go back to their class.
Hours later
Maggie and Gerald were at their respective lockers organizing their stuff and getting ready to go to detention, they were both very upset by the situation, but Maggie was substantially angrier at the situation, she grew up in an environment that told her to hate Burns from all perspectives. A cruel, unreliable, and greedy boss according to Homer, and a vampire that sucks all the money of the city to himself, abuses the environment, and is responsible for multiple of the radioactive problems the city had to endure according to her sister Lisa. Maggie had contempt for every person in a position of wealth and power, but contempt for Burns was something generational and familiar to her reality, so getting her protest art censored by the principal was something that struck her personally.
-See babe, I warned you that putting a drawing like that in the mural would cause us trouble because of the snitch and the devil’s daughter being two love doves. - said Gerald
-Wait, the Snitch and Dracula Jr. are dating? Didn’t Skinner once say that we are too young to be in romantic relationships?
-Yeah, but did you ever observe how those two are together? She always acts like a hyperactive hamster when near him compared to her other friends. Remember when she had a tantrum at the party because he was mistreated? These two are together and in love.
-This proves she is adopted because no Burns would ever feel genuine love towards any other human being - Maggie closes the locker violently
-Isn’t Burns married right now?
-Yes, but it is probably because of the power dynamics he has over Waylon instead of actual genuine love.
-Makes sense…
-I’m feeling a thirst for revenge against Principal Stinker, what should we do? My brother still has some spray paint in his room, we can paint the bathrooms!
-I’m pretty sure this is going to get us expelled babe, and our parents aren’t going to be very happy.
Maggie started to think about other ideas to get revenge until a memory of her sister’s voice saying that music is one of the best ways of expressing emotions, a light bulb appeared in her head.
-We can make a song together against him! It will be outside school so he can’t do anything against it!
-That’s a great idea, Babe! We can start writing it in the detention room! We will say to Miss Gunderson that we are doing assignments. But how can we spread our protest along?
-I know! Maybe a music video and we can send it to every student’s email! Except for the snitch and Dracula Jr of course.
-Great idea babe, you are a genius - Gerald kisses her on the cheek and she blushes
Meanwhile…
Anastasia writes a poem in her diary while on the school bus, the poem reads:
“Simon, my eternal bride
I love you, with my heart full of pride
I gaze at you, I can only see transcendental beauty
You are my prince, with an aura so ethereal…”
-Hey Stacy - Liv greeted her and sat on her side, the Burns girl closed the diary abruptly and scared
-Hey Livna, I’m bothered I didn’t have a chance to engage in friendly banter with you and Hikaru due to the incident regarding the horrendous drawing Maggie Simpson did of my father.
-Hey, I saw it! - Hikaru entered the conversation - It made me imagine how cool it would be to have a Castlevania mod or a DOOM wad where your dad is the boss.
-I know one thing or two about game modding, I can help to make it happen - Selina added in
-ENOUGH! None of you are humiliating my father any further, I have had enough of this disrespectful behavior regarding my family! Anyway, this is all resolved and the couple is locked up…
-You mean in detention right? - Liv said with a scared tone thinking they got arrested by the cops
-Of course, it’s in detention! Anyway, Simon helped and we finally can leave this conflict behind.
-I like how you talk like you are from the late 19th century Stacy, it gives you a cool unique charm - said Liv both as a joke and a genuine compliment
-Thank you, my friend, anyway, do you people have any after-school activities to do together with me?
-Nothing really, maybe we can hang out together at Hikaru's house to play some newer video games his dad got him - Liv said - I’m pretty bored at my home because my parents seem to be having some dumb marriage crisis thing or something and aren’t talking to each other.
-Me and Selina know that very well, of… - said Hikaru
-It seems that I’m privileged that my daddy does everything my father wants.
The kids gave a weirded-out look to Stacy and kept talking.
-Today wouldn’t be a good day though because we both have homework
-So, sleepover tomorrow? - Liv asked
-Yeah, I don’t think my parents will mind it, as long as you don’t mess with my dad’s action figures - Hikaru said - Do you want to join us, Selina?
-I have a 10-chapter Homestuck-Touhou crossover fanfiction to finish and post in some forums, but my mom keeps nagging that I should leave my computer once in a while, so sure I guess.
-Great Stacy, send a text to Simon inviting him.
Meanwhile…
Maggie and Gerald were in The Simpson’s house Maggie’s room, now instead of the usual baby room, was a messy room with dark-green walls and posters of rock bands such as Nirvana, Crass, Discharge, Amebix, Christian Death, The Smiths and Babes in Toyland. They were both on Maggie’s computer utilizing a music-making software where they produced their song against Principal Skinner.
-Your guitar work was amazing babe. - said Gerald in an excited tone - Now that the song is read, we need someone to film the music video for us.
-My parents have a film camera in their room that we can use
-Aren’t those things expensive?
-Yeah, but my dad has very big money savings in his account because of the royalties of his old band, he can buy a lot of things to do his usual shenanigans
-Why does he keep working for Burns?
-Health Insurance mostly, because considering his lifestyle it’s very expensive.
-Makes sense.
-We need someone to film it, maybe someone from the school that won’t snitch
-I still can’t trust someone for a task like that - Gerald nodded no - Perhaps we can make loose shots of both of us doing things and singing the lyrics of the song? Or maybe the video will feature just you because you are the vocalist?
-Hmm, I was thinking we would have something that would make us bond as a couple, I know, we can rotate between one filming and one being filmed.
-Great idea!
The next day…
Maggie and Gerald skip school and go with a camera in the woods, neither of their parents know about their project. Maggie has black lipstick and eyeliner, with a black leather jacket, crusty pants, and black boots, Gerald has the same outfit but the pants are more saggy and he has no makeup.
The music video starts with Maggie screaming “THE. BIG. STINKER. IS. WATCH IIIIIIIIIIIII ING” and an intense punk rock riff starts playing as she headbangs and it cuts to her throwing garlic on the door of the nuclear plant. It then cuts to Gerald picking a picture of Skinner and burning it, with Maggie right after starting to scream the following lyrics:
“Big butt skinner, enemy of the youth
Former soldier, now school dictator
Defender of the VAMPIRE EEEEEEE”
Other shots of Maggie throwing garlic at the nuclear plants, cut to a shot of Gerald cutting the tires of Skinner’s car.
“Authoritarian scum, speak one time then gone to detention
Disgusting autocrat, hates his students
Putting a snitch of a son in the middle of us
THE. BIG. STINKER. IS. WATCHING”
The video ends with a digital drawing of Skinner where he has a disproportionate big butt, a nose with a booger getting out and lines above him indicating bad stench
After recording and editing the video, Maggie and Gerald released it on YouTube and sent it to every student at the school as an email.
The next day
It was lunch at school. Simon was eating plain spaghetti with no sauce, Liv was eating a cheeseburger with Buzz Cola, Stacy was eating a filet mignon with a huge slice of strawberry cake as dessert, and Hikaru was eating sushi.
Selina, the webcomic kid, appeared near Hikaru and called something to his attention, she said that he needed to see something and took him to the computer lab.
-What is it, you dork?
-Don’t call me that, anyway, I was in the computer lab doing what everyone does in those classes, checking my internet accounts and I received an email from Maggie Simpson that is a YouTube video.
Selina shows the music video of “Stinker” by The Pacifiers
-Wow, this is hilarious, I need to show it to my friends! - Hikaru said laughing and wheezing
-No, don’t do that!
-Why? This is the funniest video ever, we all feel like that about the Principal.
-Isn’t your friend Simon autistic?
-Yeah, why is that relevant?
-Well, I talk to a lot of autistic people on the internet, and they often say they are bad at responding with emotions such as humiliation, I also know for a fact that Simon holds his dad with extreme regard, seeing such a violent humiliation to him will probably make him upset on a damaging way that I don’t wish upon anybody.
-Oh… I see your point, why did you call me anyway?
-I wanted to know if Simon saw the video
-No he didn’t, as he normally does every day.
-Please, avoid the maximum that he sees it, take him to our home at today’s sleepover and just act normally.
-Well, I will do - Hikaru said, rolling his eyes - Why do you care anyway?
Selina shrugs
Hours later…
The 5th grade was going boring as usual, until there was a new hallway announcement, this time from Superintendent Chalmers
-Maggie Simpson, go to the principal’s office immediately.
-Well, that was just coming to us - said Gerald - But hey, why did he call just you and not me?
-I have no idea, maybe Stinker is biased against me or something.
Maggie left the classroom mumbling insults while the teacher looked at her with a smirk knowing the reason she was going to the principal’s office, the other students on the other hand, one half saw it and the other didn’t.
Maggie walked through the hallways again, stumbling upon Hikaru in the way.
-Hey, your song is cool
Maggie smiled
-Thank you
Maggie kept walking until she reached the principal’s office, this time with no other students and Superintendent Chalmers being alone there, waiting for her at the desk.
-Take a seat, Miss Simpson
-Where is the Principal?
-Seymour is in his mother’s house getting treated after a really bad PTSD crisis mixed with sensory overload, because of that, he told me to replace him - Chalmers said in a serious tone - Now, he said that due to your little song…
-How did you guys see the song?
-It was posted publicly on the internet for everyone to see and it involved the school, you thought me and Seymour weren’t going to see it? You kids are just beyond stupid sometimes.
Maggie laughed and looked down at the ground in embarrassment.
-Continuing, because of your little song, Seymour told me that he wants you to delete the video and extend your and Gerald’s detention time for 1 month. But before, he told me to read something to you.
-What is it? Let me guess, more moral shaming from him for my way of being? I’m never going to change for bootlicking, no matter how much he tries.
-It’s not that Miss Simpson.
Chalmers picked a notebook from the drawers.
-This is an old annotation notebook from when your brother used to study here. Seymour wanted me to read an annotation he once did about him since he thought it was relevant to the situation.
-Pfft, go on I guess.
Chalmers cleared his throat and started to read:
“Had to put Bart Simpson into detention again today, people in the faculty often ask me why I even still try with him anyway due to our long rivalry, but the truth is: I see hope in Bart Simpson.
The students and even some parents often accuse me of being too authoritarian and strict, having too many rules in the school, and punishing students too much. While this may be true, if I were that way and hated children I wouldn’t be a principal in the first place. What I see in Children is the future and what I see in Bart Simpson is intelligence, an intelligence that he doesn’t know he has and doesn’t know how to express, an intelligence that allows him to rebel, I want Bart to find an outlet to his intelligence because deep down, deep inside every troublemaker there is a kindred soul that doesn’t know about how kind it is.”
-You're telling me that Principal Skinner wrote this about my brother? - asked Maggie in a tone of disbelief
-Yes.
-You mean, Seymour Skinner, wrote that about my brother?
-Maggie, you think Skinner scolds you because he wants to censor you, but he wants you to find a better outlet for your art and revolt. Besides, do you think the school would want to have problems with Mr. Burns? Because trust me, Skinner has the same low opinion of Burns as you have, but he just has to censor art against him for the safety of the school and the fact that his daughter studies here.
Maggie looks down at the ground with shame again.
-Seymour also told me that he wants a direct apology to from you specifically, he called you specifically because he has a history with the Simpson family and he dealt a lot with you and your siblings.
-I understand…
-You can leave the office and go back to class now.
Maggie leaves the office looking at the ground sadly.
Hours later…
-Babe, why did you look sad in class today?
-Gerald, I think we might have to delete the video.
The one-eyed kid looked surprised.
-Why is that Maggie? Did they give you the scolding of your life or something?
-No no, they just expanded your detention to 1 month…
-Just???
-Well, that and I think Skinner isn’t as evil as we thought, turns out he cares about us.
-Really?
-Yeah
-Whatever you say, I will delete it tonight.
Hours later…
The kids were all at Hikaru's house playing Street Fighter while eating snacks and laughing in a typical sleepover manner, Liv was kicking ass in the game and Hikaru was losing.
-Dang it! Guess I was never good at fighting games anyway.
Liv picks up her phone and says:
-Hey Simon, did you see that one video Maggie Simpson made about your dad?
Hikaru and Selina all got scared for a second and tried to tell Liv to not go forward with it.
-What video?
-Let me show you
Selina facepalmed desperately and Hikaru was still trying to tell her to not show it, Stacy was as curious as Simon was
Liv took her phone and clicked on the link, just to show a “deleted video” screen.
-Oh, never mind, it was deleted.
Hikaru and Selina sighed in relief.