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the rainbow bridge

Summary:

You looked her over. “How many lesbians exist on Asgard?”

“We have a rainbow bridge and our method of world traveling uses a magical contraception called the Bi-frost. A better question would be how many straight people exist there.”

Notes:

Reader is a sad lesbian who just broke up with her girlfriend. Loki is Loki.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

You lied down onto the floor and groaned. “Out! I’m out, you win.”

The bitch looked so utterly self-satisfied it almost made you get up and demand another go, but then she sat down next to you, patting your back. “Get off of the floor, you idiotic creature.”

The gym floor smelled like disinfectant and rubber, but obeying her would be too easy. “I can’t, I’m dead.”

“I wasn’t aware dead people could talk.”

“Stop pretending like you know everything.”

Ooooh, what don’t I know, then? Do enlighten me with your infinite wisdom.”

You glared up at her. “Fine. What do you want to know?”

“What really happened with Bailey?”

You sighed. “Her name was Bailey.” Loki surveyed you, until you quietly answered her in defeat. “It’s not important.”

“It’s given you enough frustrations that you’ve agreed to spar with me for the first time in weeks. I’d say if it’s not important, it’s at least an interesting tale.”

You figured distracting her was the best way to go about this. “Why is it that you have this lavish, British thing going on and Thor is just a Canadian jock?”

“I was adopted.”

“Oh ha-ha. That's funny.”

She smiled. “You do realize how incredibly disgusting this floor is?”

“It’s good for my immune system, I’ll live longer.”

“I thought I’d killed you?”

You sat up. “I was already dead, so it doesn’t count.” You move to grab your water bottle, before sitting down again. “Did you know there’s an entire community hidden away in plain sight, just waiting to strike on some innocent, poor souls that happen to find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time?”

Loki gazed at you, waved her hand in a ‘this is irrelevant’ gesture. “Of course, the vampires. Why do you ask?”

You gaped at her. A few seconds passed. “Are you telling me vampires are real.”

She shrugged. “It’s not likely you’ll ever get to meet one, they’re very hard to find these days.”

You played with the cap of your water bottle. “Do you think I could befriend one?”

Loki rolled her eyes. “What is it with you and befriending dangerous entities? I knew you were self-destructive, but this is taking it to a new level.”

“Okay, firstly, rude. Secondly, I was talking about lesbians, not vampires, but now that I know vampires exist I’ve kind of stopped to care about the point I was making.”

She looked down, voice a bit quiet. “I think lesbians are charming.”

You moved a bit closer to her. “Of course you do, you’re a precious individual who doesn’t like to lie down on every disgusting surface she can find.”

Loki shrugged.

You looked her over. “How many lesbians exist on Asgard?”

“We have a rainbow bridge and our method of world traveling uses a magical contraception called the Bi-frost. A better question would be, how many straight people exist there.”

“Fine.” A beat. “How many straight people exist on Asgard?”

“About six, I’d wager.” The deadpan way she said it made you laugh, but because you were also sipping your water at the same time, you choked. She patted your back again, smirking. “Hmm, drinking is such a difficult thing to do, is it not?”

You muttered a raspy ‘fuck you’ in between coughs.

Once you’d gathered yourself together, she continued. “We don’t really share your culture's views on sexuality in Asgard. It’s one of the few things I suppose could be considered progressive, there.”

“Hmm. Do you think I could move there?”

“With your manners? You’d be kicked out to the streets in a day.”

“Aww, don’t say you wouldn’t help me.”

She lifted her head and stared straight ahead. “On Asgard, I have a very busy life and a reputation to uphold.”

You nudged her with your shoulder, playfully. “You must like earth so much better, then.”

The lights flickered, and for a second you were afraid that Jarvis was just about to call everyone to suit up. Nothing happened though. You relaxed again. Loki left out a breath. “I do, but that’s for different reasons.”

You smirked. “The vampires, of course.”

She got up, extended a hand to you while sighing in that special, exasperated way she’d sigh when Thor had said something dull again. “Sure, because of the vampires. Come on, you’re showering.”

For a second, you contemplated asking her to join you, but figured whatever retort she’d have ready for you wasn’t worth it. So instead, you decided to go to raid the communal kitchen, for a different kind of comfort.

In your haste to the kitchen, you missed the way she smiled and ducked her head when you grabbed her hand, to pull her along with you.

Notes:

I was going to have reader explain the whole underground network of lesbians to loki next, but they got carried away.

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