Chapter Text
once upon a time, everyone was at home.
I'm talking about the dragon stone, from the peaceful times of my childhood, from the house full of the sounds of laughter. the dinner tables would always be full of family members. Baela would steal food from Luke's plate and Rhaena would scold him, then she would steal things from my father's plate as if she hadn't scolded baela for that just now. my eldest brother Jace loved to read, sometimes he would come to the table with a book, I always wished I could be like him. mom and dad... most of the time they would sit next to each other - when viserys wasn't jealous of mom and dad - even if we were next to them, it would be in their own world, whispering and laughing about something we couldn't hear.mom used to make fun of dad's age and steal his dessert from him.
Sometimes Rhaena and Baela used to braid my father's hair,not the warrior-type untidy braids, but cute braids with ribbons and flowers. Even if he pretended to be angry, I could feel that he was very happy.
i used to spend most of my time with my brother joffrey and viserys. while Jace and Luke were practicing swords on the beach, we used to play with our wooden swords. joffrey would become the knight in the white cloak protecting his queen, while Viserys would become the brave knight in the golden cloak protecting the city. I would be the bard who told about their heroism at the bonfire and sang songs for them. the house would always be full of peace.
but those times are over...
that's when I met death. I didn't know much about my grandfather viserys and our new sister in my mother's womb, but I knew luke. I knew the boy who took care of my bleeding knee when I fell, told funny stories about sailors, accompanied the ridiculous songs I sang. for the first time in my life, I felt sad at that time, sadness was like a fog cloud that took me in and imprisoned me. After the death of luke, the house was filled with strangers, people who upset my mother, people who wanted war. the sounds of laughter stopped, replaced by the loud sounds of angry people.
when jace put us on a ship, Viserys and I were fighting, Viserys was trying to bring the his dragon egg to the ship, but because of me, his egg fell into the sea. although jace told him that they could give him one of the new eggs of syrax, his anger did not subside. this is the moment I thought I saw him for the last time. when my mother's enemies came and attacked us, I escaped from the ship, and when I looked at the lively face of Jace one last time, I felt regret for the first time in my life. I should have been the one who died on that ship. if jace had lived, my mother wouldn't have died, if jace had lived, that mud-yellow dragon wouldn't have eaten my mother. but I didn't die.
sometimes I hear voices. The sound of Baela escaping from the window of his room and going to the city, the sound of Rhaena's harp and the sound of Viserys's iron sword striking a wooden target. but I've never heard Jace reading me high valerian books, Luke's bragging about his dragon, Joffrey's predictions about what will happen at dinner, dad's lush laughter, or the songs mom sings. I don't hear the storm anymore either, so I can't get scared and sneak out of the bed where I'm sleeping with Viserys and run into the safe arms of mom and dad.
anyway, I can't go home anymore either.