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Sun died once
It was when Bloodmoon attacked him and left almost nothing of his remains. He blacked out and entered a whole new territory that he had never experienced before.
He had no body in that time and space. He was just…there. He was everywhere yet nowhere at the same time. He could see everything yet see nothing at the same time. He knew everything yet nothing at the same time. He drifted off into nothingness. And… was it so wrong too say that it felt so good? He had no worries or cares. Sure he knew that he was probably dead. He knew that his brother would mourn. But his family would get over it. He wasn’t that important to the family. He smiled on cue but that was all. Now he didn’t feel any sadness, he was just there. It felt so…good…
He would’ve drifted in the nothingness for ages, but he was dragged back into the world of the living. When Sun opened his eyes he never felt so sore before. And everything was just so….loud, noisy, and uncomfortable. But he put on a sile while Moon sat and hugged him. He had to be happy that he was back right?
Wrong, Sun was now cleaning off the barrels one by one. About 5 kids each day chew on one of the barrels. It was disgusting really, but Sun cleaned them off. One by one. With the hand sanitizer that he was given. He was obsessed over cleaning. He had no idea why. Maybe it was because it was programmed into his systems. Or maybe something deeper. Maybe each time he cleaned it reminded him of himself. He’s dirty, with so much sickness and trauma. It would be so easy if he could wipe it away. But no matter how hard he scrubbed it wouldn’t.
Or maybe he was just looking too deep into things. He did that sometimes. He tried to return to his cleaning, but instead looked at his hands. His hands were metal… were they always metal. He looked around. Is this life? All it really is? Is this the life he came to live each and every single day? Was he always supposed to clean the mess? Was hsi always supposed to feel pain? Because that’s basically his entire life. Nothing but nonstop pain. Sure he had his family, but sometimes he really wonders if they love him. Compared to everyone else he really is nothing special. He was no one. No one really. A what about where you go when you die? He was there. Was Eclipse there too? Was Old Moon there too?
He was so small… compared to everything and everyone. In the large scale of things he really didn't matter.
“Sun?”
He felt himself longing to go back into the oddly warm embrace of nothingness. Going back to where he wouldn't have to worry, back to where he could be everywhere yet no where
“Sun.”
But it's bad to think like that, right? TOo want to die? Too not exist anymore? Too not cause anymore problems for anyone in his family. No it couldn't be that bad… Right? It could be so easy to return to that warm embrace of nothingness.
“Sun!”
SUn quickly snapped out of his thoughts. “WhaT?!” He yells. Moon was looking at him worriedly. What happened? Did Bloodmoon hurt someone again?! Did Ruin strike back?! Was the Old Eclipse back?! HE couldn't or was prepared to deal with any of those!
“Sun are you okay?!” Moon asked, startled. He leaned over the counter giving Sun a curious glance. Sun tried to put on a cheery smile despite his inappropriate thoughts of ending things. Though the sound of returning to the void gave him some form of happiness.
“Yeah! Of course! I’m fine!” Sun says waving Moon off, but that seemed ot make Moon not believe him even more.
“Really?” Moon asks. “I was calling your name like 3 times before you actually responded.” Three? Sun must’ve only heard the last one.
“Yeah! Just thinking about some things.” Sun says calmly.
“Ok…” Moon says unconvinced. “You need help?”
“Nope.” Sun says turning his attention back to the barrels. He felt hismelf slowly go back into his own thoughts thinking about the void