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“Nie Dou! You little toad!” And before anyone can react, General Meng, top martial artist in the Liang empire, captain of the Emperor’s own personal Palace guard, defender of the weak and downtrodden, has landed a mighty punch on Nie Dou’s face, sending him sprawling into the grass.
They are in the gardens at Su Manor. General Meng is about to deliver more, when he feels Marshall Nihuang’s arm on his.
“General Meng” If General Meng didn’t know better, he might have said that the Marshall looked amused. “General Meng, I appreciate your… defense of me. However, I can discourage unwelcomed suitors on my own. And Nie Dou has done me a great service in the past, I would not see him hurt over such a small matter.”
“Kill me, General Meng.” General Meng and Nihuang turn as one to Nie Dou in surprise at his words. Instead of fleeing or fighting back, Nie Dou has gone on his knees and hangs his head in a posture of despair. “Kill me, General Meng. I am an ungrateful toad. There is no one else who deserves to stand beside the Marshall except…”
“Bloody right!” Then, noticing Nihuang's raised eyebrow at his words, he relents “I’m not going to kill you Nie Dou, because Marshall Mu has graciously forgiven you. But what possessed you to do such an unworthy thing?” He shakes his head in disappointment. “You worship Lin Shu! I would never have thought you capable of insulting him this way.”
Nihuang looks sharply at Nie Dou. “General Meng is right. You would never dare… not unless…” and here she cuts herself off but walks right up to Nie Dou and roughly raises his chin so he is forced to look up at her. “Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me he didn’t….” she hisses angrily.
General Meng looks at Nihuang with incomprehension.
“My feelings are my own, Marshall Mu. No one told me to fall in love with you.”
“But without encouragement, you would never have said anything. You would have died first.” Nihuang’s words are statements not questions. “When you came to Yunnan to save us from that disastrous water battle, you stayed on afterward, ostensibly, to train the soldiers. That was a massive risk to take on the Chiyan army remnants being discovered. You couldn’t have done that without explicit instructions.” Coldly, “There is only one person who could have given you those orders, and now I think I know why.”
General Meng is confused. The situation had been so simple: The little toad was trying to get the attention of the swan while Lin Shu was down-and-out. He, General Meng, was teaching the little snit a lesson. Somehow, somewhere, the story got jumbled. Currently, it looked like the swan was interrogating the toad over a water battle?
General Meng attempts to assert some control over the strange turn of events. “Well! Nei Dou everyone makes mistakes, as long as you repent, no harm done…”
Nihuang laughs mockingly. “Yes, what could be more harmless? Why if Nihuang Meimei marries Nie Dou, Xia Dong Jie and her would be sisters for real! Everyone would be a big, happy family!” Bitterly, “...and he can die in peace.”
General Meng catches onto the general idea that Nihuang is not excited about marrying Nie Dou. “Marshall, I guarantee it with my life: No one can force you to marry Nie Dou!”
Nihuang gives him a genuinely, if slightly wry, smile “General Meng…. I thank you for your kindness."
“Tell him that even if I can’t help him, that… that things are never going to be as they were, that I am not some obligation to pass along, like some hand-me-down!” Her quiet voice slices through Nie Dou’s muddled feelings like a freshly milled blade, and he deflates anew.
“Remind him that I am Marshall Mu Nihuang of Yunnan. I have led an army of 100,000 men this decade of more, have held the Southern border safe through hell and high water, and held my own in a scheming court not only because he ‘keeps an eye out’ for me. Remind him that he is not the only person to have survived grief and death and made and kept promises!" Even without understanding half her words, General Meng is reminded why Nihuang is widely feared by her enemies.
"For all that he has, and I believe will continue to, perform miracles, there are things he cannot right, that are not his to right. No matter his intentions...no matter his promises.”
“Marshall Mu, it is not doubt of you that moves him to…” Suddenly tired, she cuts Nie Dou off. “I know. It has hurt him all those years to stand-by and only watch. How could I not understand, when I feel the same way now? Every single day.”
She raises him to his feet gently. “Nie Dou, I am not angry at you. I'm angry because I want so many things I cannot have. But I understand. He is who he is and will do what he must.”
“Only tell him to trust me to do the same.”
________________________________________
“… and then Nihuang storms out. I told Nie Dou that he had best come with me and explain everything to you and beg for your forgiveness.”
General Meng finishes after Nie Dou had given a very detailed account of events- albeit in a very flat, dead voice.
It is less than an incense's length of time since the encounter with Marshall Nihuang. General Meng is now sitting with Mei Changsu, Lin Chen, Feiliu and Li Gang in Mei Changsu’s study, with Nie Dou on his knees, a heap of misery, in front of them. It has started to rain again- a curse of autumn in Jinling- and the wind is rattling the wooden doors. General Meng vaguely notes that Nihuang is likely to be caught in the rain.
“Zhuang Zhu, grant me death for my failure.”
Mei Changsu is sitting very still, with his eyes closed and fists clenched. General Meng wonders if it is possible that he has gone a few shades paler even than usual. Lin Chen, on the other hand, is openly, incredulously gaping at Mei Changsu.
“Truth be told Xiao Shu, Nie Dou seems sincerely sorry- maybe we should forgive him this once?”
Lin Chen now turns to gawk at General Meng, his mouth makes funny shapes as if he can't decide if he wants to laugh or do something else. Li Gang has found something immensely interesting on his left shoe. Only Fei Liu’s reaction is normal, gazing at a point in the air. At least it is normal for Fei Liu.
“What? Why are you all so quiet?”
Lin Chen starts to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” General Meng frowns.
Fei Liu dutifully repeats “Funny.” Lin Chen giggles with increasingly inexplicable amusement. General Meng glares at Lin Chen suspiciously. Li Gang looks desperately around for some excuse to leave the room. Only Mei Changsu remains stock-still, trapped, like the wind-tossed leaves outside, in a swirl of withered promises.
Lin Chen wipes his eyes, “Fate is funny General Meng. Apparently She doesn’t just work in mysterious ways. She also has a sense of humor!”
General Meng looks even less enlightened after that explanation.
“This is the best story I’ve heard all month, and- let me assure you- I hear a LOT of good stories as head of Lang Ya Ge!”
“Well, I did tell Nie Dou that there are things that can’t be forced.”
“My sentiments exactly.”
“And those are the things you just have to accept.”
“I couldn't have said it better!”
General Meng brightens, “So now that we all understand, everything's back to normal?”
“You are a genius General!" Lin Chen looks admiringly at him. "Other geniuses could stand to learn from you that there are things you can't manipulate. Not even for rubbish notions about noble love or old promises.”
Mei Changsu finally moves. He raises Nie Dou to his feet gently. “The failure is not yours, it is mine." He instructs a grateful Li Gang, who scrambles out of the room, to fetch a rain-cape and go after Nihuang. He then turns to give a sparse bow in the direction of General Meng and Lin Chen, “Thank you for your efforts. There are, after all, those whose happiness are not mine to defend any longer.”
Finally he turns to the gardens, half obscured now by the pouring rain. He steps out onto the veranda before anyone can stop him from exposing himself to the chill. He puts his hand out, eyes closed, to feel the cold, relentless reality of autumn rain, time and change. Somewhere beyond the veil of water, he imagines her riding home slowly, heedless of the rain, furious and heart-broken and proud.
The rain beats a rhythm on the roof, battering the nearly bare trees out of their last leaves, and the wind whisks them away in powerful gusts.
He stands there, hand outstretched till he is blue in the lips and he cannot feel his fingers.
Lin Chen relents in his teasing and bullies him into returning to the warmth of his inner rooms berating him the whole way.
General Meng is still there and rises to give Mei Changsu an awkward pat in the back. "Don't worry Xiao Shu! She'll be back.”
Then, remembering something, his voice brightens. “Why, I remember when news of the Chiyan army was broken to the Great-grand Empress Dowager. We thought the Dowager might die of shock and grief! Nihuang stood up and even though she was just 16-years-old and crying, she ripped her own white sash into two, tied one around her head and one around the Dowager's. Then she knelt and swore to the Dowager that the Chiyan army died heroes, and that she, Mu Nihuang of Yunnan, would defend her, defend Liang, in your place, since you no longer could."
General Meng gestures broadly, a fond smile on his face. "And look, isn't Nihuang still faithfully defending the Southern border after all these years? After all that has happened?"
Mei Changsu has opened his eyes, and is staring at him, frozen.
General Meng pats Changsu in the back again. "All to say, this isn't anything compared to what she's been through, and I know she'll be back to stand by you, by Liang and everyone she loves."
There is a long silence while Changsu turns white, General Meng looks satisfied, Neidou looks miserable, and Lin Chen is impressed by whichever God sent General Meng to smite Changsu with the truth.
But before Lin Chen can make any cutting remarks, there is a timid knock on the door, and Li Gang enters with uncharacteristic hesitation.
Lin Chen makes a shoo’ing action “Can’t you see your master is sick, whatever you need can wait!”
“But… she.. I don’t know how urgent this is, but it seemed… important to her?”
Without having to clarify who “her” is, Changsu gestures him over.
Li Gang kneels and turns his hand right side up and bowing, presents to Changsu… a grey pebble.
There is nothing exceptional looking about it- the streets are strewn with pebbles like it.
General Meng and Lin Chen look over at Changsu- who frowns at the pebble in apparent confusion as well.
“She… Marshall Nihuang refused the rain-cape but bade me to follow her to her mansion. Then, not even stopping to change to something dry, she fetched this for me and bade me give this to you with a message”
Li Gang takes a breath and recites “ ‘I’ve kept this and the stone worked as promised- you came back. I’m returning it now and reminding you of the magic- no matter how far you are, need me and I’ll be there.’ ” Li Gang keeps his head down the whole time, not daring to look up.
Lin Chen and General Meng, on the other hand, stare blankly at Changsu at this inexplicable turn of events.
Changsu reaches out his hand, still cold, numb and shaking a little and picks up the pebble. His hand fists hard over the pebble. His face has gone expressionless.
“I need to rest.”
Li Gang jumps up to support him, General Meng hastily stands up to bow his leave and Lin Chen rolls his eyes in exasperation.
When Lin Chen checks in on Changsu, hours later, he realizes, even deep in a medicated sleep, Changsu’s hand is still clenched around the pebble.
Try as he might, Lin Chen cannot pry it free.
________________________________________
Epilogue
Call it intuition. A life-time devoted to digging up secrets hidden in dark places has given Lin Chen a ‘nose’ for secrets.
Years and years after Lin Shu’s passing, Lin Chen finds, in a hidden compartment of Lin Shu’s belongings, a gray pebble.
Also, a pearl the size of an egg and a few withered plum flower petals.
On a hunch and a half-memory of that rainy day from years ago, he takes the objects with him on his next visit to the Palace.
“Your Majesty, before I leave, I do have one request for you.”
“Lin Chen, old friend, when have you become so polite? You know you never have to stand on ceremony with me.” Jingyan gestures Lin Chen to rise.
Lin Chen has become a regular visitor at court. Not counting Grand Marshall Mu Nihuang, who now holds the critical Northern border leading the reinstated Chiyan army, with Li Gang, Neiyuan and Neidou serving as her lieutenants, Lin Chen is the advisor the Emperor most cherishes.
“This visit to the Capital I finally found the time to go and sort through objects that were left behind by Changsu … General Lin Shu.”
Jingyan picks up the pearl first. Carefully and quietly looking at it for a moment.
“ ‘Things stay and people… do not.’ I recognize this- and you should send it to Nihuang. It’s a gift that Lin Shu was waiting to give to her at their wedding. In fact, I was the one who bought it while on a mission on his request!”
“Ah… a sentimental item then. But your Majesty, I’m also curious about the grey pebble, do you know what it is?”
Jingyan frowns as he picks up the rock “This is a puzzle. An ordinary rock…”
“General Lin Shu got that from Grand Marshal Nihuang only days before the final battle, and she said something about a magic stone and safe-keeping?” Lin Chen prompts.
Jingyan’s face lights up at that “Oh… that! It’s been so long I’ve nearly forgotten! Such a childish thing!”
“It was the year Lin Shu had his first patrol with me- he must have been all of 12 years old? Nihuang was an 8-year-old spitfire! She was adamant that she wanted to come patrol with us, and nothing could change her mind. She went so far as to sneak out of her home on her pony and rode it to the Southern Gate an hour before we were to leave, all dressed in her martial wear, with her supply pack and everything. It was the most adorable thing my troop had ever seen!”
Jingyan smiles, “I’ll never forget her, small sword in hand, saluting us when we approached. But nothing could appease her when we explained she couldn’t come and she started to cry. Lin Shu, ever the clever trouble-maker, picked up a pebble from the ground and handed it to her. He told her that the Grand Emperor Dowager needed someone to stay behind and protect her, and promised that Nihuang wasn’t going to be alone either because the stone is a magic stone. As long as she has the stone then, then no matter how far he was, if she needed him, he’ll be back!”
Jingyan half-laughs at the memory, “But Nihuang wasn’t that gullible. Defending Granny made sense but she was suspicious about being given so fantastic an object- she told him, narrow-eyed, that she had never even heard of magic stones before. So while the rest of us tried not to laugh, Lin Shu glibly promised her they absolutely do exist. And that he wasn’t giving her the stone, he was placing it with her for safe-keeping. Afterall, and Lin Shu dramatically lowered his voice to say this: Who, under Heaven, could be more capable of protecting Granny and his magic stone than the young Grand Marshall Mu?”
“Nihuang bought the whole thing after that, and swore on her sword that she would defend not just Granny and the stone but all of Liang while he was away. Then she saluted us again, carefully took the pebble with her on her pony and left. For days afterward Lin Shu was the butt of jokes about how cunningly he dealt with his little ‘wife’!”
There was a moment of silence, then Jingyan adds more quietly “After the incident, I called Lin Shu in and gave him a talking to. Gentlemen do not easily make empty promises. He knelt and told me that he would accept a whipping for lying about the stone, but not for making empty promises.”
“He said ‘They’re not empty.’”
By the end of Jingyan’s story Lin Chen is silently but fluently and creatively cursing Changsu for being a heartless, thoughtless moron and Nihuang for being an even more stupid, heart-stabbing, stubborn idiot.
He promises himself that he is going to take the stone and instruct Feiliu to use it to pelt Lin Shu’s grave… over and over again.
Maybe he’ll invite General Meng to come watch.
However it is Jingyan (or perhaps Nihuang) who gets the last word, “I shouldn’t have been surprised that Nihuang’s asked me to bestow on her the task of restoring the Chiyan new army after Lin Shu left us. I sometimes think she understood him better than he did himself. And she never was one for empty promises.”